(Untitled)

[sans_eyepatch]

[When the island bestows gifts upon its inhabitants, there's always reasonable cause for concern. Anyone whose spent a month or more here is well aware that the island is sentient, and moreover, a complete sadist. The gift it has granted the island today is a nice, unassuming outdoor café of sorts, offering delicious pastries and coffee (or hot

Comments

[leaguechallenge]

[Are you ready to feel SO ENERGETIC??

Try this, Red! It's an energy drink for people who need

GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY]

...This is awesome!!

[Good luck, island. And you thought he was annoying before]

[aquaboss]

[...Oh goddamit island. You are such a troll, you know that? First there was the oven and the cookies and now this? Are you trying to kill Red, island? Are you really? Because you're going to do it one of these days.]

[So, uh. What have you been drinking, Red? Archie will just make sure not to touch that.]

You're gonna break someone's eardrums, kid.

[Hi, Red, miss him?]

[leaguechallenge]

[Well, Red nearly killed himself from the oven without the island's help, so that's not really fair. But there are more important things to worry about right now.]

ARCHIE! ARCHIE TRY THIS DRINK, IT'S AMAZING!

[aquaboss]

[The island let you have an oven, therefore your argument is invalid.]

You're gonna make me go deaf, Red! [No, seriously, his hearing is pretty bad to begin with.] What the hell has got you so excited anyway? [It's... just a drink, Red. Calm down.]

[leaguechallenge]

Sorry! It's just that this is really, really good!

[aquaboss]

[But why are you so loud.]

That's still no reason to scream 'bout it. [Seriously, you're going to start attracting looks soon, Red.]

[leaguechallenge]

Well, okay! But I can't stop moving around! It's like I've got more energy than I've ever had!!

[aquaboss]

[Thank you, that's much better. Feel free to move around all you want - Archie's perfectly fine with that.]

Uh huh... an' what was this drink you were goin' on about? [You didn't get into the coffee, did you?]

[leaguechallenge]

This one! [Not coffee, but the caffeine apocalypse in a can, pretty much.]

[aquaboss]

[Huh, this looks safe enough-- OH MY GOD WHAT IS IN THIS THING.]

You've been drinking this? [You're going to have a heart-attack, Red. You really are.]

[leaguechallenge]

[Well, it'll be a good heart attack, then.]

Yup! I've had five cans!

[aquaboss]

[...]

[Just... this expression. There are no words.]

...Are you serious.

[Okay, maybe there are some words.]

[leaguechallenge]

Yup! IT'S THE BEST! I want to get some to take home with me!

[aquaboss]

[Dear island, please stop trying to kill our little morality pet. Love, Archie.]

That's... probably not such a good idea. Do you even know what these things have in them? [Does Archie?]

[leaguechallenge]

NO IDEA! But they're great! I've never felt this great before! [Oh god he's going to have the worst crash ever later.]

[aquaboss]

[Yep, he's going to have to keep an eye on Red now. Child-proofing that house of yours clearly didn't help all that much, did it.]

Well, you really shouldn't be drinkin' this many of 'em. [Red... you're starting to scare Archie over here. Is that even possible?]