[Oneshot : Nameless Ties ]
Title: Nameless Ties
Author:pink-stitchy
Beta:koigaii
Pairing: Chiitaro, slight Yamajima
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 3366
Summary: Broken and hurt Chinen carried his shattered heart as he end up in front of his most beloved un-related-by-blood cousin, Ryutaro Morimoto. The cousin that was always there for Chinen listen and comfort him in many 'ways' as they share an unexplainable relationship.
Sequel of He, the boy friend of my sweet boyfriend. This is more of Chinen’s story.
Chinen fumbled the edge of the doormat with his toecap as his eyes countless of time read the writing on it which wrote “welcome”. With his head down, Chinen watched silently as the drops water fell down from his drenched hair and hits the concrete floor. Chinen slip his hand into his coat pocket, tried to warm up his cold and shivering hands. But it’s doesn’t work out, since his coat was also soaked in the rain. Practically he was drenched from head to toe, a result from walking in the heavy rain. Chinen remembered when the first rain drop hit him, everyone around him run for a shelter but not him. He just stood there tilt his head up and let the rain hit his face hoping that the rains will cover his teary eyes. With the rain as his companion Chinen decided to let his feet took him to wherever it’s want to. So in the end his footsteps stop in front of the worn-out plywood door with ‘2B-1’ number display on it. Chinen can feel his eyes started being watery again, quickly he rubbed the corner of his eyes with the tip of his finger.
By the sudden the sound of door cracking open Chinen looked up,
“Ryu-chan..”
“Chinen! What are you doing here?” asked the boy in the blue sweater.
“Gomen,” Chinen replied.
“What are you sorry for?”
Chinen shrugged his shoulder, he let out a slow sobbing and his eyes started watery, again! Chinen didn’t know why, but whenever he felt sad or down he will always end up in front of this apartment. Apartment that belongs to his non-related-to-blood cousin, Morimoto Ryutaro. Chinen wasn’t the type of guy that easily cried in front of other, but when he in front of his beloved cousin he will easily broke down into tears. It happened without that boy need to say a word to him, it just happened.
“How long had you stood here?” Ryutaro asked while looking down at the floor, on which a puddle of water was formed. Looking at his older cousin who’s drenched, Ryutaro was pretty sure that he had stood there quite a while. Without waiting for Chinen’s answer, Ryutaro grabbed Chinen’s wrist and led him into the apartment. Chinen looked at Ryutaro back as the younger boy led him, Chinen remember clearly the first time they meet.
It was summer back then and Chinen was at his grandparents’ house, visiting them. Feeling bored with his mother and grandmother chatting, Chinen decided to take a walk on nearby pine forest. The sun shone brightly and the breeze blew a warm air giving Chinen a comfortable feeling. Chinen loved it each time the beam of sunlight hit his eyes through the pine leaves. Sometimes Chinen would reach out and try to gasp the grain of sunlight, but his fingers touched nothing. Chinen paused when he saw a boy laying under the pine trees, slowly Chinen stepped toward the pine tree.
“Who are you?” Chinen asked curiously.
But he didn’t get any answer from that boy. The boy just stared at Chinen before covering his face with baseball cap. Chinen waited patiently for an answer but it seem like he won’t get any since all he heard from that boy was a heavy sighing.
“It’s really nice out there, right?” Chinen slumped beside that boy.
Silent.
“You’re Ryutaro Morimoto right?” Chinen asked again. He recalled the conversation that his mother and grandmother had. They were talking about his aunt’s new step son, how that boy never responds to anyone. How Ryutaro was said loved to sit alone instead of playing with other kids, it was like he’s been living in his own perfect world and never opened up to other including his own father.
“I’m Chinen Yuri, your cousin” Chinen introduced himself, but still he didn’t get any respond. Chinen turned his body facing Ryutaro who’s still had his face covered. Slowly Chinen lift the baseball cap and put it aside, “Would you like to be my friend?”
Even though Ryutaro haven’t said a word about being a Chinen’s friend, Chinen already took things into his own matter and started to talk about several of thing. But mostly it’s about himself, how the grade school looks like, the thing that he likes and hates, his favorite toys and how he loves playing outside during summer. And for the whole time Ryutaro just lying there silently, he only nodded or let out a small chuckle when he found how funny Chinen story is. But Chinen already content with that because somehow he felt that Ryutaro had opened up his world a little bit and let him in, just him.
