Pillow Shaped Heart on the Couch (3/4)
Title: Pillow Shaped Heart on the Couch
Author: playgirl_eugene
Pairing: JaeMin, ninja mentions of others
Genre: AU, fluff fluff fluff (please drown in it xD), smut smut smut, romance, slight drama, slight angst
Warning(s): graphic sex, slight kinks, a few swear words here and there, snarky Changmin as per request
Rating: T/15 - NC/17
Disclaimer: This fic is purely fictional and I do not earn profit of any kind and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: In which the Soulfighters spend their Christmas together, or Shim Changmin is just as whipped as they come.
Author Note: Entered for the _starcandy project for dongbangasm. Hope you like it, darling, because writing this story in over 27.5k word count limit to meet all the prompts in the last two weeks before submission nearly put me into cardiac arrest. Or at least, something like peptic ulcer and it gave me panda eyes the size of an actual panda. I don’t even know how to thank Serena enough for understanding my delays in submitting this fic.
I try very hard to be funny. Really. But I think it’s a fail kind of comedy. Some ideas are inspired by “In Fits and Starts” by wynnetimate, which is simply amazing, and a scene’s idea was based on “We Are Collapsed in the Act of Just Being Here” by raven. The main time line of this story is one or two years in the future.
<< Part Two
07:52 PM, 25th December
In which Mr. Santa is Too Sexy to Come Down through the Chimney Top
So Changmin’s eggnog ended up not having any eggs in it.
His boyfriend had made the eggnog just how he liked it, with a little brandy and bourbon, and a sprinkling of ground cinnamon and spice, but it just wasn’t the same.
Changmin stared sadly at the milky white beverage on the buffet table, looking like someone had just cancelled Christmas. Well, Changmin didn’t actually celebrate Christmas per se, but he generally appreciated the season because it always put Jaejoong in this slightly crazy mood that promised lots of good food and lots lots lots of sex.
Now, Changmin just looked as miserable as floating, soggy cornflakes on a Monday morning in a reindeer suit with a fake glowing nose, one that his boyfriend practically abused him to wear-after Jaejoong made an unholy giggle over the teeny peppermint toffee catastrophe that was not to be mentioned again for a very, very long time.
When their guests started arriving-a bubbly Jihyo in her pretty white dress and sweet Geunyoung, who looked much more mature than when he last saw her jumping into mud pools, then Hyunjoong and Seunghyun who rode with Boa, Kyuhyun who was his colleague at the firm, followed by Junho, and then Hyukjae who was Junsu’s weekend soccer teammate of some sort-Changmin still looked like Mangdongie got run over by a public bus.
Boa had cackled at his face when he explained the situation-after she’d finished cackling at the reindeer suit-because the woman didn’t have a single sympathetic bone in her body, while Jihyo, Hyunjoong, and Seunghyun generally didn’t seem to mind the eggnogs-or the suit-so much.
Hyukjae had looked half-amused mostly-mortified at the sight of him, while Kyuhyun had shot him that weird up-and-down look and made vague snorting sound that somehow pissed him off.
Even sweet, painfully sincere Geunyoung had told him that he looked adorable in some sort of misguided attempt to cheer him up.
Changmin hated them all.
Changmin was also a little put off by Shirota Yuu’s appearance, because even though his boyfriend had told him to behave, the handsome half-Spanish half-Japanese was still Jaejoong’s ex and Shirota liked to aggravate Changmin and everyone kind of knew it.
Not to say that Changmin was a petty, jealous bastard just because he wanted to poke pretty boy in the eyeball with a corkscrew when he stared at Jaejoong-who looked all the wrong kinds of adorable in the bright red Santa suit-two seconds too long for Changmin’s liking, but the man even made a few subtle attempts to pull Jaejoong under the mistletoe hanging just above the entrance hallway leading to the study.
It had Changmin itching to rearrange the cover boy face permanently. Instead, Changmin shoved a would-be-traumatized Hyukjae under the mistletoe with Shirota and mouth-butted the two of them together.
Shirota was blissfully quiet after that. Hyukjae was still whimpering in the corner, but Changmin felt considerably happier.
At ten past eight, Yoochun and Junsu arrived.
Junsu appeared first, looking generally harassed in a flurry of pale blue hair and white tiger coat that looked about as expensive as a house. He stalked pass Changmin the moment the door was opened, nearly leaving a 5mm diameter hole in Changmin’s foot with his dangerous looking man-stiletto.
“Well, Junsu-sama, it’s very nice to see you again.” Changmin said, “No hello kisses this time? Can’t say I’m disappointed,”
Junsu glared at him, but then raised an eyebrow at what he was wearing. Changmin managed to act unaffected after being the receiving end of that look the whole night.
“Cute. You look. Like. A very wrong kind of Rudolph,” Junsu scrunched his nose delicately, fingers twitching for his phone to take some physical evidence to weaponize later, “The very insolent, bad example kind. How did Jaejoong-hyung even put you up to this? Are you just cream-whipped or did you drink?”
“No, but you look like I need a drink.” Changmin returned.
“Shut up, you brat.”
Junsu shrugged out of his coat, revealing some sort of fancy electric blue cashmere sweater and leather pants underneath before he turned to face Changmin again.
“So I see your face is a lot older than last week. Do be careful of the early aging epidemic, Minnie-yah. I heard that a lot of bastards have caught it lately.”
“Epidemic. You learned a new word.” Changmin dramatized, awed, “I’m so proud of you, hyung.”
Junsu flipped him off and whipped his head around left and right. “Now, where is my ever so lovely partner?” Junsu spelled partner like a soprano, “I heard he’d traumatized one of our interns so bad, the poor brat went into nunnery in mainland China.”
Oh, right.
It was so easy sometimes to forget that Junsu and Jaejoong were partners who co-owned Eastern Asia Pacific Management, which was probably one of the most notorious hedge fund units in this part of the continent because the both of them really didn’t look a part of it.
The company was founded by Junsu’s father fifteen years ago, but it flourished under Junsu and Jaejoong instead, so the man left all manner of commercial operations to the two of them and was now a president in name only.
Last Changmin heard, the old man was enjoying his retired life away exploring the African’s preserved natural wildlife with his wife.
Changmin sighed, “What did he do this time?”
“Kid screwed up with some four million dollar contract and I think Jaejoong-hyung hung the kid upside down in the main lobby for three hours and used his ribs a pin-poke cushion with wooden chopsticks.”
“Ouch.” Changmin said, almost sympathetic.
Junsu shrugged, “There was no lasting damage other than the mental trauma, I assure you. The problem is that the kid’s father is one of our board directors and he’s not very happy about it so-”
Thump. “Junsu baby~” Thump, thump, thump. “I know you’re in there. Don’t think I didn’t see you at the parking lot, bunny! Did you just pretend not to know me?” Thump, thump. “I’m hurt, you know!” Thump!
“Yoochun-hyung, stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake-” Junsu said, before he-well, Junsu was one of the most fearless, ruthless people that Changmin knew in his life that feared nothing short of an upset kitten, which suited his job as a hostile takeover specialist, but he-ran away. To the kitchen.
Changmin smirked as he unlocked the door and one Park Yoochun came tumbling in, curly hair flying all over the place, looking drunk even without alcohol because it was his default expression. His little brother followed dutifully behind him, trying to look as small as possible from the embarrassment.
Changmin could sympathize with that. After all, Jaejoong wasn’t Yoochun’s soulmate for nothing if not their fascinating capacity of embarrassing their general vicinity.
Yoochun looked at Changmin, blinking. “Hi.” Yoochun said, normal as anything. He blinked again, before he very rudely ogled at Changmin’s glowing red nose. “Dude, you look like a very big, sexy Terminator on antichrist mission.”
Changmin scowled.
“I mean that in the most loving, sexy way.” Yoochun assured.
Before Changmin could say anything, Yoochun was already floating down to the kitchen as if he could smell Junsu from in there.
“Susu~”
“Yah!” Junsu squealed from the kitchen, followed by vague sounds of attempted murder. Changmin worried. For his fridge. “I still have standing restraining orders against you, Park! Aiiiieee, get away from me!”
Well, good to see those two hadn’t changed. Since last week. Changmin wondered why Junsu didn’t just give in already, considering that they had been at it since college, but then he remembered that Yoochun was still sort of married with his fourth wife.
Yoohwan bowed at Changmin, carrying a tiny, fat, pink bundled, drooling baby girl in his arms. “Sorry about that, Changmin-hyung.” He smiled sheepishly, bouncing the baby who was valiantly trying to swallow her own fist and seemed to be quite successful at it, too. “You know what Yoochun-hyung’s like.”
But Changmin didn’t hear him. He was staring at the baby, who was staring back at Changmin with round, brown unblinking eyes. It was cute, in a little disgusting sort of way because she looked like a miniature Yunho slobbering all over Yoohwan’s very obviously designer sweater.
“… Is that Jiyool?” For some reason, she looked alarmingly huge compared to the last time Changmin saw her.
Yoohwan looked down on the baby and grinned. “Yeah, she is. Isn’t she the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?” He cooed at the baby girl, who drooled even more at the attention, and ticked her chin.
He was looking at her adoringly, so much that Changmin thought it couldn’t have been healthy.
The baby slapped Yoohwan’s chin and gurgled happily.
“You’re good with her.” Changmin noted, flatly. “There’s a very healthy motherhood glow about you since I last saw you at Yoochun-hyung’s third wedding.”
Yoohwan laughed, unaffected by Changmin’s bluntness, smoothly avoiding Jiyool when she tried to butt Yoohwan’s nose with her forehead. He scooted the baby at Changmin’s direction, “Do you want to hold her?”
Changmin quickly shook his head and took a step back, because honestly, babies freaked him out a little.
“She’s not going to bite, you know.”
“Yes, she does.” Changmin said, full of conviction as he unconsciously rubbed on his nose. “They all do. They’re just waiting for the right time to strike when you’re least expecting it.”
Because the last time he carried Jaejoong’s innocent looking, mochi like niece, the little brat had nearly taken his nose off his face.
“Well, they don’t always.” Yoohwan conceded. He paused, then furrowed his eyebrows, “You don’t… like kids, hyung?”
Changmin frowned, “I don’t hate them or anything if that’s what you mean. But I know they don’t like me that much either.”
“But Jaejoong-hyung is good with kids, isn’t he? I heard him telling Yoochun-hyung once that if men could get pregnant, he would already. Get pregnant, I mean. With triplets.”
“I’m not going to comment anything because that sounded so many levels not okay.” Changmin said, rubbing at the back of his own neck. “But yeah, I know that he adores all manner of brats under the terrible ninety centimeters mark-god knows why-and I know he’s been hinting on the idea of adopting for a while now.”
He loved Jaejoong, as self-sabotaging the idea as it was, and he really could imagine spending his whole life with the man. But adopting? That sounded scarily like a self-life-sentence.
“You should consider the idea though, hyung.” Yoohwan said, nuzzling Jiyool’s soft baby hair with his nose and tickling her with his sniffing. Jiyool whined and wiggled cutely. “They’re okay to have around. Make things a lot more fun on most days. And I know you and Jaejoong-hyung will make wonderful parents.”
Yeah, Jaejoong would.
Yoohwan’s smile was near blinding and Changmin could only swallow, “… Yeah.” He glanced at Jiyool, then squinted, “Maybe.”
Why was he even considering this so seriously all of a sudden?
Yoohwan laughed at Changmin’s painfully awkward response and shook his head. “Hyung, you and Jaejoong-hyung have been together for… what, six years? Topics like kids and adopting are bound to pop up sometimes.”
Changmin groaned. Of course he knew that. “I just… I just don’t get why it has to.”
Yoohwan looked pensive, thoughtful.
“Well, people told me that kids bring about a sense of completeness to a relationship. You know, like a bonus of happily ever after? I guess everyone is looking for their own perfect ending,” Yoohwan said, his eyes much older than his years,
Genetic, Changmin decided right then, was a very, very strange thing. The fact that the intelligent, mild-mannered Yoohwan was in any way related to that overgrown sleaze ball was enough to raise some very difficult, though dubious, scientific discussions.
