You know, I had the feeling all along that you had been more or less co-erced into what happened, dear. There was such a dichotomy in the *tone* of your announcement, that I got the impression it was not really your true feelings. So I was relieved, and yet not surprised, by your return. I am only sorry that you lost so many of your stories over it.
Sometimes, for the best of reasons, and with the best of intentions, it is those we love most dearly who can bully us the worst. It is knowing that they care, and are doing the bullying out of true concern, that makes it difficult to resist. When those we love do not understand us, it can hurt a *lot*.
At any rate, I am glad you were able to get past what happened. It would have been sad if you had lost forever something that meant so much to you, just because of another person's misunderstanding.
Exactly. I just couldn't think, at the time, of the way to say it that would not be disrespectful of someone who has done so much for me. I would rather look bad than her, and that's a fact.
*hugs you tight* I completely understand from the bottom of my heart and spirit. I apparently missed what happened in May 2005. For a while I had problems with LOTR spiritually. It's because I was letting it fill up the time I should have been spending with God. Once I realized that, I backed off from LOTR a bit and rebalanced things. I can still enjoy it all as I once did...both LOTR and my spiritual life. I think it's important to find balance. You're one of the sweetest people I've met from this whole LOTR experience. I'm sure your dearest friends here would agree...the LOTR experience has allowed many new friendships to be formed...some that will last a lifetime.
I'm sorry that you had to go through this alone, in a way, and ended up doing something that you didn't feel totally good about.
However, it sounds like you have used the time to rethink things, which is not bad. If you are now doing things because they feel right to you, then a positive has emerged.
I hope that your attempt to keep peace in your home doesn't impinge on your ability to do what you need to do. I don't see why it would, really. But if you are feeling torn, you can always bring it to your journal. We would give you support and a listening ear!
No need to feel sad. I remember times when christian brothers and sisters were horrified by LOTR and even the Narnia-series by C.S. Lewis (huh...?). It always felt to me like a total lack of imagination and a lamentable mistrust in their creator. As if anything they don't understand must have been inspired by the devil! *gives a hearty snort* I can only say that I am deeply glad that you came back.
I know for a fact how hard this was for you -- and I love and respect you very, very much for how you've seen your way through it all. It's difficult to be alone in a situation like that and not know what to do; I'm not sure you could have done it much differently, really, and still preserve those family relationships which are important to preserve.
It took a lot of strength and humility and love to come back here and say all this to us and still show how much you continue to love and respect your family, in spite of them not supporting you in this way. That means a lot, and shows clearly what a special person you are! You were special before, and you're even more so now, truly.
((((((((((((((((Lin))))))))))))))))) She has supported me in SOOOOO many ways, and shown more patience than most, that this one thing that we didn't agree on I'd rather look bad than complain about her because she really felt it was best for me spiritually.
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Sometimes, for the best of reasons, and with the best of intentions, it is those we love most dearly who can bully us the worst. It is knowing that they care, and are doing the bullying out of true concern, that makes it difficult to resist. When those we love do not understand us, it can hurt a *lot*.
At any rate, I am glad you were able to get past what happened. It would have been sad if you had lost forever something that meant so much to you, just because of another person's misunderstanding.
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Love you, DF, and thank you for staying with me.
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*hugs again*
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However, it sounds like you have used the time to rethink things, which is not bad. If you are now doing things because they feel right to you, then a positive has emerged.
I hope that your attempt to keep peace in your home doesn't impinge on your ability to do what you need to do. I don't see why it would, really. But if you are feeling torn, you can always bring it to your journal. We would give you support and a listening ear!
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*loves*
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It took a lot of strength and humility and love to come back here and say all this to us and still show how much you continue to love and respect your family, in spite of them not supporting you in this way. That means a lot, and shows clearly what a special person you are! You were special before, and you're even more so now, truly.
I'm praying for you, love -- be encouraged!
((((((((((((((Kimby))))))))))))))))
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Love and respect you very much too, my friend.
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