Various

[phoebebeast]

I still feel so down.   I did talk to the older two a bit about what was going on.  They were sad to hear it, despite hardly remembering my friend and her family (though they did come up to meet J just after he was born).  Have finally written to my friend's husband to ask if a visit would be welcome. I guess there are two ways to approach this:

Comments

[happytune]

Bereavement is tough. Be kind to yourself. And when the time comes, remember that that is but a day, and thoughts, and memories, and dreams, are a lifetime. I found this a comforting thought during the two significant bereavements of my life - a friend sent it to me on a card on the funeral of the second.

[phoebebeast]

How do you always know the right thing to say? xx

[happytune]

Well I can't claim credit. :-) Another friend sent a card with this thought to me when we lost a school friend to the dreaded C.

There is also the wonderful poem Dear Bryan Wynter. Also very comforting and cathartic. http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoem.do?poemId=7507

[phoebebeast]

Yeah...you still always know what to say. Or what great sayings to pass along (like the mug, which was awesome - that sort of thing really merits a card, but who in this house has any time for stuff like that? So yes, an lj thanks instead!).

[jollymiller]

So sorry to hear this (the sad bits). Is it someone I knew? I'm guessing not, by the babysitting comment? The fact is that 1 in 3 of us will be closely affected by cancer in our lifetime, and by that I understand either ourselves, parents, children, so not really even including the friends, like these you mention, that will suffer. All you can do, is to self-examine, go for your smears, keep an eye on your skin and see the doctor about anything odd in you menstrual cycle, bladder, bowel, stomach, etc

[phoebebeast]

No worries!

I don't think you've met this friend (she's in her early 50s), but I'm sure I've mentioned her in passing, though I can't remember in what context. Possibly in that her husband and mother are Scottish. Her daughter and I share a birthday.

I did look at C's page a while ago - what a cutie! How awful for her and her family. I think it's always hard to know what to do in situations like these. I'm assuming this is one of F's friends? How is F (and the rest of the class) dealing with it? C sounds very positive.

I think we actually read Goodbye Mog ages ago, but I may get it out again next week. Obviously, the kids have no clue about having pets put down. If they imagine Merlin dying at all, it would probably consist of an image of him asleep on the floor after a long period of deterioration. I imagine that M will be more upset than B.

[happytune]

I'd second Goodbye Mog, especially for J. B and M may need something a bit older. I've found this a useful site: http://www.humanism.org.uk/education/parents/books-for-bereaved-children

[jollymiller]

My kids aren't too bothered about C - in F's class but not a close friend. Her big sister is in E's class, in her 2nd tier of friends. Mostly they're just not at school. I don't know how they'll be if it ends the way it probably will - I think they'll be shocked as they don't really realise it could happen. E's friend B is really upset. But she's lost all her grandparents in the last 4 years, so I wonder if this makes the difference? Her mother is also a radigrapher, so cancer is possibly a more everyday subject in their house. Her mother, my friend with the same name as you, is finding it hard, as people, including C's parents ask her how it is, how the disease progresses, how the last days are. She's great at being practical and gently honest. And cries in private