so i really have no direction now. i don't know where to go or what to do. i don't know what direction my life is going to take now. my mom was my best friend in a lot of ways...and now she is gone..

where do i go from here?

for maybe an hour.when i woke up i was crying. i hope there aren't many nights like this

she died. yesterday she died. she wasn't everything a mother "should" be or "could" be but she was still my mother. people found it hard to believe that i loved her or why i gave her so many chances..and all i could ever say was that she was my mom. and it's true. she never knew what it meant to be a mom...only that she loved us and we loved ( Read more... )

i want to get married ( Read more... )

til j comes :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

today is the day begin my weightloss regime because i definitely weigh toooooooo much....i even feel it and its not a nice feeling by the way!!!

i just got back from a mini date with lauren. it was soooooooo soooo soo so nice to see her. at first i thought that it would be awkward because she was never one to talk ALOT unlike me of course. but she talked and talked and we discussed her wedding, her ring, the planning, her wanting babies like now :) her getting her masters just about ( Read more... )

i am getting my period because i want to have a baby BADLY and whenever this urge comes like this - i get my period. i love knowing when its coming :) now i wish it'd just come already!

i am home because i did not feel well. i left and am home making a pot of beef stew and hopefully lounging (after washing the dishes of course :)

its bitterly cold here and raining....gross gross gross

at the moment i am having a wonderful conversation with j and i am reminded that i have a friend...which i like ALOT!