Silence Must Be Heard [JongKey]
Title: Silence Must Be Heard
Pairings: Jonghyun x Key
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff I guess?
Wordcount: 1.073
A/N: The prompt is Silence from SHINee pairing/prompt generator, and I guess it knew who was accessing it when it gave the pairing. I had never used it before, not even knew how the page looked like. This is how strong my bias is. Also, if anyone knows where I got the title from, you can prompt me a drabble or anything because I’ll srsly love you.
Summary:
It’s easy to know, when he’s in silence. It’s easy to know what he seeks in silence, that so unfamiliar silence that doesn’t have to sound like anything. It doesn’t have to sound like screaming fans or blaring music or uninterrupted talk.
When he’s in silence he comes to me. It’s like he wants me to get rid of it, to help him overcome it, because it doesn’t feel right for him, he’s afraid of it. Deep inside, he knows the reason of his own silence, but he’s never ready for it. So he comes to me.
He doesn’t talk. He grabs my hand and pulls me away and nothing matters to him, nor to me to be frank. He takes me somewhere empty; no one bothers because that’s Key and he can. Sometimes he pushes me angrily inside an empty room, sometimes he does it gently. In silence, however. He doesn’t talk and he doesn’t want me to talk. I don’t mind his demeanor because I’m used to it, except it’s always thrilling.
He’s fragile when he’s in silence. It consumes him, sometimes in the shape of tears, other times with a burning desire. I am honored that he chooses to take it on me, in the dark of an empty room, because even if he doesn’t accept his silence, I do. For he knows I do is that he comes to me. I am always ready. His silence to me sounds perfectly clear.
It can sound like an apology. That’s when he hugs me tenderly, nuzzles his nose on my neck, on my cheeks, pecks it and holds me firmly in his arms. I smile, he should know he doesn’t need to apology to me for anything; I am incapable of staying hurt with him. But he doesn’t want to hear me saying it, so I hug him just as strongly and hope he will someday figure it out.
It often sounds like rage, like a deafening yelling. He loses it and it’s only safe because it’s me who he uses to vent. I’m roughly pinned to the wall and he punches me on the chest repeatedly, with strength and revolt, I hear his ragged breath but that’s all. I simply watch he extenuate himself until he droops his head on my shoulder and feels defeated. I’m there because I can show him it’s not that bad, he can make it through. He has me. Once again I think that’s the reason why he always chooses me.
When it sounds like sadness is that it affects me the most, gets me fazed, troubled. I struggle to steady my own emotions in order to handle his. It’s hard to see him crying, hard to feel him crying. It’s harder to maintain my silence though, because there is just so much I want to say to his comfort. My mind realizes that I wouldn’t be able to, at last. My acts are worth a thousand words that I could say, so I let him cling on me, shaking, sobbing, and hold onto him trying to soothe his despair, his angst, realizing his pain is uncountable times worse than my own because it’s his. He’s so precious to me, the most precious.
Lately it has been sounding like passion. Blistering hot, uncontrollable passion that he shows by backing me up against the wall and kissing me deeply. I don’t know whether my world stops spinning or it’s just too fast that I can’t see or feel it, but it would be something extraordinary like those. I hear my own harsh breath, I hear sloppy kisses, I hear friction of clothes and after that I think I can hear friction of skin. It becomes an annoying buzz all too soon, but I can do nothing about it because it’s inside my own head, and it won’t stop until he stops, until we stop. Then, when it ends, silence is so satisfying, so meaningful, although I start hearing soft melodies in the back of my head while holding him close, securely.
I’ve always knew the reason why silence strikes him so hard, defeats him so easily. There are certain feelings that are too extreme for him to voice them. With me he doesn’t have to try to be reasonable, coherent or eloquent, because I’m not there to judge him. With me, he can deal with his feelings the way he knows, not the way he thinks he should. He shares his silence with me knowing it won’t change what I think of him, no matter what he does when we’re like this.
One day I realize his silence is becoming my silence too. It begins sounding like love but I’m pretty sure I am the only one hearing it. When he comes to me one more time, even though I know I am not supposed to speak, as always, it seems incredibly more difficult to keep it inside, like nothing has ever been before.
