Broken - Chapter Seven: Healing (7 / 7)
Title: Broken - Chapter Seven: Healing (7 / 7)
Author: Persiflage_1
Characters/Pairings: Tenth Doctor/Martha, OCs
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Season 3 (Set in a post-S3 AU)
Summary: Travelling with the Doctor is always an adventure, but sometimes the adventures are not fun.
Disclaimer: The BBC owns "Doctor Who" and all that jazz…
Warning: There are going to be descriptions of torture.
Author Notes: This is going to be a lengthy story. It's a follow up to the Celebrating Martha's Birthday series and opens about 6 months after Martha agreed to travel with the Doctor again. The story will make use of flashbacks to describe Ten and Martha's adventures during those 6 months. The story is set on Meta Sigmafolio, the planet to which Ten offered to take Martha to see "a burst of starfire like oil on water" at the end of "The Last of the Time Lords" - so I've created some original characters and an alien culture for them.
Chapter One: Smith and Jones Again
Chapter Two: Field Testing
Chapter Three: The Scientific Method
Chapter Four: Warrior
Chapter Five: Waking and Sleeping
Chapter Six: Memories
~~~~~~
The TARDIS, somewhen in the Vortex
Following Martha's prescription for the Doctor, their days settled into a routine. Physically, at least, he got in shape fairly quickly and they were able to switch from swimming to Aikido to accompany the Tai Chi, much sooner than Martha had hoped. They still went swimming occasionally during an R&R session, but she sensed he was glad to give up the daily sessions. Most of their R&R times were spent reading together in the library or watching movies. They still had two issues to deal with, though - the nightmares that continued to plague the Doctor and his inability to discuss Stolt's threat to rape him. Then the Doctor came up with a partial solution to his sleep problems when he suggested spending time in the TARDIS' Zero Room.
"It's shielded from the rest of the Universe and was designed to help me after a regeneration."
"If it's shielded from the rest of the Universe, then I won't know if you're having a nightmare," Martha observed.
"Exactly. You can get the sleep that you need without being disturbed by me."
"But what about you? I won't be able to sing to you to soothe your nightmare."
"No. The TARDIS will take care of that - she knows the Brahms Lullaby as well as you do and she can play it to me."
"Oh, OK."
"Don't worry, she'll look after me." He smiled at her and she made herself smile back, although it wasn't easy.
"Of course she will," Martha answered instantly. "I shall miss you, that's all."
"I know." He kissed her forehead, then opened the door and went inside the Zero Room.
Martha went back to their room and sat down on the edge of the bed. In some ways, her relationship with the Doctor was little different from what it had been when they were stuck in 1969, except that now she knew what it was she was missing. She sighed, then picked up her phone and rang Jack.
* * * * * *
The Doctor stood in the Zero Room, his forehead pressed against the door. He was hurting Martha, although she hadn't said anything and he knew her well enough by now to know that she never would, but she didn't need to - he could read her moods and expressions well enough to know how she felt. She was hurt and disappointed by his continued avoidance of anything other than cursory kisses and hugs when they'd had so much more before. He wanted that again, but every time he thought of making love to Martha, his head filled with images of Stolt and Ivrig, and Stolt's threat to rape him. He felt a physical revulsion now at the idea of sex and on the odd occasion that he'd sensed that Martha was aroused, he felt angry that she still wanted him, even though he was so weak that she'd had to rescue him. Sometimes his anger was so strong that it felt like hate, and he wanted to grab her and fuck her senseless, which scared him because that wasn't him and he would never hurt her like that. He couldn't do it anyway - and even if he tried, the TARDIS would stop him. His ship protected her own as far as she was able, and Martha was hers and had been for a long time. He knew the TARDIS and Martha had bonded whilst he'd been a human - Martha had visited his ship regularly during those three months. Ironically, he'd actually realised his ship loved Martha before he'd fully realised his own love for his human companion.
He turned away from the door at last and made his way to the centre of the room which was bathed in the same golden-green glow as the Control Room. It was also currently filled with the sound of Brahms' Lullaby being hummed quietly. As he centred himself and stretched out until he was lying horizontally in mid-air, supported by his ship, the humming moved into singing, and the Doctor recognised Martha's voice softly singing to him. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift.
* * * * * *
Jack listened without interruption to Martha's account of everything that had occurred on Meta Sigmafolio. She didn't tell him about the Doctor's loss of interest in sex - to all intents and purposes he was her patient, but she knew that Jack was smart and would probably figure it out for himself.
"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry you're stuck with dealing with this on your own. As soon as the Doc's up to piloting the TARDIS again make sure you come to Cardiff - I want to see you both, OK?"
"That would be good. I miss you Jack."
"I miss you too."
"Take care of yourself, and him, and give the Doc my love."
"I will. Make sure you take care of yourself too. Bye."
Martha ended the call, then closed her phone and put it on the bedside locker. She felt better for having talked to Jack and she thought she might be able to get some sleep, although she'd got used to sharing the Doctor's big four poster bed with him again and it felt very empty without him. She undressed quickly, then curled up in the middle of the bed and fell asleep quite quickly.
She dreamt that she was walking on a beach somewhere - the sky was a deep indigo and scattered with stars, and moonlight shone on the sea. Ahead of her was a golden figure who seemed to be made wholly of golden light. She approached cautiously, full of curiosity.
Martha.
TARDIS?
Hello Martha.
She smiled in her sleep; she felt loved and secure, like a small child in the safety of their mother's arms. The figure seemed to surround her somehow, as if enveloping her in a hug.
Theta still loves you.
I know.
He's scared. He thinks that you consider him weak when he's always tried to be strong before.
I thought he knew me better than that? Martha sighed. How can I help him if he won't talk to me?
Maybe he will talk to me and you can speak through me?
Martha sensed that this was an offer the TARDIS did not make often, but she didn't know how she knew this. If you think it will help, I'll try it. Right now, I'll try just about anything.
I will try to draw him out.
Thank you. Martha felt a sense of warmth and well being fill her, then the figure withdrew and she fell into a deep dreamless sleep until the Doctor woke her.
There was no night or day aboard the TARDIS, but once the Doctor realised that they would be in the Vortex for an indefinite period whilst he recovered, he had got the TARDIS onto a 24 hour cycle with a seven hour period of night to allow them both to sleep at regular intervals. Martha had suggested the length of the night period knowing that she still needed to catch up on the sleep she had lost whilst they were on Meta Sigmafolio.
Now she sat up, pushing the hair out of her eyes and looked up at the Doctor. "Did you sleep?"
"A little." He caught sight of her mobile phone. "How's your mother?"
"My mum?" she asked, confused by the change of subject. He gestured to her phone. "Oh. I didn't ring mum, I rang Jack." She saw him tense up.
"You rang Jack?" he asked stiffly.
"Yes. He sends his love and asked that we visit him soon."
"I suppose you had a good laugh at my expense? How the mighty Time Lord has fallen!" Martha stared at him open-mouthed and speechless. "And I suppose you'll be running back to him for a fuck as soon as we get back to Earth?" the Doctor sneered.
"What are you talking about?" asked Martha. "Do you really think I'm that heartless, not to mention unprofessional, that I'd laugh at you over this? How can you even think that of me? You know me better than that!" They glared at each other across the bed, Martha breathing heavily in anger.
Suddenly the Doctor turned on his heel and strode out, leaving Martha staring after him in disbelief. She got dressed slowly, fighting the urge to burst into tears, then went to look for the Doctor. He wasn't in the garden where they did their Tai Chi exercises, or in the pool, the library or the kitchen. She tried the Med Bay on the way to the Control Room, but he was nowhere to be found. She sat down on the Captain's chair wondering where else to look for him and knowing that the TARDIS was vast enough that she could search for him for days and not find him if he chose. She sighed, then went to the garden to do her Tai Chi exercises, then to the kitchen for some breakfast. She made some strong coffee and ate two croissants, resolving to have a swim later to make up for pigging out. The Doctor still hadn't appeared by the time she finished her second cup of coffee, so she decided to look in one more place, and if he wasn't there, she would go to the library and read.
She set out to retrace their steps of the night before and made her way to the Zero Room. She wasn't sure if anyone else could enter the room once it was occupied, but there was no point in knocking since the Doctor had told her it was shielded from the rest of the Universe. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her suddenly sweaty hands on her jeans, then tried the door handle. The door opened smoothly and she stepped into a large room filled with a golden-green light and devoid of furniture. Sitting against one wall was the Doctor, his legs were bent up in front of him and his chin rested on his arms which were folded on his knees. He looked up at Martha as she stood in the doorway and saw in her eyes the same determined look he'd seen in New New York when he'd ended up telling her about Gallifrey.
