Getting Caught 7/8
Title: Getting Caught (Chapter 7/8)
Authors:
the9thdoctor and
leofuller
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: 15ish
Spoilers: Season 2 up to 'Sleeper' only. Inspired by one of Ianto's lines in that episode.
Summary:
It was SUPPOSED to have been a joke, just a passing comment to lighten the mood... but then Gwen had gone and taken it seriously, and now Ianto has to deal with an overly concerned ex-policewoman, Owen's latest moneymaking scheme, a pack of crazy Weevils and a boss who really shouldn’t be encouraging them all quite so much…
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter VII
Ianto leapt to his feet as the alarm sounded. “What the hell?”
Jack stood up beside him. “If this emergency lasts more than four hours, I'm going to be REALLY pissed off” he muttered, heading back up to the main Hub.
Owen, Tosh and Gwen were crowded around the rift monitor when they arrived. Gwen turned to them, an odd look on her face.
“What's happening?” asked Jack, taking control of the situation immediately.
Tosh tapped a few more buttons on the keyboard and frowned. She had been too busy misusing the CCTV system to keep an eye on Ianto and Jack, and hadn't checked the current readings. She hoped nobody noticed she was still quickly trying to catch up.
“It seems as though there's a problem back at the warehouse - The same one all the Weevils have been turning up in.” she said.
Owen swore. “I'm gonna end up with a bloody Weevil crèche round here. I'm telling you all now, I'm not looking after them all.”
“Don't undersell yourself,” said Ianto. “You'd make a wonderful mother.”
“We can’t keep bringing them in.” Tosh pointed out. “There just isn’t enough space.”
“Good thing I’ve got a Plan B, then, isn’t it.” Owen grabbed his medical kit. “Come on.”
“Toshiko, we really need to know what’s going on in there…” Jack stopped the SUV outside the warehouse.
“There are at least eight Weevils in there. “ Tosh’s voice came back over the comm. “The camera we installed after last time isn’t giving a very clear picture, but I’m patching it through to you now.”
Ianto pulled up the images on the computer in the back of the SUV.
The Weevils on the screen seemed to be milling about.
“Are you sure about this?” asked Gwen as they got out of the car.
Owen shot her a very sarcastic look. “Yes, I'm sure. You know we can't keep going with our first plan - there just isn't enough room, you know that.”
“But aren't we just... well... letting them go?”
Owen shifted the gun on his shoulder. “Stop worrying already...”
“All right Owen, we’ll follow your lead.”
“That’s something I never thought I’d hear Jack say.” Ianto quipped from his seat in the car. Owen turned to object, and then thought about it.
“No, me neither. Come on then, let’s get this over with.”
Taking the first few out was easy, but then the rest of the Weevils got agitated and things got a little more dangerous. Jack and Gwen were using the spray to keep most of the Weevils back, while Owen shot them with tranquiliser darts, one by one. Watching on the computers in the back of the SUV, Ianto could spot a problem.
“Tosh, I’m going in as well. They need another pair of hands.” Ianto grabbed some more Weevil spray and hurried after the others.
“What are you doing here?” Jack yelled, pushing a snarling Weevil back. “You’re supposed to be co-ordinating from the car.”
“The tranquilisers are going to wear off before you get them all at this rate.” Ianto threw a fresh can of Weevil spray to Gwen. “You need to do the shooting so that Owen can get the tracking chips in.”
Looking back at the first Weevil they’d taken out, Jack realised that Ianto was right.
“Owen! Slight change of plan.”
Owen looked up from the prone body of the Weevil he was tagging and immediately noticed that the one that he had tranquilised only a few minutes before was starting to move. “Shit.” he shouted, jumping to his feet, “this stuff shouldn't be wearing off so quickly!”
“Throw me the gun!” shouted Ianto, backing away from the Weevil that was slowly forcing him into a corner. “NOW!”
Owen swung the gun round and fired, just as Gwen made a dash towards Ianto with her can of spray held out. She stumbled, and for a brief, hopeful moment Jack thought she had just tripped on a piece of rubbish. Then he noticed the green dart sticking out of the back of her neck. “Oh, nice work Owen!” he shouted, dashing forward and grabbing the Weevil that was still advancing on Ianto by the neck. “Get the gun off him, Ianto! I don't trust him to take the rest of us out...”
