White Collar: High Stakes Stakeout
Title: High Stakes Stakeout
Rating: G
Category: Humor
Length: Less than 1,000 words.
Description: Trapped in the car on a particularly dull stake out Peter and Neal debate the Ultimate Question. Who's side are you on?
High Stakes Stakeout
“Come on, Peter, let’s do this.”
“Absolutely not. I am not having this argument with you.”
“It’s not an argument, it’s a discussion.”
“Everything is an argument with you.”
“It’s a simple question. I’m just curious on your thoughts about it.”
“No.”
“Please.” Neal asked sweetly. “I am *so* bored right now.”
“That’s not my problem.”
“I’m going to make it your problem.” Neal warned. “We can either talk about this or I’m going to start plotting the next ‘crime of the century’ in my head. We both know that can’t lead anywhere good.”
“Fine.” Peter sighed in defeat.
Sitting in Peter’s car parked across the street from a night club and known mafia hang out the pair were waiting to see if their suspect would show for a money laundering deal. It was nearly three in the morning, but so far no luck. Having been trapped in the car together for the past six hours had been relatively pain free, but they had run out of regular conversation hours ago. Peter had no problems with just sitting silently, but Neal was incapable of being both conscious and silent at the same time for more than twenty minutes.
“Peter?”
“...Batman.” Peter begrudgingly answered.
“Really? Fascinating.” Neal smiled brightly. “I would not have pegged you for a supporter of vigilante justice.”
“They are both vigilantes.” Peter replied bitterly.
“I suppose that’s true. I never really thought of it that way.” Neal nodded thoughtfully. “I still think that Superman would win any fight between them hands down, probably within seconds. Batman is great and all, but he is just a man. Superman is half a step away from being a god. Batman just has money and intelligence.”
“Really? You’re going to knock the benefits of money and intelligence in a fight?” Peter asked incredulously. “That surprises me.”
“Don’t get me wrong, they are both excellent qualities, but neither one has ever helped me in a brawl. Just about every time I’ve ever gotten into a physical fight I’ve ended up on my ass.”
“Luckily for Batman he actually knows how to fight.”
“Yeah, but any thug with a gun could take Batman down if he got the drop on him.”
“And any idiot with a tiny green crystal can bring Superman to his knees just by walking up to him with it.” Peter countered. “That is the most ridiculous weakness ever.”
“Better than constantly being harassed by an insane clown.”
“Speaking of being harassed Superman’s arch nemesis doesn’t have any powers.”
“What?”
“Lex Luthor, he doesn’t have any superhuman powers and he’s a constant threat to Superman.”
“I never thought of that.” Neal nodded.
“He has exactly what Batman has, money and intelligence.”
“With a sightly better sense of fashion.” Neal chuckled. “But Lex never wins.”
“He comes damn close time and time again. Besides there is very little Superman can do that Batman doesn’t effectively match with technology. You take two people one who is good at math in their head and one who has a calculator, ask them a math problem and chances are they are both going to end up with the correct answer. If results are all that matter the guy with the calculator has less of a chance of making a mistake.”
“Superman can turn back time.” Neal pointed out. “Let’s see your calculator do that.”
“That was just ridiculous.”
“I agree.” Neal chuckled.
“You don’t really have a strong opinion about this either way, do you? You’re just trying to annoy me.”
“Is it working?”
“It is. The whole questions doesn’t even make any sense. Batman and Superman are both good guys, why would they fight?”
“You and I are both good guys, we still fight from time to time.”
“Not to the death.” Peter countered. “Besides, I’m a good guy, you are...marginally rehabilitated at best.”
“I suppose I always did relate more to Gambit than anyone else.” Neal chuckled.
“Who?”
“X-men anti-hero.”
“Ah, now you’re out of my generational knowledge.” Peter admitted.
“He’s a gentleman thief.”
“No such thing.”
“That’s a different discussion.”
“And one that I’m definitely not getting into with you.”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dare go there. Too many chances to incriminate myself during that one.”
Neal fell silent again, satisfied by the brief interaction. Peter went back to paying closer attention to the front door of the club, not that much attention was needed. If their mark hadn’t shown up by now he probably wasn’t going to. They still needed to stay at least another two hours just to be sure. It was only about fifteen minutes of quiet before Neal started to get restless once again. Peter made the mental note to leave Neal behind next time, although that was probably half the reason he was being so irritating tonight, in order to avoid future stake out assignments. Neal watched Peter with an amused smile suddenly touching his lips.
“What?” Peter growled.