A touched on Chinen shoulder pulled him back from his childhood memories, Chinen glanced over his shoulder and saw Ryutaro hand on his.
“Get in,” Ryutaro pointed toward the bathtub that was already filled up with water. Chinen shook his head.
“You might catch a fever if you don’t take a bath” Ryutaro sounded firm but still there a trace of concern in his voice.
Chinen didn’t mind if he’d catch a fever or fall sick, in fact maybe that the right thing that should happen to him. Because when he fell sick maybe it can overcome the throbbing pain that he felt right now and he can forget about his shattered heart.
Ryutaro let out a heavy sigh, he step closer to Chinen and wiped off the tears on Chinen cheek. Gently Ryutaro take off Chinen’s coat. He threw the coat into the laundry basket and continue to undress Chinen. First he unbutton Chinen’s shirt, then he slide down Chinen’s jean and finally Chinen’s boxer.
Chinen didn’t protest to any of Ryutaro action. He just let that younger boy undress him piece by piece until he was left out with nothing. Ryutaro pulled Chinen hand and draw him to the bathtub, Chinen left out with no option but to slump down in the bathtub. As Chinen sank his whole body under the water, a tranquil feeling crept into his heart. The water was warm and nice, Ryutaro really did a got job with it.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?” Finally Chinen voiced out after a long silence.
Ryutaro just stared at Chinen face and ignore the question, “Why you didn’t let yourself in? You have the key aren’t you?”
“Yeah I have the key.” Chinen nodded. He wasn’t surprised when Ryutaro choose to ignore his question and talked about something else. That’s how Ryutaro is, he will always avoid talking about the things that will only hurt Chinen more. It was like Ryutaro was afraid that his words will shatter Chinen’s fragile heart. Usually Ryutaro will choose to be a decent listener, listen carefully to every particular and detail of Chinen story. He won’t said a word, he will just listen as Chinen go on and on with his story until Chinen’s satisfied or got tired of his own words.
“You know what, I broke up with Yuto-kun” Chinen voiced started to tremble.
“I didn’t blame Yuto for what happened. I know from the start the he never loved me, it’s me who doesn’t want to face the fact. I thought if Yuto stay with me for a little longer he would come to love me. But he can’t, he can’t loved me because his heart was longing for someone else. Someone that was so close to him but yet he can’t reach out to that person. Because the person that he in love with is my best friend.” Chinen wrapped his arm around his knee and rocking his body slowly. His eyes were glued on the water looking down. He can’t face Ryutaro because he knew, once his eyes meet Ryutaro’s his tears will broke free and may run like an unbroken stream.
“And you blame Yamada for taking Yuto away from you?” Ryutaro asked.
Chinen shook his head hastily, “It’s not Yama-chan’s fault either. He wasn’t the one to blame. I think I’m the one who need to be blame. If I noticed this earlier none of us would need to go through such an unbearable sorrow. If only I look at things better maybe I would noticed how they were so in love with each other. How anxious Yama-chan would be when Yuto was around or how dimly Yuto’s eyes were every time he lay a sight on Yama-chan,” Chinen can’t imagine the painful feeling that strike Yamada every time he begged Yamada to join him and Yuto for a lunch. He felt like he’sthe worst, for being the person that come in between Yuto and Yamada love. Because of him Yuto and Yamada had to suffer.
“It’s not your fault,” Ryutaro tilt up Chinen faced with his slender finger.
“That’s how love is. Sometime you tend to hurt the people that is very dear to you unconsciously” Ryutaro stared right into Chinen eyes hoping that’s his words would reach his lovely cousin.
A single tear spilled from Chinen’s eye, ran down his cheek and joined the bigger mass in the bathtub. Once the first broke free, the rest followed in unbroken stream just like how Chinen thought it would be. Chinen buried his face on his knee and began to cry, his whole body was shaking as the sobbing sound getting louder and louder.
Ryutaro, who was sitting beside the bathtub from the very beginning reached out and placed his hand on Chinen’s trembling shoulder. Then, all but instinctively, Ryutaro took Chinen into his arms. Pressing his weight against Ryutaro, Chinen continued to cry without a sound. Ryutaro sweater become damp then soaked with Chinen’s tears and hot breath.
“Don’t you think I’m a bad person?” Chinen asked after he had calmed down a little bit.
Ryutaro shook his head and curved a smile on his lips, “You are the sweetest and nicest human being I ever met.”
