Everything's Changed
Title: Everything’s Changed
Pairing: Adam/Sauli, Adam/Tommy
Rating: PG 13/R
Warnings: language
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys. This story is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only.
Summary: Tommy finally admits his feelings, but is it too late?
Author’s Notes: This story was inspired by Backstreet Boys’ How Did I Fall in Love With You? I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading. Feedback is always welcome.
Dear Adam,
If I think really hard, I can remember a time when I didn’t need you. We were best friends…like brothers. We knew that we’d always be there for each other. We’d never be alone.
Now, I want you so much. The nights are too long. I need your touch. I’m not sure what else to say. I didn’t mean to feel this way. I just don’t want to be alone tonight.
What can I do to make you mine? I’m falling so hard and so fast. I keep asking myself what I said? What you did? What made me fall in love with you?
When I hear your voice, I start to tremble. I can’t pretend to just be friends.
I want to say this right. It has to be tonight. I need you to know. I don’t want to live this life without you. I don’t want to say goodbye. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Love,
Tommy
Adam couldn’t believe what he was reading. He had longed to hear those things from Tommy for years. When it became clear that Tommy was never going to have more than friendly feelings for him, Adam had moved on. He had found love with someone else. This letter from Tommy made Adam sad and angry. The anger was winning as Adam stormed from his hotel room. Tommy was staying a few rooms down the hall. Adam stalked to his room and pounded on the door.
Tommy jumped when he heard the loud banging on his door. He had been expecting Adam for almost an hour now. He took a deep breath and calmly walked over to the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob and took another deep breath. He opened the door. Without a word, Adam pushed his way into the room. He looked pissed. He was clutching Tommy’s letter in his hand.
“What the hell is this?” Adam inquired angrily when Tommy shut the door and turned around. He waved the letter in Tommy’s face for emphasis.
“A letter.” Tommy replied quietly.
“Don’t be a smartass, Tommy Joe.” Adam warned. “It’s not just some letter. It’s a letter proclaiming your feelings for me.”
“I fucking know exactly what it is. I wrote it!” Tommy shouted. “I fucking feel it…every word of it.”
“God, Tommy, how could you do this to me? I’m fucking getting married tomorrow. You’re supposed to be my best man, for Christ’s sake.” Adam cursed.
“I know…that’s why I had to get some things off my chest. I should have said it before, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t let you marry him tomorrow without telling you how I feel. If you want to forget this ever happened and marry him with me standing beside you, I’ll do that. If you want me to get lost so you can forget you ever met me, I’ll do that too. It’ll kill me, but I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again.” Tommy explained.
“But what you really want me to do is call off my wedding and be with you.” Adam stated as some of the anger dissipated and was replaced with sadness.
“Yes…That is what I want, but it’s not my decision to make. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I just want you to be happy.” Tommy told him as a few tears came to his eyes.
“I’ve been happy with Sauli. I love him. There was a time when I loved you, Tommy…A time when I thought that we might have a chance. You never said anything. You never did anything to show me that you wanted to be more than friends. I gave up on us a long time ago.” Adam stated sadly as he looked away from Tommy.
“I’m sorry, Adam.” Tommy apologized as he moved closer to Adam.
Tommy reached up and gently touched Adam’s face. Adam moved his face into the touch. He looked at Tommy. They both had tears in their eyes. Slowly, Tommy leaned in and kissed Adam. It wasn’t the first time that they had kissed. They had done it hundreds of times on stage, but never off stage. It had never meant more than it did at that moment.
Adam sighed and opened his mouth to the kiss. Tommy stepped closer and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck. Adam kept his hands to himself.
“I can’t do this.” Adam declared as he pushed Tommy away from him.
“Please, Adam, I know you felt it. It’s always been there between us. We’ve just been too stupid to realize it before. I love you, Adam.” Tommy told him desperately as tears flowed down his face.
“It’s too late, Tommy. I’m marrying Sauli tomorrow.” Adam replied with conviction as he headed for the door.
“Don’t, Adam, please.” Tommy begged as he followed him.
“I think it would be best if you weren’t there.” Adam spoke as he opened the door.
“Adam, please.” Tommy pleaded.