“A lot didn’t find them, take our parents for example. Some said it’s impossible to find. But personally, hyung, I think you and Jaejoong-hyung are pretty damn close.”
Changmin sighed again, feeling very out of sorts for some reasons. “Somehow, I think that’s just the sentimentality of the notion. In reality, I don’t think having kids is as emotionally healthy as they made it out to be.”
There would be a lot of parental responsibilities, tantrum fits, teenage rebellions, and lots and lots of money involved. Less time alone. Less sex. Just thinking about it was already giving him indigestion.
“Well, I would say that they’re easy to have around too, but they’re really not, hyung. It’s going to be hard, especially in the beginning. They will be instinctively suspicious.”
Changmin frowned, “But they’re just kids.”
“Exactly. I helped in raising Jiyoolie, hyung.” Yoohwan said, “And I think she knows by now that I love her very much, but I think she also knows I’m not her mother. There’s always that distance.” Yoohwan sounded almost wistful, filled with longing, “In reality, I’m just babysitting her for Yunho-ssi.”
The taller man really didn’t know what to say to that.
“Oh, speaking of Yunho-ssi, he’s going to be here soon by the way. His car got towed somewhere in Banpo-dong.” Yoohwan said, obviously trying to redirect the topic.
Changmin snorted, “Typical of Yunho-hyung.”
Yoohwan nodded, jiggling a fussy Jiyool in his arms, “He couldn’t get a taxi because he left his wallet somewhere and you know he always left his phone at a different place. I think he managed to call Heechul-ssi from a public phone from somewhere though, so Heechul-ssi will pick him up after he got off work.”
Changmin nodded in familiar understanding. Yunho once got back to the dorm without remembering where he put the car key (it turned up in his pocket with his dorm keys). He didn’t even remember where he left the car. So how did he get back?
“Did you know that he actually managed to accidentally lock himself outside the house in nothing but his boxers and socks in the middle of the night?” Yoohwan sighed, his suffering long. “Yeah, that was last week. I don’t know how he even managed to survive so long without any life-changing surgeries.”
“Well, you’re the one who’s dating the man. How would I know if you don’t?”
While it had been a little fascinating when he first found out about gentle, mostly normal Yoohwan dating Yunho a while back, Changmin couldn’t say it was such a bad thing now. Yoohwan wanted someone who would take his feelings seriously and Yunho kind of needed someone who could look after him and Jiyool all the time.
Jaejoong thought it was “super cute” but that was just Jaejoong.
All involved parties were mostly just worried about how Yoochun would react to it when he found out because he was always a little crazy when it concerned his baby brother’s virtue.
Yunho and Yoohwan would probably have to elope to some third world non-English speaking countries because Yoochun would probably try to assassinate Yunho in his sleep with that stuffed deer Yunho still had on his bed from age six to twenty six before going into depression period.
“I kind of told my mom about me dating Yunho-ssi. You know, just in case Yoochun-hyung found out before we’re ready to tell him.”
Changmin blinked, hard. Apparently, he had spoken the last bit out loud, “You what?”
“Told my mom,” Yoohwan repeated, shifting on his feet and prodding at something invisible on the carpet, “Surprisingly, she was pretty chill about it. I’m just glad she didn’t freak out or anything because Yunho-ssi’s a man and a widower.”
“I think after the Greek tragedy that was your brother’s third divorce, you dating a somewhat decent, mostly morally upright, and very single man whose wife died honourably a year ago during child birth is the least of your mother’s big concerns in life.”
Yoohwan nodded absently, “Mom loved him, by the way. Yunho-ssi, I mean.” He added, like they could be talking about anyone else. “She said he was charming, financially stable, and well, he’s older than me so I guess she thought he could look out for me or something.”
Changmin snorted again.
“Oh, Yunho-ssi also fixed our heater when he came over last time. And he complimented mom’s hair and cooking. So yeah, instant brownie points. For mom anyway.”
Changmin rolled his eyes. Yunho never changed, because even though he was probably the kindest between the five of them, he was probably the fakest one too. Changmin meant that in the nicest way possible, of course.
“Besides, mom has a weak spot the size of China for grand, romantic gestures. You know, love conquers all and saves the world from devastation? She probably thinks our relationship is Shakespearean or something.”
It would be Shakespearean when Yoochun found out alright. Like Romeo and Juliet. Or Othello. Or maybe both.
“I thought we were clear that your mom wasn’t the main issue? What about Yoochun-hyung?”
“Mom said that she’ll talk to hyung about it.” Yoohwan said uncertainly, then shrugged vaguely, “Well, eventually. It’s been two weeks since then and no one is dead or anything so I guess she hasn’t.”
The Jung himself materialized by the doorway about five minutes later, appearing strangely remorseful with an irritated Heechul leading him.
Apparently, Heechul had, for some ill-advised reasons, decided to trust Yunho’s sense of direction and the man had gotten the both of them driving around in circles because he remembered a wrong right turn somewhere.
Why Heechul even bothered with Yunho questionably damaged navigation skills when there were such things such as smart phones with satellite GPS was out of him, but he never did understand the things that Heechul did most of the times.
Yunho shuffled about behind Heechul, making the act of putting away shoes appear like self-chastening. His whole countenance changed when he caught sight of his younger lover and daughter though, moving in to kissing a squawking Jiyool’s face all over until the baby kicked him on the chin.
When Yunho just laughed it off and grabbed on Jiyool’s feet to tickle her toes instead, Changmin couldn’t help himself from blurting, “… Is that really fun?”
“Huh?” Yunho echoed.
“That’s supposed to be fun?” Changmin said again, more to himself this time. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
“Huh?” Yunho repeated.
Yoohwan just smiled knowingly at Changmin’s thoughtful frown and whispered to Yunho, “I think Changmin-hyung and Jaejoong-hyung are planning to have a baby soon.”
Yoohwan giggled infectiously and Yunho smiled back, though completely confused, and he was about to kiss Yoohwan for being so cute when Yoochun was suddenly, unwillingly dragged back to the hallway by an equally unwilling looking Hyukjae.
Hyukjae stared between the three of them, grimaced, and proceeded to dump Yoochun on Yunho. “Yeah, no,” He paused and finally settled on begging, “Just stay here. Please. Junsu will kill both of us if you don’t.”
After that, Hyukjae ran back to the kitchen, leaving a sulking Yoochun behind. Yoochun muttered darkly about Hyukjae’s fate and Changmin almost felt pity for Hyukjae.
“I bet monkey boy just want a piece of those luscious, succulent buns for himself.”
But Lee Hyukjae was completely straight, Changmin thought. But he decided not to say anything because Yoochun was impossible to reason with when it concerned Kim Junsu.
“You could take him,” Yunho said loyally to Yoochun.
Yoochun huffed self-importantly, “Of course I could take him.”
Changmin rolled his eyes.
“I heard Jiyoolie! Is she here already?”
Jaejoong, who had been puttering about in the kitchen all the while, suddenly poked his head in the hallway, brightening like LED bulb when he caught sight of the baby girl in Yoohwan’s arm.
“Uwaaaa, Jiyoolie! I miss you so much~ Do you miss Jae Jae too~?”
Jaejoong gently plucked the baby from Yoohwan, cuddling her to his chest and cooing and twirling her around, causing Jiyool to shriek in delight, looking so natural with a baby that Changmin felt like he was gut-punched.
Yoohwan shot him another knowing smirk.
… Great.
- - - - -
Dinner was done a la carte buffet and by the end of it, Changmin was close to committing a strategic second degree mass murder over a piece of ham, Yoohwan was trying to keep Junsu from stabbing his brother with a fork, while Hyunjoong and Jaejoong were already all over each other in a pile of drunken mess with Seunghyun goading them with endless supply of whiskey.
Changmin sighed as he went over to Seunghyun, stopping him from handing the pair another glass of whiskey, earning blubbered, simultaneous protests. “Don’t give him anymore, hyung. Alcohol is bad for his legs and I’m the one who has to deal with the consequences later.”
Seunghyun cocked an eyebrow and glanced at the tipsy Jaejoong, who had abandoned Hyunjoong after the brunet passed out cold on the floor, and was currently giggling and clinging onto Kyuhyun’s side, the latter looking half-flushed half-mortified.
“What? Do they swell or something?”
“No. They spread.”
Seunghyun stared at him.
Changmin shook his head, “You look so precious when horrified.”
“Changmin-ah!”
Changmin choked when Jaejoong suddenly hip-attacked him, effectively tackling him onto the couch. Changmin was then forced to manoeuvre a bit as Jaejoong climbed into his lap, beaming. Changmin looked back at him warily and they spent the next five minutes just staring until Yunho cleared his throat loudly.
“What do you want now, hyung?” Changmin asked finally.
Jaejoong perked, like he had been waiting for Changmin to say that. “I’ve always wanted to try this.” He wriggled some more on Changmin’s lap until he was sitting directly on top of Changmin’s crotch, hands locked behind Changmin’s nape. “Santa, there’s something I want for Christmas.”
At this point, Yunho and Yoohwan looked politely away, steering Jiyool’s line of sight somewhere more appropriate for her age.
Jihyo and Kyuhyun stared at them. Junsu stared at them. Yoochun stared at Junsu, while devouring the eggnog-without-the-eggs.
Shirota settled on looking bitter before leaving the room. Hyukjae and Seunghyun just looked mostly horrified before Hyukjae started gulping down cola to make himself drunk. Geunyoung looked on confused.
Boa was leering. And Heechul… Heechul was also leering.
“I’m Rudolph.” Changmin deadpanned, “And while it doesn’t seem to bother you in the slightest trying to seduce me in that outfit, I am greatly disturbed.”
Jaejoong pouted again, shameless. “So we’re not gonna play the tell secret desires to Santa?”
“No.” Changmin said, dead serious, before trying to roll Jaejoong to his side on the couch but Jaejoong was clinging to him like an Amazonian leech. “We are not. Why? Because I’m Rudolph and because I said so. Now get off me.”
“You won’t do it even in Christmas spirit?” Jaejoong asked again, looking up miserably with fake wobbling lips and wet eyes.
“I’m a Buddhist.” Changmin said as dry as possible, which was pretty dry.
“Ooh, the Santa is Buddhist~” Yoochun slurred, in his limited English and laughed hysterically on his own, all the while cradling the eggnog bowl.
Changmin sighed loudly, rubbing his forehead. Oh, his migraine. “Can someone stop feeding him the eggnog? It’s making him think he’s actually American.” He glared pointedly at Yunho, who was busy trying to make his baby girl spit poor Mangdongie’s ears that she had taken as chew toy, the tiny Maltese whimpering at her mercy.
Yunho quickly snatched the bowl of eggnog from Yoochun, who blinked then flailed.
“But my eggnogs~”
“Yoochunie,” Yunho started, patiently holding Yoochun by the forehead at arm’s length away, “Go bother Junsu.”
Yoochun blinked again and went willingly.
“I can appreciate Buddhism, no problem.” Jaejoong chirruped, smiling cutely and being stubborn all at once. “And Rudolph can be a good, helpful boy and get across my message to Santa later.”
Changmin recognized a fight he wouldn’t win when he saw it, so he sighed and blew on his bangs instead, “Fine.” He scooted Jaejoong up like the man weighed cotton and settled him onto his thighs.
All lucid pairs of eyes plus a squawking Jiyool’s were suddenly turned to him and it just hit him like a bullet in the face what he had gotten himself into.
He glanced at Jaejoong, who looked bubbly with anticipation and Changmin inwardly bemoaned the “things that he did for Kim Jaejoong” as he cleared his throat and said, “… T-Tell Santa what do y-you… want… for Christmas, J-Jaejoong-ah?”
“Man, you guys are so fucked up.” Boa commented from the side, trying to target her mouth with the glass but kept missing and spilling on Seunghyun.
Junho and Kyuhyun were watching full of fascination from their place on the floor. Hyukjae was still trying to drink himself drunk with cola while Junsu sat next to him, primly inspecting his perfectly manicured nails while ignoring Yoochun, who was clinging to Junsu’s leg and rubbing his face there, with practiced ease.
Heechul was still leering.
Changmin glared at all of them.
Jaejoong, who didn’t seem to mind the attention at the slightest, titled his head to the side and dropped his eyes down at Changmin’s covered crotch. They lit brighter than the damn tree. “All I want for Christmas is inside your pants, Santa.”
