The 113 Other Things hide is No Longer Allowed to do at Exstacy Records
Part One can be found right here.
Here is the original Skippy's List.
And once again, all bullshit mmmkay?
101. Not allowed to bring in my bagpipes, not matter what I think they'll add to our music.
102. Same goes for my accordion and kazoo.
103. No one wants to be my "Snuugly-Wuggly-Boo."
104. The voices in my head do not count toward band votes.
105. Not allowed to put Pata in compromising positions and then take pictures.
106. Not allowed to take pictures even if someone else put him there.
107. Or he manages to put himself there.
108. No one wants to know what I once did with a redhead and a mudshark.
109. I will not take compromising photos of Pata's guitar with any of the roadies.
110. I will not put Toshi in a suitcase to save on traveling expenses.
111. Not allowed to lead Heath around on a leash, even if he agrees to it.
112. Not allowed to let Heath lead me around on a leash.
113. If someone asks me for my position on something, they are not referring to sexual positions.
114. I cannot crown myself king of anywhere.
115. Sex toys do not count as a business expense.
116. No monkeys.
117. Not allowed to style anyone's hair without their permission.
118. I will not steal Pata's clothes while he is in the shower.
119. No, not even if I replace them with a pretty dress.
120. Pata does not exist for my personal amusement and I should stop picking on him.
121. Will not refer to Yoshiki as "Mommy Dearest."
122. If Yoshiki is having a bitch-fit, not allowed to say "Awwww, does someone need a hug?"
123. Not allowed to plant explosives in Yoshiki's drumset.
124. I will not conduct illegal drug studies on my bandmates.
125. Will not pat Toshi on the head and say "Good boy" and offer him a treat.
126. No, not even if Yoshiki does it.
127. Not allowed to play plastic-wrap mummies ever again.
128. That goes for tinfoil mummies, too.
129. I am not not the reincarnation of any ancient Egyptian deities.
130. Take off that hat.
131. I will not impersonate wildlife of any kind.
132. Yoshiki does not have an mute button, and I should not go looking for it.
133. Birthday spankings are to be given only on birthdays - not half-birthdays, quarter-birthdays, my own birthday, national holidays, or "just because."
134. Duck tape is not to be used as bandages.
135. I am not to try anything I saw on a game show.
136. No backhoes or Molotov cocktails onstage.
137. In fact, if Yamantaka Eye did it, I am to assume I am not allowed to do it and not even fucking ask.
138. I am not the last of my people.
139. Not allowed to do the Macarena.
140. Or the Chicken Dance.
141. Not allowed to play the songs, either.
142. I will cease narrating everything that goes on around me.
143. Not allowed to make popcorn and pass it around when Yoshiki has a hissy-fit.
144. I may not toss Toshi.
145. I cannot have prostitutes of any gender delivered backstage.
146. I will not mix Nair with anyone's shampoo, no matter how mad I am at them.
147. If Yoshiki throws his drumsticks at me, he is not asking to play "fetch" and I should not bring them back to him in my mouth.
148. There is no such thing as Free Blowjob Day.
149. I do not have the authority to create any holidays.
150. Shouting "For Science!" does not justify whatever dumbfuck stunt I'm about to pull.
151. Not, I cannot have a jetpack.
152. Or a flying car.
153. I may not sell my soul for hookers and blow.
154. I may not invoke "Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies."
155. Not allowed to slip a bald wig on Pata's head while he sleeping.
156. No paintball in the studio.
157. No more drawing on Pata.
158. No writing on him, either.
159. Not allowed to create my own sovereign nation.
160. Not allowed to stage dramatic re-enactments of X-based doujinshi.
161. Not allowed to own, or be within 150 meters of, dynamite.
162. Will not attempt to give Yoshiki a gynecological exam.
163. I may not masturbate in the recording booth.
164. There is absolutely no need for me to strip-search my bandmates.
165. I will not the pants the record exes, no matter how bored I get.
166. Pata is not to used as a mannequin.
167. Inflatable sheep are not appropriate Secret Santa presents.
168. I will not use Toshi's mohawk for storage.
169. Not allowed to draw on the walls with crayons.
170. X's motto is not "Rape, Pillage, Burn."
171. I do not have diplomatic immunity.
172. Nobody needs to know what is going on inside my pants.
173. "You suck" is an invalid argument.
