out of consideration for my buddies, this journal is now

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haiku are easy
sometimes they don't make much sense
refrigerate them

Here I am. I made it. It is quarter to six in the morning and I just finished my egg breakfast. I'm about to make myself some coffee. I'm going to get on my bike and head to Santa Monica at 6:30, half an hour before the sun is scheduled to come up. Espresso on the stove, dishes in the sink. This reminds me of something the kindly man said to ( Read more... )

No I'm not going to move to Venice to be someone's roommate in a tiny house just because it's closer to school. Yes it is fine living at home and how could I possibly part ways with my East Side Hos? Shame on me for allowing to re-open that discussion in the first place. Bad idea.

I extremely failed to wake up at 6 this morning. I woke up at 9.

EITHER i continue riding down the tracks I've laid, towards teaching, towards science, towards revolution

OR i get a tolerable job, my own apartment, sign a lease, see what happens.

I am sick of speaking to the people I have to speak to every day. I am through navigating the waters of approval and concilience. I want to run away for ever, and leave everyone behind. Eat my dust, you mothers! I'm going to the desert with a canteen of chamomile and $372.15 in life savings. If only.

last night at around 8:30, I poured myself a glass of wine to slow myself down so it would be easy for me to fall asleep around 10:00, so I could get up at 6 and go for a little bike ride, in preparation for the grueling routine I'm taking on starting jan. 2. It is now 8:30 in the morning and I am stumbling around the house, picking up wine ( Read more... )

TEDDY and CREATIVE FICTION PROSE are facing each other at a table in a drab Chinese restaurant in Queens. It is day outside, but a dull day, with a leaden sky and bare tree branches harrowing the low clouds with every gust of wind. Prose eats steadily, while Teddy sullenly pushes the contents of a barely-touched meal around her plate with a ( Read more... )

this is embarassing.


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