Getting Caught 8/8
Title: Getting Caught (Chapter 8/8)
Authors:
the9thdoctor and
leofuller
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: 15ish
Spoilers: Season 2 up to 'Sleeper' only. Inspired by one of Ianto's lines in that episode.
Summary:
It was SUPPOSED to have been a joke, just a passing comment to lighten the mood... but then Gwen had gone and taken it seriously, and now Ianto has to deal with an overly concerned ex-policewoman, Owen's latest moneymaking scheme, a pack of crazy Weevils and a boss who really shouldn’t be encouraging them all quite so much…
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter VIII
Jack hadn't slept. He'd tried, really, he'd tried, but all that happened was that he spent a few hours lying in bed thinking that there was a whole world of better things he could be doing. Eventually Jack got up, cursed Ianto's cousin Meredith, and poked around in the archives for a while.
Slightly after half past five in the morning he was disturbed from his serious consideration of an Ionian telepathic wave-form circuit by a loud siren.
Jack swore. The last thing they needed was a visit from an Arkan leisure cruiser. He could really do without a four hour long discussion about the local weather patterns on top of everything else.
He dug his mobile out of his pocket and started texting the rest of the team. His finger hovered for a while over Ianto's name, wondering if he should send the message.
“So, what’s the emergency that’s got us all out of bed at…” Owen checked his watch. “ten past seven?”
“Hey, I gave you guys a lie in. The sensors picked this thing up before six.”
“Well that makes all the difference…” Owen grumbled.
“We’ve got visitors. They’re not dangerous, they just want a bit of a chat.”
“And why do we have to do this?”
Jack sighed.
“Because they’re tourists, and they’re determined to talk to the locals. And I’d rather that was us than some terrified farmers.”
“Farmers?” Owen folded his arms. “I don’t like the sound of this…”
“Well I could hardly tell them to land on the Plass, could I? We’re going on a little drive…”
“How little…?”
“Oh, only a couple of hours.”
“Why do we need two cars?” Tosh asked, waving to Gwen who had just arrived.
“In case something comes up back in Cardiff and we need to split up. Ianto’s staying here to keep an eye on things.” Jack opened the door to the SUV. “Who’s with me?”
Owen raised a lazy hand. “Go on then, might as well...”
“Great, so that's me and Owen, and then Tosh and Gwen in the car. You can have a girlie chat.”
Gwen raised an eyebrow, “If you think I'm capable of talking about hair and makeup at seven o'clock in the morning while driving a car, you have another think coming.”
Jack laughed, “Yeah, and I've got to put up with Owen's hangover, I think you've got the best deal.”
“Oi!” shouted Owen, “Can we just bloody well go already? The sooner I'm back in bed, the better.”
“Seconded.” called Tosh, opening the car door and yawning loudly.
“Don’t fall asleep. I need you to talk to me, keep me awake.” Gwen warned as they pulled out into the traffic.
“I’ll do you a deal - don’t try to keep up with Jack’s driving, and I’ll be as chatty as you like.” Tosh retuned the radio to a station which was playing mostly chart hits, and turned the volume down a bit.
“Deal.”
They stuck to small talk while Gwen navigated the Cardiff rush hour, so it wasn’t until they were clear of the city on the A470 that Tosh brought up the subject of the list.
“I found a fireman’s helmet in the ladies showers while you were off.” She remarked.
Gwen bit back a comment about Owen before the reference fell into place. “Really?”
Tosh nodded. “And Owen found something in one of the mortuary drawers...”
Gwen laughed. “I was going to talk to you about that...”
Tosh looked up. “You've heard?”
“I, uh, saw something the other night...”
“You know it's not legitimate if Owen and I haven't seen the proof.”
“It wasn't like that.” Sighed Gwen. “I was down in the archives...”
Tosh interrupted her, “Which section?” she asked, pulling out her copy of the list.
“A-I. But that’s not the point…”
“What were they doing?” Tosh wrote ‘GC’ in pencil next to location # 34.
“Just talking.”
Tosh scanned down the list. “That’s not on here…”
“I know! I said it wasn’t like that!”
Tosh put the list away. “Is this more about Jack bullying Ianto into doing… things?”
“No. Listen, I was down in the archives, because… err…”
“Because you were following them.”
Gwen glanced at Tosh and grinned, then returned her eyes to the road. “Yeah, okay, so I was following them. Anyway, they were sitting on the floor, out of sight of the CCTV camera…”
“I knew it! They were hiding…” Tosh realised that she’d given herself away, and looked sheepish.
“ANYWAY, they were just talking, and Jack was being really sweet to Ianto.”
“So you don’t think he’s bullying him?”
“No. But I think we might be…”
“What do you mean?”
“They know we’re watching them. And it’s really bothering Ianto.”
“I have never been so bored in my life.” Owen slumped against the side of the SUV, watching Gwen and Tosh talking to the aliens.
“They are pretty dull.” Jack agreed.
“They’ve been talking about the weather for thirty five minutes.”
“Rain is a novelty to these guys.”
“Can’t we do this in the pub?”
“Not a good idea.”
“Really?”
“You don’t want to see what happens if they come into contact with alcohol…”
Owen looked quite interested until he saw the expression on Jack's face. He sighed, “How long does it take to tell them to bugger off, anyway?”
“You can't exactly tell them to 'bugger off', Owen...”
“I bet I could.”
“Yes, and then they'd ask you what that meant, and you'd be left explaining the concept of sodomy to members of an alien race that are asexual and mostly liquid... Good luck with that.”