Changmin heard Junho let out a poorly disguised hacking cough while Yunho and Hyukjae hacked violently on their drinks and proceeded to die. Boa just snorted into her wineglass of kiwi punch and made a series of complicated eye rolls, Kyuhyun yawned, while Geunyoung still looked completely bemused.
Heechul’s leer by now was effectively capable of making a full-grown man cry.
Junsu finally kicked Yoochun.
Changmin felt like kicking himself as his cheeks and ears burned up. “Oh for-Hyung, get off me. Now. Or I’m not giving you anything from inside anywhere.”
Jaejoong stared at him, opting to be gut-wrenchingly cute, “Not even if you can punish me for being a bad boy, Santa? I’ve been a very, very baaad boy~”
“Stop talking to my dick, hyung.” Changmin pinched Jaejoong’s cheeks, stretching his lips while at it, and lifted his gaze to Changmin’s face-level and the younger man smirked, “And bad boys don’t get Christmas presents from Santa.”
Jaejoong pouted, sniffing when Changmin plucked him from his lap and deposited him in the empty space next to him.
“You’re such a meanie.”
Changmin grinned, “I try very, very hard.”
- - - - -
After dinner, while leaving the other to procrastinate in the living room with Changmin and Seunghyun playing the babysitters, Jaejoong managed to bully a few people into doing the dishes with him because he was a petty tyrant like that.
Yunho and Hyukjae were roped in almost immediately and Junsu had actually offered to help. But that was just because he was avoiding Yoochun.
“I can’t believe him!” Junsu said as he furiously scrubbed on a plate, looking strangely at home wearing a frilly pink dish apron-Jihyo and Boa’s idea of a joke-over his designer clothes. “Why can’t he just leave me alone? And what the fuck happened to my restraining orders?” He scrubbed harder.
Jaejoong hummed as he flicked soap suds at Hyukjae and Yunho. Hyukjae looked generally harassed, but dutiful. Yunho dropped a plate. “Well, I just think it’s super cute that he’s still in love with you even after ten years.”
Junsu scowled at his plate, “He’s a frivolous bastard who can’t keep it in his pants to save his life. If you happen to forget something, hyung, you attended all his four weddings and two of his divorce trials!”
“Well, Yoochunie is a little… fussy.”
Yunho hand-slipped with another plate. He stared sadly at the million glass pieces on the floor before he went to get the broom.
“Fussy! None of his relationships ever lasted longer than a long bathroom trip!” Junsu huffed, “I’m surprised that none of his exes had lined up in front of his door to kill him. Or castrate him. Yes, castrate is good. And everyone wondered why I never dated the perv in college.”
Jaejoong opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, paused, and he must have thought better of it, because he said instead, “Well, I dated the Shim for six years and everyone wondered about that, too. But that’s because he’s kind of a six-and-one-and-a-half inches dick and that gets me hot.”
Junsu suddenly looked thoughtful and Hyukjae meep-ed.
Yunho returned with the broom but he accidentally nudged a stack of clean plates into the floor with his butt. He was vetoed out of the kitchen after that to avoid more innocent plate murders. Yunho trudged away from the kitchen with his head hung low like a kicked puppy.
Jaejoong smiled serenely, brimming with innocence. “I mean six feet one and a half inch tall dickhead.” He grinned, “And that gets me very hot.”
“You totally did that on purpose!” Hyukjae sputtered, shuddering.
Junsu remained wholly undisturbed, “But just how did you end up with him anyway? I mean, you guys were friends since forever. I get that. But how did you end up dating him?”
Changmin was more sarcastic than Junsu could handle most of the time and he didn’t understand half of the things Changmin said for the rest of it.
If he had to be fair, Changmin was more “sly” than actually hostile, but Junsu’s basic parameter of common sense didn’t exactly cover how a normal human being could date Shim Changmin. For six years.
Not that Jaejoong was the shining example of “normal.” Junho still affectionately thought Jaejoong was an alien.
Jaejoong’s eyes lit up suddenly. Which was pretty alarming, “Oh, you remember that Christmas party six years ago at Jihyo-noona’s place?”
Junsu raised an eyebrow, “The one where Jisung ended up dancing on the table in a speedo, Yoohwan ended up swallowing a pack of condoms under the mistletoe because he refused to kiss Kim Jongwoon, and Yunho ended up in the seven-minute closet with that transvestite with the hairy legs?”
“It was Hangeng by the way.” Jaejoong said, “The transvestite. Heechul thought it would help him blend in with the local culture.”
The eyebrow rose higher, nearly disappearing under Junsu’s blue hair, “By dressing him in drag?”
Jaejoong shrugged, “It’s Heechul.”
“So what happened back at Jihyo-noona’s place?” Hyukjae interrupted before the conversation could spiral into something more awkwardly embarrassing.
“Did you remember me and Changmin having a little… uh, tiff before that?” Jaejoong bubbled as he suddenly obsessed over a cowlick he spotted sticking out on the side of his head on the stainless steel surface of their fridge. He couldn’t get it to lie down and he fussed with it.
Junsu made a disgusted face, “You mean the month-long cold war period that you two spent looking moony and as miserable as sick puppies on angst steroids?” He gestured the air vaguely, “Changmin’s best-friend-hyung-love-freak-out era? That? Yeah, I remember that.”
“I just love the way you put it, Junsu-yah. It sounds… debonair.” Jaejoong mmh-ed.
“Do you even know what that means?”
“Anyway, how we got together was sort of romantic. Shakespearean even.” Jaejoong said, non-sequitur, “Changminnie kind of went out all Mike Tyson to save me from this perv who was trying to feel me up at the party because I was drunk. And oh god, he looked so hot all angry and growling like that.”
Hyukjae scratched his hair, confused. Well, it did sound a little romantic, a somewhat typically violent sort of way.
“Then he dragged me away and locked us up in Jihyo-noona’s bathroom. He brought an actual mistletoe above our heads and he was blushing and I was like “awww, so sweet” because damn, Changmin is sexy when he’s trying to be mushy.”
Jaejoong looked extremely pleased with life, which at least made one of them.
“And he was like “hey, I think we should kiss wanna kiss” and it was so unff and all, I couldn’t have said no.”
Junsu and Hyukjae just stared at him, because it looked like the safest option to take at this point.
Jaejoong had given up trying to smooth down the cowlick and just suddenly decided that it was cute anyway, like a charm point. He poked at the wayward lock of hair, smiling when it just coiled back cutely. “That must be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and Lee Taemin asked me out once.”
“Umm, that was… very sweet?” Hyukjae tried, because really, what else could he say to that?
“I appreciate people who are straightforward,” Jaejoong explained.
Neither Junsu nor Hyukjae asked him anything more on the topic for a long time after that.
- - - - -
It was nearly midnight when the lights suddenly went off without warning.
For a second, Changmin wondered if it was a power failure before he realized that the sound system was still playing. Then, he was suddenly pulled forward by the collar and found himself kissing a pair of familiar lips.
Changmin kissed back, because it was the most natural thing to do as his hand found their usual spot on thin, girly waist.
They were not the only couple in the room that was quick to steal a kiss in the momentary darkness, but Changmin had all the rights in the world to feel like they were.
Jaejoong pulled away breathlessly, his eyes gleaming even in the dark and Changmin could trace a pleased smile playing on his puffy lips with his own.
“Merry Christmas, Changmin-ah.”
Before he even got to say it back, the light was switched on again-just as suddenly as it went off-and Changmin realized something in the room had shifted, the status quo, a current, or maybe just the general feel of it.
He realized what exactly shifted when Jaejoong tugged him towards the kitchen’s direction and he nearly squealed, sort of embarrassingly, when he saw the girls plus Jaejoong’s two sisters, Minyoung and Sooyoung (Changmin didn’t even know they were here), setting the buffet table that now looked like a homemade version of cake opera with a cocktail combo assortment of mini gingerbread cheesecake, red velvet Bûche de Noël, triple-brownies raspberry trifle, hazelnut praline torte, toasted coconut and vanilla bean meringues, even the traditional pumpkin pie with pecans and spice.
And was that-
“Eggnog mousse cake? With almond dacquoise?”
“Yeah,”
Changmin had to take a deep breath.
And sitting in the middle of it all was a croquembouche, obviously handmade and shaped like Christmas tree, a glittering high-piled cone of chocolate truffles, whipped ice cream profiteroles, and macarons (salted milk caramel, bourbon, blueberry, chai, coffee feuilletine, liquorice, pistachio, raspberry, matcha) held together with webs of thick, gooey caramel strings and peppered with sugared powder almond and cinnamon.
It was half his height, looked sweet enough to kill a grown man with immediate diabetes, and fuck, he loved his boyfriend.
He was so going to get some of those adoption papers even if it killed him, Changmin decided, staring so much that he only realized he did that when someone (Yunho, who’d probably decided to take pity on him before he drowned in his own pool of drool or something) closed his jaw for him.
He elbowed Yunho painfully in the ribs and scowled when he realized that the rest of the party was already crowding his kitchen’s space, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the buffet table.
He turned away again and when his eyes landed back on the buffet table, Changmin’s eyes turned dreamy and he looked so alarmingly moved like he could cry. He sniffed instead, “You-I don’t-just how did-?”
“I sent an emergency SOS signal earlier.” Jaejoong explained, grinning sheepishly, “Called my mom and a few sisters to help out when you went to get the snow cones.”
Ah, so that was why he was so adamant about getting the damned snow cones. Changmin suddenly felt a little guilty for leaving that explicit voicemail on his mailbox. He wondered if he could get around deleting it before Jaejoong got to it.
But then again, with his brand of humour, Jaejoong might find it funny instead.
“I just… wanted everything to be perfect for you. I thought we should have something special, you know? Considering that this is our sixth year anniversary and all that too, and I really, really wanted to surprise you for a change, and well-Surprise!”
Jaejoong was babbling so Changmin leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It was so suddenly, so unexpectedly that Jaejoong could do nothing but freeze very awkwardly.
“It’s perfect.” Changmin grinned when pulling away, his left eye crinkling, mismatching the right, and cheeks pinking, “You’re perfect.”
Jaejoong stared at Changmin, a hand over his mouth because holy shit, did Shim “how about if I staple my PDA to your eyeballs if you try that” Changmin just kiss him in front of the very people who could be their whole career in social life?
Changmin was already scrambling to the buffet table before Jaejoong could say anything else, staring dreamily at the dainty confectionaries before shoving Yoochun away from poking his croquembouche, baring his teeth threateningly when Yunho was about to touch the eggnog mousse cake, and elbowing Shirota shamelessly aside (the man wasn’t even near the buffet table).
The sight made Jaejoong toss his head back and laugh, running after to pinch and pull Changmin’s now cake-stuffed puffy cheeks so hard, the younger man nearly dislocated something when he one-touched him back just as hard.
As hard as they loved each other.
-
-
-
11:49 PM, 25th December 2008
Fact: The Inner Contents of Mistletoes’ Fruit, Viscin, Bears a Great Resemblance to Human Semen.
Changmin decided to confront Jaejoong during a Christmas party at Song Jihyo’s place. Her parents left on a six-week cruise on the Aegean Sea and left the house to their daughter and their partially deaf, genial Pilipino housekeeper.
It was impossible for Jihyo to resist the temptation of throwing an American-style frat party of sort given the situation.
He knew Jaejoong would be invited because Jaejoong was always invited everywhere.
Changmin had waited all night for a chance to strike, imitating a hunter waiting to go in for the kill, which was dumb because it was only Jaejoong who was his best friend. The chance came when Jaejoong stood up from the small group of people playing rum-and-cola bong to go to the toilet.
Changmin followed him at a distance, watching amusedly as a wide-eyed, incoherently mumbling Jaejoong stumbled and nearly tripped everywhere, bumping into things, and clinging on walls, attempting to crawl on them, obviously out of it.
He even bowed in apology at a fat dynasty Ming vase he nearly toppled over from a stand, mistaking it for Yunho (“Sorry-Oh, Yunja-yah! How did you get so fat in one night, Yunja~?” He flailed then giggled then stopped suddenly) and Changmin had to smile.