174. Fire drills do no require fire.
175. I will not attempt to create my own currency.
176. Not allowed to sell any of my bandmates to the fans.
177. Not even I promise to split the money with rest of them.
178. Not allowed to create an Eagle/Monkey breeding program in hopes of creating flying monkeys. Also, see rule #116.
179. "I was bored" is not a valid excuse for anything done with pyrotechnics.
180. "I was drunk" is also not a valid excuse for anything done with pyrotechnics.
181. Yoshiki is in fact the boss of me, and he can tell me what to do.
182. I will not play ceiling darts in the vicinity of others.
183. Not allowed to hang mistletoe from my belt buckle.
184. We do not need a moat.
185. Not allowed to fake an orgasm in public.
186. ...or during practice.
187. We are not on a mission from God.
188. I will not use Pata as collateral when playing poker.
189. I will not build myself a robot girlfriend...or boyfriend.
190. If Yoshiki says "Bite me," he does not mean it literally.
191. Not allowed to carry a katana, even if I did have samurai ancestors.
192. I do not have the authority to call in an airstrike.
193. I do not have Yakuza connections.
194. Not allowed to trade my bandmate's instruments for sexual favors.
195. My Gloomy Bear necktie is not considered formal wear.
196. No one is coming to take me away.
197. Saying "I didn't do it" does not count as plausible deniability.
198. Do not taunt Yoshiki.
199. I cannot declare war on anyone.
200. I am a grown man and do not need anyone to check for monsters under the bed.
201. I will not take fashion advice from anyone in Buck-Tick. Especially Imai.
202. I will not try to take over the world.
203. Not allowed fill my bandmate's hotel rooms with crumpled-up newspaper so they can't get in.
204. Guitar polish is not to be used as personal lubricant.
205. I know perfectly well what sarcasm is and will stop taking things literally.
206. The camera will not steal my soul.
207. Not allowed to say "in accordance with the Prophecy" ever again.
208. My hair does not have superpowers.
209. Not allowed to refer to Toshi as a eunuch.
210. Not allowed to tell Yoshiki "I told you so."
211. Even if I was right.
212. I am not being repressed by any form or means and I should stop shouting that I am.
213. “It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to me.
Also, I'm seriously considering setting up a fic challenge for this. Anyone think they're up to it?
Edited on account of I'm a moron. *headdesk*
Here is the original Skippy's List.
And once again, all bullshit mmmkay?
101. Not allowed to bring in my bagpipes, not matter what I think they'll add to our music.
102. Same goes for my accordion and kazoo.
103. No one wants to be my "Snuugly-Wuggly-Boo."
104. The voices in my head do not count toward band votes.
105. Not allowed to put Pata in compromising positions and then take pictures.
106. Not allowed to take pictures even if someone else put him there.
107. Or he manages to put himself there.
108. No one wants to know what I once did with a redhead and a mudshark.
109. I will not take compromising photos of Pata's guitar with any of the roadies.
110. I will not put Toshi in a suitcase to save on traveling expenses.
111. Not allowed to lead Heath around on a leash, even if he agrees to it.
112. Not allowed to let Heath lead me around on a leash.
113. If someone asks me for my position on something, they are not referring to sexual positions.
114. I cannot crown myself king of anywhere.
115. Sex toys do not count as a business expense.
116. No monkeys.
117. Not allowed to style anyone's hair without their permission.
118. I will not steal Pata's clothes while he is in the shower.
119. No, not even if I replace them with a pretty dress.
120. Pata does not exist for my personal amusement and I should stop picking on him.
121. Will not refer to Yoshiki as "Mommy Dearest."
122. If Yoshiki is having a bitch-fit, not allowed to say "Awwww, does someone need a hug?"
123. Not allowed to plant explosives in Yoshiki's drumset.
124. I will not conduct illegal drug studies on my bandmates.
125. Will not pat Toshi on the head and say "Good boy" and offer him a treat.
126. No, not even if Yoshiki does it.
127. Not allowed to play plastic-wrap mummies ever again.
128. That goes for tinfoil mummies, too.
129. I am not not the reincarnation of any ancient Egyptian deities.
130. Take off that hat.
131. I will not impersonate wildlife of any kind.
132. Yoshiki does not have an mute button, and I should not go looking for it.
133. Birthday spankings are to be given only on birthdays - not half-birthdays, quarter-birthdays, my own birthday, national holidays, or "just because."