Chinen smiled. Ryutaro wasn’t the sweet talker type of guy, in fact it really rare for him to compliment or talk nicely to others. So when those words coming from Ryutaro, Chinen know he does really mean it.
“Nee Ryu-chan, why don’t you join me? Just like the old days” Chinen still remember that particular summer when both of them spend almost two hour soaking in the bathtub together in the middle of afternoon.
Ryutaro smile, “Like old days? I think the bathtub won’t fit for two of us.”
Chinen swallowed, Ryutaro was right it won’t fit for two of them. Beside they already grown up, it would be totally awkward for both of them to cramp together naked in that small bathtub.
“Ryu-chan gomen ne. For making you listen to my story”
“Hey you said it yourself, didn’t you? That I’m your personal listener, so you can use me whenever you want to.”
That’s right, Ryutaro won’t mind a bit if he had to sit on the cold bathroom tile listening to Chinen for hours. And he wouldn’t mind if Chinen want to repeat the same story over and over again until that smaller guy become sick of his own story. He would sit there like a loyal dog listen to his owner story. Even though his heart throb every time Chinen mention Yuto name, he wouldn’t mind undergo that countless pain as long as Chinen won’t suffer any further pain from what he already was.
“What if you’d get sick of me one day?”Chinen asked as he touched Ryutaro palm with his finger.
Ryutaro look at his palm, watched silently as Chinen run his finger trying to sketch an invisible heart shape, “I would never, never get sick of you”
Chinen curved a smile. He knows, Ryutaro would never let him down by his words. Because that’s how Ryutaro is, no matter what he asked that guy, he never gives him a disappointing answer. Just like when he whined about how lonely he gets when Ryutaro was not around as he get into college. The next thing Chinen knew Ryutaro already applied for the same University as him. In fact Ryutaro finished his senior school earlier so that he can be admitted into University sooner. So that Chinen won’t need to felt lonely anymore.
“Ready to get out?” Ryutaro looked at Chinen’s fingers which already wrinkle up.
Chinen nodded his head and stood up. He steps out of the bathtub and let Ryutaro wrapped his body with a bathrobe. Gently Ryutaro stroke Chinen’s head with a towel as his fingers softly played with Chinen earlobe. Feeling tickled by Ryutaro’s touch Chinen let out a small laugh.
“You know what? You deserve someone better,” Ryutaro whisper into Chinen’s ear.
Chinen turned his head and stared into Ryutaro eyes, “Did I? But I don’t think I will meet someone better than Yuto,”
“Even though he doesn’t love me, but still he treats me nicely and he never hurts me” Chinen continue.
“Is that guy really that perfect?!” Ryutaro shoved Chinen to the wall. He locked Chinen with both of his hand and stared right into Chinen eyes.
Chinen gasp as his body start to tremble, this is the first time Ryutaro raise his voiced toward him.
“Does his touch turn you on?” Ryutaro asked as he cares Chinen’s smooth cheek.
“He rarely touched me”
“Do his kisses take your breath away?” Ryutaro asked as he run his finger on Chinen pinkish lips.
“He only gives me a light kissed on cheek”
“Does he treasure every inch of your body when he made love to you?” Ryutaro asked as he placed his hand on Chinen’s neck, caressing it.
“He never made love to me”
Chinen kept his mouth shut. He knew Ryutaro already had all the answer to his question. It’s because Ryutaro knows really well how things going on between him and Yuto.
“I’m sorry,” There’s a trace of guilt in Ryutaro’s voice. He stepped backward and walked out of the bathroom leaving Chinen who’s still shaken up by Ryutaro sudden action.
Chinen watched silently as Ryutaro figure fade away behind the door. His tears start to run down again, but this time it wasn’t because of Yuto. This time he cried because he afraid of losing Ryutaro. The relationship that he had between Ryutaro wasn’t like a usual cousin - to - cousin relationship. What he had with Ryutaro was something special, something that could never be explained. They didn’t treat each other as a cousin or as a friend. Because cousins didn’t ‘sleep’ together and pretend like nothing happened in the next morning. But that’s how thing run between him and Ryutaro.
For using Ryutaro to heal his broken heart, Chinen knew he’s the worst. Chinen remembered the first time after they ‘did it’, he was crying and begging how sorry he was for using Ryutaro in exchange of Yuto. But Ryutaro just sat there rubbing his back dearly and said “It’s okay you can used me whenever you want and it’s won’t ruin thing between us”. That’s why no matter how many time they ‘did it’, they can still sit together chatting about others stuff normally. Because they never talked about it.