Martha looked down at the Doctor and saw a resigned acceptance in his face, as if he recognised the inevitability of her presence and the conversation to come. She shut the door behind her and crossed to his side, noticing the way the lights momentarily brightened a little more, then dimmed again. She sat down beside him, then placed a hand on his arm briefly.
"We need to talk about what happened the day I found you." He gave a slight nod. "Would it be easier to show me?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Then show me."
The Doctor stretched his legs out, then took Martha's hand in his and placed it against his temple. He waited for her to close her eyes, then closed his own and, after a deep breath, remembered the morning she had rescued him.
Meta Sigmafolio, Day 6
The Doctor lay bound to the bed in the middle of the Cult's lab. He was flexing his arms and legs as much as possible, trying to prevent his muscles from seizing up. Ivrig was in the other room, presumably asleep since he hadn't heard any sound or movement from her for several hours. He vaguely hoped that she'd sleep for several more hours as he much preferred his captors asleep to awake.
A few minutes later he heard a noise, then Stolt's voice and knew he'd wished in vain. Stolt revolted him in so many ways - he seemed to take an unhealthy pleasure in torturing the Time Lord. He heard Ivrig answering Stolt and whilst he couldn't hear her words, he sensed trouble. The next moment the inner door opened and Stolt strode in, closely followed by Ivrig. One look was enough to tell the Doctor his instinct hadn't been wrong; Stolt was clearly aroused and Ivrig seemed to be heading the same way, judging by her physiological signs. The Doctor felt a prickle of fear along his spine - he was quite sure that Stolt was capable of all manner of depravities and he had no desire to experience any of them.
Martha, if you're out there, come soon please.
Stolt eyed the Doctor. "I'm done waiting to have my fun with you," he told the Time Lord.
"You know Kyla will punish you if you mess up her plans," the Doctor said, hoping his voice sounded steady.
"What she doesn't know, she can't punish," Stolt answered smugly, pulling a hypodermic from one trouser pocket and a small bottle from the other. "This drug will make you forget what we did, so you won't be able to blab. Of course, if I give you enough of it, you'll probably forget everything. I might give you more after you regenerate - make you into my sex slave." He filled the needle, then placed it carefully on the floor just below the edge of the bed.
The Doctor flinched in horror at Stolt's suggestion and Stolt laughed softly, without any real mirth, then turned to Ivrig. "Gag him. I don't want to listen to him prattling whilst I'm having my fun."
Ivrig pulled a strip of material, which the Doctor recognised as a tunic sash, from her pocket and gagged the Doctor, who couldn't help trying to resist until she backhanded him across the face. Stolt watched, smirking unpleasantly.
"Now strip," he ordered Ivrig. He moved around the bed, then grabbed the Doctor's chin, forcing him to make eye contact. "You'll enjoy this, assuming you're not completely impotent." He reached down with his other hand and fondled the Doctor through his shorts.
Ivrig was soon naked and the Doctor averted his eyes, then closed them briefly on a sudden memory of Martha's warm brown skin, such a contrast to the natural blue of the Sigmafolions. He didn't want to remember Martha in this context, it would taint his memories of her. Stolt gave him a last painful squeeze, then moved back to the foot of the bed. Ivrig moved to his side and Stolt raised one eyebrow at her. She unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it to hang loose, then unfastened his trousers, allowing them to drop to the floor. She knelt at his feet passively and the Doctor was suddenly reminded of Lucy Saxon. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push aside his memories. His eyes flew open again as he felt a hand in his groin and he saw Ivrig leering at him as she squeezed.
"Watch!" commanded Stolt.
Ivrig let go of the Doctor, then returned to her position at Stolt's feet. She held his right hip in one hand as she guided his already swollen cock into her mouth. He grabbed a handful of her hair, holding her head still, then proceeded to fuck her mouth forcefully. The Doctor's sense of revulsion grew as he listened to Stolt's grunts and Ivrig's moans and occasional gagging noises. He had screwed his eyes shut as soon as he could see that Stolt was too engrossed to notice whether or not he was watching.
After several minutes he heard Stolt give a guttural cry and opened his eyes again, knowing that he would be made to pay if he didn't appear to be watching. The Doctor immediately wished he'd kept his eyes closed when he saw that Stolt was ejaculating onto Ivrig's face and chest. The look in the Sigmafolion's eyes sickened the Doctor - Stolt all too clearly enjoyed the feeling of power he got from treating Ivrig in such a manner. After another few minutes or so, he let go of his cock and grabbed Ivrig's head in both hands. "Clean me up," he growled and she shivered with excitement, then obeyed; the Doctor averted his gaze as she began lapping at Stolt's limp cock.
"Time Lord." The Doctor looked at Stolt as he hauled Ivrig up from the floor. "Did we make you hard?" he asked. The Doctor shook his head - it was probably the least erotic display he'd ever witnessed.
Stolt held Ivrig's shoulder in a tight grip and watched the Doctor closely as he shoved his fingers into Ivrig's entrance. "Nice and wet," he commented, pulling his fingers out and holding them out to Ivrig, who obediently sucked them clean. "Get cleaned up," he ordered her, shoving her away carelessly.
The Doctor watched, trying to stay calm as Stolt leant over the foot of the bed and grabbed the his genitalia. "You're not even half hard!" exclaimed Stolt, disgusted and disappointed. "Perhaps I should have let you clean Ivrig up - would that have got it up? How do you like it Time Lord? You want to fuck her mouth? Or her cunt? Perhaps you're an arse man, like me? Or would you rather take it up the arse?" He was stroking his own length as he fondled the Doctor, trying to arouse the Time Lord with words as well as actions. He didn't seem to notice the Doctor glaring angrily at him, he was so lost in his speculations.
Ivrig came back from cleaning herself up and Stolt finally let go of the Doctor, who shifted uncomfortably. Stolt straightened up and turned to Ivrig. "I'm gonna fuck your arse," he told her and her eyes lit up with an expression of delight that sickened the Doctor. Stolt moved backwards carefully and the Doctor wondered why he hadn't taken his trousers off altogether.
"Hold the bed," Stolt ordered and Ivrig grasped the metal bar with both hands. "If you're good, I'll let you get yourself off, but no touching yourself until I say so, understood?" He bit her shoulder and she shuddered ecstatically.
"Yes Stolt."
"Good. Spread your legs wider." He waited whilst she complied, slid a hand into her entrance, then pulled his hand out and shoved it into her ass instead. She moaned in desire as he thrust his hand in and out of her a few times, then whimpered as he pulled his hand free. He bit her shoulder again. "Quiet." He grasped her hips, then shoved his erection into her ass.
"I love fucking a tight arse," he told the Doctor as he began to thrust forcefully into Ivrig, whom the Doctor could see was struggling to stay quiet as Stolt had ordered, biting her bottom lip hard. Stolt continued slamming into Ivrig, biting her on the shoulder at intervals.
"Now you can make a noise," he said and Ivrig immediately moaned loudly. "Now you can touch yourself." She moaned again as she pushed her fingers inside herself. The Doctor closed his eyes, revolted, as Stolt bit Ivrig's shoulder again, causing her to moan and shudder ecstatically.
"I'm gonna fuck his arse next," he told Ivrig between thrusts. "I think I should, in the interests of science. See how Time Lords like it." His voice was thick with lust and greed. "You wanna ride his cock?"
"Oh yeeeeesss," moaned Ivrig, causing the Doctor to shudder in disgust.
Stolt gave a guttural cry again as he emptied himself into Ivrig, then a very familiar voice spoke.
"OK, you two, fun's over now."
The Doctor's eyes flew open in surprise to see Martha Jones pocketing her TARDIS key.
The TARDIS, somewhen in the Vortex
Martha and the Doctor opened their eyes simultaneously, and she immediately hugged him close, both of them crying.
"Shh, shh. You're going to be OK. I'm here. I've got you," she whispered. He clung to her tightly and she stroked a hand across his back, trying to soothe him. She kissed the top of his head a couple of times and after a while his grip on her loosened a little. She lifted his head from her shoulder and kissed him gently, then brushed away his lingering tears. Somehow he didn't looks quite so broken and she suspected that was because he'd shared his memories with her.