Adam said nothing more as he walked out the door. Tommy was too upset to do anything but stand there as the door slammed in his face. He had thought that it would go better than that. He knew that he was springing a lot on Adam especially the night before his wedding, but he had expected Adam to want him. He knew that Adam had been in love with him. He had assumed that he still was.
THE NEXT DAY
After Adam had left the night before, Tommy had cried himself to sleep. He couldn’t believe that he had missed his chance with Adam. More importantly, he couldn’t believe that he had messed things up so badly that they wouldn’t be a part of each other’s lives any more.
Tommy decided that he needed to get out of New York as quickly as possible. He just wanted to get back to California and start putting his life back together without Adam. He tried to get a airplane ticket, but all the flights were booked full for the day. He contemplated taking a bus or train or renting a car. He didn’t like any of those ideas. They would give him too much time alone with himself to think about how he had fucked up his life.
By lunch time, Tommy hadn’t heard from anyone. He figured that Adam had told them all what a jackass he was. He had not only lost Adam, but he had lost a lot of his closest friends too.
As the time for the wedding got closer, Tommy decided that he had to get out of the hotel. If he couldn’t get out of the city, he needed to get as far away from the Adam and Sauli and their wedding as possible. He also decided that he probably needed to get drunk.
Tommy grabbed his coat and wallet and left his room. He took the stairs (all ten flights of them) to avoid running into anyone. Once he was outside, he looked left and right trying to decide which way to go. There was nothing eye catching either way, so he turned to the right. He walked half a block. He didn’t feel any better. He needed to get further away faster. He attempted to hail a cab. None stopped. He couldn’t take it any longer. He started to run. He ran as fast as he could. He paid little attention to other pedestrians, vehicles, or the lights. He just ran and ran.
Tommy wasn’t sure how far or how long he had run. When his lungs felt like they were going to burst out of his chest, he stopped running. He looked around. He was in a park. There was a bench nearby. He staggered over to it and collapsed. He wheezed and coughed and tried to catch his breath. He wanted to cry, but no tears would come.
“It’s not too late.” A voice came from beside Tommy.
Tommy looked up to see who was talking to him. Through the blurriness in his eyes, he saw Adam. Adam all decked out in his gorgeous white suit with his hair and make-up done flawlessly.
“What?” Tommy muttered. The breath he had managed to regain immediately leaving his body again.
“I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t marry him. I love Sauli, but not like I love you…like I’ve always loved you.” Adam declared as he pulled Tommy into his arms.
“Are you serious?” Tommy questioned. He was trying to believe that it was real and not some dream or hallucination.
“I just left my friends and family not to mention the man I was supposed to be marrying at the hotel waiting for me. Neil’s the only one who knows that I left…why I left…I think I’m pretty serious.” Adam explained.
“Adam, I…” Tommy started to say.
Adam didn’t let him say anything else. He leaned in and captured his lips in a searing kiss. The two men made out for several minutes before they both had to break away to breathe.
“How did you even find me? I don’t even know where I am.” Tommy inquired as they sat on the bench in each other’s arms.
“Glamberts and Twitter are wonderful things.” Adam replied with a smile.
“What are you talking about?” Tommy asked.
“Apparently, several fans were staking out the hotel. I don’t know how they found out that the wedding was supposed to be there, but they did. Anyway, they saw you take off and they tweeted about it. It caused a lot of speculation as to why you would be running from the hotel where I was supposed to be getting married right before the ceremony. Some other people saw you running through the city or at least who they thought was you. The last tweet I saw was from someone who said she thought she saw you in Central Park near Strawberry Fields.” Adam explained.
“I’m glad you found me.” Tommy whispered before lightly kissing Adam’s cheek.
“I’m glad I found you too…And as much as I don’t want to, I need to go back to the hotel. I’m sure that everything is just crazy there right now. I don’t know what Neil was going to tell everyone. I don’t know what some people might have seen on Twitter. Everyone there deserves an explanation from me. Sauli definitely deserves an explanation.” Adam spoke as he stood up
“I’m sorry that you have to go through this, but I am glad that you picked me.” Tommy told him as he took Adam’s hand and stood up.