Owen was silent for a few minutes as he considered this. Eventually, he said, “Remind me again why you thought this would take four of us.”
“Because they are a friendly alien species. It's purely intergalactic courtesy...”
“Fine...” Owen cast around for another topic of conversation. “So... uh, you and Ianto, eh?”
“No thanks to you guys.” Jack leant on the car next to Owen.
Owen turned to look at Jack. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not exactly subtle with your spying, you know.”
“Spying?” Owen did a pretty good job at sounding insulted, but Jack wasn't fooled.
“What else would you call it?” he asked, leaning on the bonnet of the SUV. “You and Tosh, bursting into the office when we're in there on ridiculous pretences, changing the CCTV setup... It's a little childish, to be honest. And the less said about that list, the better...”
Owen turned an impressive shade of red. “Well, uh, that was...” he stuttered. Jack was impressed - he'd never seen Owen lost for words before. “Oh, look, the girls are back!”
Jack shook his head, and opened the car door. “Everything Ok?”
“Yeah, they're leaving now... Just took a few bags of soil and a sample of the local flora.” Tosh smiled.
Jack laughed, “My minor genetic donor went to Earth and all I got was this lousy bunch of Daffodils?”
Nobody else laughed.
“Can we go home now?” Owen asked. “Please?”
“Tell you what, you guys go and grab some lunch, I’ll head straight back to Cardiff and check that everything’s okay back at the Hub.”
“Nice one!” Owen pushed himself upright, away from the SUV, and headed for the other vehicle. “Anywhere in particular, girls?”
“There was a nice looking pub a few miles back…” Tosh suggested as she climbed into the back of the car.
Jack jumped into the SUV and turned it towards Cardiff. Somehow, he didn’t think that the team would be too far behind him.
Ianto looked up in surprise from the file he was reading when Jack swept into the tourist office and closed the door behind him.
“It went well, then?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Dramatic entrance. Usually an indicator of success in the field.”
“Well, we sent them on their way happy.” Jack locked the external door and turned the sign to ‘closed’.
“What are you doing?” Ianto closed the file and laid it on the desk.
“Celebrating.” Jack bounded around the desk and pulled Ianto to his feet. “The others have gone out for lunch. It’s just you and me…” He manoeuvred himself into Ianto’s personal space. “Wanna help me celebrate?”
Ianto couldn’t help glancing towards the door. Jack sighed.
“What do I have to do?”
“I’m sorry.” Ianto took a step backwards, away from Jack. “I’m just paranoid now, waiting for one of them to pop up and catch us.”
“Ianto…” Jack took a step forward, closing the gap between them. Ianto took two steps backward.
“I’m sorry…” Ianto looked away.
Jack made an exasperated sound in the back of his throat. “Right. I’ve had enough of this. Come with me.” He grabbed Ianto’s hand and dragged him towards the door into the hub.
“Stand there.” Jack left Ianto standing by Gwen’s desk, and went over to Tosh’s station. He accessed the CCTV, and adjusted the cameras to focus on where Ianto was waiting, looking a little nervous and clutching the file he’d been reading upstairs, which he’d grabbed as Jack pulled him out of the tourist office. Jack smiled. Trust Ianto not to leave a classified file in a locked office, just in case…
“Right.” Jack bounded back to Ianto and carefully removed the file from his grasp, laying it on Gwen’s desk.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re worried about being watched?”
Ianto nodded.
“If they want to catch us, let them!”
“What?”
“Let them get what they want. And then they’ll leave us alone, and we can get what we want…”
Ianto looked around at the cameras. “I…”
“Do you trust me?” Jack asked, stopping directly in front of Ianto and catching his gaze.
“Completely.”
“Then don’t think about the cameras. Don’t think about the others. Focus on me.” Jack’s voice was soft, and Ianto found himself leaning forwards to hear him. Jack leant across the little distance remaining between them and brushed a soft kiss across Ianto’s lips. “Focus on me.” He repeated in a whisper, moving in again for another kiss.
Ianto gasped slightly, even though Jack's actions weren't a surprise. His hands went up automatically to cradle the back of Jack's head, his thumb brushing across his hairline. Jack in return reached for Ianto, gently pulling the Welshman towards him. His hands slipped lower and lower on Ianto's back, reaching under the other man's suit jacket and untucking his shirt from his waistband.
“Jack...” muttered Ianto, tipping his head back to lose contact with Jack's lips.
“Shh.. ”Jack, recapturing them. There was nothing on the face of the planet, or even off it, that could make Jack want to break the kiss. The world could come crashing down around them and Jack knew he wouldn't care as long as he had Ianto right where he was.
Ianto's hands carded through Jack's hair and as Jack tucked his fingers through Ianto's belt loops, pulling him even closer, Ianto stumbled forwards pushing Jack back against the wall behind him. Ianto moved up against him, one knee coming to rest between Jack's own legs.
Jack slid his hands back around Ianto’s waist, then let them drift lower, pulling Ianto flush against him. Ianto tilted his head away from Jack’s mouth, laying a trail of kisses across Jack’s jaw. Jack drew in a shaky breath as Ianto reached the sensitive spot beneath his ear.
Ianto leaned back to look Jack in the eye.
“Jack…”
Not now. Not when it was going so well. Not when Jack had Ianto *exactly* where he wanted him. Jack tightened his grip and moved in to reclaim the kiss.
