Hey guys.
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I feel I am losing touch with reality.

I slept for sixteen hours last night, and woke up at three in the afternoon. Despite this, I was tired all day, often feeling as if I could fall back to sleep at any moment. I wasn't hungry at all. I went on the internet, and I think I said some things to some people, but I can't remember what exactly. I ( Read more... )

 
A guy is masturbating over some soft porn when his parents bust into his room and catch him in the act. His mother immediately grounds him for a week. His father says "you're getting off lightly".
 

 

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Dammit man, it's about time I addressed this issue. I've been putting it off, avoiding it by spending my time drawing pictures of naked ladies, which is fun and all, but a man can't do that for the rest of his life. Well, okay, I imagine he could, but would it be all that fulfilling? Come to think of it, yes. Assuming he had some skill with the pen ( Read more... )

I qualified for my pilot's licence today. This came as something of a surprise, following as it did my funeral the previous week. Of course, you may not find such a bureaucratic bungle to be entirely out of place in this frenetic, caffeinated, snake-planed society of ours, but when you consider that my death was caused by pilot error during my ( Read more... )

LOOK! I'M USING A GIANT FONT! And I'm also using a really small font that you won't notice unless you go to the comments page because I cunningly changed the colour to match the background.

HOLY CRAP!

[Map of the lands]

It came to pass that Eänaglo, son of Eälinas, of the house of Aronlëa, was driving his truck northward, to the lands of Uranbar. Rarely were such journeys undertaken in these forsaken days, but Eänaglo was very much in the image of his forefathers of old, who were more akin to such dangerous roads. Besides, he had a load of ( Read more... )

So I was walking home late one afternoon, when this reporter stopped me for an interview. She said she'd heard stories, and she'd heard fables, that I was vicious on the mic and the turntables. Well, this young reporter I did adore, so I rocked a vicious rhyme like I never did before ( Read more... )