Jaejoong was a cute drunk.
Apparently, the amount of alcohol he’d had effectively killed his already impaired internal GPS so Jaejoong was going around in small circles and rubbing his cheeks in frustrations while trying to figure out which way to go when the toilet was just ahead and right of him.
Changmin chuckled quietly, all nervousness gone, and he was about to approach Jaejoong when Changmin noticed one of their seniors, a lean, rather sensual stranger-the kind who looked like a sexual predator and knew it, too-who was leaning languidly against a nearby wall, smoking a cigarette.
The man was gazing at Jaejoong with predatory gleam in his eyes, lips curling into a thin-lipped smirk as he blew a smoke ring and dropped the bud, toeing it on the marbled surface before he headed for Jaejoong.
Changmin gritted his teeth, knuckles white, watching narrow-eyed as Jaejoong staggered again, this time falling conveniently into the stranger’s open arms.
Jaejoong looked up groggily, completely defenceless. The stranger smiled beatifically, offering to bring Jaejoong to rest up at one of the rooms upstairs, voice soft and husky, full of promises as he whispered right into Jaejoong’s ears, “You are so drunk, sweetheart.”
Large, obtrusive hands found purchase on the slim waist and soft, exposed skin. He gently manoeuvred a confused Jaejoong to the stairs, the unfamiliar face alight with anticipation as Jaejoong moaned slightly in disorientation, weakly clinging to the man for support when they started walking.
Before Changmin even realized what he was doing, he was already walking up to the pair, in large, vengeful strides before he grabbed the stranger by the shoulder, turned him around and socked the man on the jaw with almost enough force to take a head off the neck before anyone could do something.
Not that they would do anything though, because Shim Changmin was rather notorious and he wasn’t afraid to cause trouble or break things-and bones-when pissed.
That, he was this six feet two guy who had taken up boxing since middle school as a hobby.
The commotion seemed to wake Jaejoong though and, while he wasn’t sure what exactly just happened, he was watching Changmin-his Changmin, who seemed impossibly taller and so much more handsome than he had been a month ago, but maybe that was just Jaejoong who was missing him a little too much-with wide, disbelieving eyes.
Changmin glanced coldly at the sprawled man groaning on the floor before turning his eyes to Jaejoong, who stiffened at the attention then shuffled on his feet like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to run to Changmin or away.
Changmin felt like saying something but he bit the insides of cheeks instead, holding back from shouting something stupid in front of captive audience.
So instead, he reached forward and tugged on Jaejoong’s thin wrist, landing another swift, but decidedly painful kick at the man who was still prostrated on the floor, causing him to choke in pain, before half-dragging Jaejoong away, the smaller man stumbling after him, unable to match his wider strides but too afraid to say anything.
Jaejoong felt himself panicking a little inside. While he knew that Changmin would never do anything to hurt him-well, maybe a little if their one-touches were anything to go with, but Changmin would never really harm him. That much-Jaejoong had never seen Changmin so mad either.
That was saying something because Changmin was mad a lot.
Jaejoong found himself being shoved into one of the bathrooms on the first floor, eyes widening when Changmin followed him inside and closed the door behind him, pawing the lock.
Changmin honestly didn’t know what he was doing, locking himself with Jaejoong in Jihyo’s bathroom when he was supposed to be declaring his fucking grand love to the man.
He’d rehearsed this, played it over and over again in his head, using his pillow and Junsu as occasional practice targets-which nearly made Junsu cry in mortification-and made a fucking script on the back of his planner.
He opened his mouth, closed it again.
“C-Changmin-ah?” Jaejoong wet his lips, unsure.
Changmin’s first instinct was to kiss those lips until his brain broke. His second was to run away. Maybe to Japan or Antarctica so he could make friends with the polar bear community there and become a nomad Eskimo or something because Jaejoong was staring at him like Jaejoong wasn’t sure what to do besides looking very awkward.
No one said anything for a painfully long time.
Both of them jumped, startled, when some delirious, weed-smoked drunk outside suddenly banged on the door, rattling the knob and slurring at them to “hurry the fuck up” because he needed to take a piss.
Changmin scowled and slammed the side of his fist against the door hard enough to take the paint off, nearly missing how Jaejoong jumped again at the sound. “Fuck off,” He growled and the rattling stopped.
Jaejoong shrunk even more and cast his eyes down, feeling smaller, because after nearly a month of almost no direct contact, Changmin suddenly seemed so much bigger-seriously, would the boy ever stop growing, Jaejoong had stopped growing years ago-stronger, his hands so much larger and-what’s that?
Jaejoong’s eyes widened at the sight of the skinny twig in Changmin’s hand, fingers clenched so tight around it, that the edge of Changmin’s fist was a blotchy white.
“… Changmin-ah?”
Jaejoong was drunk, was disoriented, but he was also very aware of Changmin’s presence.
Changmin swallowed thickly, like he had been force fed molasses-or tar, yes, black evil tar-and cleared his throat, awkward as anything. “Yeah. So… uh, I get that we’re supposed to kiss someone under the mistletoe?” Changmin said, not quite a question, waving the mistletoe in his hand.
Jaejoong stared at him blankly. Changmin felt like such a failure.
But then, what seemed like understanding filled Jaejoong’s beautiful eyes, making them brighter, more lucid. With only the slightest bit of hesitation, as if wanting to make sure that he did not misunderstand this, he leaned closer to Changmin and stepped up on his toes, closing their height differences, and giving Changmin enough space to back off comfortably if he did happen to misread it.
“So?” Jaejoong breathed, heart palpitating, threatening to burst and made a very gory bathroom floor.
The younger man stuttered, “S-So, I got this mistletoe-” that he secretly stole from above Jihyo’s entrance hallway (because Jihyo’s idea of a sadistic, evil joke was to trap unwilling, crack-ish couples under the damned mistletoe, one of which resulted in Yoohwan swallowing a pack of condom just so that he didn’t have to kiss Kim Jongwoon when they both happened to arrive at the same time).
“So?” Jaejoong was so close, their faces almost touching, lips brushing against each other in a private bubble.
Changmin felt his face heat up and this was just so embarrassing he could die. “Umm, so-” He cleared his throat then raised the sprig just above their heads and mumbled in gibberish, “So I think I should be kissing… s-someone… no?” He squeaked, embarrassingly, at the end.
Jaejoong closed his eyes. “… Yeah?”
Jaejoong’s lips were dry and slightly salty-tangy-bitter from all the drinks he’d had and Changmin just knew he had been waiting for this all his life and suddenly, he knew what he had to say and do.
Fuck the scripts; he wasn’t in a drama.
Changmin dropped the sprig and Jaejoong squeaked when he found himself being lifted into narrow counter next to the sink. He automatically wrapped his arms around Changmin’s shoulders, his knees bracketing Changmin’s waist as the taller boy stepped into the open v of his legs.
Changmin did not say anything else, lips a hairbreadth away above the openness of Jaejoong’s mouth. Their breaths mingled heavily, each breathing himself more into the other’s lungs until they only knew each other’s air.
This was nice, Changmin thought. Standing up, he was nearly a whole head taller than Jaejoong, but with Jaejoong like this, Changmin only had to tilt just so and Jaejoong would be at the perfect height to kiss.
But then again, Changmin never loved him because he was perfect for Changmin.
There was never a “because.” He just did. Loved.
Yeah, Changmin had kind of loved him all along, didn’t he?
Jaejoong pulled away slightly, reaching up and trapping Changmin’s head so he’d be at direct eye-level with Jaejoong.
They looked into each other’s eyes, so familiar yet so different now that they both got their hearts lined up in the shooting range. Changmin was all too aware that he had Jaejoong caged between him and the counter, Jaejoong breath fanning over his cheek, smelling sweet even with the sharp taste of tequila on his breath.
“… Why now?” Jaejoong asked him, looking helpless and small and sad, and any yellow caution tape that they couldn’t shed as “best friends forever” were ripped down and now everything was laid bare, out in the openness between them.
The question had Changmin feeling like having stomach cramps or vomiting from sheer nerves, but he figured he wouldn’t look so handsome with a potential peptic ulcer.
The older man looked up at him with wide, vulnerable eyes that nearly melt Changmin’s heart into a puddle of goo right there in the middle of the bathroom. “Why now, Changmin-ah? Tell me, I need to know-”
Jaejoong was just so close, too lovely so Changmin kissed him hard on the mouth. Jaejoong frantically returned the kiss with a consuming desperation.
Jaejoong made a soft, breathy hitch at the back of his throat, his wet eyes glazed and skin flushed pink. Changmin suddenly felt like his own skin was too tight and he was hot from his cheeks to his neck and chest as he rubbed slow circles on the smooth, heated skin under Jaejoong’s shirt.
“There’s never been now or then, hyung.” Changmin whispered, nuzzling his forehead against Jaejoong’s.
Jaejoong closed his eyes when Changmin rubbed their noses together, stroking his cheeks with the pads of calloused fingers, a habit that would carry on into their relationship.
“There’s only always been. I just… never realized it.”
When you’ve been right here all along.
“… Oh my god,” Jaejoong muttered, being so close that Changmin was a blur of tanned skin and mismatched eyes as he reached up to pinch Changmin’s cheeks, pulling them to each side, causing the younger man to wince. “This is really happening, isn’t it?” Jaejoong said, full of awe before leaning up to kiss Changmin again.
Changmin laughed, but the sound was muffled because Jaejoong was kissing him again.
He wasn’t sure how long they spent kissing like that, but Changmin never had the chance to do that before, just kiss like they had all the time in the world, even though reality remained that they were locked in Jihyo’s bathroom with some odd thirty people milling about behind two inches of definitely-not-soundproofed wooden door.
There was a singularly delirious moment where Jaejoong wondered if this was still last week, when he fell asleep on the couch with his phone pressed to his forehead, replaying Changmin’s saved voicemails as comfort, and was only dreaming.
But the warm, solid heat that was Changmin’s body was something sublime, the hot slickness of his lips wasn’t something that Jaejoong could’ve ever imagined.
It was just so much better.
With that realization, Jaejoong couldn’t have stopped that dam of swelling, messy emotions within him from breaking if he wanted.
“I love you, Changmin-ah.” He whispered, the words slipping from him easily, familiarly, fitting in between them, into their skin, and remaining there.
“I lo-umm, you know-y-you too.” It was the perfect ending, but he kind of chickened out at the last minute so Changmin fumbled a little and ended up just kissing Jaejoong again, a peck this time, somehow sweet, like candies and first loves.
“… Yeah, I know.” Jaejoong whispered, smiling. He leaned forward to kiss Changmin on the chin before nuzzling Changmin’s neck.
Changmin smelled so good.
Jaejoong closed his eyes, wanting to drown in everything that was Changmin. He would have a very nice dream tonight, preferably filled with this handsome young man that he had been in love with for the last four years.
“Changminnie…?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ll wait for you, okay?” He looked up at Changmin, smiling and kissing again, because he could never get enough of kissing Shim Changmin in this lifetime. But don’t make me wait too long.
And Changmin understood.
It would be a year later before Changmin would be able to say the L-word without feeling like running away, without thinking that Jaejoong would slip from his grasp like sand like his mother did so many years ago before she left him and his father for a stranger whose face Changmin didn’t remember anymore but whom he remembered had been nearly half his mother’s age.
His mother was flighty, had always been erratic. She could never really stay rooted in one place and be content with life. She had loved Changmin and his father, but maybe she just loved herself a little more.
But then Jaejoong, his gentle, patient, loving Jaejoong, who was selfless and nothing like his mother, knew him better than anyone else.
And somehow, Changmin knew Jaejoong loved him, more than anyone should ever have really, and knew that his heart would be safe here, locked away in a tiny treasure chest with no keys and remained forever like sands and water and diamonds in the sun.
But for now, Changmin breathed softly, now evenly, because, “Yeah.” Some things didn’t have to be said out loud.
Still, he tightened his hold around Jaejoong, nuzzling his soft hair and neck, until they were waterproof tight and inseparable.
Jaejoong closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, his voice almost dreamy. “Merry Christmas, Changmin-ah.”
He turned his face to the right, whispered, breath sticky against Jaejoong’s ear.