“Me too.” Adam breathed as they kissed again.
Pairing: Adam/Sauli, Adam/Tommy
Rating: PG 13/R
Warnings: language
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys. This story is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only.
Summary: Tommy finally admits his feelings, but is it too late?
Author’s Notes: This story was inspired by Backstreet Boys’ How Did I Fall in Love With You? I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading. Feedback is always welcome.
Dear Adam,
If I think really hard, I can remember a time when I didn’t need you. We were best friends…like brothers. We knew that we’d always be there for each other. We’d never be alone.
Now, I want you so much. The nights are too long. I need your touch. I’m not sure what else to say. I didn’t mean to feel this way. I just don’t want to be alone tonight.
What can I do to make you mine? I’m falling so hard and so fast. I keep asking myself what I said? What you did? What made me fall in love with you?
When I hear your voice, I start to tremble. I can’t pretend to just be friends.
I want to say this right. It has to be tonight. I need you to know. I don’t want to live this life without you. I don’t want to say goodbye. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Love,
Tommy
Adam couldn’t believe what he was reading. He had longed to hear those things from Tommy for years. When it became clear that Tommy was never going to have more than friendly feelings for him, Adam had moved on. He had found love with someone else. This letter from Tommy made Adam sad and angry. The anger was winning as Adam stormed from his hotel room. Tommy was staying a few rooms down the hall. Adam stalked to his room and pounded on the door.
Tommy jumped when he heard the loud banging on his door. He had been expecting Adam for almost an hour now. He took a deep breath and calmly walked over to the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob and took another deep breath. He opened the door. Without a word, Adam pushed his way into the room. He looked pissed. He was clutching Tommy’s letter in his hand.
“What the hell is this?” Adam inquired angrily when Tommy shut the door and turned around. He waved the letter in Tommy’s face for emphasis.
“A letter.” Tommy replied quietly.
“Don’t be a smartass, Tommy Joe.” Adam warned. “It’s not just some letter. It’s a letter proclaiming your feelings for me.”
“I fucking know exactly what it is. I wrote it!” Tommy shouted. “I fucking feel it…every word of it.”
“God, Tommy, how could you do this to me? I’m fucking getting married tomorrow. You’re supposed to be my best man, for Christ’s sake.” Adam cursed.
“I know…that’s why I had to get some things off my chest. I should have said it before, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t let you marry him tomorrow without telling you how I feel. If you want to forget this ever happened and marry him with me standing beside you, I’ll do that. If you want me to get lost so you can forget you ever met me, I’ll do that too. It’ll kill me, but I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again.” Tommy explained.
“But what you really want me to do is call off my wedding and be with you.” Adam stated as some of the anger dissipated and was replaced with sadness.
“Yes…That is what I want, but it’s not my decision to make. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I just want you to be happy.” Tommy told him as a few tears came to his eyes.
“I’ve been happy with Sauli. I love him. There was a time when I loved you, Tommy…A time when I thought that we might have a chance. You never said anything. You never did anything to show me that you wanted to be more than friends. I gave up on us a long time ago.” Adam stated sadly as he looked away from Tommy.
“I’m sorry, Adam.” Tommy apologized as he moved closer to Adam.
Tommy reached up and gently touched Adam’s face. Adam moved his face into the touch. He looked at Tommy. They both had tears in their eyes. Slowly, Tommy leaned in and kissed Adam. It wasn’t the first time that they had kissed. They had done it hundreds of times on stage, but never off stage. It had never meant more than it did at that moment.
Adam sighed and opened his mouth to the kiss. Tommy stepped closer and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck. Adam kept his hands to himself.
“I can’t do this.” Adam declared as he pushed Tommy away from him.
“Please, Adam, I know you felt it. It’s always been there between us. We’ve just been too stupid to realize it before. I love you, Adam.” Tommy told him desperately as tears flowed down his face.
“It’s too late, Tommy. I’m marrying Sauli tomorrow.” Adam replied with conviction as he headed for the door.
“Don’t, Adam, please.” Tommy begged as he followed him.
“I think it would be best if you weren’t there.” Adam spoke as he opened the door.
“Adam, please.” Tommy pleaded.