"Come on, let's go and get some sleep," she suggested, helping him up and he put his arm around her shoulders, leaning on her just a little. She put an arm around his waist and guided him back to their room. He sat down heavily on the bed and she knelt to take off his shoes and socks, then helped him out of his suit jacket. He seemed numb and she wondered if he'd sleep better or if his nightmares would be worse now.
"Do you want to change into your pyjamas? You'll be more comfortable," Martha asked.
"Yes."
She reached under the pillow and pulled them out, then turned to leave him to change. He caught hold of her wrist with a shaky hand. "Stay, please?" he asked. She nodded, too surprised to speak, then moved to the other side of the bed and changed into her own pyjamas, being careful not to watch him. They got into bed together and the Doctor lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Martha lay on her left side, watching him through half closed eyes.
"I feel - " he paused as if he wasn't sure what he felt. "Lighter."
"Good."
He turned his head to look at her. "Thank you." She nodded. "I'm sorry," he said after a few more heartbeats.
"For what?"
"Because I was horrible to you earlier. I shouldn't have accused you of laughing at me with Jack. I know you wouldn't do that."
"No I wouldn't, ever."
He nodded, then lifted his arm away from his side and towards her, inviting her closer. She moved across the bed, putting her head on his shoulder and her right hand on his chest. He put his right arm around her and began rubbing her arm with small movements. She tentatively rubbed her fingers through his chest hair, waiting to see whether he would object, but he didn't. After a while his hand stilled and his breathing deepened, and she knew he was asleep. "Please, no nightmares," she murmured as she felt her own eyelids growing heavier.
Martha got her wish and they both slept for three hours, waking within moments of each other. She lifted her head from the Doctor's shoulder and found him watching her.
"OK?" she asked.
"Yes, thank you."
"Good." They got dressed again and went to the kitchen for lunch, the Doctor making scrambled eggs and beans on toast whilst Martha made coffee. After they had eaten, he offered her his hand and she took it gladly.
"Let's go for a walk," he suggested.
"Yes please."
He led her down the corridors to the Arboretum and as they walked hand in hand amongst the trees, they talked about the Cult and what they had done to the Doctor, then they talked about Martha's search for the Doctor - the frustration she'd felt at the Sheriffs' inability to find him and Meke's decision to betray the Cult.
"How did you know you could trust Meke?" asked the Doctor.
"In part it was instinct. When I was walking the world that year, I learnt to read people's body language - I had to, in order to survive. He literally stank of terror, but there was remorse in his eyes too. When he showed me your Sonic, I wanted to shake him until he told me everything, but that wouldn't have done either of us any good. Plus when he saw the TARDIS Control Room, he called her beautiful." She gave him a half smile. "Anyone who could show such appreciation for your ship in spite of their terror couldn't be all bad."
He nodded his understanding. In their wanderings they'd reached a clearing with a wooden bench on one side. "Shall we?" the Doctor asked, gesturing to the bench.
Martha nodded and they sat down together. He slipped an arm around her and she settled against his side with a feeling of homecoming.
"Why did you decide to take on Ivrig and Stolt on your own?"
"I thought I had the advantage of surprise on my side when they were so distracted. I never expected Stolt to give you that injection - if I'd anticipated that, I'd have fetched Secan."
He kissed the top of her head. "It's done now. Don't hold onto it any longer." He was silent for a while. "I think we can go and see Jack fairly soon, but I want to make sure I'm fully fit first. I don't know if the nightmares are going to ease off now, or if they'll continue, so I think it's best if I still spend time in the Zero Room whilst you sleep. You've still got some catching up to do, and I need my doctor fit and healthy, not suffering from exhaustion."
"I miss you. Your bed feels very empty without you."
"You could always sleep in your old room," the Doctor suggested.
"I suppose so," she said reluctantly.
"It's your choice."
"I know," she answered. They sat in silence again for a while.
"Alaunus told me that you impressed him immensely at the hospital, caring for me and reviewing the data from the Cult. He thought you were very brave, and so do I."
Martha lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up to see him giving her a look of immense pride. "He said one day that he thought I was very strong and I told him that you give me strength. Your belief in me and your love for me make me strong. He said you must be my Amzi."
His eyes widened in surprise and she knew he understood the reference to Sigmafolion culture. "If I am your Amzi, you are my Vida," he said.
"Vida?" asked Martha, surprised by the emotions playing across his face.
"My beloved one."
"Oh!" Her face flushed with embarrassment and pleasure.
He reached out to cup her face in both his hands. "Very beloved," he said softly, then kissed her on the lips. Martha felt a rush of love and desire wash through her and she couldn't help moaning a little. She slid one arm around the Doctor's neck as he kissed her on the jaw, then behind her ear. She put her other hand on his thigh and he made an indistinct sound which she took as encouragement and slid her hand up to touch his cock. He flinched backwards violently as if he'd received an electric shock, his eyes wide with fear and disgust.
"Oh God, Doctor! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Martha got up from the bench and stumbled across the clearing, fighting back tears. She wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She slumped against a tree and slid down it to sit on the grass, her legs bent up against her chest and her arms wrapped around her knees. She put her forehead down on her arms, cursing herself for not letting the Doctor make the first move.
A hand touched the top of her head and she looked up, tears on her cheeks, to see the Doctor kneeling beside her, looking upset. "I'm sorry Martha."
"You're sorry?" she asked incredulously.
He nodded. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I should have known you'd want more."
She swallowed back a bitter retort, knowing that getting into a fight wouldn't help. "I'm sorry too. I should have waited for you to make the first move."
He brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. "I guess we'll just have to take things slowly. I am sorry. I know this must be very hard for you."
She shrugged. "I'll live." She got to her feet. "Shall we go?"
He nodded and she moved away; he felt a stab of guilt that he was hurting her all over again, but he couldn't seem to move past his disgust at being touched that way. He followed Martha out of the Arboretum and back through the corridors.
"I'm going to go and have a shower," she said over her shoulder as she moved towards her old room.
"OK." He watched her go, then headed to the Control Room. He hadn't spent much time there lately since there was no real need whilst they were suspended in the Vortex, but now he felt a need for the comfort of a familiar place. He walked over to the console and ran his hands across the controls, a feather light caress of his fingertips. The background hum of the TARDIS took on a comforting note. I know old girl, I know. I think I really blew it this time. He felt admonishment from the TARDIS for doubting Martha, but he couldn't shake the feeling that she would soon tire of being his psychiatrist, which wasn't a very rewarding occupation, and he wondered if she'd prefer to go back home.
Martha showered twice, feeling dirty for not sufficiently restraining her desire for the Doctor to allow him to set the pace in their reunion. She wondered if he hated her now and knew she wouldn't dare to ask; she wondered, too, if he'd rather take her back home, away from the temptation of wanting more from him.
Finally she climbed out of the shower, dried herself off, then dug in her drawer for something to wear in bed. She didn't want to go back to their room just now, but she did feel like curling up in bed, and maybe she would have a nap again.
She lay in bed for two hours without sleeping, feeling too restless and over-wrought for sleep to come. Eventually she pulled a robe on over the t-shirt and shorts she'd found in her drawer, and padded out to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate.
She was staring into the fridge, wondering whether to have some ice cream instead of the hot chocolate when the Doctor walked in.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Not really," she answered indifferently, giving up the idea of ice cream and making herself the hot chocolate after all. She resolutely refused to look at the Doctor as he remained in the doorway watching her and wondering what to say. She didn't want to see the expression on his face in case he was angry or disgusted at her.
"Martha - "
"Please Doctor, I don't want to talk right now." She heard him sigh before he answered.
"Very well."
She took her mug of hot chocolate back to her room and sat in the middle of the bed, her back against the headboard. She felt guilty about refusing to talk to him, but she wasn't sure she could have a rational conversation at the moment, and she didn't want to start crying.
The hot chocolate did its usual trick of soothing her and she curled up soon afterwards before falling asleep for a few hours. When she woke up, she felt horribly disorientated and very hungry. She looked at the clock on her phone and saw it was eight o'clock by the TARDIS' schedule, which explained her disorientation. She went into the bathroom and washed her face, then got dressed and went to the kitchen for something to eat. On the counter was a plate under a cover with a note in the Doctor's cursive script:
I made your favourite Shepherd's Pie - I hope you enjoy it. I'll be in the library until bedtime, then in the Zero Room, but if you want to talk, come and find me. Love Theta.