“...Kirk or Picard?”
Rating: G
Category: Humor
Length: Less than 1,000 words.
Description: Trapped in the car on a particularly dull stake out Peter and Neal debate the Ultimate Question. Who's side are you on?
High Stakes Stakeout
“Come on, Peter, let’s do this.”
“Absolutely not. I am not having this argument with you.”
“It’s not an argument, it’s a discussion.”
“Everything is an argument with you.”
“It’s a simple question. I’m just curious on your thoughts about it.”
“No.”
“Please.” Neal asked sweetly. “I am *so* bored right now.”
“That’s not my problem.”
“I’m going to make it your problem.” Neal warned. “We can either talk about this or I’m going to start plotting the next ‘crime of the century’ in my head. We both know that can’t lead anywhere good.”
“Fine.” Peter sighed in defeat.
Sitting in Peter’s car parked across the street from a night club and known mafia hang out the pair were waiting to see if their suspect would show for a money laundering deal. It was nearly three in the morning, but so far no luck. Having been trapped in the car together for the past six hours had been relatively pain free, but they had run out of regular conversation hours ago. Peter had no problems with just sitting silently, but Neal was incapable of being both conscious and silent at the same time for more than twenty minutes.
“Peter?”
“...Batman.” Peter begrudgingly answered.
“Really? Fascinating.” Neal smiled brightly. “I would not have pegged you for a supporter of vigilante justice.”
“They are both vigilantes.” Peter replied bitterly.
“I suppose that’s true. I never really thought of it that way.” Neal nodded thoughtfully. “I still think that Superman would win any fight between them hands down, probably within seconds. Batman is great and all, but he is just a man. Superman is half a step away from being a god. Batman just has money and intelligence.”
“Really? You’re going to knock the benefits of money and intelligence in a fight?” Peter asked incredulously. “That surprises me.”
“Don’t get me wrong, they are both excellent qualities, but neither one has ever helped me in a brawl. Just about every time I’ve ever gotten into a physical fight I’ve ended up on my ass.”
“Luckily for Batman he actually knows how to fight.”
“Yeah, but any thug with a gun could take Batman down if he got the drop on him.”
“And any idiot with a tiny green crystal can bring Superman to his knees just by walking up to him with it.” Peter countered. “That is the most ridiculous weakness ever.”
“Better than constantly being harassed by an insane clown.”
“Speaking of being harassed Superman’s arch nemesis doesn’t have any powers.”
“What?”
“Lex Luthor, he doesn’t have any superhuman powers and he’s a constant threat to Superman.”
“I never thought of that.” Neal nodded.
“He has exactly what Batman has, money and intelligence.”
“With a sightly better sense of fashion.” Neal chuckled. “But Lex never wins.”
“He comes damn close time and time again. Besides there is very little Superman can do that Batman doesn’t effectively match with technology. You take two people one who is good at math in their head and one who has a calculator, ask them a math problem and chances are they are both going to end up with the correct answer. If results are all that matter the guy with the calculator has less of a chance of making a mistake.”
“Superman can turn back time.” Neal pointed out. “Let’s see your calculator do that.”
“That was just ridiculous.”
“I agree.” Neal chuckled.
“You don’t really have a strong opinion about this either way, do you? You’re just trying to annoy me.”
“Is it working?”
“It is. The whole questions doesn’t even make any sense. Batman and Superman are both good guys, why would they fight?”
“You and I are both good guys, we still fight from time to time.”
“Not to the death.” Peter countered. “Besides, I’m a good guy, you are...marginally rehabilitated at best.”
“I suppose I always did relate more to Gambit than anyone else.” Neal chuckled.
“Who?”
“X-men anti-hero.”
“Ah, now you’re out of my generational knowledge.” Peter admitted.
“He’s a gentleman thief.”
“No such thing.”
“That’s a different discussion.”
“And one that I’m definitely not getting into with you.”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dare go there. Too many chances to incriminate myself during that one.”
Neal fell silent again, satisfied by the brief interaction. Peter went back to paying closer attention to the front door of the club, not that much attention was needed. If their mark hadn’t shown up by now he probably wasn’t going to. They still needed to stay at least another two hours just to be sure. It was only about fifteen minutes of quiet before Neal started to get restless once again. Peter made the mental note to leave Neal behind next time, although that was probably half the reason he was being so irritating tonight, in order to avoid future stake out assignments. Neal watched Peter with an amused smile suddenly touching his lips.
“What?” Peter growled.
“...Kirk or Picard?”