Moving in together blues... And it's only week TWO!

[poodah]

So, I'm a bit of a bitch. A grumpy bitch at that. I get annoyed and suprisingly pissed off at JM because his sense of what cleaning involves and what clean looks like differs from mine and is just wrong. He vacuums around stuff like piles of clothes on the floor and wipes counters and never notices that he didn't actually wipe the food off of it

Comments

[poodah]

Yeah. I'm sure we'll sort ourselves out, or break up. Either way, I guess I need to just chill and be more flexible.

[quasar]

Hmm... it sounds to me that you've already divided the chores and that it isn't working because J's concept of doing them well is nowhere near your concept of doing it well. I'm guessing that there's also more than just the frustration of the choice between living in a dirty, messy environment or doing all the cleaning yourself... I'm guessing you're seeing this as emblematic of more general differences in expectations and J's inability to meet your expectations, and that you're reading his failure to clean things carefully as evidence of his not taking your needs and desires seriously enough. Do you think that's part of what's going on?

[poodah]

As we discussed, I am unnecessarily stressting myself out.