Adam said nothing more as he walked out the door. Tommy was too upset to do anything but stand there as the door slammed in his face. He had thought that it would go better than that. He knew that he was springing a lot on Adam especially the night before his wedding, but he had expected Adam to want him. He knew that Adam had been in love with him. He had assumed that he still was.
THE NEXT DAY
After Adam had left the night before, Tommy had cried himself to sleep. He couldn’t believe that he had missed his chance with Adam. More importantly, he couldn’t believe that he had messed things up so badly that they wouldn’t be a part of each other’s lives any more.
Tommy decided that he needed to get out of New York as quickly as possible. He just wanted to get back to California and start putting his life back together without Adam. He tried to get a airplane ticket, but all the flights were booked full for the day. He contemplated taking a bus or train or renting a car. He didn’t like any of those ideas. They would give him too much time alone with himself to think about how he had fucked up his life.
By lunch time, Tommy hadn’t heard from anyone. He figured that Adam had told them all what a jackass he was. He had not only lost Adam, but he had lost a lot of his closest friends too.
As the time for the wedding got closer, Tommy decided that he had to get out of the hotel. If he couldn’t get out of the city, he needed to get as far away from the Adam and Sauli and their wedding as possible. He also decided that he probably needed to get drunk.
Tommy grabbed his coat and wallet and left his room. He took the stairs (all ten flights of them) to avoid running into anyone. Once he was outside, he looked left and right trying to decide which way to go. There was nothing eye catching either way, so he turned to the right. He walked half a block. He didn’t feel any better. He needed to get further away faster. He attempted to hail a cab. None stopped. He couldn’t take it any longer. He started to run. He ran as fast as he could. He paid little attention to other pedestrians, vehicles, or the lights. He just ran and ran.
Tommy wasn’t sure how far or how long he had run. When his lungs felt like they were going to burst out of his chest, he stopped running. He looked around. He was in a park. There was a bench nearby. He staggered over to it and collapsed. He wheezed and coughed and tried to catch his breath. He wanted to cry, but no tears would come.
“It’s not too late.” A voice came from beside Tommy.
Tommy looked up to see who was talking to him. Through the blurriness in his eyes, he saw Adam. Adam all decked out in his gorgeous white suit with his hair and make-up done flawlessly.
“What?” Tommy muttered. The breath he had managed to regain immediately leaving his body again.
“I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t marry him. I love Sauli, but not like I love you…like I’ve always loved you.” Adam declared as he pulled Tommy into his arms.
“Are you serious?” Tommy questioned. He was trying to believe that it was real and not some dream or hallucination.
“I just left my friends and family not to mention the man I was supposed to be marrying at the hotel waiting for me. Neil’s the only one who knows that I left…why I left…I think I’m pretty serious.” Adam explained.
“Adam, I…” Tommy started to say.
Adam didn’t let him say anything else. He leaned in and captured his lips in a searing kiss. The two men made out for several minutes before they both had to break away to breathe.
“How did you even find me? I don’t even know where I am.” Tommy inquired as they sat on the bench in each other’s arms.
“Glamberts and Twitter are wonderful things.” Adam replied with a smile.
“What are you talking about?” Tommy asked.
“Apparently, several fans were staking out the hotel. I don’t know how they found out that the wedding was supposed to be there, but they did. Anyway, they saw you take off and they tweeted about it. It caused a lot of speculation as to why you would be running from the hotel where I was supposed to be getting married right before the ceremony. Some other people saw you running through the city or at least who they thought was you. The last tweet I saw was from someone who said she thought she saw you in Central Park near Strawberry Fields.” Adam explained.
“I’m glad you found me.” Tommy whispered before lightly kissing Adam’s cheek.
“I’m glad I found you too…And as much as I don’t want to, I need to go back to the hotel. I’m sure that everything is just crazy there right now. I don’t know what Neil was going to tell everyone. I don’t know what some people might have seen on Twitter. Everyone there deserves an explanation from me. Sauli definitely deserves an explanation.” Adam spoke as he stood up
“I’m sorry that you have to go through this, but I am glad that you picked me.” Tommy told him as he took Adam’s hand and stood up.
“Me too.” Adam breathed as they kissed again.