breaking point PSA

[pocky_slash]

UGH, SHERLOCK FANDOM, STOP USING THE WORD "BROMANCE!" IT MAKES ME SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE IN ITS VAGUE HOMOPHOBIA!

I know the creators have used it, but we're better than them! That's why we're in fandom

Comments

[theeverdream]

The words "gen" or "friendship" convey the same thing, but without the implied "because ACTUAL romance between two dudes isn't cool!" that comes part and parcel with the word "bromance."

I was wondering if you could explain this? I don't use the word bromance and I haven't heard it used a lot so I am confused as to how it implies that romance is bad.

I hope this doesn't come across as accusatory; I do honestly like to educate myself about things like this.

[scrollgirl]

I'm sure pocky_slash can give you a better explanation, but I'll give it a go. I don't have a problem with the actual male/male friendships that people have described as bromances (e.g. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's friendship) but I have a problem with the way the word is used to draw a firm line between straight and gay. It basically claims that, "Oh, they really, really love each other! But not like that." It draws an arbitrary line in the sand--as if a line was necessary--and uses this jokey word to point at the appearance of gay, only to reassure you that it's not really gay, don't worry, you're still safe in heterosexual waters.

I suppose "bromance" is no different from the historical "romantic friendship"--it's just an updating of terminology. On one hand, the reemergence of romantic friendships (in media, in RL) could point to society's easing up on gay panic, but OTOH it's still a form of protesting, "We're not gay, really

[farewellojoys]

[sneaking in to <3 your icon]

[rose71]

It basically claims that, "Oh, they really, really love each other! But not like that." It draws an arbitrary line in the sand
Yes! You put that so well. By the way, I think "romantic friendship" may be even more similar than you suggest here. As far as I can see, the term is a 20th-century invention, which writers and scholars started using to define relationships that were passionate but not like that. Then the term was more recently recuperated by feminist and queer historians to point to the flexibility of same-sex love in earlier periods. But I've never seen "romantic friendship" used in pre-20th century texts as a label to draw those kinds of boundaries--it would just be "love" or "friendship."

/random intrusion of my academic research/

[insomniac_tales]

See, I've never really seen the term bromance as derogatory. To me, in the ways that I use it, it's different from friendship. It's like... a step above friendship and a step to the left of romance. It's an entirely different kind of bond between two men.

Seeing as how my brother has had several bromances I feel like I've seen it first hand. To my thinking there needs to be a "femme-mance" equivalent. I could be wrong, but as I see it's just another way to express the many layers and different types of love.

[pocky_slash]

I'm mostly annoyed with the vaguely homophobic connotations that Hollywood has put on it. As an idea--a relationship between two men who love each other but aren't interested in each other sexually--I have no problem with it and, in fact, encourage it. It's when it's put into practice in mass media that it starts to bother me. All these movies about two dudes who love each other--BUT NOT LIKE THAT BECAUSE, EW, LOVING OTHER DUDES LIKE THAT IS GROSS! The constant implication that "see, it's okay to love other men--as long as you're not fucking them, because that is disgusting" and the way gay scares are used for laughs in those sort of movies... it just generally leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

[riverdresses]

I get annoyed by this word too - mostly because, & this might sound weird, but it just seems so forced, to me. That & the term 'girl-crush', at least when I see it used in the mainstream.
& for me, I wish Cosmo would stop using those fucking words! Irritating as hell in fannish circles, but when I see it in magazines, it bugs me even more.

[lady_blue_peach]

"Bromance" Luv the word...lol

[ruecian]

Off topic: When is the next writing chat?

[pocky_slash]

I hadn't thought about it! Now that you've mentioned it, I will begin to think about it!

♥