recurring loop

[pitbullpotpie]

Ugh - I'm up late yet a-fucking-gain... Can't sleep - finally had to take something for it. Now just waiting for it to kick in

Comments

[justanotherg33k]

I have been going on walks a lot recently to deal with my white noise (and I have had quite a bit as well). Sort of trying to combine exercise and meditation, since I don't seem to have much time for myself. Not sure where you would walk in your area, nor if it'd help you, but something to maybe try.

If nothing else, know that you are not alone.

does it help you though?

[pitbullpotpie]

I exercise a lot... and it just doesn't seem to make me feel better. Plus - I feel like if I go out for a walk - I have to bring the dogs with me. Then I have to watch out for other people having their dogs off leash... I swear... Yea, I'm a big loser :)

Thanks - it does help knowing I'm not alone.

Re: does it help you though?

[justanotherg33k]

I've started with the walks relatively recently, so the jury is still out.
It does seem to be helping me focus my thoughts a bit, though with the distractions you are describing, it may not be ideal for you.
My schedule being what it is, this is my best shot at getting in both exercise and meditation. ;-)

But, yeah, you are definitely not alone, and I hope that you find something that works for you.

[ninsun]

there is nothing crazy about that. everyone does that on occasion.
It just means you need a long vacation!
::hugs:: sweetie!

and the worst part is...

[pitbullpotpie]

We just got back from Greece and Turkey in mid-April. Didn't feel any more relaxed than before I left. Sucks.

I think the true vacation will be me being here in town and not flying anywhere for two months (July and August). I'm SOOOO looking forward to this.

Thanks hun :)

[calico]

feel lucky if sleep aides work. though i do feel what you are going through. do you think a day at a spa wouldd help. or you can use my apt for a day since there is nobody that disturbs me here.

you're such a sweetie

[pitbullpotpie]

I appreciate the offer... but I've got to be around my 'puter in case someone needs me. The phone doesn't work for geeks :)

A day at the spa probably wouldn't help because it's not so much my body - but my mind. I think I need an erase and reprogram. Tee hee.

[uglyfish]

It's not crazy, but I know it makes you feel that way. I overwhelm myself with worry sometimes. I usually blame it on hormones but I know it's more than that. I always used to believe that if I worried about everything enough then it couldn't happen because I was expecting it. It hasn't worked yet. But I guess it kind of stuck with me and takes hold sometimes.

Some days I really miss being young, when I could do whatever I felt at the moment and I had nothing to lose. Now I love my family, friends and life. I have more to lose and so I worry.

Just know that you are not alone. We all love you and understand completely if you need time alone or if you need to talk. Just take the time you need for yourself before it makes you crazy (or crazier than normal anyway).

thanks so much!!!

[pitbullpotpie]

I really appreciate this... I don't know what is making me this way at all. I do know that I finally got 9 hours of sleep last night and I feel a bit more human. But man.. when I get stuck - I get stuck good ;)

My friend said she thought I might have some post-traumatic stress disorder stuff going on. This may actually be somewhat accurate. When things happen that are beyond my control - I really freak. And since I've been dealing with the latest with hydrocodone and alcohol (not together) - I haven't really been dealing with it. Now that I'm sober - I think it's all hitting me. And I can't quite process it.

I really appreciate your sweet, sweet words. Know that I love the stuffins out of you as well. I know you've had it tough too.

Will we see you tonight at Carpe?

Re: thanks so much!!!

[uglyfish]

I think we might just venture out. I really shouldn't but I wanna. We'll see how Brian feels when he gets off work.