Jack pulled the menacing alien away far enough for Ianto to escape and run towards Owen, who was standing with a slightly guilty expression on his face. The Welshman ripped the tranquiliser gun out of his hands and fired.
The Weevil behind Owen, which had just woken up in a very bad mood, slumped back to the floor. Owen looked down at it in shock, and then back at Ianto.
“Thanks…”
Ianto nodded but didn’t reply.
When Jack returned from carrying Gwen out to the safety of the SUV, Ianto and Owen were working together. Ianto was shooting the Weevils with the tranquiliser, and using the spray to keep the rest of the aliens at bay while Owen tagged them.
“Good job, guys, looks like you don’t really need me.”
Ianto gave him a look that expressed perfectly well his opinion of that idea, and held out the tranquiliser gun to Jack.
“We’ll be here all night at this rate.”
Jack leapt straight into action. “Right! Ianto - spray ‘em, I’ll shoot ‘em, Owen - tag ‘em”
The other two just looked at him.
“That was the plan…”
The original eight Weevils had been tagged and left to recover in the first room, and Jack had insisted in checking out the rest of the warehouse, they dispensed with a few more and came to a large open manhole.
“I guess that's where they're coming from.” said Jack, peering into the hole.
“They should get back down there.” muttered Owen, breathing hard.
Jack gave him a look. “Does that mean you're volunteering for Weevil herding duties?”
“Fuck off.” Owen replied, succinctly.
“If we lock the door to the warehouse, they might go back voluntarily.” offered Ianto.
Jack grinned. “I like a man with a good head on his shoulders.”
Ianto refused to rise to the bait.
“Have you two QUITE finished?” demanded Owen, testily. “Only Gwen got knocked out with enough dope to drop a Weevil and I should go and make sure she's alright.”
Jack stood up and brushed the grit off of his knees. “You know, Owen, if you wanted her unconscious at your mercy, I can think of more subtle ways of doing it...”
Owen repeated his earlier sentiments.
Back at the Hub, Jack checked through the report that Tosh had written based on the footage from the warehouse, and made a few alterations. Tosh went home as soon as they’d finished, and Jack went to look for Ianto. He found him checking the supplies they’d used that evening, and making lists of things they needed to stock up on. Jack leant on Ianto’s desk.
“Jack?” Jack swore under his breath when Owen called to him from the medical bay, and went to see how Gwen was doing. Ianto bit back a smile.
“She’s fine, if a little groggy. No damage done, but I recommend taking the day off tomorrow.”
“Whatever you say, doctor.” Jack was desperate to have the Hub - and Ianto - to himself. Owen looked slightly puzzled.
“So, I’ll take Gwen home then…”
“No.” Gwen mumbled from the examination table where she was sitting.
“You need to go home, Gwen…” Jack took a few steps towards her.
“Not Owen.”
“Why not?” Owen protested.
“Shot me…”
Jack couldn’t help laughing.
“That was an accident!” Owen complained.
“I’ll take Gwen home. It’s on my way.” Ianto volunteered. Jack stopped laughing. “I promise not to shoot her.”
Not only could Jack not see any way of stopping Ianto from taking Gwen home without making things really obvious, but he couldn’t get Ianto on his own before they left. Owen had stormed off in a huff, leaving Ianto and Jack to walk Gwen to the car. Jack helped her into the passenger seat and closed the door, looking across the top of the vehicle to where Ianto was standing.
“You did well tonight, Ianto.”
“Thanks Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jack stomped into his office, feeling annoyingly like a small child denied his favourite toy. Ianto had all but promised him some *time* together if they had had any time alone tonight. And then those bloody Weevils had to go crazy, and Owen had to be such a terrible shot and Ianto had to go and play the knight in shining armour.
Tonight was not shaping up to be one of Jack's all time favourites.
It took Jack half an hour before he didn't feel like kicking out at the furniture. Eventually, he sat down and pulled Owen's list out of his desk drawer, mentally ticking off the situations and locations that he and Ianto had already set up.
Jack was looking forward to Owen discovering Ianto's school tie, complete with worrying dribble of strawberry flavour lubricant in the mortuary drawer he usually reserved for dead Weevils. He had even arranged the CCTV to best record the moment. It would serve him right for creating the bloody scheme in the first place, even though Jack still found it almost depressing that everyone else seemed to think that he and Ianto were up to such wonderfully kinky things, when in reality Jack hadn't really even kissed him all that many times.