If Chinen had to choose, he rather choose to be left out by Yuto rather than seeing Ryutaro walk away from his life. He couldn’t imagine how his life would be without a person with a name Ryutaro Morimoto in it. His life will be empty, like a heart without a beat. That’s how much Ryutaro means to him. But Chinen know he couldn’t hold Ryutaro back if that younger guy decide leave him, he doesn’t have right to do that. Chinen know he deserve it as a punishment for dragging Ryutaro into this complicated and heartbreaking relationship. He deserves to be left out and alone.
***
The small room was lighted with nothing but the moonlight. If it wasn’t for the moonlight it would be pitch black here. Ryutaro always loved sitting in the dark, somehow it helped him to think clearly. Besides, that’s how his life is, being cornered in the dark without any slightest light in it. But ever since the person with a name Chinen Yuri appears in his life, things started to change. He wasn’t cornered in the dark anymore, he didn’t feel alone anymore and an unknown desire started to arise in him.
A desire of wanting someone only for himself and that someone is Chinen Yuri. To tell the truth he never took Chinen as his cousin, from the very moment he meet Chinen he only see him as someone different. Someone that he only opened his heart to.
“Ryu-chan,”
Ryutaro opened his eyes and looked to his right. Chinen was there sitting beside him with bathrobe wrapping his small body.
“Ryu-chan. Are you still mad at me?” Chinen asked.
Ryutaro just shook his head and curved a smile.
“Then Ryu-chan… Are you going to leave me?”
Ryutaro let out a small sigh, “I told you, right? I would never leave you”
Chinen nodded his head and smiled. The wind blew from the balcony made him shiver. Chinen inched his body closer to Ryutaro before he rest his head on Ryutaro’s arm.
“Ryu-chan I’m sorry for everything. I truly am…”
“Urmm there’s nothing you need to feel sorry about.”
Chinen tilted his head up and looked into Ryutaro’s eyes, “You were always nice to me. After all the things that I did to you, you still treat me nicely.”
“You know what?” Chinen asked.
“What?”
“Ryu-chan is my favorite cousin and I love you the most!”
“Yeah, I know”
Ryutaro wrapped his arm around Chinen and pulled him closer, trying to share some warm to Chinen. Chinen snuggled in Ryutaro embrace and closed his eyes. Chinen loved it every time Ryutaro hold him like this, it made all his problem fade away.
Ryutaro stared at Chinen face, the older seemed to be in a deep sleep. Gazing at every inch of that boy’s face. The boy that he deeply in love with, but he can’t say it out loud because Chinen only sees him as his most favorite cousin. Ryutaro was afraid, afraid if he tells Chinen how he feel towards him, Chinen will left him. If being Yuto substitute is what he had to be then he wouldn’t mind. He wouldn’t mind if Chinen moan out Yuto name while they make love and he wouldn’t mind if Chinen seek him only because he was lonely. As long as he can stay beside Chinen, Ryutaro will let Chinen used him however he want to.
“Yuto-kun, please don’t leave me,” Chinen mumbled as he hand clench tightly on Ryutaro shirt.
“I will never leave you,” Ryutaro bent his head and planted a kiss on Chinen’s forehead. Chinen curved a smile on his lips as if he was satisfied with the answer, Chinen ,moved his hand and wrapped around Ryutaro waist before he continue into a deep sleep.
The room was still illuminated with nothing but moonlight with the two boys still sitting on the couch. The smaller one was in a deep sleep clinging closely to another boy like a child who’s afraid of being left out alone in the dark forest. Meanwhile the other one staring at the moon with his arm wrapped around the smaller boy body, like a child who’s afraid of losing his most precious thing. They wasn’t connected by blood or feeling, the tie the keep them together is anonymous. The relationship that they had together is a nameless relationship and it was something that others people couldn’t understand and comprehend. And they will continue these nameless relationships until one of them get sick or tired to another person, or maybe they never will.
“And you’re with me…” Ryutaro said kissing Chinen’s head and pulled the smaller boy closer closing his eyes. “At least for now.”
AN:
1) Personally I love Ryutaro character here >,< he so cool and mature ~~
2)Hope you will like the sequel as much as I do..I told you right everybody deserve someone ^__^
3)Please share with me how do you feel about the story since I love comment, please make one for me!!
