Comments | petitemiel: Rawhide Chapter 9

petitemiel

Rawhide Chapter 9

May 12, 2007 21:56

Title: Rawhide
Author: PetiteMiel
Pairing: Jack/Ennis
Rating: NC-17(eventually)
Warning: Contains harsh language, violence, m/m sexual encounters.
Disclaimer: All characters from Brokeback Mountain belong to Ann Proulx. I am just borrowing them and make no money from their use. No copyright infringement is intended. All other characters are mine ( Read more... )

rawhide, au!au

Comments 38

jacks_key May 13 2007, 02:49:51 UTC

Oh my goodness...so lovely, but so sad! The poor boys. I hope somehow they can be together!

onefreetoroam May 13 2007, 03:47:12 UTC

Bet Ennis was every tiny stream of water run down Jack's throat - when Jack was taking that drink. LOL

"...hand reaching out to touch Ennis’ cheek...", the very thing that Ennis is afraid of - that simple act could be their undoing if someone observed it - that thing that could "grab hold of them" in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And there it was in the next paragraph. LOL, seems someone now has a little secret he thinks will give him a little power over the others.

Thanks for the update.

rawhide bijou16 May 13 2007, 03:57:42 UTC

hi,
this was so good. i just hope ennis comes around. he wants jack so much and i hope that barnes doesn't cause either of them any problems or hurt either one of them.
please post again soon,
teresa

jbg1 May 13 2007, 04:45:00 UTC

your story is developing nicely, I just want to bring one thing up. I am not 100% sure about this, but the idea of Ennis bringing an oil-burning lantern into the hayloft, and then to be setting it down on a bale of hay? I don't know if that is realistic or not. To be bringing the lantern into the hayloft, that sure sounds like a dangerous thing to do, IMO. And I don't think you can put a hot lamp onto a bale of hay like that.

I am enjoying this story very much, thanks!

lalaynia May 13 2007, 05:17:24 UTC

I agree.

If Ennis brought an oil lantern into the barn, he would have hung it on a hook for safety.

And although I love the image of him in the lantern light, I'm not sure he would have left it lit while pleasuring himself.

Then again, maybe he's a tiny bit exhibitionist. I'd be okay with that. ;D

Nice story, please keep writing it!

-Joan

petitemiel May 13 2007, 06:18:35 UTC

If you recall in an earlier chapter Ennis did hang the lantern on a hook while Jack was reading to him in the stable. The difference between these two scenes as I saw it was that in the earlier scene he knew they were going to be there for a while and in this scene he only intended to leave the lamp on briefly prior to going to sleep but he got distracted by other things. Still I didn't consider it a safety issue though as I've stated in the post below this one.

I'm curious to know why you feel he would have turned the lamp off prior to pleasuring himself though as I think it would have been unrealistic for him to stop at that moment to worry about the lighting. He can't be seen from below if anyone were to enter the stable so he has no reason to worry on that account or do you just feel he would have been more modest about the undertaking?

lalaynia May 13 2007, 06:47:10 UTC

Absolutely I think he would have been more modest.

I think of Ennis as a "worrier." He thinks things have a way they "should be done" and in this time period what he was doing was a "sin" several different ways if he had been caught. Barns in those days were not airtight and were constructed with gaps for air circulation. He might have been seen. The light would definitely have been noticed, and possibly someone would come check it out- they could not afford a fire.

Would have been fun if Jack came to check it though. ;D

Everyone did it, everyone denied doing it, and everyone hid the fact that they liked doing it. Just the same as always.

I can see why you left the lantern lit, after all Ennis was upset about Jack. I just think that fire safety would be so ingrained in them, and the "sin" of self-pleasure so frowned upon, he wouldn't take the chance.

I could be wrong. And I like discussing it with you.

Please take what I say in the nicest possible way- cause that's the way I mean it. I'm enjoying the story!

Thanks!
-Joan

Thread 10

Oh, I like this......... fizzerbass May 13 2007, 04:55:55 UTC

both your story and this passage, "Jack followed him with his eyes as he moved through the tall grass, his horse trampling the wild flowers along with the weeds." Ennis is trying so hard to tamp down his "weeds" that he is crushing the wild flowers along with them. So achingly sad but so beautifully delivered by you.

Thanks for sharing this - I'm really enjoying it.