Ianto stepped back, grasping Jack’s hand as he moved. “Shall we go somewhere more comfortable?”
Maybe the middle of the hub wasn’t *exactly* where he wanted Ianto, Jack reflected as Ianto practically dragged him across the room. After all, there was a couch in the office, and he had a perfectly good bed downstairs.
He followed Ianto across the Hub, watching in delight as the Welshman dropped his hand and stripped off his jacket, throwing it haphazardly over a nearby chair.
Jack reached out to Ianto again, overwhelmed by the realisation that if Ianto saw fit to remove an item of his impeccably pressed suit and all but hurl it in a heap, then the night was definitely looking up. Jack couldn't hold back a deep groan of desire, which made Ianto turn in the doorway to the office and give Jack one of the dirtiest smiles he had ever seen.
“Ianto...” he breathed, hurrying over. “Oh, the things you do to me...”
At that, Jack found himself captured for another bruising kiss, Ianto holding him against the doorframe and slipping his braces off of his shoulders.
“No, Jack, it's the things I'm going to do to you...”
“Another drink, ladies?” Owen stood up and picked up his empty glass.
“Who’s driving back?” Gwen asked. Owen’s shoulders slumped.
“If I have another drink, you won’t let me drive back, but if you drive, we’ll never get there…”
Gwen looked insulted. “It's my bloody car, you know. I wouldn't let you drive it no matter if you had been on lemonade the whole night.”
“I'd get there before tomorrow night, is all I'm saying.”
“Speed limits are there for a reason, you know…”
“Once a copper, always a copper…” Owen sighed. “Fine. Let’s go back to the Hub.”
“We can go for a drink back in Cardiff, if you like.” Tosh suggested, as they made their way out of the pub and back to the car.
“Don’t you want to head back to the Hub? I thought you’d be rushing back to check the CCTV?”
“Actually, Owen, we wanted to talk to you about that…”
“Oh yeah? Found something good, eh?” said Owen, pulling the door open.
“No... It's Ianto... he, uh, has a problem.”
Owen raised his eyebrow.
"Not that sort of problem..." sighed Gwen, "honestly, Owen..."
“You mean you told him about the list?!” he asked, incredulously.
“No!” tutted Gwen, climbing into the driver's seat as Tosh got into the back. “I happened to overhear a conversation between Jack and Ianto the other day...”
“And…?”
“And they’re on to us. And it’s bothering Ianto. And I don’t think it’s fair to carry on. It’s one thing having a bit of a joke, it’s another thing entirely to mess up their relationship.”
“It’s a relationship, now, is it?”
“I just think we should leave them alone.”
“Okay.” Owen opened the glove box. “Have you got any mints?”
“There should be some gum in there… I was expecting a bit more opposition from you!”
“Something Jack said to me, while you two were gassing with E.T….”
“Really?” asked Tosh, leaning forwards from the back seat. Gwen shot her a look.
“Yeah, he said he pretty much knew all about the list and that it was... well... cramping his style.” Owen replied, unwrapping a stick of gum.
Tosh giggled. “I didn't think anything could cramp Jack's style.”
“I thought he'd be into all that stuff, you know.” mused Owen.
Gwen shook her head. “I don't think that there's ANYONE who could get off on being watched by you, Owen... And anyway, it's more likely to be Ianto who's got a problem with it. He doesn't exactly come across as the sexually adventurous type.”
Owen laughed so hard he almost spat out his gum. “He's fucking Jack. The man's immortal, for Christ's sake... That's pretty bloody adventurous.”
“What’s adventurous about having sex with an immortal?” Tosh asked. “I mean, unless he’s in the process of dying or coming back from the dead, I don’t suppose it makes much difference.”
“Bloody hell, Tosh, I didn’t need that image.”
That pretty much killed the conversation for several miles.
“So…” said Gwen, eventually. “Who’s for taking the afternoon off?”
Both Owen and Tosh raised their hands.
“What shall we do for the rest of the day then?”
Owen shrugged. “Pub?” he offered.
“There's a new movie out I quite fancy.” suggested Tosh. “We could get some dinner, you know, make a day of it...”
“I’m not watching anything girly…” Owen warned.
“How about something with lots of explosions and girls in bikinis?”
“That sounds like my kind of film…”
“Do you think we should ring Jack?” Gwen asked as they got out of the car. “In case we’re needed at work?”
“Nah. He’ll either tell us to come in anyway, or he’ll want to come with us.” Owen started walking towards the cinema.
“What’s wrong with him coming with us?” Tosh hurried to catch up.
“Have you ever been to the cinema with Jack?”
“No…”
“Word of advice - don’t.”
“I still think we should let him know that we’re not coming in…” Gwen protested.
“I bet you’ve never bunked off a day in your life, have you…”
Gwen pulled a face at Owen.
“I’ll text him.” Tosh interrupted hurriedly, before her colleagues got any less mature. “Then he can text me back in an emergency, you guys turn your phones off, and we’ll be fine...”
“…And if he wants to socialise, he can buy us all dinner later.” Owen finished. “Who wants popcorn?”
Tosh’s text message went unread for several hours, until Jack realised that part of his team was missing, and went to retrieve his mobile from the pocket of his trousers.
First, he had to retrieve his trousers from over his lamp, where they had been casting a faint blue glow across his desk. Ianto lay back and regarded him silently from the couch in the corner of the room. Jack grinned and scanned Tosh's message, leaning back on his desk.