4) Thanks for stopping by and spent your time here \(^_^)/
Author:pink-stitchy
Beta:koigaii
Pairing: Chiitaro, slight Yamajima
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 3366
Summary: Broken and hurt Chinen carried his shattered heart as he end up in front of his most beloved un-related-by-blood cousin, Ryutaro Morimoto. The cousin that was always there for Chinen listen and comfort him in many 'ways' as they share an unexplainable relationship.
Sequel of He, the boy friend of my sweet boyfriend. This is more of Chinen’s story.
Chinen fumbled the edge of the doormat with his toecap as his eyes countless of time read the writing on it which wrote “welcome”. With his head down, Chinen watched silently as the drops water fell down from his drenched hair and hits the concrete floor. Chinen slip his hand into his coat pocket, tried to warm up his cold and shivering hands. But it’s doesn’t work out, since his coat was also soaked in the rain. Practically he was drenched from head to toe, a result from walking in the heavy rain. Chinen remembered when the first rain drop hit him, everyone around him run for a shelter but not him. He just stood there tilt his head up and let the rain hit his face hoping that the rains will cover his teary eyes. With the rain as his companion Chinen decided to let his feet took him to wherever it’s want to. So in the end his footsteps stop in front of the worn-out plywood door with ‘2B-1’ number display on it. Chinen can feel his eyes started being watery again, quickly he rubbed the corner of his eyes with the tip of his finger.
By the sudden the sound of door cracking open Chinen looked up,
“Ryu-chan..”
“Chinen! What are you doing here?” asked the boy in the blue sweater.
“Gomen,” Chinen replied.
“What are you sorry for?”
Chinen shrugged his shoulder, he let out a slow sobbing and his eyes started watery, again! Chinen didn’t know why, but whenever he felt sad or down he will always end up in front of this apartment. Apartment that belongs to his non-related-to-blood cousin, Morimoto Ryutaro. Chinen wasn’t the type of guy that easily cried in front of other, but when he in front of his beloved cousin he will easily broke down into tears. It happened without that boy need to say a word to him, it just happened.
“How long had you stood here?” Ryutaro asked while looking down at the floor, on which a puddle of water was formed. Looking at his older cousin who’s drenched, Ryutaro was pretty sure that he had stood there quite a while. Without waiting for Chinen’s answer, Ryutaro grabbed Chinen’s wrist and led him into the apartment. Chinen looked at Ryutaro back as the younger boy led him, Chinen remember clearly the first time they meet.
It was summer back then and Chinen was at his grandparents’ house, visiting them. Feeling bored with his mother and grandmother chatting, Chinen decided to take a walk on nearby pine forest. The sun shone brightly and the breeze blew a warm air giving Chinen a comfortable feeling. Chinen loved it each time the beam of sunlight hit his eyes through the pine leaves. Sometimes Chinen would reach out and try to gasp the grain of sunlight, but his fingers touched nothing. Chinen paused when he saw a boy laying under the pine trees, slowly Chinen stepped toward the pine tree.
“Who are you?” Chinen asked curiously.
But he didn’t get any answer from that boy. The boy just stared at Chinen before covering his face with baseball cap. Chinen waited patiently for an answer but it seem like he won’t get any since all he heard from that boy was a heavy sighing.
“It’s really nice out there, right?” Chinen slumped beside that boy.
Silent.
“You’re Ryutaro Morimoto right?” Chinen asked again. He recalled the conversation that his mother and grandmother had. They were talking about his aunt’s new step son, how that boy never responds to anyone. How Ryutaro was said loved to sit alone instead of playing with other kids, it was like he’s been living in his own perfect world and never opened up to other including his own father.
“I’m Chinen Yuri, your cousin” Chinen introduced himself, but still he didn’t get any respond. Chinen turned his body facing Ryutaro who’s still had his face covered. Slowly Chinen lift the baseball cap and put it aside, “Would you like to be my friend?”
Even though Ryutaro haven’t said a word about being a Chinen’s friend, Chinen already took things into his own matter and started to talk about several of thing. But mostly it’s about himself, how the grade school looks like, the thing that he likes and hates, his favorite toys and how he loves playing outside during summer. And for the whole time Ryutaro just lying there silently, he only nodded or let out a small chuckle when he found how funny Chinen story is. But Chinen already content with that because somehow he felt that Ryutaro had opened up his world a little bit and let him in, just him.
