Comments | poodah: How can everything get so fucked up in 5 short days?

poodah

How can everything get so fucked up in 5 short days?

Apr 21, 2003 12:20

DRAMA QUEEN ENTRY-READ AT OWN RISK (If I knew how to do that LJ cut thing, I would ( Read more... )

family, relationships, heartbreak, travel

Comments 6

childinprogress April 21 2003, 14:35:07 UTC

awwwww *hugs*

poodah April 22 2003, 09:50:34 UTC

Thanks. I appreciate the love.

quasar April 22 2003, 09:30:17 UTC

I agree with C's comment that all relationships have periods of indecision and anger. I also think two years in a relationship, especially when a big chunk of that time was spent broken up, isn't necessarily ages and ages, long enough to know for sure if you want to marry someone. (I suppose J and I are a bad example for that, though, since we took 4 1/2 years to decide ( ... )

poodah April 22 2003, 09:56:22 UTC

Honestly, I don't know anymore. I thought, based on things he's said before this past weekend, that he did want to be with me long term (kids, house, etc.), but that marriage in particular scared him. I sort of figured it was one of the things he was dealing with in therapy. But, after this weekend, I'm not even sure that is true anymore. I know 2 years isn't all that long, it's more that he so afraid that's hard to deal with. I'm not so much about marriage, I was more about him getting over that fear of it. But, I'm starting to suspect from our recent conversations, that he's not really afraid of marriage, he just has a lot of objections (like my weight, my low status, low paying career choices, my rheumatoid arthritis, etc.) to marrying me. I think this is so hard because even though he loves me, all the things he doesn't like about me are too big for him to ignore, so he's sort of waiting for me to change into the person he wants me to be. But, that ain't happening anytime soon. The thought of losing weight to please him ( ... )

quasar April 22 2003, 10:10:21 UTC

Hmmm... do you think he objects to your low-paying career choices because he wants to be able to afford a house eventuallly and do some travelling, etc., or because he wants status for its own sake? Maybe what I'm asking, is, are his objections related to what we would consider legitimate concerns, some of which might be able to be addressed? Or are they symptomatic of him wanting a trophy wife? Has he said one way or the other recently?

poodah April 22 2003, 15:51:42 UTC

I'd guess because he wants to live a better lifestyle than the one our two incomes are currently affording. I don't think its status, I think it's money, and the way he's been subsidizing my lifestyle so it can match the one he's like to live up to. I know I want to be earning more money too, but my career choices haven't made it as simple as that, since admin folks just don't get paid much, compared with techies.