She put the covered plate into the TARDIS' equivalent of a microwave, then found some cutlery and poured a glass of apple juice. She ate hungrily, then washed up, before heading to the library. She couldn't reject such a nice peace offering. She found the Doctor sprawled on one of the leather sofas in the library, his glasses perched on his nose, reading Richard II. He looked up as she approached, and smiled, then sat up.
"Hello." He patted the sofa beside him and she sat down.
"Hello."
"Have you eaten?"
"Yes thank you." She clasped her hands between her knees, sitting forward to stare at her feet. "I'm sorry about earlier."
"Don't be." He turned slightly to look at her profile. "I've been putting you through the wringer lately and you haven't complained once, nor have you given up on me. That gives you the right to decide that you don't want to talk to me if you feel you need some space."
"I can't give up on you," Martha said simply.
"And don't think I'm not very grateful for your - tenacity."
Martha looked at him properly. "You were going to say stubbornness."
He nodded. "I was, but it sounds far more negative than tenacity. And negative is something you are not."
She leant back in her seat. "Are you going to read to me then?"
He smiled. "I'd be delighted to Doctor Jones."
She smiled back and he slid an arm around her, pulling her closer until she rested her head against his shoulder, then she closed her eyes and listened.
Roald Dahl Plass, Cardiff
The TARDIS materialised with the customary wheezing of her engines and shortly afterwards Martha stepped out of the doors and walked over to where Jack Harkness was waiting.
He pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her deeply. "Hello gorgeous."
"Hello yourself." She couldn't help smiling with pleasure at seeing him.
"How is he?"
"Not too bad. No more nightmares and physically fit. I'd say almost 100% recovered." She stepped out of Jack's embrace, trying not to show her reluctance at letting go of him. "I must go, I've got a train to catch. I'll see you later."
"Sure. Give your family my love."
"I will." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then hurried away towards the station.
Jack watched her until she was out of sight, then let himself into the TARDIS. The Doctor was sitting on the Captain's chair with his feet propped up on the edge of the console and his arms stretched out along the back of the chair. He pulled his gaze down from the ceiling as Jack entered, and gave the immortal man a warm smile. Jack could see that the Time Lord was genuinely pleased to see him, but he saw something else in his eyes, a guardedness that hadn't been there before.
"Jack." The Doctor stood up in one lithe movement and Jack wasted no time in crossing the Control Room to give him as tight a hug as he'd given Martha, although he refrained from kissing the Doctor.
"Hey Doc. How are you?"
"Fit and healthy. You?"
"I'm good." He let go of the Doctor and stepped back, giving him a searching look. "Martha's looking good too."
The Doctor nodded agreement, but Jack could see a new tension in the set of his shoulders. "She's leaving me."
"She is?" Jack asked, surprised.
"I think so."
"You think so? But you don't know for definite." The Doctor shook his head. "I think I need some coffee whilst you explain."
They made their way to the kitchen and the Doctor made them both some coffee, then he told Jack everything about their trip to Meta Sigmafolio, and its consequences. Jack listened silently through three cups of coffee, letting the Doctor talk.
"So, you think that because you and Martha are no longer sleeping together or having sex, she's going to chuck in travelling with you?" he asked.
"It's not just that, I know she's not that shallow," the Doctor said. "But I do think it's the final straw."
"Well I don't believe it," Jack asserted. "That girl adores you. She wouldn't abandon you just because the two of you are no longer at it like rabbits." He stood up. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" asked the Doctor, bewildered.
"Shopping." Jack pulled his great coat back on.
"We are?"
Jack nodded. "You are going to buy Doctor Martha Jones some very expensive 'thank you' gifts, because God knows she deserves them, so you can show her just how much you appreciate everything she's done for you."
"Oh." The Doctor followed Jack back through the TARDIS, collecting his coat from the support strut where it hung, and pulled it on. He blinked a bit in the sunlight outside the TARDIS' doors, realising this was the first time he'd left the TARDIS since the day they'd left Meta Sigmafolio, and followed Jack across the plaza.
They returned to the TARDIS several hours later, laden with bags, which they left in the Doctor's room, before making their way to the kitchen for pizza.
"I can't believe how much we bought," the Doctor said.
Jack grinned cheekily. "I guess you won't want to go shopping with me again in a hurry, huh?"
"No," the Doctor agreed in heartfelt tones.
Jack chuckled, then got up and pulled a bottle from the pocket of his greatcoat. The Doctor frowned at it.
"Is that hyper vodka?" he asked as Jack found some glasses.
"Yep."
"You're not planning to try and get me drunk, I hope?"
"No Doc, just gonna get you a little more relaxed. Come on, let's go somewhere more comfortable." He carried the glasses upside down by their stems in one hand and the bottle in the other, leading the way to the Doctor's room. The Time Lord stopped on the threshold. "It's OK," Jack said, turning and seeing him hesitating. "I'm not gonna hurt you, and I'm not gonna try to take advantage of you, I promise."
The Doctor walked over to the bed and sat down with a feeling of inevitability. Jack waited until the Doctor was halfway through his second glass before making his move. He took the Doctor's glass and put in on the bedside locker with his own and the bottle, then put his arms around the Time Lord.
"OK?" he asked quietly.
"Yes."
"Good." He pulled back and kissed the Doctor chastely on the mouth, "You love Martha, don’t you?"
"Yes."
Jack kissed him more firmly. "And she adores you."
"Yes." The Doctor was starting to feel breathless.
Jack brushed his tongue across the Doctor's lips, which parted, so Jack slid his tongue into the Doctor's mouth. "And you know she'll never hurt you?"
"Yes." The Doctor started to kiss Jack back, taking control and leaving him breathless when they finally pulled apart.
"So show her you trust her and let her make love to you," Jack said.
"I can't. I'm too scared."
"I know you are Doc, and I bet she knows it too, she's a smart girl." The Doctor nodded. "So let her show you there's nothing to fear. You know she's not with you just for the sex. She's with you because she loves you and she wants to help you to keep the Universe in order, to help people whenever and wherever she can. Sex with you is just a bonus, the icing on the cake. Let her eat cake." Jack kissed the Doctor again, sensing that the Time Lord was becoming aroused. As he pulled away again he looked up and saw Martha standing in the doorway. She gave him a nod, then disappeared again.
"I've gotta go," he told the Doctor, who hadn't seen Martha. "Be brave. I'll see you again soon, I hope." He kissed the Doctor's forehead, then headed to the Control Room where Martha was sitting on the Captain's chair. She got up and Jack hugged her hard, then kissed her deeply.
"Good luck," he whispered, then moved away.
"Thank you."
As he let himself out of the TARDIS, Jack looked back and saw Martha heading back to the Doctor's room. She found him sprawled across the bed, looking more relaxed than she'd seen him lately. He looked up as she walked in, pulling off her red leather jacket, which she dropped onto the chair by the dressing table. She sat down on the bed and he smiled up at her.
"Hello. Good day?" She had seen the carrier bags by the foot of the bed, but decided she would save commenting on them until later.
"Yes thank you. You?"
She nodded. "Mum and Tish send their love. I missed Dad, he was at work."
He nodded, then pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you."
"I love you too."
He started to kiss her and she sighed softly. His hands skimmed down her sides to the hem of her t-shirt. "Martha."
"Yes."
"Make love to me please?"
She pulled away to look at his face and saw that he wanted her. She smiled, then reached out to unbutton his shirt. "Gladly."
Later
"So what's in the bags?" asked Martha as she lay sated beside the Doctor.
"Presents, for you."
"What, all of them?" He nodded. "Can I look."
He grinned. "Of course." He watched as she slid off the bed and walked around it to collect the bags, reminding himself that he was very fortunate to have such a lovely young woman as his Companion. She had suggested that whilst they made love, they telepathically remember the love-making they'd shared after they had spent Christmas with her family, reasoning that it was a way of shutting out any negative memories that might otherwise intrude, and he'd been pleased to discover it worked very well.
Martha put the bags down on the bed and began taking out their contents. First a royal purple, satin, off-the-shoulder dress, with matching shoes, then a new silver chain with an M and a T intertwined. The third bag revealed an ivory silk bra and knickers set, whilst the fourth contained a luxury box of chocolates.
"Very nice, thank you." She moved everything off the bed, then climbed back onto it and stretched out beside the Doctor. He slid a hand up her leg from her knee to her thigh.
"Thank you, for everything," he said, then began kissing her and Martha knew they wouldn't be moving from the bed anytime soon.