A touched on Chinen shoulder pulled him back from his childhood memories, Chinen glanced over his shoulder and saw Ryutaro hand on his.
“Get in,” Ryutaro pointed toward the bathtub that was already filled up with water. Chinen shook his head.
“You might catch a fever if you don’t take a bath” Ryutaro sounded firm but still there a trace of concern in his voice.
Chinen didn’t mind if he’d catch a fever or fall sick, in fact maybe that the right thing that should happen to him. Because when he fell sick maybe it can overcome the throbbing pain that he felt right now and he can forget about his shattered heart.
Ryutaro let out a heavy sigh, he step closer to Chinen and wiped off the tears on Chinen cheek. Gently Ryutaro take off Chinen’s coat. He threw the coat into the laundry basket and continue to undress Chinen. First he unbutton Chinen’s shirt, then he slide down Chinen’s jean and finally Chinen’s boxer.
Chinen didn’t protest to any of Ryutaro action. He just let that younger boy undress him piece by piece until he was left out with nothing. Ryutaro pulled Chinen hand and draw him to the bathtub, Chinen left out with no option but to slump down in the bathtub. As Chinen sank his whole body under the water, a tranquil feeling crept into his heart. The water was warm and nice, Ryutaro really did a got job with it.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?” Finally Chinen voiced out after a long silence.
Ryutaro just stared at Chinen face and ignore the question, “Why you didn’t let yourself in? You have the key aren’t you?”
“Yeah I have the key.” Chinen nodded. He wasn’t surprised when Ryutaro choose to ignore his question and talked about something else. That’s how Ryutaro is, he will always avoid talking about the things that will only hurt Chinen more. It was like Ryutaro was afraid that his words will shatter Chinen’s fragile heart. Usually Ryutaro will choose to be a decent listener, listen carefully to every particular and detail of Chinen story. He won’t said a word, he will just listen as Chinen go on and on with his story until Chinen’s satisfied or got tired of his own words.
“You know what, I broke up with Yuto-kun” Chinen voiced started to tremble.
“I didn’t blame Yuto for what happened. I know from the start the he never loved me, it’s me who doesn’t want to face the fact. I thought if Yuto stay with me for a little longer he would come to love me. But he can’t, he can’t loved me because his heart was longing for someone else. Someone that was so close to him but yet he can’t reach out to that person. Because the person that he in love with is my best friend.” Chinen wrapped his arm around his knee and rocking his body slowly. His eyes were glued on the water looking down. He can’t face Ryutaro because he knew, once his eyes meet Ryutaro’s his tears will broke free and may run like an unbroken stream.
“And you blame Yamada for taking Yuto away from you?” Ryutaro asked.
Chinen shook his head hastily, “It’s not Yama-chan’s fault either. He wasn’t the one to blame. I think I’m the one who need to be blame. If I noticed this earlier none of us would need to go through such an unbearable sorrow. If only I look at things better maybe I would noticed how they were so in love with each other. How anxious Yama-chan would be when Yuto was around or how dimly Yuto’s eyes were every time he lay a sight on Yama-chan,” Chinen can’t imagine the painful feeling that strike Yamada every time he begged Yamada to join him and Yuto for a lunch. He felt like he’sthe worst, for being the person that come in between Yuto and Yamada love. Because of him Yuto and Yamada had to suffer.
“It’s not your fault,” Ryutaro tilt up Chinen faced with his slender finger.
“That’s how love is. Sometime you tend to hurt the people that is very dear to you unconsciously” Ryutaro stared right into Chinen eyes hoping that’s his words would reach his lovely cousin.
A single tear spilled from Chinen’s eye, ran down his cheek and joined the bigger mass in the bathtub. Once the first broke free, the rest followed in unbroken stream just like how Chinen thought it would be. Chinen buried his face on his knee and began to cry, his whole body was shaking as the sobbing sound getting louder and louder.
Ryutaro, who was sitting beside the bathtub from the very beginning reached out and placed his hand on Chinen’s trembling shoulder. Then, all but instinctively, Ryutaro took Chinen into his arms. Pressing his weight against Ryutaro, Chinen continued to cry without a sound. Ryutaro sweater become damp then soaked with Chinen’s tears and hot breath.
“Don’t you think I’m a bad person?” Chinen asked after he had calmed down a little bit.
Ryutaro shook his head and curved a smile on his lips, “You are the sweetest and nicest human being I ever met.”