“… Merry Christmas, hyung-ah.”
-
-
-
Part Four>>
Author: playgirl_eugene
Pairing: JaeMin, ninja mentions of others
Genre: AU, fluff fluff fluff (please drown in it xD), smut smut smut, romance, slight drama, slight angst
Warning(s): graphic sex, slight kinks, a few swear words here and there, snarky Changmin as per request
Rating: T/15 - NC/17
Disclaimer: This fic is purely fictional and I do not earn profit of any kind and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: In which the Soulfighters spend their Christmas together, or Shim Changmin is just as whipped as they come.
Author Note: Entered for the _starcandy project for dongbangasm. Hope you like it, darling, because writing this story in over 27.5k word count limit to meet all the prompts in the last two weeks before submission nearly put me into cardiac arrest. Or at least, something like peptic ulcer and it gave me panda eyes the size of an actual panda. I don’t even know how to thank Serena enough for understanding my delays in submitting this fic.
I try very hard to be funny. Really. But I think it’s a fail kind of comedy. Some ideas are inspired by “In Fits and Starts” by wynnetimate, which is simply amazing, and a scene’s idea was based on “We Are Collapsed in the Act of Just Being Here” by raven. The main time line of this story is one or two years in the future.
<< Part Two
07:52 PM, 25th December
In which Mr. Santa is Too Sexy to Come Down through the Chimney Top
So Changmin’s eggnog ended up not having any eggs in it.
His boyfriend had made the eggnog just how he liked it, with a little brandy and bourbon, and a sprinkling of ground cinnamon and spice, but it just wasn’t the same.
Changmin stared sadly at the milky white beverage on the buffet table, looking like someone had just cancelled Christmas. Well, Changmin didn’t actually celebrate Christmas per se, but he generally appreciated the season because it always put Jaejoong in this slightly crazy mood that promised lots of good food and lots lots lots of sex.
Now, Changmin just looked as miserable as floating, soggy cornflakes on a Monday morning in a reindeer suit with a fake glowing nose, one that his boyfriend practically abused him to wear-after Jaejoong made an unholy giggle over the teeny peppermint toffee catastrophe that was not to be mentioned again for a very, very long time.
When their guests started arriving-a bubbly Jihyo in her pretty white dress and sweet Geunyoung, who looked much more mature than when he last saw her jumping into mud pools, then Hyunjoong and Seunghyun who rode with Boa, Kyuhyun who was his colleague at the firm, followed by Junho, and then Hyukjae who was Junsu’s weekend soccer teammate of some sort-Changmin still looked like Mangdongie got run over by a public bus.
Boa had cackled at his face when he explained the situation-after she’d finished cackling at the reindeer suit-because the woman didn’t have a single sympathetic bone in her body, while Jihyo, Hyunjoong, and Seunghyun generally didn’t seem to mind the eggnogs-or the suit-so much.
Hyukjae had looked half-amused mostly-mortified at the sight of him, while Kyuhyun had shot him that weird up-and-down look and made vague snorting sound that somehow pissed him off.
Even sweet, painfully sincere Geunyoung had told him that he looked adorable in some sort of misguided attempt to cheer him up.
Changmin hated them all.
Changmin was also a little put off by Shirota Yuu’s appearance, because even though his boyfriend had told him to behave, the handsome half-Spanish half-Japanese was still Jaejoong’s ex and Shirota liked to aggravate Changmin and everyone kind of knew it.
Not to say that Changmin was a petty, jealous bastard just because he wanted to poke pretty boy in the eyeball with a corkscrew when he stared at Jaejoong-who looked all the wrong kinds of adorable in the bright red Santa suit-two seconds too long for Changmin’s liking, but the man even made a few subtle attempts to pull Jaejoong under the mistletoe hanging just above the entrance hallway leading to the study.
It had Changmin itching to rearrange the cover boy face permanently. Instead, Changmin shoved a would-be-traumatized Hyukjae under the mistletoe with Shirota and mouth-butted the two of them together.
Shirota was blissfully quiet after that. Hyukjae was still whimpering in the corner, but Changmin felt considerably happier.
At ten past eight, Yoochun and Junsu arrived.
Junsu appeared first, looking generally harassed in a flurry of pale blue hair and white tiger coat that looked about as expensive as a house. He stalked pass Changmin the moment the door was opened, nearly leaving a 5mm diameter hole in Changmin’s foot with his dangerous looking man-stiletto.
“Well, Junsu-sama, it’s very nice to see you again.” Changmin said, “No hello kisses this time? Can’t say I’m disappointed,”
Junsu glared at him, but then raised an eyebrow at what he was wearing. Changmin managed to act unaffected after being the receiving end of that look the whole night.
“Cute. You look. Like. A very wrong kind of Rudolph,” Junsu scrunched his nose delicately, fingers twitching for his phone to take some physical evidence to weaponize later, “The very insolent, bad example kind. How did Jaejoong-hyung even put you up to this? Are you just cream-whipped or did you drink?”
“No, but you look like I need a drink.” Changmin returned.
“Shut up, you brat.”
Junsu shrugged out of his coat, revealing some sort of fancy electric blue cashmere sweater and leather pants underneath before he turned to face Changmin again.
“So I see your face is a lot older than last week. Do be careful of the early aging epidemic, Minnie-yah. I heard that a lot of bastards have caught it lately.”
“Epidemic. You learned a new word.” Changmin dramatized, awed, “I’m so proud of you, hyung.”
Junsu flipped him off and whipped his head around left and right. “Now, where is my ever so lovely partner?” Junsu spelled partner like a soprano, “I heard he’d traumatized one of our interns so bad, the poor brat went into nunnery in mainland China.”
Oh, right.
It was so easy sometimes to forget that Junsu and Jaejoong were partners who co-owned Eastern Asia Pacific Management, which was probably one of the most notorious hedge fund units in this part of the continent because the both of them really didn’t look a part of it.
The company was founded by Junsu’s father fifteen years ago, but it flourished under Junsu and Jaejoong instead, so the man left all manner of commercial operations to the two of them and was now a president in name only.
Last Changmin heard, the old man was enjoying his retired life away exploring the African’s preserved natural wildlife with his wife.
Changmin sighed, “What did he do this time?”
“Kid screwed up with some four million dollar contract and I think Jaejoong-hyung hung the kid upside down in the main lobby for three hours and used his ribs a pin-poke cushion with wooden chopsticks.”
“Ouch.” Changmin said, almost sympathetic.
Junsu shrugged, “There was no lasting damage other than the mental trauma, I assure you. The problem is that the kid’s father is one of our board directors and he’s not very happy about it so-”
Thump. “Junsu baby~” Thump, thump, thump. “I know you’re in there. Don’t think I didn’t see you at the parking lot, bunny! Did you just pretend not to know me?” Thump, thump. “I’m hurt, you know!” Thump!
“Yoochun-hyung, stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake-” Junsu said, before he-well, Junsu was one of the most fearless, ruthless people that Changmin knew in his life that feared nothing short of an upset kitten, which suited his job as a hostile takeover specialist, but he-ran away. To the kitchen.
Changmin smirked as he unlocked the door and one Park Yoochun came tumbling in, curly hair flying all over the place, looking drunk even without alcohol because it was his default expression. His little brother followed dutifully behind him, trying to look as small as possible from the embarrassment.
Changmin could sympathize with that. After all, Jaejoong wasn’t Yoochun’s soulmate for nothing if not their fascinating capacity of embarrassing their general vicinity.
Yoochun looked at Changmin, blinking. “Hi.” Yoochun said, normal as anything. He blinked again, before he very rudely ogled at Changmin’s glowing red nose. “Dude, you look like a very big, sexy Terminator on antichrist mission.”
Changmin scowled.
“I mean that in the most loving, sexy way.” Yoochun assured.
Before Changmin could say anything, Yoochun was already floating down to the kitchen as if he could smell Junsu from in there.
“Susu~”
“Yah!” Junsu squealed from the kitchen, followed by vague sounds of attempted murder. Changmin worried. For his fridge. “I still have standing restraining orders against you, Park! Aiiiieee, get away from me!”
Well, good to see those two hadn’t changed. Since last week. Changmin wondered why Junsu didn’t just give in already, considering that they had been at it since college, but then he remembered that Yoochun was still sort of married with his fourth wife.
Yoohwan bowed at Changmin, carrying a tiny, fat, pink bundled, drooling baby girl in his arms. “Sorry about that, Changmin-hyung.” He smiled sheepishly, bouncing the baby who was valiantly trying to swallow her own fist and seemed to be quite successful at it, too. “You know what Yoochun-hyung’s like.”
But Changmin didn’t hear him. He was staring at the baby, who was staring back at Changmin with round, brown unblinking eyes. It was cute, in a little disgusting sort of way because she looked like a miniature Yunho slobbering all over Yoohwan’s very obviously designer sweater.
“… Is that Jiyool?” For some reason, she looked alarmingly huge compared to the last time Changmin saw her.
Yoohwan looked down on the baby and grinned. “Yeah, she is. Isn’t she the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?” He cooed at the baby girl, who drooled even more at the attention, and ticked her chin.
He was looking at her adoringly, so much that Changmin thought it couldn’t have been healthy.
The baby slapped Yoohwan’s chin and gurgled happily.
“You’re good with her.” Changmin noted, flatly. “There’s a very healthy motherhood glow about you since I last saw you at Yoochun-hyung’s third wedding.”
Yoohwan laughed, unaffected by Changmin’s bluntness, smoothly avoiding Jiyool when she tried to butt Yoohwan’s nose with her forehead. He scooted the baby at Changmin’s direction, “Do you want to hold her?”
Changmin quickly shook his head and took a step back, because honestly, babies freaked him out a little.
“She’s not going to bite, you know.”
“Yes, she does.” Changmin said, full of conviction as he unconsciously rubbed on his nose. “They all do. They’re just waiting for the right time to strike when you’re least expecting it.”
Because the last time he carried Jaejoong’s innocent looking, mochi like niece, the little brat had nearly taken his nose off his face.
“Well, they don’t always.” Yoohwan conceded. He paused, then furrowed his eyebrows, “You don’t… like kids, hyung?”
Changmin frowned, “I don’t hate them or anything if that’s what you mean. But I know they don’t like me that much either.”
“But Jaejoong-hyung is good with kids, isn’t he? I heard him telling Yoochun-hyung once that if men could get pregnant, he would already. Get pregnant, I mean. With triplets.”
“I’m not going to comment anything because that sounded so many levels not okay.” Changmin said, rubbing at the back of his own neck. “But yeah, I know that he adores all manner of brats under the terrible ninety centimeters mark-god knows why-and I know he’s been hinting on the idea of adopting for a while now.”
He loved Jaejoong, as self-sabotaging the idea as it was, and he really could imagine spending his whole life with the man. But adopting? That sounded scarily like a self-life-sentence.
“You should consider the idea though, hyung.” Yoohwan said, nuzzling Jiyool’s soft baby hair with his nose and tickling her with his sniffing. Jiyool whined and wiggled cutely. “They’re okay to have around. Make things a lot more fun on most days. And I know you and Jaejoong-hyung will make wonderful parents.”
Yeah, Jaejoong would.
Yoohwan’s smile was near blinding and Changmin could only swallow, “… Yeah.” He glanced at Jiyool, then squinted, “Maybe.”
Why was he even considering this so seriously all of a sudden?
Yoohwan laughed at Changmin’s painfully awkward response and shook his head. “Hyung, you and Jaejoong-hyung have been together for… what, six years? Topics like kids and adopting are bound to pop up sometimes.”
Changmin groaned. Of course he knew that. “I just… I just don’t get why it has to.”
Yoohwan looked pensive, thoughtful.
“Well, people told me that kids bring about a sense of completeness to a relationship. You know, like a bonus of happily ever after? I guess everyone is looking for their own perfect ending,” Yoohwan said, his eyes much older than his years,
Genetic, Changmin decided right then, was a very, very strange thing. The fact that the intelligent, mild-mannered Yoohwan was in any way related to that overgrown sleaze ball was enough to raise some very difficult, though dubious, scientific discussions.
“A lot didn’t find them, take our parents for example. Some said it’s impossible to find. But personally, hyung, I think you and Jaejoong-hyung are pretty damn close.”