Jack folded his arms and glared at the list. He had already told Ianto a hell of a lot more about himself than he had ever thought he would tell anyone and that had been purely because the young Welshman had asked him to. If it had been anyone else, just a random pick-up in a bar, Jack would have ignored the request outright, or come up with a plausible cover story depending on how cute they were. Ianto was different somehow - he already suspected a lot more about Jack than anyone had done since he had left the Doctor - and Jack had found that he just couldn't bear to lie to him. Sure, there had been a few things that had been diplomatically glossed over, but he had told the man the truth.
Jack snorted with laughter. Only 140 years ago he would have refused to believe someone had they told him he would one day spill all his secrets to a 21st century Welshman in return for a cup of coffee and the sight of a well-filled suit. There was something so... wonderful about it. He couldn't deny Ianto anything - even if he never gave Jack what he wanted, Jack decided he wouldn't mind all that much. Spending time with the man was all he really needed...
He closed his eyes. Spending time with Ianto was all well and good, and he was REALLY trying not to feel shallow and driven purely by his hormones here, but if he didn't see Ianto out of that infernal suit soon, he was going to get really, really annoyed.
“It doesn’t count if you can’t prove it. Those are the rules.” Owen folded his arms.
Tosh glared at him.
“How else would this lot have got into the ladies’ toilet?” They both looked at the items Tosh had put on Owen’s desk.
“Is that a real fireman’s helmet?”
“I think so.”
It was still wet.
Tosh prodded the helmet with her pen. “I just want to know why they couldn't use the Gents...” she said, mournfully. “I'll never be able to shower in there again.”
Owen looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “You think THAT'S bad?” he said, “You want me to tell you why I need a new autoclave?”
Tosh winced. “I think I’d rather not know…”
There was a moment’s quiet while they both thought about the things they’d been finding recently.
“I wonder where they are right now?”
Ianto was busy in the ‘F’s, sorting out a stack of documents which had been misfiled by previous team members, when he became aware that he was not alone in the archives. There were soft footsteps from behind some of the shelving.
At first, Ianto thought that Jack had followed him down to the archives, but he’d left the captain on the telephone to Whitehall and those conversations tended to drag. Plus Jack wasn’t really the lurking type.
That left two options. Either there was a hostile in the Hub, which for some reason was choosing to stalk the archivist through the filing rooms instead of going for the interesting technologies stored elsewhere, or one of his colleagues was spying on him.
Ianto slotted the last file back into the Fa-Fi cabinet and closed the drawer. He moved decisively to the door, noting the trainer visible below the shelves which separated ‘G’ from ‘H’, flicked out the light - which plunged the underground room into total darkness - and left, allowing the door to close behind him.
He didn’t lock the door, figuring that Owen would make enough mess trying to find the exit as it was.
Jack ended the call and dropped the handset. If one more idiot politician called him to ask if he had a death ray he was going to scream.
He leant back slightly in his chair, peering into the main Hub. He had noticed that Tosh had taken her sweater off, despite the chill in the air. She had thrown... no, 'artfully arranged' would be closer the mark... it over something that looked rather familiar.
Jack hoped she wouldn't throw it away. He would rather not have to break into the fire station to find another one, no matter how fetching Ianto would look in it.
As he watched, Ianto swept into the room, holding a piece of paper and attempting to keep a smug grin from his face. It wasn't working too well.
“Where's Owen?” asked Tosh.
“Helping with the filing.” Ianto replied, archly, heading for Jack's office.
Tosh lasted exactly twelve and a half minutes before she followed him.
The door was firmly closed, and the blinds were closed. Tosh could hear Jack’s voice, and Ianto’s softer replies, but not clearly enough to make out any words. They were up to something…
They were up to something, and Tosh was going to catch them, and she was going to wipe that smug smile off Owen’s face.
And then she was going to offer to buy him a drink with her winnings.
Gathering her courage, Tosh knocked on the door and started to open it. There was a scrambling sound.
“Can you give me two minutes, please?” Jack called out.
Tosh grinned. “Okay.” She went back to her desk, keeping a close eye on the office.
Ianto appeared disappointingly quickly, looking as immaculate as ever.
“Do you want a coffee?” He asked, already on his way to the kitchen.
“Er, yes please.”
“Jack’s free now.”
“Thanks.”
Tosh approached the office warily.
“Jack?”