Chinen smiled. Ryutaro wasn’t the sweet talker type of guy, in fact it really rare for him to compliment or talk nicely to others. So when those words coming from Ryutaro, Chinen know he does really mean it.
“Nee Ryu-chan, why don’t you join me? Just like the old days” Chinen still remember that particular summer when both of them spend almost two hour soaking in the bathtub together in the middle of afternoon.
Ryutaro smile, “Like old days? I think the bathtub won’t fit for two of us.”
Chinen swallowed, Ryutaro was right it won’t fit for two of them. Beside they already grown up, it would be totally awkward for both of them to cramp together naked in that small bathtub.
“Ryu-chan gomen ne. For making you listen to my story”
“Hey you said it yourself, didn’t you? That I’m your personal listener, so you can use me whenever you want to.”
That’s right, Ryutaro won’t mind a bit if he had to sit on the cold bathroom tile listening to Chinen for hours. And he wouldn’t mind if Chinen want to repeat the same story over and over again until that smaller guy become sick of his own story. He would sit there like a loyal dog listen to his owner story. Even though his heart throb every time Chinen mention Yuto name, he wouldn’t mind undergo that countless pain as long as Chinen won’t suffer any further pain from what he already was.
“What if you’d get sick of me one day?”Chinen asked as he touched Ryutaro palm with his finger.
Ryutaro look at his palm, watched silently as Chinen run his finger trying to sketch an invisible heart shape, “I would never, never get sick of you”
Chinen curved a smile. He knows, Ryutaro would never let him down by his words. Because that’s how Ryutaro is, no matter what he asked that guy, he never gives him a disappointing answer. Just like when he whined about how lonely he gets when Ryutaro was not around as he get into college. The next thing Chinen knew Ryutaro already applied for the same University as him. In fact Ryutaro finished his senior school earlier so that he can be admitted into University sooner. So that Chinen won’t need to felt lonely anymore.
“Ready to get out?” Ryutaro looked at Chinen’s fingers which already wrinkle up.
Chinen nodded his head and stood up. He steps out of the bathtub and let Ryutaro wrapped his body with a bathrobe. Gently Ryutaro stroke Chinen’s head with a towel as his fingers softly played with Chinen earlobe. Feeling tickled by Ryutaro’s touch Chinen let out a small laugh.
“You know what? You deserve someone better,” Ryutaro whisper into Chinen’s ear.
Chinen turned his head and stared into Ryutaro eyes, “Did I? But I don’t think I will meet someone better than Yuto,”
“Even though he doesn’t love me, but still he treats me nicely and he never hurts me” Chinen continue.
“Is that guy really that perfect?!” Ryutaro shoved Chinen to the wall. He locked Chinen with both of his hand and stared right into Chinen eyes.
Chinen gasp as his body start to tremble, this is the first time Ryutaro raise his voiced toward him.
“Does his touch turn you on?” Ryutaro asked as he cares Chinen’s smooth cheek.
“He rarely touched me”
“Do his kisses take your breath away?” Ryutaro asked as he run his finger on Chinen pinkish lips.
“He only gives me a light kissed on cheek”
“Does he treasure every inch of your body when he made love to you?” Ryutaro asked as he placed his hand on Chinen’s neck, caressing it.
“He never made love to me”
Chinen kept his mouth shut. He knew Ryutaro already had all the answer to his question. It’s because Ryutaro knows really well how things going on between him and Yuto.
“I’m sorry,” There’s a trace of guilt in Ryutaro’s voice. He stepped backward and walked out of the bathroom leaving Chinen who’s still shaken up by Ryutaro sudden action.
Chinen watched silently as Ryutaro figure fade away behind the door. His tears start to run down again, but this time it wasn’t because of Yuto. This time he cried because he afraid of losing Ryutaro. The relationship that he had between Ryutaro wasn’t like a usual cousin - to - cousin relationship. What he had with Ryutaro was something special, something that could never be explained. They didn’t treat each other as a cousin or as a friend. Because cousins didn’t ‘sleep’ together and pretend like nothing happened in the next morning. But that’s how thing run between him and Ryutaro.
For using Ryutaro to heal his broken heart, Chinen knew he’s the worst. Chinen remembered the first time after they ‘did it’, he was crying and begging how sorry he was for using Ryutaro in exchange of Yuto. But Ryutaro just sat there rubbing his back dearly and said “It’s okay you can used me whenever you want and it’s won’t ruin thing between us”. That’s why no matter how many time they ‘did it’, they can still sit together chatting about others stuff normally. Because they never talked about it.