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “I hope that wasn't anything important...” he said mildly, “It went off a while ago.”
“Mmm...” Jack grinned, "Right around the time I was...”
“Is it important?” Ianto cut him off.
“Not really. Tosh wanted us to know they weren't coming back, and asks if we want to go out for a meal with them.”
"And do we?" Ianto propped himself up on his elbows.
"Oh, I don't know... It might make my plans for the rest of the evening rather awkward."
"You've got plans?" Ianto sat up slowly, putting one foot on the floor. "I guess I might as well join the others, then..."
Jack took a few steps forward to look down at the man on his couch. "I never know when you're being serious."
"It's all part of the mystery."
Jack snorted with a burst of laughter. "Well then, let me clear up the mystery for you..." he leant forward to whisper against Ianto's ear, "All my plans for the evening involve you, and most of them involve you naked..."
"Only most of them?"
"I didn't think you'd want to drive through Cardiff in the nude."
Ianto gave this a moment's consideration. "Not tonight, no." He stood up, steadying himself with a hand on Jack's waist. "Are we going somewhere, then?"
"Well, I was hoping you'd be a gentleman and invite me home for coffee..."
"Are you going to take me out for dinner first?"
Jack stooped to pick up his discarded shirt. "Do you want to?"
Ianto retrieved his boxer shorts from the floor in front of Jack's desk. "Yes, please. I was about to have lunch when somebody interrupted me..."
"Oh, I'm an interruption now, am I?"
Ianto finished pulling his underwear on and walked over to Jack. "I didn't say it wasn't welcome..." he said softly, leaning in for a kiss.
Jack kissed back, smoothing his hands down Ianto's back. Eventually he pulled away. "You want to call Tosh then? See where they are."
"I thought maybe we could give the others a miss." Ianto found his trousers and turned them the right way out. "Do you know what happened to my shirt? It doesn't seem to be in here..."
Jack gave him a soft smile, "Are you asking me out on a date, Ianto Jones?"
"Well, I'm still waiting for you to follow up on asking ME out..."
"It's a fair cop." Jack replied. "I'll pay, if it'll make you feel better."
Ianto laughed. "Just remember who audits your expenses claims..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know... So, where do you want to go?"
"There's a little Italian place not far from my flat... nice atmosphere, lovely food, and it'll give me the chance to go home and get changed first." Ianto had found his shirt, at the top of the stairs outside Jack's office.
Jack peered down at his own rumpled outfit. "Now that you mention it, that might be a good idea..."
Ianto started to put his shirt on, and realised that several of the buttons were missing. "Do you want to meet me there, or are you going to get changed now?"
"I, uh, should probably get a shower... It might be off-putting to the other diners otherwise. Why don't you give me the address, and I'll meet you there in an hour or so."
"Okay." Ianto located a pen and paper in the mess on Jack's desk, and jotted down the name and address of the restaurant. "I doubt we'll need to book on a Wednesday, but I'll give them a call just in case." He looked up at Jack and smiled. "I don't know why you're still getting dressed if you're about to have a shower..."
Jack shot him a filthy grin. "You know what?" he said, pulling his shirt off again, "Neither do I..."
Ianto swallowed. "You know, I really should get going if we're going out for dinner..." He couldn't help reaching out and touching Jack's bare chest. "I wouldn't be very impressed if you were late on our first date..."
"I'm sure I'd have a very convincing excuse..."
Ianto's stomach rumbled loudly, disrupting the moment. Ianto laughed. "I'll see you at the restaurant." He punctuated his sentence with a kiss. "Seven thirty."
Jack glanced at his watch. "That's one hour, seventeen minutes and counting."
Ianto pulled the stopwatch out of his pocket and set it going. "Don't be late!" With a smile and one last kiss, he made his way out of the office and retrieved his suit jacket from where he had dropped it that afternoon.
Jack watched Ianto walk out of the hub, Waistcoat unbuttoned, tie askew and jacket slung over his shoulder was definitely a good look for him, Jack decided.
He looked around his office and smiled, pulling a piece of paper out of his desk drawer.
'Dear Owen, Tosh and Gwen...'
Owen pulled the sheet of paper down from Jack’s office door.
“…gone out for dinner with Ianto,” he read out loud, “not intending to be back too early tomorrow. Please see attached.”
“What’s attached?” Gwen asked. Owen turned to the second page of Jack’s note.
“This looks familiar…” Owen waved the page at the girls. “It’s the list. He’s ticked some of them off…”
Tosh snatched the list from Owen.
“Locations:” she read. “number one, number five, six, seven and eight. Activities: … he’s ticked them all off! All of them!”
“What about the extras?” Owen asked, leaning over her shoulder to get a better look.
Tosh’s mouth moved silently as she went down the rest of the list, becoming audible as she reached the end. “… 23, 24, 25… He’s added some to the end.”
“Let’s see that!” Owen took the list and looked at the bottom. “The kinky… is number 28 even possible?”
“Oh yes.”
Owen looked at Tosh. “How would you…”
“Long story.”
Gwen had taken the list. “Hey, I had Jack’s desk, and the stairs!”
Tosh and Owen scrambled for the paper.
“I had number five!”
“I had Jack’s office!”
“What about the Activities? I had two, five, eight and twelve!”
“Hang on guys.” Tosh got hold of the list. “I think we’re going to need a calculator…”
~The End~
So, there you go. That's all folks!
