That’s right…she blew me…balls deep, in a test driven car. Seriously, though, she was good enough to get me into a coup and throw a short five with old man river in the “seat of glory” as I red-lined and grinded his fourth gear as I slipped off the clutch and grabbed my cock and shot gobs and gobs of goo onto the dash as I spoke softly into his ( Read more... )

People, and thier friends ( Read more... )

A.L.? Oh yes….oh yes…there was anal…lots, balls deep. Piercings ripping the fragile lining of the anus. The pulling of the hair. The balls resting against the sweaty cheeks. Robert…it makes me want to make bunnies with the bridesmaid all over again. Seriously…my bridesmaid is so fucking hot. Now, if all you tiny-dicked bastards would stop ( Read more... )

That is right, bitches, I have got a fUCK pOD being del. and I saved fifty bones so that makes everything more boner-riffic. And I've got the special prime-time shoes so as to better kick your asses come the day to mourn our friend Travis and his passing of his wiener unto the same seaman receiving lady for the rest of his life. Just ask Ron how ( Read more... )

The return is here...

And if by success I mean two chicks at once, then I fucking mean success. She brought her friend over and asked if it was okay that I was late for work and I thought about it for about a second and decided that I’d break my promise to be a good little boy for the day (I will be going back to my promise starting tomorrow morning) and rearrange ( Read more... )

I don't normally do this sort of nonsense but in this case, I will give way to the brilliance of someone else, whose words will strike deep into your very soul and force you to hang yourself by a telephone chord in the shower with a toaster plugged in waiting for the tub to fill, because, in this moment, at this very time (whilest I fiddle with my ( Read more... )

Any of you dumpsters that The Marine has decided to forgive (because it is obviously your fucking fault) you can eat the taint part of my ass…that’s right, the part between the back of my fucking nuts and the tip of my asshole (the same part I used to rub on Fathead’s phone while he slept because it is hilarious to think he’ll be having phone sex ( Read more... )

Last names and feelings. Seriously…I can’t even remember half of you bitches let alone your last fucking names. And I know that I don’t care and you shouldn’t either. And if you did it doesn’t fucking matter, you don’t have feelings anyway. It’s like I don’t have to ask for anal, you just do it.

Taking away my vaction like it did.

Heads will roll. Bodies will tumble away from the rolling heads. And I have never seen such beauty.