"You're welcome," she murmured, smiling.
Author: Persiflage_1
Characters/Pairings: Tenth Doctor/Martha, OCs
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Season 3 (Set in a post-S3 AU)
Summary: Travelling with the Doctor is always an adventure, but sometimes the adventures are not fun.
Disclaimer: The BBC owns "Doctor Who" and all that jazz…
Warning: There are going to be descriptions of torture.
Author Notes: This is going to be a lengthy story. It's a follow up to the Celebrating Martha's Birthday series and opens about 6 months after Martha agreed to travel with the Doctor again. The story will make use of flashbacks to describe Ten and Martha's adventures during those 6 months. The story is set on Meta Sigmafolio, the planet to which Ten offered to take Martha to see "a burst of starfire like oil on water" at the end of "The Last of the Time Lords" - so I've created some original characters and an alien culture for them.
Chapter One: Smith and Jones Again
Chapter Two: Field Testing
Chapter Three: The Scientific Method
Chapter Four: Warrior
Chapter Five: Waking and Sleeping
Chapter Six: Memories
~~~~~~
The TARDIS, somewhen in the Vortex
Following Martha's prescription for the Doctor, their days settled into a routine. Physically, at least, he got in shape fairly quickly and they were able to switch from swimming to Aikido to accompany the Tai Chi, much sooner than Martha had hoped. They still went swimming occasionally during an R&R session, but she sensed he was glad to give up the daily sessions. Most of their R&R times were spent reading together in the library or watching movies. They still had two issues to deal with, though - the nightmares that continued to plague the Doctor and his inability to discuss Stolt's threat to rape him. Then the Doctor came up with a partial solution to his sleep problems when he suggested spending time in the TARDIS' Zero Room.
"It's shielded from the rest of the Universe and was designed to help me after a regeneration."
"If it's shielded from the rest of the Universe, then I won't know if you're having a nightmare," Martha observed.
"Exactly. You can get the sleep that you need without being disturbed by me."
"But what about you? I won't be able to sing to you to soothe your nightmare."
"No. The TARDIS will take care of that - she knows the Brahms Lullaby as well as you do and she can play it to me."
"Oh, OK."
"Don't worry, she'll look after me." He smiled at her and she made herself smile back, although it wasn't easy.
"Of course she will," Martha answered instantly. "I shall miss you, that's all."
"I know." He kissed her forehead, then opened the door and went inside the Zero Room.
Martha went back to their room and sat down on the edge of the bed. In some ways, her relationship with the Doctor was little different from what it had been when they were stuck in 1969, except that now she knew what it was she was missing. She sighed, then picked up her phone and rang Jack.
* * * * * *
The Doctor stood in the Zero Room, his forehead pressed against the door. He was hurting Martha, although she hadn't said anything and he knew her well enough by now to know that she never would, but she didn't need to - he could read her moods and expressions well enough to know how she felt. She was hurt and disappointed by his continued avoidance of anything other than cursory kisses and hugs when they'd had so much more before. He wanted that again, but every time he thought of making love to Martha, his head filled with images of Stolt and Ivrig, and Stolt's threat to rape him. He felt a physical revulsion now at the idea of sex and on the odd occasion that he'd sensed that Martha was aroused, he felt angry that she still wanted him, even though he was so weak that she'd had to rescue him. Sometimes his anger was so strong that it felt like hate, and he wanted to grab her and fuck her senseless, which scared him because that wasn't him and he would never hurt her like that. He couldn't do it anyway - and even if he tried, the TARDIS would stop him. His ship protected her own as far as she was able, and Martha was hers and had been for a long time. He knew the TARDIS and Martha had bonded whilst he'd been a human - Martha had visited his ship regularly during those three months. Ironically, he'd actually realised his ship loved Martha before he'd fully realised his own love for his human companion.
He turned away from the door at last and made his way to the centre of the room which was bathed in the same golden-green glow as the Control Room. It was also currently filled with the sound of Brahms' Lullaby being hummed quietly. As he centred himself and stretched out until he was lying horizontally in mid-air, supported by his ship, the humming moved into singing, and the Doctor recognised Martha's voice softly singing to him. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift.
* * * * * *
Jack listened without interruption to Martha's account of everything that had occurred on Meta Sigmafolio. She didn't tell him about the Doctor's loss of interest in sex - to all intents and purposes he was her patient, but she knew that Jack was smart and would probably figure it out for himself.
"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry you're stuck with dealing with this on your own. As soon as the Doc's up to piloting the TARDIS again make sure you come to Cardiff - I want to see you both, OK?"
"That would be good. I miss you Jack."
"I miss you too."
"Take care of yourself, and him, and give the Doc my love."
"I will. Make sure you take care of yourself too. Bye."
Martha ended the call, then closed her phone and put it on the bedside locker. She felt better for having talked to Jack and she thought she might be able to get some sleep, although she'd got used to sharing the Doctor's big four poster bed with him again and it felt very empty without him. She undressed quickly, then curled up in the middle of the bed and fell asleep quite quickly.
She dreamt that she was walking on a beach somewhere - the sky was a deep indigo and scattered with stars, and moonlight shone on the sea. Ahead of her was a golden figure who seemed to be made wholly of golden light. She approached cautiously, full of curiosity.
Martha.
TARDIS?
Hello Martha.
She smiled in her sleep; she felt loved and secure, like a small child in the safety of their mother's arms. The figure seemed to surround her somehow, as if enveloping her in a hug.
Theta still loves you.
I know.
He's scared. He thinks that you consider him weak when he's always tried to be strong before.
I thought he knew me better than that? Martha sighed. How can I help him if he won't talk to me?
Maybe he will talk to me and you can speak through me?
Martha sensed that this was an offer the TARDIS did not make often, but she didn't know how she knew this. If you think it will help, I'll try it. Right now, I'll try just about anything.
I will try to draw him out.
Thank you. Martha felt a sense of warmth and well being fill her, then the figure withdrew and she fell into a deep dreamless sleep until the Doctor woke her.
There was no night or day aboard the TARDIS, but once the Doctor realised that they would be in the Vortex for an indefinite period whilst he recovered, he had got the TARDIS onto a 24 hour cycle with a seven hour period of night to allow them both to sleep at regular intervals. Martha had suggested the length of the night period knowing that she still needed to catch up on the sleep she had lost whilst they were on Meta Sigmafolio.
Now she sat up, pushing the hair out of her eyes and looked up at the Doctor. "Did you sleep?"
"A little." He caught sight of her mobile phone. "How's your mother?"
"My mum?" she asked, confused by the change of subject. He gestured to her phone. "Oh. I didn't ring mum, I rang Jack." She saw him tense up.
"You rang Jack?" he asked stiffly.
"Yes. He sends his love and asked that we visit him soon."
"I suppose you had a good laugh at my expense? How the mighty Time Lord has fallen!" Martha stared at him open-mouthed and speechless. "And I suppose you'll be running back to him for a fuck as soon as we get back to Earth?" the Doctor sneered.
"What are you talking about?" asked Martha. "Do you really think I'm that heartless, not to mention unprofessional, that I'd laugh at you over this? How can you even think that of me? You know me better than that!" They glared at each other across the bed, Martha breathing heavily in anger.
Suddenly the Doctor turned on his heel and strode out, leaving Martha staring after him in disbelief. She got dressed slowly, fighting the urge to burst into tears, then went to look for the Doctor. He wasn't in the garden where they did their Tai Chi exercises, or in the pool, the library or the kitchen. She tried the Med Bay on the way to the Control Room, but he was nowhere to be found. She sat down on the Captain's chair wondering where else to look for him and knowing that the TARDIS was vast enough that she could search for him for days and not find him if he chose. She sighed, then went to the garden to do her Tai Chi exercises, then to the kitchen for some breakfast. She made some strong coffee and ate two croissants, resolving to have a swim later to make up for pigging out. The Doctor still hadn't appeared by the time she finished her second cup of coffee, so she decided to look in one more place, and if he wasn't there, she would go to the library and read.
She set out to retrace their steps of the night before and made her way to the Zero Room. She wasn't sure if anyone else could enter the room once it was occupied, but there was no point in knocking since the Doctor had told her it was shielded from the rest of the Universe. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her suddenly sweaty hands on her jeans, then tried the door handle. The door opened smoothly and she stepped into a large room filled with a golden-green light and devoid of furniture. Sitting against one wall was the Doctor, his legs were bent up in front of him and his chin rested on his arms which were folded on his knees. He looked up at Martha as she stood in the doorway and saw in her eyes the same determined look he'd seen in New New York when he'd ended up telling her about Gallifrey.