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Keep your eyes peeled for more of our fic - we're both working on individual pieces as well as another joint fic, but if you enjoyed this, then don't hesitate to check out our writing journal
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And for those of you who are interested, we proudly present :
Owen's List
Don't forget to have a look at the fabulous list!fic and let the authors know how great they are!
Authors:
the9thdoctor and
leofuller
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: 15ish
Spoilers: Season 2 up to 'Sleeper' only. Inspired by one of Ianto's lines in that episode.
Summary:
It was SUPPOSED to have been a joke, just a passing comment to lighten the mood... but then Gwen had gone and taken it seriously, and now Ianto has to deal with an overly concerned ex-policewoman, Owen's latest moneymaking scheme, a pack of crazy Weevils and a boss who really shouldn’t be encouraging them all quite so much…
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter VIII
Jack hadn't slept. He'd tried, really, he'd tried, but all that happened was that he spent a few hours lying in bed thinking that there was a whole world of better things he could be doing. Eventually Jack got up, cursed Ianto's cousin Meredith, and poked around in the archives for a while.
Slightly after half past five in the morning he was disturbed from his serious consideration of an Ionian telepathic wave-form circuit by a loud siren.
Jack swore. The last thing they needed was a visit from an Arkan leisure cruiser. He could really do without a four hour long discussion about the local weather patterns on top of everything else.
He dug his mobile out of his pocket and started texting the rest of the team. His finger hovered for a while over Ianto's name, wondering if he should send the message.
“So, what’s the emergency that’s got us all out of bed at…” Owen checked his watch. “ten past seven?”
“Hey, I gave you guys a lie in. The sensors picked this thing up before six.”
“Well that makes all the difference…” Owen grumbled.
“We’ve got visitors. They’re not dangerous, they just want a bit of a chat.”
“And why do we have to do this?”
Jack sighed.
“Because they’re tourists, and they’re determined to talk to the locals. And I’d rather that was us than some terrified farmers.”
“Farmers?” Owen folded his arms. “I don’t like the sound of this…”
“Well I could hardly tell them to land on the Plass, could I? We’re going on a little drive…”
“How little…?”
“Oh, only a couple of hours.”
“Why do we need two cars?” Tosh asked, waving to Gwen who had just arrived.
“In case something comes up back in Cardiff and we need to split up. Ianto’s staying here to keep an eye on things.” Jack opened the door to the SUV. “Who’s with me?”
Owen raised a lazy hand. “Go on then, might as well...”
“Great, so that's me and Owen, and then Tosh and Gwen in the car. You can have a girlie chat.”
Gwen raised an eyebrow, “If you think I'm capable of talking about hair and makeup at seven o'clock in the morning while driving a car, you have another think coming.”
Jack laughed, “Yeah, and I've got to put up with Owen's hangover, I think you've got the best deal.”
“Oi!” shouted Owen, “Can we just bloody well go already? The sooner I'm back in bed, the better.”
“Seconded.” called Tosh, opening the car door and yawning loudly.
“Don’t fall asleep. I need you to talk to me, keep me awake.” Gwen warned as they pulled out into the traffic.
“I’ll do you a deal - don’t try to keep up with Jack’s driving, and I’ll be as chatty as you like.” Tosh retuned the radio to a station which was playing mostly chart hits, and turned the volume down a bit.
“Deal.”
They stuck to small talk while Gwen navigated the Cardiff rush hour, so it wasn’t until they were clear of the city on the A470 that Tosh brought up the subject of the list.
“I found a fireman’s helmet in the ladies showers while you were off.” She remarked.
Gwen bit back a comment about Owen before the reference fell into place. “Really?”
Tosh nodded. “And Owen found something in one of the mortuary drawers...”
Gwen laughed. “I was going to talk to you about that...”
Tosh looked up. “You've heard?”
“I, uh, saw something the other night...”
“You know it's not legitimate if Owen and I haven't seen the proof.”
“It wasn't like that.” Sighed Gwen. “I was down in the archives...”
Tosh interrupted her, “Which section?” she asked, pulling out her copy of the list.
“A-I. But that’s not the point…”
“What were they doing?” Tosh wrote ‘GC’ in pencil next to location # 34.
“Just talking.”
Tosh scanned down the list. “That’s not on here…”
“I know! I said it wasn’t like that!”
Tosh put the list away. “Is this more about Jack bullying Ianto into doing… things?”
“No. Listen, I was down in the archives, because… err…”
“Because you were following them.”
Gwen glanced at Tosh and grinned, then returned her eyes to the road. “Yeah, okay, so I was following them. Anyway, they were sitting on the floor, out of sight of the CCTV camera…”
“I knew it! They were hiding…” Tosh realised that she’d given herself away, and looked sheepish.
“ANYWAY, they were just talking, and Jack was being really sweet to Ianto.”
“So you don’t think he’s bullying him?”
“No. But I think we might be…”
“What do you mean?”
“They know we’re watching them. And it’s really bothering Ianto.”
“I have never been so bored in my life.” Owen slumped against the side of the SUV, watching Gwen and Tosh talking to the aliens.
“They are pretty dull.” Jack agreed.
“They’ve been talking about the weather for thirty five minutes.”
“Rain is a novelty to these guys.”
“Can’t we do this in the pub?”
“Not a good idea.”
“Really?”
“You don’t want to see what happens if they come into contact with alcohol…”
Owen looked quite interested until he saw the expression on Jack's face. He sighed, “How long does it take to tell them to bugger off, anyway?”
“You can't exactly tell them to 'bugger off', Owen...”
