(Untitled)

[petrichor_fizz]

So here it is. The present tense songfic with the angry!sex. It's rushed, and it's shorter than I would have liked, and for all I know it's riddled with typos, but it is what it is. I'll post the other piece tomorrow, probably. If not, you have permission to berate me mercilessly.

Basically, this was an exercise to get me slightly more comfortable

Comments

[petrichor_fizz]

Thanks! I'm glad you got something out of it. I'm not completely happy with it, but maybe there's a germ there.

I know what you mean about songfic. It's not my thing either, usually, but I thought I'd try it out anyway. What harm, right?

[inlaterdays]

Oh God

It's so hot

And so beautiful

And it's so full of yearning

And I love this

[petrichor_fizz]

Thank you!

I'm so glad it meant something to you.

[dangomango]

Oh, I like this. I have this thing for Wilson on his knees, nuzzling House's stomach and biting at his hips and other fun things. The dialogue is spot-on and the yearning is there, and I'm glad it wasn't too angsty because it was just angsty enough.

[petrichor_fizz]

Thank you! I really hoped that image would translate, because it came to me suddenly and I wasn't sure if it would work for other people the way it did for me.

I like to have just a frosting of angst. You know, bittersweet rather than slit-your-wrists-listening-to-Leonard-Cohen.

I'm so glad you liked it!

[elicia8]

Phew! That was some "practice run," lol. It was extraordinary. And hot. And really well-written.

Wilson falls to his knees and buries his nose in House's stomach, and House's hands are on the door again...

This whole moment, with Wilson on his knees, was so... theatrically beautiful and unusual that I'm pretty sure I was holding my breath while reading it. Very well done, dear. Thank you for sharing!

[petrichor_fizz]

OH YOU DON'T GET OFF THAT EASILY MISSY

I AM WRITING YOU SOMETHING WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

[Thank you xx]

[starlingthefool]

House tastes like whiskey, but it's his smell, up close, that's intoxicating.

LOVE that line.

"You get rid of her," House commands breathlessly. All he can think is more and harder, but he hesitates.

Bit of pronoun confusion there. And that's my only grammar nerd note.

The whole last paragraph is beautiful. I love ambiguity in writing.

I read this twice, skipping over the lyrics the first time, then going back and reading it again with them as part of the narrative. I think they fit well. I like this a lot, the desperation and angst and the open, unsure ending.

[petrichor_fizz]

Thanks!

I kept trying work out whether that (pronoun confusion) line was clear enough or not, and eventually decided to leave it, but seeing it there in isolation I think you're right. I'll change it.

I'm glad you didn't mind the lyrics - I thought I would try something different. And it IS Dylan.

Thanks again for the comment. I'm glad you liked it.