Changmin sighed again, feeling very out of sorts for some reasons. “Somehow, I think that’s just the sentimentality of the notion. In reality, I don’t think having kids is as emotionally healthy as they made it out to be.”
There would be a lot of parental responsibilities, tantrum fits, teenage rebellions, and lots and lots of money involved. Less time alone. Less sex. Just thinking about it was already giving him indigestion.
“Well, I would say that they’re easy to have around too, but they’re really not, hyung. It’s going to be hard, especially in the beginning. They will be instinctively suspicious.”
Changmin frowned, “But they’re just kids.”
“Exactly. I helped in raising Jiyoolie, hyung.” Yoohwan said, “And I think she knows by now that I love her very much, but I think she also knows I’m not her mother. There’s always that distance.” Yoohwan sounded almost wistful, filled with longing, “In reality, I’m just babysitting her for Yunho-ssi.”
The taller man really didn’t know what to say to that.
“Oh, speaking of Yunho-ssi, he’s going to be here soon by the way. His car got towed somewhere in Banpo-dong.” Yoohwan said, obviously trying to redirect the topic.
Changmin snorted, “Typical of Yunho-hyung.”
Yoohwan nodded, jiggling a fussy Jiyool in his arms, “He couldn’t get a taxi because he left his wallet somewhere and you know he always left his phone at a different place. I think he managed to call Heechul-ssi from a public phone from somewhere though, so Heechul-ssi will pick him up after he got off work.”
Changmin nodded in familiar understanding. Yunho once got back to the dorm without remembering where he put the car key (it turned up in his pocket with his dorm keys). He didn’t even remember where he left the car. So how did he get back?
“Did you know that he actually managed to accidentally lock himself outside the house in nothing but his boxers and socks in the middle of the night?” Yoohwan sighed, his suffering long. “Yeah, that was last week. I don’t know how he even managed to survive so long without any life-changing surgeries.”
“Well, you’re the one who’s dating the man. How would I know if you don’t?”
While it had been a little fascinating when he first found out about gentle, mostly normal Yoohwan dating Yunho a while back, Changmin couldn’t say it was such a bad thing now. Yoohwan wanted someone who would take his feelings seriously and Yunho kind of needed someone who could look after him and Jiyool all the time.
Jaejoong thought it was “super cute” but that was just Jaejoong.
All involved parties were mostly just worried about how Yoochun would react to it when he found out because he was always a little crazy when it concerned his baby brother’s virtue.
Yunho and Yoohwan would probably have to elope to some third world non-English speaking countries because Yoochun would probably try to assassinate Yunho in his sleep with that stuffed deer Yunho still had on his bed from age six to twenty six before going into depression period.
“I kind of told my mom about me dating Yunho-ssi. You know, just in case Yoochun-hyung found out before we’re ready to tell him.”
Changmin blinked, hard. Apparently, he had spoken the last bit out loud, “You what?”
“Told my mom,” Yoohwan repeated, shifting on his feet and prodding at something invisible on the carpet, “Surprisingly, she was pretty chill about it. I’m just glad she didn’t freak out or anything because Yunho-ssi’s a man and a widower.”
“I think after the Greek tragedy that was your brother’s third divorce, you dating a somewhat decent, mostly morally upright, and very single man whose wife died honourably a year ago during child birth is the least of your mother’s big concerns in life.”
Yoohwan nodded absently, “Mom loved him, by the way. Yunho-ssi, I mean.” He added, like they could be talking about anyone else. “She said he was charming, financially stable, and well, he’s older than me so I guess she thought he could look out for me or something.”
Changmin snorted again.
“Oh, Yunho-ssi also fixed our heater when he came over last time. And he complimented mom’s hair and cooking. So yeah, instant brownie points. For mom anyway.”
Changmin rolled his eyes. Yunho never changed, because even though he was probably the kindest between the five of them, he was probably the fakest one too. Changmin meant that in the nicest way possible, of course.
“Besides, mom has a weak spot the size of China for grand, romantic gestures. You know, love conquers all and saves the world from devastation? She probably thinks our relationship is Shakespearean or something.”
It would be Shakespearean when Yoochun found out alright. Like Romeo and Juliet. Or Othello. Or maybe both.
“I thought we were clear that your mom wasn’t the main issue? What about Yoochun-hyung?”
“Mom said that she’ll talk to hyung about it.” Yoohwan said uncertainly, then shrugged vaguely, “Well, eventually. It’s been two weeks since then and no one is dead or anything so I guess she hasn’t.”
The Jung himself materialized by the doorway about five minutes later, appearing strangely remorseful with an irritated Heechul leading him.
Apparently, Heechul had, for some ill-advised reasons, decided to trust Yunho’s sense of direction and the man had gotten the both of them driving around in circles because he remembered a wrong right turn somewhere.
Why Heechul even bothered with Yunho questionably damaged navigation skills when there were such things such as smart phones with satellite GPS was out of him, but he never did understand the things that Heechul did most of the times.
Yunho shuffled about behind Heechul, making the act of putting away shoes appear like self-chastening. His whole countenance changed when he caught sight of his younger lover and daughter though, moving in to kissing a squawking Jiyool’s face all over until the baby kicked him on the chin.
When Yunho just laughed it off and grabbed on Jiyool’s feet to tickle her toes instead, Changmin couldn’t help himself from blurting, “… Is that really fun?”
“Huh?” Yunho echoed.
“That’s supposed to be fun?” Changmin said again, more to himself this time. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
“Huh?” Yunho repeated.
Yoohwan just smiled knowingly at Changmin’s thoughtful frown and whispered to Yunho, “I think Changmin-hyung and Jaejoong-hyung are planning to have a baby soon.”
Yoohwan giggled infectiously and Yunho smiled back, though completely confused, and he was about to kiss Yoohwan for being so cute when Yoochun was suddenly, unwillingly dragged back to the hallway by an equally unwilling looking Hyukjae.
Hyukjae stared between the three of them, grimaced, and proceeded to dump Yoochun on Yunho. “Yeah, no,” He paused and finally settled on begging, “Just stay here. Please. Junsu will kill both of us if you don’t.”
After that, Hyukjae ran back to the kitchen, leaving a sulking Yoochun behind. Yoochun muttered darkly about Hyukjae’s fate and Changmin almost felt pity for Hyukjae.
“I bet monkey boy just want a piece of those luscious, succulent buns for himself.”
But Lee Hyukjae was completely straight, Changmin thought. But he decided not to say anything because Yoochun was impossible to reason with when it concerned Kim Junsu.
“You could take him,” Yunho said loyally to Yoochun.
Yoochun huffed self-importantly, “Of course I could take him.”
Changmin rolled his eyes.
“I heard Jiyoolie! Is she here already?”
Jaejoong, who had been puttering about in the kitchen all the while, suddenly poked his head in the hallway, brightening like LED bulb when he caught sight of the baby girl in Yoohwan’s arm.
“Uwaaaa, Jiyoolie! I miss you so much~ Do you miss Jae Jae too~?”
Jaejoong gently plucked the baby from Yoohwan, cuddling her to his chest and cooing and twirling her around, causing Jiyool to shriek in delight, looking so natural with a baby that Changmin felt like he was gut-punched.
Yoohwan shot him another knowing smirk.
… Great.
- - - - -
Dinner was done a la carte buffet and by the end of it, Changmin was close to committing a strategic second degree mass murder over a piece of ham, Yoohwan was trying to keep Junsu from stabbing his brother with a fork, while Hyunjoong and Jaejoong were already all over each other in a pile of drunken mess with Seunghyun goading them with endless supply of whiskey.
Changmin sighed as he went over to Seunghyun, stopping him from handing the pair another glass of whiskey, earning blubbered, simultaneous protests. “Don’t give him anymore, hyung. Alcohol is bad for his legs and I’m the one who has to deal with the consequences later.”
Seunghyun cocked an eyebrow and glanced at the tipsy Jaejoong, who had abandoned Hyunjoong after the brunet passed out cold on the floor, and was currently giggling and clinging onto Kyuhyun’s side, the latter looking half-flushed half-mortified.
“What? Do they swell or something?”
“No. They spread.”
Seunghyun stared at him.
Changmin shook his head, “You look so precious when horrified.”
“Changmin-ah!”
Changmin choked when Jaejoong suddenly hip-attacked him, effectively tackling him onto the couch. Changmin was then forced to manoeuvre a bit as Jaejoong climbed into his lap, beaming. Changmin looked back at him warily and they spent the next five minutes just staring until Yunho cleared his throat loudly.
“What do you want now, hyung?” Changmin asked finally.
Jaejoong perked, like he had been waiting for Changmin to say that. “I’ve always wanted to try this.” He wriggled some more on Changmin’s lap until he was sitting directly on top of Changmin’s crotch, hands locked behind Changmin’s nape. “Santa, there’s something I want for Christmas.”
At this point, Yunho and Yoohwan looked politely away, steering Jiyool’s line of sight somewhere more appropriate for her age.
Jihyo and Kyuhyun stared at them. Junsu stared at them. Yoochun stared at Junsu, while devouring the eggnog-without-the-eggs.
Shirota settled on looking bitter before leaving the room. Hyukjae and Seunghyun just looked mostly horrified before Hyukjae started gulping down cola to make himself drunk. Geunyoung looked on confused.
Boa was leering. And Heechul… Heechul was also leering.
“I’m Rudolph.” Changmin deadpanned, “And while it doesn’t seem to bother you in the slightest trying to seduce me in that outfit, I am greatly disturbed.”
Jaejoong pouted again, shameless. “So we’re not gonna play the tell secret desires to Santa?”
“No.” Changmin said, dead serious, before trying to roll Jaejoong to his side on the couch but Jaejoong was clinging to him like an Amazonian leech. “We are not. Why? Because I’m Rudolph and because I said so. Now get off me.”
“You won’t do it even in Christmas spirit?” Jaejoong asked again, looking up miserably with fake wobbling lips and wet eyes.
“I’m a Buddhist.” Changmin said as dry as possible, which was pretty dry.
“Ooh, the Santa is Buddhist~” Yoochun slurred, in his limited English and laughed hysterically on his own, all the while cradling the eggnog bowl.
Changmin sighed loudly, rubbing his forehead. Oh, his migraine. “Can someone stop feeding him the eggnog? It’s making him think he’s actually American.” He glared pointedly at Yunho, who was busy trying to make his baby girl spit poor Mangdongie’s ears that she had taken as chew toy, the tiny Maltese whimpering at her mercy.
Yunho quickly snatched the bowl of eggnog from Yoochun, who blinked then flailed.
“But my eggnogs~”
“Yoochunie,” Yunho started, patiently holding Yoochun by the forehead at arm’s length away, “Go bother Junsu.”
Yoochun blinked again and went willingly.
“I can appreciate Buddhism, no problem.” Jaejoong chirruped, smiling cutely and being stubborn all at once. “And Rudolph can be a good, helpful boy and get across my message to Santa later.”
Changmin recognized a fight he wouldn’t win when he saw it, so he sighed and blew on his bangs instead, “Fine.” He scooted Jaejoong up like the man weighed cotton and settled him onto his thighs.
All lucid pairs of eyes plus a squawking Jiyool’s were suddenly turned to him and it just hit him like a bullet in the face what he had gotten himself into.
He glanced at Jaejoong, who looked bubbly with anticipation and Changmin inwardly bemoaned the “things that he did for Kim Jaejoong” as he cleared his throat and said, “… T-Tell Santa what do y-you… want… for Christmas, J-Jaejoong-ah?”
“Man, you guys are so fucked up.” Boa commented from the side, trying to target her mouth with the glass but kept missing and spilling on Seunghyun.
Junho and Kyuhyun were watching full of fascination from their place on the floor. Hyukjae was still trying to drink himself drunk with cola while Junsu sat next to him, primly inspecting his perfectly manicured nails while ignoring Yoochun, who was clinging to Junsu’s leg and rubbing his face there, with practiced ease.
Heechul was still leering.
Changmin glared at all of them.
Jaejoong, who didn’t seem to mind the attention at the slightest, titled his head to the side and dropped his eyes down at Changmin’s covered crotch. They lit brighter than the damn tree. “All I want for Christmas is inside your pants, Santa.”