“Toshiko! Come on in. Sorry, I was just in the middle of something before.”
Tosh just stared.
“Jack…”
“What?”
“You’ve got your shirt on inside out…”
Jack looked down at himself. “Oh yes. So I do...” he said, mildly, shuffling some paperwork. “What can I do for you, Tosh?”
Tosh glanced round the room, searching for anything out of place and trying to think of a good excuse. “I, um... I’m writing a report, I was looking for an article on....” she tailed off as she noticed the corner of a magazine sticking out from under a copy of the latest UNIT directives. It looked like a good bet. “Ah, here it is!” she said, grabbing the file and uncovering a copy of People Management. ”Oh.”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Why do you need a report on age discrimination in the workplace?”
“Err… EU directives.” Tosh replied, and fled.
“So.” Owen wrapped his hands around his coffee mug and leant against the desk. “What have we got?”
“Jack with his shirt on inside out, and a damn fireman’s helmet.” Tosh listed.
“A tie and something sticky and artificially scented in the autopsy room.”
“Jack’s braces were in the SUV yesterday.”
“Ultrasound gel down by the Weevil cells.”
“Urgh.”
“I know…”
“Ianto gave everybody the wrong coffees yesterday afternoon.”
Owen blinked. “He DID?”
Tosh nodded, “He gave me a mochaccino.” she confided.
“Wow...”
“I've tried getting the footage back, but whatever they've done to it, it's gone for good. I think we might have to admit defeat...”
Owen shook his head, “This is giving me a headache.” he replied, standing up. “Coming for a drink?”
“So… place to ourselves?” Jack leant in the kitchen doorway, watching Ianto stacking the dishwasher..
“Have the others gone already?” Ianto dropped the last teaspoon in and closed the door.
“It’s after five…”
Ianto swore softly and glanced at his watch. “I’ve got to go.”
“Please tell me you're joking.”
Ianto picked up his coat. “Afraid not, it's cousin Meredith's birthday. Big party...”
“You're gonna be the death of me one of these days, Ianto Jones.” Sighed Jack without a trace of irony.
Ianto leant forward, kissing Jack softly on the lips. “Tomorrow. I promise.” he whispered, before walking away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 8
And for those of you who are interested, we proudly present :
Owen's List
Authors:
the9thdoctor and
leofuller
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: 15ish
Spoilers: Season 2 up to 'Sleeper' only. Inspired by one of Ianto's lines in that episode.
Summary:
It was SUPPOSED to have been a joke, just a passing comment to lighten the mood... but then Gwen had gone and taken it seriously, and now Ianto has to deal with an overly concerned ex-policewoman, Owen's latest moneymaking scheme, a pack of crazy Weevils and a boss who really shouldn’t be encouraging them all quite so much…
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter VII
Ianto leapt to his feet as the alarm sounded. “What the hell?”
Jack stood up beside him. “If this emergency lasts more than four hours, I'm going to be REALLY pissed off” he muttered, heading back up to the main Hub.
Owen, Tosh and Gwen were crowded around the rift monitor when they arrived. Gwen turned to them, an odd look on her face.
“What's happening?” asked Jack, taking control of the situation immediately.
Tosh tapped a few more buttons on the keyboard and frowned. She had been too busy misusing the CCTV system to keep an eye on Ianto and Jack, and hadn't checked the current readings. She hoped nobody noticed she was still quickly trying to catch up.
“It seems as though there's a problem back at the warehouse - The same one all the Weevils have been turning up in.” she said.
Owen swore. “I'm gonna end up with a bloody Weevil crèche round here. I'm telling you all now, I'm not looking after them all.”
“Don't undersell yourself,” said Ianto. “You'd make a wonderful mother.”
“We can’t keep bringing them in.” Tosh pointed out. “There just isn’t enough space.”
“Good thing I’ve got a Plan B, then, isn’t it.” Owen grabbed his medical kit. “Come on.”
“Toshiko, we really need to know what’s going on in there…” Jack stopped the SUV outside the warehouse.
“There are at least eight Weevils in there. “ Tosh’s voice came back over the comm. “The camera we installed after last time isn’t giving a very clear picture, but I’m patching it through to you now.”
Ianto pulled up the images on the computer in the back of the SUV.
The Weevils on the screen seemed to be milling about.
“Are you sure about this?” asked Gwen as they got out of the car.
