In sickness and in health

[pixie_a_la_mode]

I finally had my mental break down. Thank god. Thank blessed god. It started on tuesday. I just started to cry and cry and cry, everything was numb except my head. I felt the heat moving from inside me to my head it was burning so badly I kept crying. I couldn't get a word out it hurt so much. I felt everything churning inside my stomach I wanted

Comments

[drmeglet]

*hugs* Good for you for reaching out about your breakdown. I know I've been there before. Well, not there where you are with Shaun and your family and doggies and stuff ;)

Don't get yourself all guilted about how it's your fault, it'll make you feel worse and spiral back down, or at least it would for me. Think instead about how strong you were, and how you survived it, how even in the depths of despair you were able to pull something together and let those who love you know what was wrong so they could help take care of you. You did a heck of a job. I'm serious. And when you're ready for it, we can talk about tricks to keep it from happening again. Because it's possible to live through it and learn to keep the depths of despair from dragging you down over and over. And I know you can do it! It's like the weather, bad storms come, but you can prepare for them, and have your trenchcoat, umbrella, and galoshes.

gawd, do I sound as frickin fake cheerful as all that? It's not supposed to sound that way...

[pixie_a_la_mode]

Thanks auntie. I do feel better but some how I still feel more alone when more of my friends crowd around me. Some times I feel abandoned by shaun because he seems to enjoy other things now then begin with me. I guess the root of all of my pain is my own low self-confidence. I realize I need to change it but sometimes I don't know if I can take how long and lonely the road is.

[claudiasharon]

*hugs*

I love that song.