Changmin heard Junho let out a poorly disguised hacking cough while Yunho and Hyukjae hacked violently on their drinks and proceeded to die. Boa just snorted into her wineglass of kiwi punch and made a series of complicated eye rolls, Kyuhyun yawned, while Geunyoung still looked completely bemused.
Heechul’s leer by now was effectively capable of making a full-grown man cry.
Junsu finally kicked Yoochun.
Changmin felt like kicking himself as his cheeks and ears burned up. “Oh for-Hyung, get off me. Now. Or I’m not giving you anything from inside anywhere.”
Jaejoong stared at him, opting to be gut-wrenchingly cute, “Not even if you can punish me for being a bad boy, Santa? I’ve been a very, very baaad boy~”
“Stop talking to my dick, hyung.” Changmin pinched Jaejoong’s cheeks, stretching his lips while at it, and lifted his gaze to Changmin’s face-level and the younger man smirked, “And bad boys don’t get Christmas presents from Santa.”
Jaejoong pouted, sniffing when Changmin plucked him from his lap and deposited him in the empty space next to him.
“You’re such a meanie.”
Changmin grinned, “I try very, very hard.”
- - - - -
After dinner, while leaving the other to procrastinate in the living room with Changmin and Seunghyun playing the babysitters, Jaejoong managed to bully a few people into doing the dishes with him because he was a petty tyrant like that.
Yunho and Hyukjae were roped in almost immediately and Junsu had actually offered to help. But that was just because he was avoiding Yoochun.
“I can’t believe him!” Junsu said as he furiously scrubbed on a plate, looking strangely at home wearing a frilly pink dish apron-Jihyo and Boa’s idea of a joke-over his designer clothes. “Why can’t he just leave me alone? And what the fuck happened to my restraining orders?” He scrubbed harder.
Jaejoong hummed as he flicked soap suds at Hyukjae and Yunho. Hyukjae looked generally harassed, but dutiful. Yunho dropped a plate. “Well, I just think it’s super cute that he’s still in love with you even after ten years.”
Junsu scowled at his plate, “He’s a frivolous bastard who can’t keep it in his pants to save his life. If you happen to forget something, hyung, you attended all his four weddings and two of his divorce trials!”
“Well, Yoochunie is a little… fussy.”
Yunho hand-slipped with another plate. He stared sadly at the million glass pieces on the floor before he went to get the broom.
“Fussy! None of his relationships ever lasted longer than a long bathroom trip!” Junsu huffed, “I’m surprised that none of his exes had lined up in front of his door to kill him. Or castrate him. Yes, castrate is good. And everyone wondered why I never dated the perv in college.”
Jaejoong opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, paused, and he must have thought better of it, because he said instead, “Well, I dated the Shim for six years and everyone wondered about that, too. But that’s because he’s kind of a six-and-one-and-a-half inches dick and that gets me hot.”
Junsu suddenly looked thoughtful and Hyukjae meep-ed.
Yunho returned with the broom but he accidentally nudged a stack of clean plates into the floor with his butt. He was vetoed out of the kitchen after that to avoid more innocent plate murders. Yunho trudged away from the kitchen with his head hung low like a kicked puppy.
Jaejoong smiled serenely, brimming with innocence. “I mean six feet one and a half inch tall dickhead.” He grinned, “And that gets me very hot.”
“You totally did that on purpose!” Hyukjae sputtered, shuddering.
Junsu remained wholly undisturbed, “But just how did you end up with him anyway? I mean, you guys were friends since forever. I get that. But how did you end up dating him?”
Changmin was more sarcastic than Junsu could handle most of the time and he didn’t understand half of the things Changmin said for the rest of it.
If he had to be fair, Changmin was more “sly” than actually hostile, but Junsu’s basic parameter of common sense didn’t exactly cover how a normal human being could date Shim Changmin. For six years.
Not that Jaejoong was the shining example of “normal.” Junho still affectionately thought Jaejoong was an alien.
Jaejoong’s eyes lit up suddenly. Which was pretty alarming, “Oh, you remember that Christmas party six years ago at Jihyo-noona’s place?”
Junsu raised an eyebrow, “The one where Jisung ended up dancing on the table in a speedo, Yoohwan ended up swallowing a pack of condoms under the mistletoe because he refused to kiss Kim Jongwoon, and Yunho ended up in the seven-minute closet with that transvestite with the hairy legs?”
“It was Hangeng by the way.” Jaejoong said, “The transvestite. Heechul thought it would help him blend in with the local culture.”
The eyebrow rose higher, nearly disappearing under Junsu’s blue hair, “By dressing him in drag?”
Jaejoong shrugged, “It’s Heechul.”
“So what happened back at Jihyo-noona’s place?” Hyukjae interrupted before the conversation could spiral into something more awkwardly embarrassing.
“Did you remember me and Changmin having a little… uh, tiff before that?” Jaejoong bubbled as he suddenly obsessed over a cowlick he spotted sticking out on the side of his head on the stainless steel surface of their fridge. He couldn’t get it to lie down and he fussed with it.
Junsu made a disgusted face, “You mean the month-long cold war period that you two spent looking moony and as miserable as sick puppies on angst steroids?” He gestured the air vaguely, “Changmin’s best-friend-hyung-love-freak-out era? That? Yeah, I remember that.”
“I just love the way you put it, Junsu-yah. It sounds… debonair.” Jaejoong mmh-ed.
“Do you even know what that means?”
“Anyway, how we got together was sort of romantic. Shakespearean even.” Jaejoong said, non-sequitur, “Changminnie kind of went out all Mike Tyson to save me from this perv who was trying to feel me up at the party because I was drunk. And oh god, he looked so hot all angry and growling like that.”
Hyukjae scratched his hair, confused. Well, it did sound a little romantic, a somewhat typically violent sort of way.
“Then he dragged me away and locked us up in Jihyo-noona’s bathroom. He brought an actual mistletoe above our heads and he was blushing and I was like “awww, so sweet” because damn, Changmin is sexy when he’s trying to be mushy.”
Jaejoong looked extremely pleased with life, which at least made one of them.
“And he was like “hey, I think we should kiss wanna kiss” and it was so unff and all, I couldn’t have said no.”
Junsu and Hyukjae just stared at him, because it looked like the safest option to take at this point.
Jaejoong had given up trying to smooth down the cowlick and just suddenly decided that it was cute anyway, like a charm point. He poked at the wayward lock of hair, smiling when it just coiled back cutely. “That must be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and Lee Taemin asked me out once.”
“Umm, that was… very sweet?” Hyukjae tried, because really, what else could he say to that?
“I appreciate people who are straightforward,” Jaejoong explained.
Neither Junsu nor Hyukjae asked him anything more on the topic for a long time after that.
- - - - -
It was nearly midnight when the lights suddenly went off without warning.
For a second, Changmin wondered if it was a power failure before he realized that the sound system was still playing. Then, he was suddenly pulled forward by the collar and found himself kissing a pair of familiar lips.
Changmin kissed back, because it was the most natural thing to do as his hand found their usual spot on thin, girly waist.
They were not the only couple in the room that was quick to steal a kiss in the momentary darkness, but Changmin had all the rights in the world to feel like they were.
Jaejoong pulled away breathlessly, his eyes gleaming even in the dark and Changmin could trace a pleased smile playing on his puffy lips with his own.
“Merry Christmas, Changmin-ah.”
Before he even got to say it back, the light was switched on again-just as suddenly as it went off-and Changmin realized something in the room had shifted, the status quo, a current, or maybe just the general feel of it.
He realized what exactly shifted when Jaejoong tugged him towards the kitchen’s direction and he nearly squealed, sort of embarrassingly, when he saw the girls plus Jaejoong’s two sisters, Minyoung and Sooyoung (Changmin didn’t even know they were here), setting the buffet table that now looked like a homemade version of cake opera with a cocktail combo assortment of mini gingerbread cheesecake, red velvet Bûche de Noël, triple-brownies raspberry trifle, hazelnut praline torte, toasted coconut and vanilla bean meringues, even the traditional pumpkin pie with pecans and spice.
And was that-
“Eggnog mousse cake? With almond dacquoise?”
“Yeah,”
Changmin had to take a deep breath.
And sitting in the middle of it all was a croquembouche, obviously handmade and shaped like Christmas tree, a glittering high-piled cone of chocolate truffles, whipped ice cream profiteroles, and macarons (salted milk caramel, bourbon, blueberry, chai, coffee feuilletine, liquorice, pistachio, raspberry, matcha) held together with webs of thick, gooey caramel strings and peppered with sugared powder almond and cinnamon.
It was half his height, looked sweet enough to kill a grown man with immediate diabetes, and fuck, he loved his boyfriend.
He was so going to get some of those adoption papers even if it killed him, Changmin decided, staring so much that he only realized he did that when someone (Yunho, who’d probably decided to take pity on him before he drowned in his own pool of drool or something) closed his jaw for him.
He elbowed Yunho painfully in the ribs and scowled when he realized that the rest of the party was already crowding his kitchen’s space, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the buffet table.
He turned away again and when his eyes landed back on the buffet table, Changmin’s eyes turned dreamy and he looked so alarmingly moved like he could cry. He sniffed instead, “You-I don’t-just how did-?”
“I sent an emergency SOS signal earlier.” Jaejoong explained, grinning sheepishly, “Called my mom and a few sisters to help out when you went to get the snow cones.”
Ah, so that was why he was so adamant about getting the damned snow cones. Changmin suddenly felt a little guilty for leaving that explicit voicemail on his mailbox. He wondered if he could get around deleting it before Jaejoong got to it.
But then again, with his brand of humour, Jaejoong might find it funny instead.
“I just… wanted everything to be perfect for you. I thought we should have something special, you know? Considering that this is our sixth year anniversary and all that too, and I really, really wanted to surprise you for a change, and well-Surprise!”
Jaejoong was babbling so Changmin leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It was so suddenly, so unexpectedly that Jaejoong could do nothing but freeze very awkwardly.
“It’s perfect.” Changmin grinned when pulling away, his left eye crinkling, mismatching the right, and cheeks pinking, “You’re perfect.”
Jaejoong stared at Changmin, a hand over his mouth because holy shit, did Shim “how about if I staple my PDA to your eyeballs if you try that” Changmin just kiss him in front of the very people who could be their whole career in social life?
Changmin was already scrambling to the buffet table before Jaejoong could say anything else, staring dreamily at the dainty confectionaries before shoving Yoochun away from poking his croquembouche, baring his teeth threateningly when Yunho was about to touch the eggnog mousse cake, and elbowing Shirota shamelessly aside (the man wasn’t even near the buffet table).
The sight made Jaejoong toss his head back and laugh, running after to pinch and pull Changmin’s now cake-stuffed puffy cheeks so hard, the younger man nearly dislocated something when he one-touched him back just as hard.
As hard as they loved each other.
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11:49 PM, 25th December 2008
Fact: The Inner Contents of Mistletoes’ Fruit, Viscin, Bears a Great Resemblance to Human Semen.
Changmin decided to confront Jaejoong during a Christmas party at Song Jihyo’s place. Her parents left on a six-week cruise on the Aegean Sea and left the house to their daughter and their partially deaf, genial Pilipino housekeeper.
It was impossible for Jihyo to resist the temptation of throwing an American-style frat party of sort given the situation.
He knew Jaejoong would be invited because Jaejoong was always invited everywhere.
Changmin had waited all night for a chance to strike, imitating a hunter waiting to go in for the kill, which was dumb because it was only Jaejoong who was his best friend. The chance came when Jaejoong stood up from the small group of people playing rum-and-cola bong to go to the toilet.
Changmin followed him at a distance, watching amusedly as a wide-eyed, incoherently mumbling Jaejoong stumbled and nearly tripped everywhere, bumping into things, and clinging on walls, attempting to crawl on them, obviously out of it.
He even bowed in apology at a fat dynasty Ming vase he nearly toppled over from a stand, mistaking it for Yunho (“Sorry-Oh, Yunja-yah! How did you get so fat in one night, Yunja~?” He flailed then giggled then stopped suddenly) and Changmin had to smile.
Jaejoong was a cute drunk.