Martha looked down at the Doctor and saw a resigned acceptance in his face, as if he recognised the inevitability of her presence and the conversation to come. She shut the door behind her and crossed to his side, noticing the way the lights momentarily brightened a little more, then dimmed again. She sat down beside him, then placed a hand on his arm briefly.
"We need to talk about what happened the day I found you." He gave a slight nod. "Would it be easier to show me?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Then show me."
The Doctor stretched his legs out, then took Martha's hand in his and placed it against his temple. He waited for her to close her eyes, then closed his own and, after a deep breath, remembered the morning she had rescued him.
Meta Sigmafolio, Day 6
The Doctor lay bound to the bed in the middle of the Cult's lab. He was flexing his arms and legs as much as possible, trying to prevent his muscles from seizing up. Ivrig was in the other room, presumably asleep since he hadn't heard any sound or movement from her for several hours. He vaguely hoped that she'd sleep for several more hours as he much preferred his captors asleep to awake.
A few minutes later he heard a noise, then Stolt's voice and knew he'd wished in vain. Stolt revolted him in so many ways - he seemed to take an unhealthy pleasure in torturing the Time Lord. He heard Ivrig answering Stolt and whilst he couldn't hear her words, he sensed trouble. The next moment the inner door opened and Stolt strode in, closely followed by Ivrig. One look was enough to tell the Doctor his instinct hadn't been wrong; Stolt was clearly aroused and Ivrig seemed to be heading the same way, judging by her physiological signs. The Doctor felt a prickle of fear along his spine - he was quite sure that Stolt was capable of all manner of depravities and he had no desire to experience any of them.
Martha, if you're out there, come soon please.
Stolt eyed the Doctor. "I'm done waiting to have my fun with you," he told the Time Lord.
"You know Kyla will punish you if you mess up her plans," the Doctor said, hoping his voice sounded steady.
"What she doesn't know, she can't punish," Stolt answered smugly, pulling a hypodermic from one trouser pocket and a small bottle from the other. "This drug will make you forget what we did, so you won't be able to blab. Of course, if I give you enough of it, you'll probably forget everything. I might give you more after you regenerate - make you into my sex slave." He filled the needle, then placed it carefully on the floor just below the edge of the bed.
The Doctor flinched in horror at Stolt's suggestion and Stolt laughed softly, without any real mirth, then turned to Ivrig. "Gag him. I don't want to listen to him prattling whilst I'm having my fun."
Ivrig pulled a strip of material, which the Doctor recognised as a tunic sash, from her pocket and gagged the Doctor, who couldn't help trying to resist until she backhanded him across the face. Stolt watched, smirking unpleasantly.
"Now strip," he ordered Ivrig. He moved around the bed, then grabbed the Doctor's chin, forcing him to make eye contact. "You'll enjoy this, assuming you're not completely impotent." He reached down with his other hand and fondled the Doctor through his shorts.
Ivrig was soon naked and the Doctor averted his eyes, then closed them briefly on a sudden memory of Martha's warm brown skin, such a contrast to the natural blue of the Sigmafolions. He didn't want to remember Martha in this context, it would taint his memories of her. Stolt gave him a last painful squeeze, then moved back to the foot of the bed. Ivrig moved to his side and Stolt raised one eyebrow at her. She unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it to hang loose, then unfastened his trousers, allowing them to drop to the floor. She knelt at his feet passively and the Doctor was suddenly reminded of Lucy Saxon. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push aside his memories. His eyes flew open again as he felt a hand in his groin and he saw Ivrig leering at him as she squeezed.
"Watch!" commanded Stolt.
Ivrig let go of the Doctor, then returned to her position at Stolt's feet. She held his right hip in one hand as she guided his already swollen cock into her mouth. He grabbed a handful of her hair, holding her head still, then proceeded to fuck her mouth forcefully. The Doctor's sense of revulsion grew as he listened to Stolt's grunts and Ivrig's moans and occasional gagging noises. He had screwed his eyes shut as soon as he could see that Stolt was too engrossed to notice whether or not he was watching.
After several minutes he heard Stolt give a guttural cry and opened his eyes again, knowing that he would be made to pay if he didn't appear to be watching. The Doctor immediately wished he'd kept his eyes closed when he saw that Stolt was ejaculating onto Ivrig's face and chest. The look in the Sigmafolion's eyes sickened the Doctor - Stolt all too clearly enjoyed the feeling of power he got from treating Ivrig in such a manner. After another few minutes or so, he let go of his cock and grabbed Ivrig's head in both hands. "Clean me up," he growled and she shivered with excitement, then obeyed; the Doctor averted his gaze as she began lapping at Stolt's limp cock.
"Time Lord." The Doctor looked at Stolt as he hauled Ivrig up from the floor. "Did we make you hard?" he asked. The Doctor shook his head - it was probably the least erotic display he'd ever witnessed.
Stolt held Ivrig's shoulder in a tight grip and watched the Doctor closely as he shoved his fingers into Ivrig's entrance. "Nice and wet," he commented, pulling his fingers out and holding them out to Ivrig, who obediently sucked them clean. "Get cleaned up," he ordered her, shoving her away carelessly.
The Doctor watched, trying to stay calm as Stolt leant over the foot of the bed and grabbed the his genitalia. "You're not even half hard!" exclaimed Stolt, disgusted and disappointed. "Perhaps I should have let you clean Ivrig up - would that have got it up? How do you like it Time Lord? You want to fuck her mouth? Or her cunt? Perhaps you're an arse man, like me? Or would you rather take it up the arse?" He was stroking his own length as he fondled the Doctor, trying to arouse the Time Lord with words as well as actions. He didn't seem to notice the Doctor glaring angrily at him, he was so lost in his speculations.
Ivrig came back from cleaning herself up and Stolt finally let go of the Doctor, who shifted uncomfortably. Stolt straightened up and turned to Ivrig. "I'm gonna fuck your arse," he told her and her eyes lit up with an expression of delight that sickened the Doctor. Stolt moved backwards carefully and the Doctor wondered why he hadn't taken his trousers off altogether.
"Hold the bed," Stolt ordered and Ivrig grasped the metal bar with both hands. "If you're good, I'll let you get yourself off, but no touching yourself until I say so, understood?" He bit her shoulder and she shuddered ecstatically.
"Yes Stolt."
"Good. Spread your legs wider." He waited whilst she complied, slid a hand into her entrance, then pulled his hand out and shoved it into her ass instead. She moaned in desire as he thrust his hand in and out of her a few times, then whimpered as he pulled his hand free. He bit her shoulder again. "Quiet." He grasped her hips, then shoved his erection into her ass.
"I love fucking a tight arse," he told the Doctor as he began to thrust forcefully into Ivrig, whom the Doctor could see was struggling to stay quiet as Stolt had ordered, biting her bottom lip hard. Stolt continued slamming into Ivrig, biting her on the shoulder at intervals.
"Now you can make a noise," he said and Ivrig immediately moaned loudly. "Now you can touch yourself." She moaned again as she pushed her fingers inside herself. The Doctor closed his eyes, revolted, as Stolt bit Ivrig's shoulder again, causing her to moan and shudder ecstatically.
"I'm gonna fuck his arse next," he told Ivrig between thrusts. "I think I should, in the interests of science. See how Time Lords like it." His voice was thick with lust and greed. "You wanna ride his cock?"
"Oh yeeeeesss," moaned Ivrig, causing the Doctor to shudder in disgust.
Stolt gave a guttural cry again as he emptied himself into Ivrig, then a very familiar voice spoke.
"OK, you two, fun's over now."
The Doctor's eyes flew open in surprise to see Martha Jones pocketing her TARDIS key.
The TARDIS, somewhen in the Vortex
Martha and the Doctor opened their eyes simultaneously, and she immediately hugged him close, both of them crying.
"Shh, shh. You're going to be OK. I'm here. I've got you," she whispered. He clung to her tightly and she stroked a hand across his back, trying to soothe him. She kissed the top of his head a couple of times and after a while his grip on her loosened a little. She lifted his head from her shoulder and kissed him gently, then brushed away his lingering tears. Somehow he didn't looks quite so broken and she suspected that was because he'd shared his memories with her.