“I bet I could.”
“Yes, and then they'd ask you what that meant, and you'd be left explaining the concept of sodomy to members of an alien race that are asexual and mostly liquid... Good luck with that.”
Owen was silent for a few minutes as he considered this. Eventually, he said, “Remind me again why you thought this would take four of us.”
“Because they are a friendly alien species. It's purely intergalactic courtesy...”
“Fine...” Owen cast around for another topic of conversation. “So... uh, you and Ianto, eh?”
“No thanks to you guys.” Jack leant on the car next to Owen.
Owen turned to look at Jack. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not exactly subtle with your spying, you know.”
“Spying?” Owen did a pretty good job at sounding insulted, but Jack wasn't fooled.
“What else would you call it?” he asked, leaning on the bonnet of the SUV. “You and Tosh, bursting into the office when we're in there on ridiculous pretences, changing the CCTV setup... It's a little childish, to be honest. And the less said about that list, the better...”
Owen turned an impressive shade of red. “Well, uh, that was...” he stuttered. Jack was impressed - he'd never seen Owen lost for words before. “Oh, look, the girls are back!”
Jack shook his head, and opened the car door. “Everything Ok?”
“Yeah, they're leaving now... Just took a few bags of soil and a sample of the local flora.” Tosh smiled.
Jack laughed, “My minor genetic donor went to Earth and all I got was this lousy bunch of Daffodils?”
Nobody else laughed.
“Can we go home now?” Owen asked. “Please?”
“Tell you what, you guys go and grab some lunch, I’ll head straight back to Cardiff and check that everything’s okay back at the Hub.”
“Nice one!” Owen pushed himself upright, away from the SUV, and headed for the other vehicle. “Anywhere in particular, girls?”
“There was a nice looking pub a few miles back…” Tosh suggested as she climbed into the back of the car.
Jack jumped into the SUV and turned it towards Cardiff. Somehow, he didn’t think that the team would be too far behind him.
Ianto looked up in surprise from the file he was reading when Jack swept into the tourist office and closed the door behind him.
“It went well, then?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Dramatic entrance. Usually an indicator of success in the field.”
“Well, we sent them on their way happy.” Jack locked the external door and turned the sign to ‘closed’.
“What are you doing?” Ianto closed the file and laid it on the desk.
“Celebrating.” Jack bounded around the desk and pulled Ianto to his feet. “The others have gone out for lunch. It’s just you and me…” He manoeuvred himself into Ianto’s personal space. “Wanna help me celebrate?”
Ianto couldn’t help glancing towards the door. Jack sighed.
“What do I have to do?”
“I’m sorry.” Ianto took a step backwards, away from Jack. “I’m just paranoid now, waiting for one of them to pop up and catch us.”
“Ianto…” Jack took a step forward, closing the gap between them. Ianto took two steps backward.
“I’m sorry…” Ianto looked away.
Jack made an exasperated sound in the back of his throat. “Right. I’ve had enough of this. Come with me.” He grabbed Ianto’s hand and dragged him towards the door into the hub.
“Stand there.” Jack left Ianto standing by Gwen’s desk, and went over to Tosh’s station. He accessed the CCTV, and adjusted the cameras to focus on where Ianto was waiting, looking a little nervous and clutching the file he’d been reading upstairs, which he’d grabbed as Jack pulled him out of the tourist office. Jack smiled. Trust Ianto not to leave a classified file in a locked office, just in case…
“Right.” Jack bounded back to Ianto and carefully removed the file from his grasp, laying it on Gwen’s desk.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re worried about being watched?”
Ianto nodded.
“If they want to catch us, let them!”
“What?”
“Let them get what they want. And then they’ll leave us alone, and we can get what we want…”
Ianto looked around at the cameras. “I…”
“Do you trust me?” Jack asked, stopping directly in front of Ianto and catching his gaze.
“Completely.”
“Then don’t think about the cameras. Don’t think about the others. Focus on me.” Jack’s voice was soft, and Ianto found himself leaning forwards to hear him. Jack leant across the little distance remaining between them and brushed a soft kiss across Ianto’s lips. “Focus on me.” He repeated in a whisper, moving in again for another kiss.
Ianto gasped slightly, even though Jack's actions weren't a surprise. His hands went up automatically to cradle the back of Jack's head, his thumb brushing across his hairline. Jack in return reached for Ianto, gently pulling the Welshman towards him. His hands slipped lower and lower on Ianto's back, reaching under the other man's suit jacket and untucking his shirt from his waistband.
“Jack...” muttered Ianto, tipping his head back to lose contact with Jack's lips.
“Shh.. ”Jack, recapturing them. There was nothing on the face of the planet, or even off it, that could make Jack want to break the kiss. The world could come crashing down around them and Jack knew he wouldn't care as long as he had Ianto right where he was.
Ianto's hands carded through Jack's hair and as Jack tucked his fingers through Ianto's belt loops, pulling him even closer, Ianto stumbled forwards pushing Jack back against the wall behind him. Ianto moved up against him, one knee coming to rest between Jack's own legs.
Jack slid his hands back around Ianto’s waist, then let them drift lower, pulling Ianto flush against him. Ianto tilted his head away from Jack’s mouth, laying a trail of kisses across Jack’s jaw. Jack drew in a shaky breath as Ianto reached the sensitive spot beneath his ear.
Ianto leaned back to look Jack in the eye.