Owen shot her a very sarcastic look. “Yes, I'm sure. You know we can't keep going with our first plan - there just isn't enough room, you know that.”
“But aren't we just... well... letting them go?”
Owen shifted the gun on his shoulder. “Stop worrying already...”
“All right Owen, we’ll follow your lead.”
“That’s something I never thought I’d hear Jack say.” Ianto quipped from his seat in the car. Owen turned to object, and then thought about it.
“No, me neither. Come on then, let’s get this over with.”
Taking the first few out was easy, but then the rest of the Weevils got agitated and things got a little more dangerous. Jack and Gwen were using the spray to keep most of the Weevils back, while Owen shot them with tranquiliser darts, one by one. Watching on the computers in the back of the SUV, Ianto could spot a problem.
“Tosh, I’m going in as well. They need another pair of hands.” Ianto grabbed some more Weevil spray and hurried after the others.
“What are you doing here?” Jack yelled, pushing a snarling Weevil back. “You’re supposed to be co-ordinating from the car.”
“The tranquilisers are going to wear off before you get them all at this rate.” Ianto threw a fresh can of Weevil spray to Gwen. “You need to do the shooting so that Owen can get the tracking chips in.”
Looking back at the first Weevil they’d taken out, Jack realised that Ianto was right.
“Owen! Slight change of plan.”
Owen looked up from the prone body of the Weevil he was tagging and immediately noticed that the one that he had tranquilised only a few minutes before was starting to move. “Shit.” he shouted, jumping to his feet, “this stuff shouldn't be wearing off so quickly!”
“Throw me the gun!” shouted Ianto, backing away from the Weevil that was slowly forcing him into a corner. “NOW!”
Owen swung the gun round and fired, just as Gwen made a dash towards Ianto with her can of spray held out. She stumbled, and for a brief, hopeful moment Jack thought she had just tripped on a piece of rubbish. Then he noticed the green dart sticking out of the back of her neck. “Oh, nice work Owen!” he shouted, dashing forward and grabbing the Weevil that was still advancing on Ianto by the neck. “Get the gun off him, Ianto! I don't trust him to take the rest of us out...”
Jack pulled the menacing alien away far enough for Ianto to escape and run towards Owen, who was standing with a slightly guilty expression on his face. The Welshman ripped the tranquiliser gun out of his hands and fired.
The Weevil behind Owen, which had just woken up in a very bad mood, slumped back to the floor. Owen looked down at it in shock, and then back at Ianto.
“Thanks…”
Ianto nodded but didn’t reply.
When Jack returned from carrying Gwen out to the safety of the SUV, Ianto and Owen were working together. Ianto was shooting the Weevils with the tranquiliser, and using the spray to keep the rest of the aliens at bay while Owen tagged them.
“Good job, guys, looks like you don’t really need me.”
Ianto gave him a look that expressed perfectly well his opinion of that idea, and held out the tranquiliser gun to Jack.
“We’ll be here all night at this rate.”
Jack leapt straight into action. “Right! Ianto - spray ‘em, I’ll shoot ‘em, Owen - tag ‘em”
The other two just looked at him.
“That was the plan…”
The original eight Weevils had been tagged and left to recover in the first room, and Jack had insisted in checking out the rest of the warehouse, they dispensed with a few more and came to a large open manhole.
“I guess that's where they're coming from.” said Jack, peering into the hole.
“They should get back down there.” muttered Owen, breathing hard.
Jack gave him a look. “Does that mean you're volunteering for Weevil herding duties?”
“Fuck off.” Owen replied, succinctly.
“If we lock the door to the warehouse, they might go back voluntarily.” offered Ianto.
Jack grinned. “I like a man with a good head on his shoulders.”
Ianto refused to rise to the bait.
“Have you two QUITE finished?” demanded Owen, testily. “Only Gwen got knocked out with enough dope to drop a Weevil and I should go and make sure she's alright.”
Jack stood up and brushed the grit off of his knees. “You know, Owen, if you wanted her unconscious at your mercy, I can think of more subtle ways of doing it...”
Owen repeated his earlier sentiments.
Back at the Hub, Jack checked through the report that Tosh had written based on the footage from the warehouse, and made a few alterations. Tosh went home as soon as they’d finished, and Jack went to look for Ianto. He found him checking the supplies they’d used that evening, and making lists of things they needed to stock up on. Jack leant on Ianto’s desk.