Apparently, the amount of alcohol he’d had effectively killed his already impaired internal GPS so Jaejoong was going around in small circles and rubbing his cheeks in frustrations while trying to figure out which way to go when the toilet was just ahead and right of him.
Changmin chuckled quietly, all nervousness gone, and he was about to approach Jaejoong when Changmin noticed one of their seniors, a lean, rather sensual stranger-the kind who looked like a sexual predator and knew it, too-who was leaning languidly against a nearby wall, smoking a cigarette.
The man was gazing at Jaejoong with predatory gleam in his eyes, lips curling into a thin-lipped smirk as he blew a smoke ring and dropped the bud, toeing it on the marbled surface before he headed for Jaejoong.
Changmin gritted his teeth, knuckles white, watching narrow-eyed as Jaejoong staggered again, this time falling conveniently into the stranger’s open arms.
Jaejoong looked up groggily, completely defenceless. The stranger smiled beatifically, offering to bring Jaejoong to rest up at one of the rooms upstairs, voice soft and husky, full of promises as he whispered right into Jaejoong’s ears, “You are so drunk, sweetheart.”
Large, obtrusive hands found purchase on the slim waist and soft, exposed skin. He gently manoeuvred a confused Jaejoong to the stairs, the unfamiliar face alight with anticipation as Jaejoong moaned slightly in disorientation, weakly clinging to the man for support when they started walking.
Before Changmin even realized what he was doing, he was already walking up to the pair, in large, vengeful strides before he grabbed the stranger by the shoulder, turned him around and socked the man on the jaw with almost enough force to take a head off the neck before anyone could do something.
Not that they would do anything though, because Shim Changmin was rather notorious and he wasn’t afraid to cause trouble or break things-and bones-when pissed.
That, he was this six feet two guy who had taken up boxing since middle school as a hobby.
The commotion seemed to wake Jaejoong though and, while he wasn’t sure what exactly just happened, he was watching Changmin-his Changmin, who seemed impossibly taller and so much more handsome than he had been a month ago, but maybe that was just Jaejoong who was missing him a little too much-with wide, disbelieving eyes.
Changmin glanced coldly at the sprawled man groaning on the floor before turning his eyes to Jaejoong, who stiffened at the attention then shuffled on his feet like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to run to Changmin or away.
Changmin felt like saying something but he bit the insides of cheeks instead, holding back from shouting something stupid in front of captive audience.
So instead, he reached forward and tugged on Jaejoong’s thin wrist, landing another swift, but decidedly painful kick at the man who was still prostrated on the floor, causing him to choke in pain, before half-dragging Jaejoong away, the smaller man stumbling after him, unable to match his wider strides but too afraid to say anything.
Jaejoong felt himself panicking a little inside. While he knew that Changmin would never do anything to hurt him-well, maybe a little if their one-touches were anything to go with, but Changmin would never really harm him. That much-Jaejoong had never seen Changmin so mad either.
That was saying something because Changmin was mad a lot.
Jaejoong found himself being shoved into one of the bathrooms on the first floor, eyes widening when Changmin followed him inside and closed the door behind him, pawing the lock.
Changmin honestly didn’t know what he was doing, locking himself with Jaejoong in Jihyo’s bathroom when he was supposed to be declaring his fucking grand love to the man.
He’d rehearsed this, played it over and over again in his head, using his pillow and Junsu as occasional practice targets-which nearly made Junsu cry in mortification-and made a fucking script on the back of his planner.
He opened his mouth, closed it again.
“C-Changmin-ah?” Jaejoong wet his lips, unsure.
Changmin’s first instinct was to kiss those lips until his brain broke. His second was to run away. Maybe to Japan or Antarctica so he could make friends with the polar bear community there and become a nomad Eskimo or something because Jaejoong was staring at him like Jaejoong wasn’t sure what to do besides looking very awkward.
No one said anything for a painfully long time.
Both of them jumped, startled, when some delirious, weed-smoked drunk outside suddenly banged on the door, rattling the knob and slurring at them to “hurry the fuck up” because he needed to take a piss.
Changmin scowled and slammed the side of his fist against the door hard enough to take the paint off, nearly missing how Jaejoong jumped again at the sound. “Fuck off,” He growled and the rattling stopped.
Jaejoong shrunk even more and cast his eyes down, feeling smaller, because after nearly a month of almost no direct contact, Changmin suddenly seemed so much bigger-seriously, would the boy ever stop growing, Jaejoong had stopped growing years ago-stronger, his hands so much larger and-what’s that?
Jaejoong’s eyes widened at the sight of the skinny twig in Changmin’s hand, fingers clenched so tight around it, that the edge of Changmin’s fist was a blotchy white.
“… Changmin-ah?”
Jaejoong was drunk, was disoriented, but he was also very aware of Changmin’s presence.
Changmin swallowed thickly, like he had been force fed molasses-or tar, yes, black evil tar-and cleared his throat, awkward as anything. “Yeah. So… uh, I get that we’re supposed to kiss someone under the mistletoe?” Changmin said, not quite a question, waving the mistletoe in his hand.
Jaejoong stared at him blankly. Changmin felt like such a failure.
But then, what seemed like understanding filled Jaejoong’s beautiful eyes, making them brighter, more lucid. With only the slightest bit of hesitation, as if wanting to make sure that he did not misunderstand this, he leaned closer to Changmin and stepped up on his toes, closing their height differences, and giving Changmin enough space to back off comfortably if he did happen to misread it.
“So?” Jaejoong breathed, heart palpitating, threatening to burst and made a very gory bathroom floor.
The younger man stuttered, “S-So, I got this mistletoe-” that he secretly stole from above Jihyo’s entrance hallway (because Jihyo’s idea of a sadistic, evil joke was to trap unwilling, crack-ish couples under the damned mistletoe, one of which resulted in Yoohwan swallowing a pack of condom just so that he didn’t have to kiss Kim Jongwoon when they both happened to arrive at the same time).
“So?” Jaejoong was so close, their faces almost touching, lips brushing against each other in a private bubble.
Changmin felt his face heat up and this was just so embarrassing he could die. “Umm, so-” He cleared his throat then raised the sprig just above their heads and mumbled in gibberish, “So I think I should be kissing… s-someone… no?” He squeaked, embarrassingly, at the end.
Jaejoong closed his eyes. “… Yeah?”
Jaejoong’s lips were dry and slightly salty-tangy-bitter from all the drinks he’d had and Changmin just knew he had been waiting for this all his life and suddenly, he knew what he had to say and do.
Fuck the scripts; he wasn’t in a drama.
Changmin dropped the sprig and Jaejoong squeaked when he found himself being lifted into narrow counter next to the sink. He automatically wrapped his arms around Changmin’s shoulders, his knees bracketing Changmin’s waist as the taller boy stepped into the open v of his legs.
Changmin did not say anything else, lips a hairbreadth away above the openness of Jaejoong’s mouth. Their breaths mingled heavily, each breathing himself more into the other’s lungs until they only knew each other’s air.
This was nice, Changmin thought. Standing up, he was nearly a whole head taller than Jaejoong, but with Jaejoong like this, Changmin only had to tilt just so and Jaejoong would be at the perfect height to kiss.
But then again, Changmin never loved him because he was perfect for Changmin.
There was never a “because.” He just did. Loved.
Yeah, Changmin had kind of loved him all along, didn’t he?
Jaejoong pulled away slightly, reaching up and trapping Changmin’s head so he’d be at direct eye-level with Jaejoong.
They looked into each other’s eyes, so familiar yet so different now that they both got their hearts lined up in the shooting range. Changmin was all too aware that he had Jaejoong caged between him and the counter, Jaejoong breath fanning over his cheek, smelling sweet even with the sharp taste of tequila on his breath.
“… Why now?” Jaejoong asked him, looking helpless and small and sad, and any yellow caution tape that they couldn’t shed as “best friends forever” were ripped down and now everything was laid bare, out in the openness between them.
The question had Changmin feeling like having stomach cramps or vomiting from sheer nerves, but he figured he wouldn’t look so handsome with a potential peptic ulcer.
The older man looked up at him with wide, vulnerable eyes that nearly melt Changmin’s heart into a puddle of goo right there in the middle of the bathroom. “Why now, Changmin-ah? Tell me, I need to know-”
Jaejoong was just so close, too lovely so Changmin kissed him hard on the mouth. Jaejoong frantically returned the kiss with a consuming desperation.
Jaejoong made a soft, breathy hitch at the back of his throat, his wet eyes glazed and skin flushed pink. Changmin suddenly felt like his own skin was too tight and he was hot from his cheeks to his neck and chest as he rubbed slow circles on the smooth, heated skin under Jaejoong’s shirt.
“There’s never been now or then, hyung.” Changmin whispered, nuzzling his forehead against Jaejoong’s.
Jaejoong closed his eyes when Changmin rubbed their noses together, stroking his cheeks with the pads of calloused fingers, a habit that would carry on into their relationship.
“There’s only always been. I just… never realized it.”
When you’ve been right here all along.
“… Oh my god,” Jaejoong muttered, being so close that Changmin was a blur of tanned skin and mismatched eyes as he reached up to pinch Changmin’s cheeks, pulling them to each side, causing the younger man to wince. “This is really happening, isn’t it?” Jaejoong said, full of awe before leaning up to kiss Changmin again.
Changmin laughed, but the sound was muffled because Jaejoong was kissing him again.
He wasn’t sure how long they spent kissing like that, but Changmin never had the chance to do that before, just kiss like they had all the time in the world, even though reality remained that they were locked in Jihyo’s bathroom with some odd thirty people milling about behind two inches of definitely-not-soundproofed wooden door.
There was a singularly delirious moment where Jaejoong wondered if this was still last week, when he fell asleep on the couch with his phone pressed to his forehead, replaying Changmin’s saved voicemails as comfort, and was only dreaming.
But the warm, solid heat that was Changmin’s body was something sublime, the hot slickness of his lips wasn’t something that Jaejoong could’ve ever imagined.
It was just so much better.
With that realization, Jaejoong couldn’t have stopped that dam of swelling, messy emotions within him from breaking if he wanted.
“I love you, Changmin-ah.” He whispered, the words slipping from him easily, familiarly, fitting in between them, into their skin, and remaining there.
“I lo-umm, you know-y-you too.” It was the perfect ending, but he kind of chickened out at the last minute so Changmin fumbled a little and ended up just kissing Jaejoong again, a peck this time, somehow sweet, like candies and first loves.
“… Yeah, I know.” Jaejoong whispered, smiling. He leaned forward to kiss Changmin on the chin before nuzzling Changmin’s neck.
Changmin smelled so good.
Jaejoong closed his eyes, wanting to drown in everything that was Changmin. He would have a very nice dream tonight, preferably filled with this handsome young man that he had been in love with for the last four years.
“Changminnie…?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ll wait for you, okay?” He looked up at Changmin, smiling and kissing again, because he could never get enough of kissing Shim Changmin in this lifetime. But don’t make me wait too long.
And Changmin understood.
It would be a year later before Changmin would be able to say the L-word without feeling like running away, without thinking that Jaejoong would slip from his grasp like sand like his mother did so many years ago before she left him and his father for a stranger whose face Changmin didn’t remember anymore but whom he remembered had been nearly half his mother’s age.
His mother was flighty, had always been erratic. She could never really stay rooted in one place and be content with life. She had loved Changmin and his father, but maybe she just loved herself a little more.
But then Jaejoong, his gentle, patient, loving Jaejoong, who was selfless and nothing like his mother, knew him better than anyone else.
And somehow, Changmin knew Jaejoong loved him, more than anyone should ever have really, and knew that his heart would be safe here, locked away in a tiny treasure chest with no keys and remained forever like sands and water and diamonds in the sun.
But for now, Changmin breathed softly, now evenly, because, “Yeah.” Some things didn’t have to be said out loud.
Still, he tightened his hold around Jaejoong, nuzzling his soft hair and neck, until they were waterproof tight and inseparable.
Jaejoong closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, his voice almost dreamy. “Merry Christmas, Changmin-ah.”
He turned his face to the right, whispered, breath sticky against Jaejoong’s ear.
“… Merry Christmas, hyung-ah.”
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Part Four>>