"Come on, let's go and get some sleep," she suggested, helping him up and he put his arm around her shoulders, leaning on her just a little. She put an arm around his waist and guided him back to their room. He sat down heavily on the bed and she knelt to take off his shoes and socks, then helped him out of his suit jacket. He seemed numb and she wondered if he'd sleep better or if his nightmares would be worse now.
"Do you want to change into your pyjamas? You'll be more comfortable," Martha asked.
"Yes."
She reached under the pillow and pulled them out, then turned to leave him to change. He caught hold of her wrist with a shaky hand. "Stay, please?" he asked. She nodded, too surprised to speak, then moved to the other side of the bed and changed into her own pyjamas, being careful not to watch him. They got into bed together and the Doctor lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Martha lay on her left side, watching him through half closed eyes.
"I feel - " he paused as if he wasn't sure what he felt. "Lighter."
"Good."
He turned his head to look at her. "Thank you." She nodded. "I'm sorry," he said after a few more heartbeats.
"For what?"
"Because I was horrible to you earlier. I shouldn't have accused you of laughing at me with Jack. I know you wouldn't do that."
"No I wouldn't, ever."
He nodded, then lifted his arm away from his side and towards her, inviting her closer. She moved across the bed, putting her head on his shoulder and her right hand on his chest. He put his right arm around her and began rubbing her arm with small movements. She tentatively rubbed her fingers through his chest hair, waiting to see whether he would object, but he didn't. After a while his hand stilled and his breathing deepened, and she knew he was asleep. "Please, no nightmares," she murmured as she felt her own eyelids growing heavier.
Martha got her wish and they both slept for three hours, waking within moments of each other. She lifted her head from the Doctor's shoulder and found him watching her.
"OK?" she asked.
"Yes, thank you."
"Good." They got dressed again and went to the kitchen for lunch, the Doctor making scrambled eggs and beans on toast whilst Martha made coffee. After they had eaten, he offered her his hand and she took it gladly.
"Let's go for a walk," he suggested.
"Yes please."
He led her down the corridors to the Arboretum and as they walked hand in hand amongst the trees, they talked about the Cult and what they had done to the Doctor, then they talked about Martha's search for the Doctor - the frustration she'd felt at the Sheriffs' inability to find him and Meke's decision to betray the Cult.
"How did you know you could trust Meke?" asked the Doctor.
"In part it was instinct. When I was walking the world that year, I learnt to read people's body language - I had to, in order to survive. He literally stank of terror, but there was remorse in his eyes too. When he showed me your Sonic, I wanted to shake him until he told me everything, but that wouldn't have done either of us any good. Plus when he saw the TARDIS Control Room, he called her beautiful." She gave him a half smile. "Anyone who could show such appreciation for your ship in spite of their terror couldn't be all bad."
He nodded his understanding. In their wanderings they'd reached a clearing with a wooden bench on one side. "Shall we?" the Doctor asked, gesturing to the bench.
Martha nodded and they sat down together. He slipped an arm around her and she settled against his side with a feeling of homecoming.
"Why did you decide to take on Ivrig and Stolt on your own?"
"I thought I had the advantage of surprise on my side when they were so distracted. I never expected Stolt to give you that injection - if I'd anticipated that, I'd have fetched Secan."
He kissed the top of her head. "It's done now. Don't hold onto it any longer." He was silent for a while. "I think we can go and see Jack fairly soon, but I want to make sure I'm fully fit first. I don't know if the nightmares are going to ease off now, or if they'll continue, so I think it's best if I still spend time in the Zero Room whilst you sleep. You've still got some catching up to do, and I need my doctor fit and healthy, not suffering from exhaustion."
"I miss you. Your bed feels very empty without you."
"You could always sleep in your old room," the Doctor suggested.
"I suppose so," she said reluctantly.
"It's your choice."
"I know," she answered. They sat in silence again for a while.
"Alaunus told me that you impressed him immensely at the hospital, caring for me and reviewing the data from the Cult. He thought you were very brave, and so do I."
Martha lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up to see him giving her a look of immense pride. "He said one day that he thought I was very strong and I told him that you give me strength. Your belief in me and your love for me make me strong. He said you must be my Amzi."
His eyes widened in surprise and she knew he understood the reference to Sigmafolion culture. "If I am your Amzi, you are my Vida," he said.
"Vida?" asked Martha, surprised by the emotions playing across his face.
"My beloved one."
"Oh!" Her face flushed with embarrassment and pleasure.
He reached out to cup her face in both his hands. "Very beloved," he said softly, then kissed her on the lips. Martha felt a rush of love and desire wash through her and she couldn't help moaning a little. She slid one arm around the Doctor's neck as he kissed her on the jaw, then behind her ear. She put her other hand on his thigh and he made an indistinct sound which she took as encouragement and slid her hand up to touch his cock. He flinched backwards violently as if he'd received an electric shock, his eyes wide with fear and disgust.
"Oh God, Doctor! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Martha got up from the bench and stumbled across the clearing, fighting back tears. She wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She slumped against a tree and slid down it to sit on the grass, her legs bent up against her chest and her arms wrapped around her knees. She put her forehead down on her arms, cursing herself for not letting the Doctor make the first move.
A hand touched the top of her head and she looked up, tears on her cheeks, to see the Doctor kneeling beside her, looking upset. "I'm sorry Martha."
"You're sorry?" she asked incredulously.
He nodded. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I should have known you'd want more."
She swallowed back a bitter retort, knowing that getting into a fight wouldn't help. "I'm sorry too. I should have waited for you to make the first move."
He brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. "I guess we'll just have to take things slowly. I am sorry. I know this must be very hard for you."
She shrugged. "I'll live." She got to her feet. "Shall we go?"
He nodded and she moved away; he felt a stab of guilt that he was hurting her all over again, but he couldn't seem to move past his disgust at being touched that way. He followed Martha out of the Arboretum and back through the corridors.
"I'm going to go and have a shower," she said over her shoulder as she moved towards her old room.
"OK." He watched her go, then headed to the Control Room. He hadn't spent much time there lately since there was no real need whilst they were suspended in the Vortex, but now he felt a need for the comfort of a familiar place. He walked over to the console and ran his hands across the controls, a feather light caress of his fingertips. The background hum of the TARDIS took on a comforting note. I know old girl, I know. I think I really blew it this time. He felt admonishment from the TARDIS for doubting Martha, but he couldn't shake the feeling that she would soon tire of being his psychiatrist, which wasn't a very rewarding occupation, and he wondered if she'd prefer to go back home.
Martha showered twice, feeling dirty for not sufficiently restraining her desire for the Doctor to allow him to set the pace in their reunion. She wondered if he hated her now and knew she wouldn't dare to ask; she wondered, too, if he'd rather take her back home, away from the temptation of wanting more from him.
Finally she climbed out of the shower, dried herself off, then dug in her drawer for something to wear in bed. She didn't want to go back to their room just now, but she did feel like curling up in bed, and maybe she would have a nap again.
She lay in bed for two hours without sleeping, feeling too restless and over-wrought for sleep to come. Eventually she pulled a robe on over the t-shirt and shorts she'd found in her drawer, and padded out to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate.
She was staring into the fridge, wondering whether to have some ice cream instead of the hot chocolate when the Doctor walked in.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Not really," she answered indifferently, giving up the idea of ice cream and making herself the hot chocolate after all. She resolutely refused to look at the Doctor as he remained in the doorway watching her and wondering what to say. She didn't want to see the expression on his face in case he was angry or disgusted at her.
"Martha - "
"Please Doctor, I don't want to talk right now." She heard him sigh before he answered.
"Very well."
She took her mug of hot chocolate back to her room and sat in the middle of the bed, her back against the headboard. She felt guilty about refusing to talk to him, but she wasn't sure she could have a rational conversation at the moment, and she didn't want to start crying.
The hot chocolate did its usual trick of soothing her and she curled up soon afterwards before falling asleep for a few hours. When she woke up, she felt horribly disorientated and very hungry. She looked at the clock on her phone and saw it was eight o'clock by the TARDIS' schedule, which explained her disorientation. She went into the bathroom and washed her face, then got dressed and went to the kitchen for something to eat. On the counter was a plate under a cover with a note in the Doctor's cursive script:
I made your favourite Shepherd's Pie - I hope you enjoy it. I'll be in the library until bedtime, then in the Zero Room, but if you want to talk, come and find me. Love Theta.