“Jack?” Jack swore under his breath when Owen called to him from the medical bay, and went to see how Gwen was doing. Ianto bit back a smile.
“She’s fine, if a little groggy. No damage done, but I recommend taking the day off tomorrow.”
“Whatever you say, doctor.” Jack was desperate to have the Hub - and Ianto - to himself. Owen looked slightly puzzled.
“So, I’ll take Gwen home then…”
“No.” Gwen mumbled from the examination table where she was sitting.
“You need to go home, Gwen…” Jack took a few steps towards her.
“Not Owen.”
“Why not?” Owen protested.
“Shot me…”
Jack couldn’t help laughing.
“That was an accident!” Owen complained.
“I’ll take Gwen home. It’s on my way.” Ianto volunteered. Jack stopped laughing. “I promise not to shoot her.”
Not only could Jack not see any way of stopping Ianto from taking Gwen home without making things really obvious, but he couldn’t get Ianto on his own before they left. Owen had stormed off in a huff, leaving Ianto and Jack to walk Gwen to the car. Jack helped her into the passenger seat and closed the door, looking across the top of the vehicle to where Ianto was standing.
“You did well tonight, Ianto.”
“Thanks Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jack stomped into his office, feeling annoyingly like a small child denied his favourite toy. Ianto had all but promised him some *time* together if they had had any time alone tonight. And then those bloody Weevils had to go crazy, and Owen had to be such a terrible shot and Ianto had to go and play the knight in shining armour.
Tonight was not shaping up to be one of Jack's all time favourites.
It took Jack half an hour before he didn't feel like kicking out at the furniture. Eventually, he sat down and pulled Owen's list out of his desk drawer, mentally ticking off the situations and locations that he and Ianto had already set up.
Jack was looking forward to Owen discovering Ianto's school tie, complete with worrying dribble of strawberry flavour lubricant in the mortuary drawer he usually reserved for dead Weevils. He had even arranged the CCTV to best record the moment. It would serve him right for creating the bloody scheme in the first place, even though Jack still found it almost depressing that everyone else seemed to think that he and Ianto were up to such wonderfully kinky things, when in reality Jack hadn't really even kissed him all that many times.
Jack folded his arms and glared at the list. He had already told Ianto a hell of a lot more about himself than he had ever thought he would tell anyone and that had been purely because the young Welshman had asked him to. If it had been anyone else, just a random pick-up in a bar, Jack would have ignored the request outright, or come up with a plausible cover story depending on how cute they were. Ianto was different somehow - he already suspected a lot more about Jack than anyone had done since he had left the Doctor - and Jack had found that he just couldn't bear to lie to him. Sure, there had been a few things that had been diplomatically glossed over, but he had told the man the truth.
Jack snorted with laughter. Only 140 years ago he would have refused to believe someone had they told him he would one day spill all his secrets to a 21st century Welshman in return for a cup of coffee and the sight of a well-filled suit. There was something so... wonderful about it. He couldn't deny Ianto anything - even if he never gave Jack what he wanted, Jack decided he wouldn't mind all that much. Spending time with the man was all he really needed...
He closed his eyes. Spending time with Ianto was all well and good, and he was REALLY trying not to feel shallow and driven purely by his hormones here, but if he didn't see Ianto out of that infernal suit soon, he was going to get really, really annoyed.
“It doesn’t count if you can’t prove it. Those are the rules.” Owen folded his arms.
Tosh glared at him.
“How else would this lot have got into the ladies’ toilet?” They both looked at the items Tosh had put on Owen’s desk.
“Is that a real fireman’s helmet?”
“I think so.”
It was still wet.
Tosh prodded the helmet with her pen. “I just want to know why they couldn't use the Gents...” she said, mournfully. “I'll never be able to shower in there again.”
Owen looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “You think THAT'S bad?” he said, “You want me to tell you why I need a new autoclave?”
Tosh winced. “I think I’d rather not know…”
There was a moment’s quiet while they both thought about the things they’d been finding recently.
“I wonder where they are right now?”
Ianto was busy in the ‘F’s, sorting out a stack of documents which had been misfiled by previous team members, when he became aware that he was not alone in the archives. There were soft footsteps from behind some of the shelving.
At first, Ianto thought that Jack had followed him down to the archives, but he’d left the captain on the telephone to Whitehall and those conversations tended to drag. Plus Jack wasn’t really the lurking type.