134. Duck tape is not to be used as bandages.
135. I am not to try anything I saw on a game show.
136. No backhoes or Molotov cocktails onstage.
137. In fact, if Yamantaka Eye did it, I am to assume I am not allowed to do it and not even fucking ask.
138. I am not the last of my people.
139. Not allowed to do the Macarena.
140. Or the Chicken Dance.
141. Not allowed to play the songs, either.
142. I will cease narrating everything that goes on around me.
143. Not allowed to make popcorn and pass it around when Yoshiki has a hissy-fit.
144. I may not toss Toshi.
145. I cannot have prostitutes of any gender delivered backstage.
146. I will not mix Nair with anyone's shampoo, no matter how mad I am at them.
147. If Yoshiki throws his drumsticks at me, he is not asking to play "fetch" and I should not bring them back to him in my mouth.
148. There is no such thing as Free Blowjob Day.
149. I do not have the authority to create any holidays.
150. Shouting "For Science!" does not justify whatever dumbfuck stunt I'm about to pull.
151. Not, I cannot have a jetpack.
152. Or a flying car.
153. I may not sell my soul for hookers and blow.
154. I may not invoke "Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies."
155. Not allowed to slip a bald wig on Pata's head while he sleeping.
156. No paintball in the studio.
157. No more drawing on Pata.
158. No writing on him, either.
159. Not allowed to create my own sovereign nation.
160. Not allowed to stage dramatic re-enactments of X-based doujinshi.
161. Not allowed to own, or be within 150 meters of, dynamite.
162. Will not attempt to give Yoshiki a gynecological exam.
163. I may not masturbate in the recording booth.
164. There is absolutely no need for me to strip-search my bandmates.
165. I will not the pants the record exes, no matter how bored I get.
166. Pata is not to used as a mannequin.
167. Inflatable sheep are not appropriate Secret Santa presents.
168. I will not use Toshi's mohawk for storage.
169. Not allowed to draw on the walls with crayons.
170. X's motto is not "Rape, Pillage, Burn."
171. I do not have diplomatic immunity.
172. Nobody needs to know what is going on inside my pants.
173. "You suck" is an invalid argument.
174. Fire drills do no require fire.
175. I will not attempt to create my own currency.
176. Not allowed to sell any of my bandmates to the fans.
177. Not even I promise to split the money with rest of them.
178. Not allowed to create an Eagle/Monkey breeding program in hopes of creating flying monkeys. Also, see rule #116.
179. "I was bored" is not a valid excuse for anything done with pyrotechnics.
180. "I was drunk" is also not a valid excuse for anything done with pyrotechnics.
181. Yoshiki is in fact the boss of me, and he can tell me what to do.
182. I will not play ceiling darts in the vicinity of others.
183. Not allowed to hang mistletoe from my belt buckle.
184. We do not need a moat.
185. Not allowed to fake an orgasm in public.
186. ...or during practice.
187. We are not on a mission from God.
188. I will not use Pata as collateral when playing poker.
189. I will not build myself a robot girlfriend...or boyfriend.
190. If Yoshiki says "Bite me," he does not mean it literally.
191. Not allowed to carry a katana, even if I did have samurai ancestors.
192. I do not have the authority to call in an airstrike.
193. I do not have Yakuza connections.
194. Not allowed to trade my bandmate's instruments for sexual favors.
195. My Gloomy Bear necktie is not considered formal wear.
196. No one is coming to take me away.
197. Saying "I didn't do it" does not count as plausible deniability.
198. Do not taunt Yoshiki.
199. I cannot declare war on anyone.
200. I am a grown man and do not need anyone to check for monsters under the bed.
201. I will not take fashion advice from anyone in Buck-Tick. Especially Imai.
202. I will not try to take over the world.
203. Not allowed fill my bandmate's hotel rooms with crumpled-up newspaper so they can't get in.
204. Guitar polish is not to be used as personal lubricant.
205. I know perfectly well what sarcasm is and will stop taking things literally.
206. The camera will not steal my soul.
207. Not allowed to say "in accordance with the Prophecy" ever again.
208. My hair does not have superpowers.
209. Not allowed to refer to Toshi as a eunuch.
210. Not allowed to tell Yoshiki "I told you so."
211. Even if I was right.
212. I am not being repressed by any form or means and I should stop shouting that I am.
213. “It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to me.
Also, I'm seriously considering setting up a fic challenge for this. Anyone think they're up to it?
Edited on account of I'm a moron. *headdesk*