She put the covered plate into the TARDIS' equivalent of a microwave, then found some cutlery and poured a glass of apple juice. She ate hungrily, then washed up, before heading to the library. She couldn't reject such a nice peace offering. She found the Doctor sprawled on one of the leather sofas in the library, his glasses perched on his nose, reading Richard II. He looked up as she approached, and smiled, then sat up.
"Hello." He patted the sofa beside him and she sat down.
"Hello."
"Have you eaten?"
"Yes thank you." She clasped her hands between her knees, sitting forward to stare at her feet. "I'm sorry about earlier."
"Don't be." He turned slightly to look at her profile. "I've been putting you through the wringer lately and you haven't complained once, nor have you given up on me. That gives you the right to decide that you don't want to talk to me if you feel you need some space."
"I can't give up on you," Martha said simply.
"And don't think I'm not very grateful for your - tenacity."
Martha looked at him properly. "You were going to say stubbornness."
He nodded. "I was, but it sounds far more negative than tenacity. And negative is something you are not."
She leant back in her seat. "Are you going to read to me then?"
He smiled. "I'd be delighted to Doctor Jones."
She smiled back and he slid an arm around her, pulling her closer until she rested her head against his shoulder, then she closed her eyes and listened.
Roald Dahl Plass, Cardiff
The TARDIS materialised with the customary wheezing of her engines and shortly afterwards Martha stepped out of the doors and walked over to where Jack Harkness was waiting.
He pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her deeply. "Hello gorgeous."
"Hello yourself." She couldn't help smiling with pleasure at seeing him.
"How is he?"
"Not too bad. No more nightmares and physically fit. I'd say almost 100% recovered." She stepped out of Jack's embrace, trying not to show her reluctance at letting go of him. "I must go, I've got a train to catch. I'll see you later."
"Sure. Give your family my love."
"I will." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then hurried away towards the station.
Jack watched her until she was out of sight, then let himself into the TARDIS. The Doctor was sitting on the Captain's chair with his feet propped up on the edge of the console and his arms stretched out along the back of the chair. He pulled his gaze down from the ceiling as Jack entered, and gave the immortal man a warm smile. Jack could see that the Time Lord was genuinely pleased to see him, but he saw something else in his eyes, a guardedness that hadn't been there before.
"Jack." The Doctor stood up in one lithe movement and Jack wasted no time in crossing the Control Room to give him as tight a hug as he'd given Martha, although he refrained from kissing the Doctor.
"Hey Doc. How are you?"
"Fit and healthy. You?"
"I'm good." He let go of the Doctor and stepped back, giving him a searching look. "Martha's looking good too."
The Doctor nodded agreement, but Jack could see a new tension in the set of his shoulders. "She's leaving me."
"She is?" Jack asked, surprised.
"I think so."
"You think so? But you don't know for definite." The Doctor shook his head. "I think I need some coffee whilst you explain."
They made their way to the kitchen and the Doctor made them both some coffee, then he told Jack everything about their trip to Meta Sigmafolio, and its consequences. Jack listened silently through three cups of coffee, letting the Doctor talk.
"So, you think that because you and Martha are no longer sleeping together or having sex, she's going to chuck in travelling with you?" he asked.
"It's not just that, I know she's not that shallow," the Doctor said. "But I do think it's the final straw."
"Well I don't believe it," Jack asserted. "That girl adores you. She wouldn't abandon you just because the two of you are no longer at it like rabbits." He stood up. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" asked the Doctor, bewildered.
"Shopping." Jack pulled his great coat back on.
"We are?"
Jack nodded. "You are going to buy Doctor Martha Jones some very expensive 'thank you' gifts, because God knows she deserves them, so you can show her just how much you appreciate everything she's done for you."
"Oh." The Doctor followed Jack back through the TARDIS, collecting his coat from the support strut where it hung, and pulled it on. He blinked a bit in the sunlight outside the TARDIS' doors, realising this was the first time he'd left the TARDIS since the day they'd left Meta Sigmafolio, and followed Jack across the plaza.
They returned to the TARDIS several hours later, laden with bags, which they left in the Doctor's room, before making their way to the kitchen for pizza.
"I can't believe how much we bought," the Doctor said.
Jack grinned cheekily. "I guess you won't want to go shopping with me again in a hurry, huh?"
"No," the Doctor agreed in heartfelt tones.
Jack chuckled, then got up and pulled a bottle from the pocket of his greatcoat. The Doctor frowned at it.
"Is that hyper vodka?" he asked as Jack found some glasses.
"Yep."
"You're not planning to try and get me drunk, I hope?"
"No Doc, just gonna get you a little more relaxed. Come on, let's go somewhere more comfortable." He carried the glasses upside down by their stems in one hand and the bottle in the other, leading the way to the Doctor's room. The Time Lord stopped on the threshold. "It's OK," Jack said, turning and seeing him hesitating. "I'm not gonna hurt you, and I'm not gonna try to take advantage of you, I promise."
The Doctor walked over to the bed and sat down with a feeling of inevitability. Jack waited until the Doctor was halfway through his second glass before making his move. He took the Doctor's glass and put in on the bedside locker with his own and the bottle, then put his arms around the Time Lord.
"OK?" he asked quietly.
"Yes."
"Good." He pulled back and kissed the Doctor chastely on the mouth, "You love Martha, don’t you?"
"Yes."
Jack kissed him more firmly. "And she adores you."
"Yes." The Doctor was starting to feel breathless.
Jack brushed his tongue across the Doctor's lips, which parted, so Jack slid his tongue into the Doctor's mouth. "And you know she'll never hurt you?"
"Yes." The Doctor started to kiss Jack back, taking control and leaving him breathless when they finally pulled apart.
"So show her you trust her and let her make love to you," Jack said.
"I can't. I'm too scared."
"I know you are Doc, and I bet she knows it too, she's a smart girl." The Doctor nodded. "So let her show you there's nothing to fear. You know she's not with you just for the sex. She's with you because she loves you and she wants to help you to keep the Universe in order, to help people whenever and wherever she can. Sex with you is just a bonus, the icing on the cake. Let her eat cake." Jack kissed the Doctor again, sensing that the Time Lord was becoming aroused. As he pulled away again he looked up and saw Martha standing in the doorway. She gave him a nod, then disappeared again.
"I've gotta go," he told the Doctor, who hadn't seen Martha. "Be brave. I'll see you again soon, I hope." He kissed the Doctor's forehead, then headed to the Control Room where Martha was sitting on the Captain's chair. She got up and Jack hugged her hard, then kissed her deeply.
"Good luck," he whispered, then moved away.
"Thank you."
As he let himself out of the TARDIS, Jack looked back and saw Martha heading back to the Doctor's room. She found him sprawled across the bed, looking more relaxed than she'd seen him lately. He looked up as she walked in, pulling off her red leather jacket, which she dropped onto the chair by the dressing table. She sat down on the bed and he smiled up at her.
"Hello. Good day?" She had seen the carrier bags by the foot of the bed, but decided she would save commenting on them until later.
"Yes thank you. You?"
She nodded. "Mum and Tish send their love. I missed Dad, he was at work."
He nodded, then pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you."
"I love you too."
He started to kiss her and she sighed softly. His hands skimmed down her sides to the hem of her t-shirt. "Martha."
"Yes."
"Make love to me please?"
She pulled away to look at his face and saw that he wanted her. She smiled, then reached out to unbutton his shirt. "Gladly."
Later
"So what's in the bags?" asked Martha as she lay sated beside the Doctor.
"Presents, for you."
"What, all of them?" He nodded. "Can I look."
He grinned. "Of course." He watched as she slid off the bed and walked around it to collect the bags, reminding himself that he was very fortunate to have such a lovely young woman as his Companion. She had suggested that whilst they made love, they telepathically remember the love-making they'd shared after they had spent Christmas with her family, reasoning that it was a way of shutting out any negative memories that might otherwise intrude, and he'd been pleased to discover it worked very well.
Martha put the bags down on the bed and began taking out their contents. First a royal purple, satin, off-the-shoulder dress, with matching shoes, then a new silver chain with an M and a T intertwined. The third bag revealed an ivory silk bra and knickers set, whilst the fourth contained a luxury box of chocolates.
"Very nice, thank you." She moved everything off the bed, then climbed back onto it and stretched out beside the Doctor. He slid a hand up her leg from her knee to her thigh.
"Thank you, for everything," he said, then began kissing her and Martha knew they wouldn't be moving from the bed anytime soon.
"You're welcome," she murmured, smiling.