“Jack…”
Not now. Not when it was going so well. Not when Jack had Ianto *exactly* where he wanted him. Jack tightened his grip and moved in to reclaim the kiss.
Ianto stepped back, grasping Jack’s hand as he moved. “Shall we go somewhere more comfortable?”
Maybe the middle of the hub wasn’t *exactly* where he wanted Ianto, Jack reflected as Ianto practically dragged him across the room. After all, there was a couch in the office, and he had a perfectly good bed downstairs.
He followed Ianto across the Hub, watching in delight as the Welshman dropped his hand and stripped off his jacket, throwing it haphazardly over a nearby chair.
Jack reached out to Ianto again, overwhelmed by the realisation that if Ianto saw fit to remove an item of his impeccably pressed suit and all but hurl it in a heap, then the night was definitely looking up. Jack couldn't hold back a deep groan of desire, which made Ianto turn in the doorway to the office and give Jack one of the dirtiest smiles he had ever seen.
“Ianto...” he breathed, hurrying over. “Oh, the things you do to me...”
At that, Jack found himself captured for another bruising kiss, Ianto holding him against the doorframe and slipping his braces off of his shoulders.
“No, Jack, it's the things I'm going to do to you...”
“Another drink, ladies?” Owen stood up and picked up his empty glass.
“Who’s driving back?” Gwen asked. Owen’s shoulders slumped.
“If I have another drink, you won’t let me drive back, but if you drive, we’ll never get there…”
Gwen looked insulted. “It's my bloody car, you know. I wouldn't let you drive it no matter if you had been on lemonade the whole night.”
“I'd get there before tomorrow night, is all I'm saying.”
“Speed limits are there for a reason, you know…”
“Once a copper, always a copper…” Owen sighed. “Fine. Let’s go back to the Hub.”
“We can go for a drink back in Cardiff, if you like.” Tosh suggested, as they made their way out of the pub and back to the car.
“Don’t you want to head back to the Hub? I thought you’d be rushing back to check the CCTV?”
“Actually, Owen, we wanted to talk to you about that…”
“Oh yeah? Found something good, eh?” said Owen, pulling the door open.
“No... It's Ianto... he, uh, has a problem.”
Owen raised his eyebrow.
"Not that sort of problem..." sighed Gwen, "honestly, Owen..."
“You mean you told him about the list?!” he asked, incredulously.
“No!” tutted Gwen, climbing into the driver's seat as Tosh got into the back. “I happened to overhear a conversation between Jack and Ianto the other day...”
“And…?”
“And they’re on to us. And it’s bothering Ianto. And I don’t think it’s fair to carry on. It’s one thing having a bit of a joke, it’s another thing entirely to mess up their relationship.”
“It’s a relationship, now, is it?”
“I just think we should leave them alone.”
“Okay.” Owen opened the glove box. “Have you got any mints?”
“There should be some gum in there… I was expecting a bit more opposition from you!”
“Something Jack said to me, while you two were gassing with E.T….”
“Really?” asked Tosh, leaning forwards from the back seat. Gwen shot her a look.
“Yeah, he said he pretty much knew all about the list and that it was... well... cramping his style.” Owen replied, unwrapping a stick of gum.
Tosh giggled. “I didn't think anything could cramp Jack's style.”
“I thought he'd be into all that stuff, you know.” mused Owen.
Gwen shook her head. “I don't think that there's ANYONE who could get off on being watched by you, Owen... And anyway, it's more likely to be Ianto who's got a problem with it. He doesn't exactly come across as the sexually adventurous type.”
Owen laughed so hard he almost spat out his gum. “He's fucking Jack. The man's immortal, for Christ's sake... That's pretty bloody adventurous.”
“What’s adventurous about having sex with an immortal?” Tosh asked. “I mean, unless he’s in the process of dying or coming back from the dead, I don’t suppose it makes much difference.”
“Bloody hell, Tosh, I didn’t need that image.”
That pretty much killed the conversation for several miles.
“So…” said Gwen, eventually. “Who’s for taking the afternoon off?”
Both Owen and Tosh raised their hands.
“What shall we do for the rest of the day then?”
Owen shrugged. “Pub?” he offered.
“There's a new movie out I quite fancy.” suggested Tosh. “We could get some dinner, you know, make a day of it...”
“I’m not watching anything girly…” Owen warned.
“How about something with lots of explosions and girls in bikinis?”
“That sounds like my kind of film…”
“Do you think we should ring Jack?” Gwen asked as they got out of the car. “In case we’re needed at work?”
“Nah. He’ll either tell us to come in anyway, or he’ll want to come with us.” Owen started walking towards the cinema.
“What’s wrong with him coming with us?” Tosh hurried to catch up.
“Have you ever been to the cinema with Jack?”
“No…”
“Word of advice - don’t.”
“I still think we should let him know that we’re not coming in…” Gwen protested.
“I bet you’ve never bunked off a day in your life, have you…”
Gwen pulled a face at Owen.
“I’ll text him.” Tosh interrupted hurriedly, before her colleagues got any less mature. “Then he can text me back in an emergency, you guys turn your phones off, and we’ll be fine...”
“…And if he wants to socialise, he can buy us all dinner later.” Owen finished. “Who wants popcorn?”
Tosh’s text message went unread for several hours, until Jack realised that part of his team was missing, and went to retrieve his mobile from the pocket of his trousers.
First, he had to retrieve his trousers from over his lamp, where they had been casting a faint blue glow across his desk. Ianto lay back and regarded him silently from the couch in the corner of the room. Jack grinned and scanned Tosh's message, leaning back on his desk.