That left two options. Either there was a hostile in the Hub, which for some reason was choosing to stalk the archivist through the filing rooms instead of going for the interesting technologies stored elsewhere, or one of his colleagues was spying on him.
Ianto slotted the last file back into the Fa-Fi cabinet and closed the drawer. He moved decisively to the door, noting the trainer visible below the shelves which separated ‘G’ from ‘H’, flicked out the light - which plunged the underground room into total darkness - and left, allowing the door to close behind him.
He didn’t lock the door, figuring that Owen would make enough mess trying to find the exit as it was.
Jack ended the call and dropped the handset. If one more idiot politician called him to ask if he had a death ray he was going to scream.
He leant back slightly in his chair, peering into the main Hub. He had noticed that Tosh had taken her sweater off, despite the chill in the air. She had thrown... no, 'artfully arranged' would be closer the mark... it over something that looked rather familiar.
Jack hoped she wouldn't throw it away. He would rather not have to break into the fire station to find another one, no matter how fetching Ianto would look in it.
As he watched, Ianto swept into the room, holding a piece of paper and attempting to keep a smug grin from his face. It wasn't working too well.
“Where's Owen?” asked Tosh.
“Helping with the filing.” Ianto replied, archly, heading for Jack's office.
Tosh lasted exactly twelve and a half minutes before she followed him.
The door was firmly closed, and the blinds were closed. Tosh could hear Jack’s voice, and Ianto’s softer replies, but not clearly enough to make out any words. They were up to something…
They were up to something, and Tosh was going to catch them, and she was going to wipe that smug smile off Owen’s face.
And then she was going to offer to buy him a drink with her winnings.
Gathering her courage, Tosh knocked on the door and started to open it. There was a scrambling sound.
“Can you give me two minutes, please?” Jack called out.
Tosh grinned. “Okay.” She went back to her desk, keeping a close eye on the office.
Ianto appeared disappointingly quickly, looking as immaculate as ever.
“Do you want a coffee?” He asked, already on his way to the kitchen.
“Er, yes please.”
“Jack’s free now.”
“Thanks.”
Tosh approached the office warily.
“Jack?”
“Toshiko! Come on in. Sorry, I was just in the middle of something before.”
Tosh just stared.
“Jack…”
“What?”
“You’ve got your shirt on inside out…”
Jack looked down at himself. “Oh yes. So I do...” he said, mildly, shuffling some paperwork. “What can I do for you, Tosh?”
Tosh glanced round the room, searching for anything out of place and trying to think of a good excuse. “I, um... I’m writing a report, I was looking for an article on....” she tailed off as she noticed the corner of a magazine sticking out from under a copy of the latest UNIT directives. It looked like a good bet. “Ah, here it is!” she said, grabbing the file and uncovering a copy of People Management. ”Oh.”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Why do you need a report on age discrimination in the workplace?”
“Err… EU directives.” Tosh replied, and fled.
“So.” Owen wrapped his hands around his coffee mug and leant against the desk. “What have we got?”
“Jack with his shirt on inside out, and a damn fireman’s helmet.” Tosh listed.
“A tie and something sticky and artificially scented in the autopsy room.”
“Jack’s braces were in the SUV yesterday.”
“Ultrasound gel down by the Weevil cells.”
“Urgh.”
“I know…”
“Ianto gave everybody the wrong coffees yesterday afternoon.”
Owen blinked. “He DID?”
Tosh nodded, “He gave me a mochaccino.” she confided.
“Wow...”
“I've tried getting the footage back, but whatever they've done to it, it's gone for good. I think we might have to admit defeat...”
Owen shook his head, “This is giving me a headache.” he replied, standing up. “Coming for a drink?”
“So… place to ourselves?” Jack leant in the kitchen doorway, watching Ianto stacking the dishwasher..
“Have the others gone already?” Ianto dropped the last teaspoon in and closed the door.
“It’s after five…”
Ianto swore softly and glanced at his watch. “I’ve got to go.”
“Please tell me you're joking.”
Ianto picked up his coat. “Afraid not, it's cousin Meredith's birthday. Big party...”
“You're gonna be the death of me one of these days, Ianto Jones.” Sighed Jack without a trace of irony.
Ianto leant forward, kissing Jack softly on the lips. “Tomorrow. I promise.” he whispered, before walking away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 8
And for those of you who are interested, we proudly present :
Owen's List