i am not okay
i knew things were too good to be true
and everything would crash down
and i think thats happening

ah im so happy
its so scary
everything is going so well right now
way too well
and im just waiting for it to all crash down around me
but im really hoping it wont
cross your fingers for me :]

I've been reading a lot lately. It just gives me something to do to pass the time while I'm babysitting. It gives me something to do while I lay out by the pool. I havent been reading anything too deep, just easy reading. I've taken an interest in chuck Palahnuik. He wrote Fight Club--which i read. it was alright ( Read more... )

fuckkkkkkkkkkk.

its 4:20.
AM!!
I CANT SLEEP!

i guess i should post a real update now ( Read more... )

lessons of the night:

**not all guys are horny assholes.

**and i always have fun hanging out with my brother, even if it is only for 15 minutes. (not at all connected to the statement above!!)

i have so much to say. and ive been thinking so much the past few days.

i just cant bring myself to say it all, although i think it would make me feel better.

its almost easier to just lie to myself.

i guess i just need to learn to be comfortable with who i am.

and i've learned my lesson. thats not happening again any time soon, trust me.

and this is highschool, its supposed to be like this? right?

i just love summer so much. i love not having to worry about school. i love going to sleep at 4, and having to be up by 7. i love hanging out with my friends. i love the late nights. i love the sunshine. i love laying out. i love the boys i babysit everyday. i love driving around with no where to go. i love being 17. i love feeling alive.

burger king has veggie burgers, if anyone was wondering. theyre not on the menu, you have to ask for them. ok.