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “I hope that wasn't anything important...” he said mildly, “It went off a while ago.”
“Mmm...” Jack grinned, "Right around the time I was...”
“Is it important?” Ianto cut him off.
“Not really. Tosh wanted us to know they weren't coming back, and asks if we want to go out for a meal with them.”
"And do we?" Ianto propped himself up on his elbows.
"Oh, I don't know... It might make my plans for the rest of the evening rather awkward."
"You've got plans?" Ianto sat up slowly, putting one foot on the floor. "I guess I might as well join the others, then..."
Jack took a few steps forward to look down at the man on his couch. "I never know when you're being serious."
"It's all part of the mystery."
Jack snorted with a burst of laughter. "Well then, let me clear up the mystery for you..." he leant forward to whisper against Ianto's ear, "All my plans for the evening involve you, and most of them involve you naked..."
"Only most of them?"
"I didn't think you'd want to drive through Cardiff in the nude."
Ianto gave this a moment's consideration. "Not tonight, no." He stood up, steadying himself with a hand on Jack's waist. "Are we going somewhere, then?"
"Well, I was hoping you'd be a gentleman and invite me home for coffee..."
"Are you going to take me out for dinner first?"
Jack stooped to pick up his discarded shirt. "Do you want to?"
Ianto retrieved his boxer shorts from the floor in front of Jack's desk. "Yes, please. I was about to have lunch when somebody interrupted me..."
"Oh, I'm an interruption now, am I?"
Ianto finished pulling his underwear on and walked over to Jack. "I didn't say it wasn't welcome..." he said softly, leaning in for a kiss.
Jack kissed back, smoothing his hands down Ianto's back. Eventually he pulled away. "You want to call Tosh then? See where they are."
"I thought maybe we could give the others a miss." Ianto found his trousers and turned them the right way out. "Do you know what happened to my shirt? It doesn't seem to be in here..."
Jack gave him a soft smile, "Are you asking me out on a date, Ianto Jones?"
"Well, I'm still waiting for you to follow up on asking ME out..."
"It's a fair cop." Jack replied. "I'll pay, if it'll make you feel better."
Ianto laughed. "Just remember who audits your expenses claims..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know... So, where do you want to go?"
"There's a little Italian place not far from my flat... nice atmosphere, lovely food, and it'll give me the chance to go home and get changed first." Ianto had found his shirt, at the top of the stairs outside Jack's office.
Jack peered down at his own rumpled outfit. "Now that you mention it, that might be a good idea..."
Ianto started to put his shirt on, and realised that several of the buttons were missing. "Do you want to meet me there, or are you going to get changed now?"
"I, uh, should probably get a shower... It might be off-putting to the other diners otherwise. Why don't you give me the address, and I'll meet you there in an hour or so."
"Okay." Ianto located a pen and paper in the mess on Jack's desk, and jotted down the name and address of the restaurant. "I doubt we'll need to book on a Wednesday, but I'll give them a call just in case." He looked up at Jack and smiled. "I don't know why you're still getting dressed if you're about to have a shower..."
Jack shot him a filthy grin. "You know what?" he said, pulling his shirt off again, "Neither do I..."
Ianto swallowed. "You know, I really should get going if we're going out for dinner..." He couldn't help reaching out and touching Jack's bare chest. "I wouldn't be very impressed if you were late on our first date..."
"I'm sure I'd have a very convincing excuse..."
Ianto's stomach rumbled loudly, disrupting the moment. Ianto laughed. "I'll see you at the restaurant." He punctuated his sentence with a kiss. "Seven thirty."
Jack glanced at his watch. "That's one hour, seventeen minutes and counting."
Ianto pulled the stopwatch out of his pocket and set it going. "Don't be late!" With a smile and one last kiss, he made his way out of the office and retrieved his suit jacket from where he had dropped it that afternoon.
Jack watched Ianto walk out of the hub, Waistcoat unbuttoned, tie askew and jacket slung over his shoulder was definitely a good look for him, Jack decided.
He looked around his office and smiled, pulling a piece of paper out of his desk drawer.
'Dear Owen, Tosh and Gwen...'
Owen pulled the sheet of paper down from Jack’s office door.
“…gone out for dinner with Ianto,” he read out loud, “not intending to be back too early tomorrow. Please see attached.”
“What’s attached?” Gwen asked. Owen turned to the second page of Jack’s note.
“This looks familiar…” Owen waved the page at the girls. “It’s the list. He’s ticked some of them off…”
Tosh snatched the list from Owen.
“Locations:” she read. “number one, number five, six, seven and eight. Activities: … he’s ticked them all off! All of them!”
“What about the extras?” Owen asked, leaning over her shoulder to get a better look.
Tosh’s mouth moved silently as she went down the rest of the list, becoming audible as she reached the end. “… 23, 24, 25… He’s added some to the end.”
“Let’s see that!” Owen took the list and looked at the bottom. “The kinky… is number 28 even possible?”
“Oh yes.”
Owen looked at Tosh. “How would you…”
“Long story.”
Gwen had taken the list. “Hey, I had Jack’s desk, and the stairs!”
Tosh and Owen scrambled for the paper.
“I had number five!”
“I had Jack’s office!”
“What about the Activities? I had two, five, eight and twelve!”
“Hang on guys.” Tosh got hold of the list. “I think we’re going to need a calculator…”
~The End~
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