If Chinen had to choose, he rather choose to be left out by Yuto rather than seeing Ryutaro walk away from his life. He couldn’t imagine how his life would be without a person with a name Ryutaro Morimoto in it. His life will be empty, like a heart without a beat. That’s how much Ryutaro means to him. But Chinen know he couldn’t hold Ryutaro back if that younger guy decide leave him, he doesn’t have right to do that. Chinen know he deserve it as a punishment for dragging Ryutaro into this complicated and heartbreaking relationship. He deserves to be left out and alone.
***
The small room was lighted with nothing but the moonlight. If it wasn’t for the moonlight it would be pitch black here. Ryutaro always loved sitting in the dark, somehow it helped him to think clearly. Besides, that’s how his life is, being cornered in the dark without any slightest light in it. But ever since the person with a name Chinen Yuri appears in his life, things started to change. He wasn’t cornered in the dark anymore, he didn’t feel alone anymore and an unknown desire started to arise in him.
A desire of wanting someone only for himself and that someone is Chinen Yuri. To tell the truth he never took Chinen as his cousin, from the very moment he meet Chinen he only see him as someone different. Someone that he only opened his heart to.
“Ryu-chan,”
Ryutaro opened his eyes and looked to his right. Chinen was there sitting beside him with bathrobe wrapping his small body.
“Ryu-chan. Are you still mad at me?” Chinen asked.
Ryutaro just shook his head and curved a smile.
“Then Ryu-chan… Are you going to leave me?”
Ryutaro let out a small sigh, “I told you, right? I would never leave you”
Chinen nodded his head and smiled. The wind blew from the balcony made him shiver. Chinen inched his body closer to Ryutaro before he rest his head on Ryutaro’s arm.
“Ryu-chan I’m sorry for everything. I truly am…”
“Urmm there’s nothing you need to feel sorry about.”
Chinen tilted his head up and looked into Ryutaro’s eyes, “You were always nice to me. After all the things that I did to you, you still treat me nicely.”
“You know what?” Chinen asked.
“What?”
“Ryu-chan is my favorite cousin and I love you the most!”
“Yeah, I know”
Ryutaro wrapped his arm around Chinen and pulled him closer, trying to share some warm to Chinen. Chinen snuggled in Ryutaro embrace and closed his eyes. Chinen loved it every time Ryutaro hold him like this, it made all his problem fade away.
Ryutaro stared at Chinen face, the older seemed to be in a deep sleep. Gazing at every inch of that boy’s face. The boy that he deeply in love with, but he can’t say it out loud because Chinen only sees him as his most favorite cousin. Ryutaro was afraid, afraid if he tells Chinen how he feel towards him, Chinen will left him. If being Yuto substitute is what he had to be then he wouldn’t mind. He wouldn’t mind if Chinen moan out Yuto name while they make love and he wouldn’t mind if Chinen seek him only because he was lonely. As long as he can stay beside Chinen, Ryutaro will let Chinen used him however he want to.
“Yuto-kun, please don’t leave me,” Chinen mumbled as he hand clench tightly on Ryutaro shirt.
“I will never leave you,” Ryutaro bent his head and planted a kiss on Chinen’s forehead. Chinen curved a smile on his lips as if he was satisfied with the answer, Chinen ,moved his hand and wrapped around Ryutaro waist before he continue into a deep sleep.
The room was still illuminated with nothing but moonlight with the two boys still sitting on the couch. The smaller one was in a deep sleep clinging closely to another boy like a child who’s afraid of being left out alone in the dark forest. Meanwhile the other one staring at the moon with his arm wrapped around the smaller boy body, like a child who’s afraid of losing his most precious thing. They wasn’t connected by blood or feeling, the tie the keep them together is anonymous. The relationship that they had together is a nameless relationship and it was something that others people couldn’t understand and comprehend. And they will continue these nameless relationships until one of them get sick or tired to another person, or maybe they never will.
“And you’re with me…” Ryutaro said kissing Chinen’s head and pulled the smaller boy closer closing his eyes. “At least for now.”
AN:
1) Personally I love Ryutaro character here >,< he so cool and mature ~~
2)Hope you will like the sequel as much as I do..I told you right everybody deserve someone ^__^
3)Please share with me how do you feel about the story since I love comment, please make one for me!!
4) Thanks for stopping by and spent your time here \(^_^)/