(no subject)
I feel the need to post this, even though the folks who really need to see it probably won't.
There is a story behind my Big Announcement back in May 2005. I posted here that on the advice of a pastor I decided to abandon all things LOTR, start a new LJ, and expect everyone to toodle happily after me.
There's a lot more to it than that.
It was a family member very close and dear to me that had never felt comfortable with LOTR, and with all the little knickknacks and such that I had in the house dealing with it. We were attending a luncheon at the church when this family member took my arm and said, "Let's see what the pastor says about LOTR." He told us that it should have no place in our lives and i should get rid of everything to do with it. That is just what she wanted to hear, and so within hours everything dealing with LOTR was gone.
I was devastated, I truly was. Because I love and respect her so much, I did not want to say anything negative about her because she is the woman who raised me, and she really and truly believed that it was the right thing to do. So long as I live in her home, I must respect her wishes, even though she does not support me. We divide all household expenses down the middle because it's a heck of lot cheaper than rent or a mortgage.
I KNOW what I should have done. I should have kept what happened on the homefront to myself and continued on here as if nothing had happened, rather than make a Big Announcement that deeply wounded people that had always been there for me and rooted for me through very difficult times. I don't always think things through before I do them (okay, never) and what I did was the best way I could think of at the time to deal with what happened. It was the wrong way, I know that now. But I cannot take it back, I cannot change it, what is done is done. I'm throwing the cow over the fence some hay by quietly resuming discussion and writing of things LOTR when that's what I should have kept right on doing and not took out what happened on my dear friends.
So...that is the full story. Like I said, this explanation does not justify the extremely raggy way in which I handled things. But I hope it might help you understand better why I did what I did.
I am truly, deeply sorry, and I promise, no more journal-crossing-out and Big Announcements. I've come a long way since last May, and I hope you all can give me another chance to treat you with the love and respect you richly deserve.
There is a story behind my Big Announcement back in May 2005. I posted here that on the advice of a pastor I decided to abandon all things LOTR, start a new LJ, and expect everyone to toodle happily after me.
There's a lot more to it than that.
It was a family member very close and dear to me that had never felt comfortable with LOTR, and with all the little knickknacks and such that I had in the house dealing with it. We were attending a luncheon at the church when this family member took my arm and said, "Let's see what the pastor says about LOTR." He told us that it should have no place in our lives and i should get rid of everything to do with it. That is just what she wanted to hear, and so within hours everything dealing with LOTR was gone.
I was devastated, I truly was. Because I love and respect her so much, I did not want to say anything negative about her because she is the woman who raised me, and she really and truly believed that it was the right thing to do. So long as I live in her home, I must respect her wishes, even though she does not support me. We divide all household expenses down the middle because it's a heck of lot cheaper than rent or a mortgage.
I KNOW what I should have done. I should have kept what happened on the homefront to myself and continued on here as if nothing had happened, rather than make a Big Announcement that deeply wounded people that had always been there for me and rooted for me through very difficult times. I don't always think things through before I do them (okay, never) and what I did was the best way I could think of at the time to deal with what happened. It was the wrong way, I know that now. But I cannot take it back, I cannot change it, what is done is done. I'm throwing the cow over the fence some hay by quietly resuming discussion and writing of things LOTR when that's what I should have kept right on doing and not took out what happened on my dear friends.
So...that is the full story. Like I said, this explanation does not justify the extremely raggy way in which I handled things. But I hope it might help you understand better why I did what I did.
I am truly, deeply sorry, and I promise, no more journal-crossing-out and Big Announcements. I've come a long way since last May, and I hope you all can give me another chance to treat you with the love and respect you richly deserve.