May I just say that summer can be over now -- really. Good bloody riddance and don't let the door hit you...

Love,

Petulah
 

To:
Osama Bin Laden
C/O Davey Jones' Locker

From:
Petulah

Dear Mr. Bin Laden,

Karma's a bitch, dude.

Don't let the gates of Hell hit you in the ass on the way in.

Love,

Petulah

I was talking to a friend at work the other day. He is a very devout Christian man who is planning on watching the Passion of the Christ as part of his Lenten devotions. This film touched him deeply he said, and watching it as a meditation helps to crystallize the meaning of Easter and helps him to process just how much horror Jesus suffered for ( Read more... )

It’s 10:15 on New Year’s morning and I’ve already broken one of my resolutions. (I don’t want to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say it involved a really amazing, well-aged cheddar.)

So that’s it, I’m done.  I don’t care if it is a new year; I’m not making any more damn resolutions.  I don’t keep them, they torment me and they just make ( Read more... )

Nothing to say, really. No important topic I’m interested in discussing. No hellish meltdown in process. No dark night of the soul to fret over. Breakfast was a little salty. That’s it.

Time

I’m turning the TV off today. The evil noise box is not going to suck my life out of me. Not today. Not on the last day of my long weekend. No sir. Hopefully, I’ ( Read more... )

The editorial board at the Petulah Times-Picayune would like to issue a retraction to a recently published open letter to Mel Gibson. It has come to our attention that Mr. Gibson did not hit Ms. Grigorieva, he merely slapped her to protect their child.  We do, however, stand by our warning about the Karma (and the soap).

We would also like to ( Read more... )

Esquire magazine has a running series called “What I’ve Learned.” In this series, they interview various famous (and infamous) people and ask them to list what they’ve learned in their life. Well, fame (or infamy) is not the only qualification for such self-indulgent introspection. Middle-aged nobodies can play the game too. So here it is…

Petulah ( Read more... )

Sometimes things are so startling they motivate you back to places you haven’t been in ages. It’s been over three years since I wrote in this blog, but the latest Mel Gibson meltdown has propelled me back. The tapes are all over the InterTubes and Gibson’s career is in a seeming free-fall. Since I think his advisors, keepers and gurus are giving ( Read more... )

That was quick…

“America’s favorite crystal-meth-snorting, male-escort-blowing evangelical Christian pastor is cured! While 99.9 percent of wannabe ex-gays struggle to overcome their homosexuality for decades, Ted Haggard was pronounced “completely heterosexual” after just 21 days of counseling!”

By DAN SAVAGE (Savage Love (http://www.laweekly.com/ ( Read more... )

In my last post, I mentioned Infanta’s adorable puppy habit of grabbing my stuff and taunting me with it. I also mentioned socks and things turning deadly.

I did not, however, think the socks would turn deadly.

Sock It To Me

I’ve been ignoring Infanta lately. I’ve been putting in long hours at work, and when I’m not working I’m so stressed out I’ ( Read more... )