I have just watched Nigel Slater squeezing and then slicing (with a huge knife) a testicle. He is now making 'testicle kebabs'.

Ow. Owwwwww.

Bed is boring too. Maybe I'll get up and hoover. Or clean the bathroom.

Hmm.... I have just discovered that 32" jeans can be removed without undoing them, or the belt that was supposed to be holding them up! I am not sure whether this is a good or a bad thing.

... and I'm mind-numbingly, excruciatingly, fundamentally BORED.

That is all.

The very tip of my nose has been itching for about 14 days now - like something small and furry has decided to take up residence on it. Scratching doesn't work. I have even tried plucking, only to discover there is nothing, in fact, there to pluck ( Read more... )

Simon and I have just spent the evening trying to work out how to explain what I do.

It appears that my new job title is:

"So why doesn't it work ?" Technologist

This is a mild improvement from the previous one, which was

"Who fucked this up ?" Technologist

A while back I promised some people I would start to put some of my recipes on t'interweb, and I have finally managed it - here.

OK, time for ironing. And then The Apprentice, during which i will be trying (not very hard) to resist shouting "You bunch of f*cking numpties!" on a regular basis.

I have been thinking about this. Not very hard, as you will be able to tell.

I think "I told you I was bored stiff" probably sums it up nicely.

I have recently re-discovered the tastiness that is Heinz Sandwich Spread. It appears to me to be something which, prima facie, looks like toddler-vomit. This is just a façade, however - it is in fact jolly nice. It is also the sort of thing that would make a Frenchman recoil in horror shouting "Zut Alors!" and "Quelle Domage!" and, you know, other ( Read more... )