MONDAY: You Want Me Too, Don't You?

[rokofages]

There's that post-vacation fatigue lingering in the air when Brian gets to school. The halls are filled with sad, tired faces and people looking listlessly out the windows like they're already longing for the four days of freedom they've just left behind

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[detentionkid]

The pulsing in AJ's head has died down a little, but -- it's like that was the only thing keeping him afloat, and now he's underwater. Everything is muted, just shadows and quiet around him. It should be exactly what he's looking for

[rokofages]

"You-" Brian starts, but falters straight away. Nothing about what AJ is saying or what he looks like is making that knot of worry ease up, and his hand reaches out again instinctively. But it stops in mid-motion, fingers curling uncertainly in against his palm. "Okay," he says eventually, without taking his eyes off AJ. He doesn't need to ask why, or what about. "Okay, let's-"

His head whips around when the door to Kevin's office opens.

[bassintraining]

"Good morning, Brian," Lance says, although his eyes flit towards AJ halfway through. Brian's backpack is slung over one shoulder and is nearly falling off entirely, but it doesn't look like he's noticed. He stares at Lance in confusion, then at AJ with a level of worry that makes Lance feel, for a split second, like he's walking in on something private. His hand is halted in mid-air towards AJ's arm, and AJ's hugging himself hard and staring at the ground.

"Go on ahead," he says to AJ. Without saying anything, without even looking up at either of them, AJ pushes off the wall and walks past them into the office. Once he's inside, Lance checks on him quickly before he steps into the hallway and leaves the door open a hair's width ajar behind them. "Everything's all right," he tells Brian very quietly.

[rokofages]

Brian's eyes have gone wide. All he wants is to get past Lance and go be with AJ again, even if it's just to sit there in complete silence. And why is Lance here? "I don't understand," he says helplessly.

[detentionkid]

A minute. That's the first thing AJ's heard today - the first thing in weeks, maybe - that doesn't feel... immediately impossible. He can do a minute. He can stay above water for a minute.

"'Kay," he manages to say, but his voice still comes out too quiet. Brian's fingers flex on his arm, and a shudder ripples through AJ. He looks at Brian for the first time that day, sees the worried crease to his forehead and the exhausted dip of his mouth, the way it looks like he's set to protest again. Like he wants to take AJ home and put him to bed, and a part of AJ wants to let him. He is still so tired. "M'okay," he hears himself say instead. "S'okay."

[rokofages]

Brian nods, biting the corner of his lower lip. His fingers itch to run through AJ's hair again, but instead he covers AJ's hand with his own, grip a little too tight, and smoothes his thumb along the back of AJ's hand. "I don't want to leave," he tells him, very quietly but very clearly. It's so hard, it's damn near devastasting, knowing that AJ still doubts that. And even with that, he knows that the unspoken full statement lingers between them; I don't want to have to leave. "Please just - don't shut me out."

[detentionkid]

AJ's pulse flutters in his throat. People say things they don't mean all the time, and it's just - it can be hard to put any stock into it. But Brian's touch is so warm, and so firm, and AJ lets his head hang for a second, watching Brian's thumb skate across the back of his hand.

"M'not," AJ murmurs. His pulse jumps harder when Brian squeezes his hand. So dangerous, his brain hisses at him, but he's not thinking about it, he's watching Brian's hand and staying in the moment. Just for this minute. "M'not trying to. Just - happens sometimes."

He flounders for the words again, because he can't think of another way to say that he's trying, that he hasn't stopped trying, but--"M'still... working on it."

[bassintraining]

"How are you working on it?" Lance asks, startling them both out of their moment. He raises an eyebrow at AJ. "No, seriously, I'd like to know. Because this pattern of disappearing into thin air has been going on for a while now, and it's not showing any signs of stopping."

"M'not--" AJ starts, so close to bristling again, but in the end he sinks back into the couch and pinches the bridge of his nose hard, like he can block it all out if he tries hard enough.

"I know you're not trying to," Lance says. Brian opens his mouth to speak, but Lance holds up a hand to stop him. "But there has to be some action behind your words, AJ, or they're just words. They're empty." He pauses, just for a second, to hopefully let it sink in. "No one here can do the work but you, but I think it's just been made abundantly clear to you that you don't have to do it alone. So if you feel like you need to stop swimming sometimes, that's okay. But you can let someone know before you do. Let Brian know."