This time is when I know he’s not as oblivious to the sounds of our silence as I’ve always assumed. He looks deep inside my eyes questioningly, so close that even with a sparse illumination I can see his glimmering orbs. I’m holding my breath in and I’m not really missing it, because my entire body is already numb. I don’t know what I should do, and if I should do anything at all. He’s always in the command. But I really want to tell him that what I feel for him is going beyond our friendship and our skin affair. However, breaking the silence is like breaking a vow, and I can’t.
“Don’t be afraid,” he says very low but not enough to be a whisper. I flinch, visibly, because it’s the first time it happens. “Don’t let my inaptness with words contaminate you.”
“I love you, Kibum,” I blurt like a balloon popping. My brain doesn’t even register my own words but my heart does so, increasing its beat rate to a painful level.
He kisses me. Just as deep and breathtaking as always, but right now it doesn’t feel the same as before. There is this one little detail that only now I’m aware of. The real reason behind his silence and his choice. It was not just any feeling that he couldn’t voice.
With this kiss, I realize he never knew how to say I Love You.
Pairings: Jonghyun x Key
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff I guess?
Wordcount: 1.073
A/N: The prompt is Silence from SHINee pairing/prompt generator, and I guess it knew who was accessing it when it gave the pairing. I had never used it before, not even knew how the page looked like. This is how strong my bias is. Also, if anyone knows where I got the title from, you can prompt me a drabble or anything because I’ll srsly love you.
Summary:
It’s easy to know, when he’s in silence. It’s easy to know what he seeks in silence, that so unfamiliar silence that doesn’t have to sound like anything. It doesn’t have to sound like screaming fans or blaring music or uninterrupted talk.
When he’s in silence he comes to me. It’s like he wants me to get rid of it, to help him overcome it, because it doesn’t feel right for him, he’s afraid of it. Deep inside, he knows the reason of his own silence, but he’s never ready for it. So he comes to me.
He doesn’t talk. He grabs my hand and pulls me away and nothing matters to him, nor to me to be frank. He takes me somewhere empty; no one bothers because that’s Key and he can. Sometimes he pushes me angrily inside an empty room, sometimes he does it gently. In silence, however. He doesn’t talk and he doesn’t want me to talk. I don’t mind his demeanor because I’m used to it, except it’s always thrilling.
He’s fragile when he’s in silence. It consumes him, sometimes in the shape of tears, other times with a burning desire. I am honored that he chooses to take it on me, in the dark of an empty room, because even if he doesn’t accept his silence, I do. For he knows I do is that he comes to me. I am always ready. His silence to me sounds perfectly clear.
It can sound like an apology. That’s when he hugs me tenderly, nuzzles his nose on my neck, on my cheeks, pecks it and holds me firmly in his arms. I smile, he should know he doesn’t need to apology to me for anything; I am incapable of staying hurt with him. But he doesn’t want to hear me saying it, so I hug him just as strongly and hope he will someday figure it out.
It often sounds like rage, like a deafening yelling. He loses it and it’s only safe because it’s me who he uses to vent. I’m roughly pinned to the wall and he punches me on the chest repeatedly, with strength and revolt, I hear his ragged breath but that’s all. I simply watch he extenuate himself until he droops his head on my shoulder and feels defeated. I’m there because I can show him it’s not that bad, he can make it through. He has me. Once again I think that’s the reason why he always chooses me.
When it sounds like sadness is that it affects me the most, gets me fazed, troubled. I struggle to steady my own emotions in order to handle his. It’s hard to see him crying, hard to feel him crying. It’s harder to maintain my silence though, because there is just so much I want to say to his comfort. My mind realizes that I wouldn’t be able to, at last. My acts are worth a thousand words that I could say, so I let him cling on me, shaking, sobbing, and hold onto him trying to soothe his despair, his angst, realizing his pain is uncountable times worse than my own because it’s his. He’s so precious to me, the most precious.
Lately it has been sounding like passion. Blistering hot, uncontrollable passion that he shows by backing me up against the wall and kissing me deeply. I don’t know whether my world stops spinning or it’s just too fast that I can’t see or feel it, but it would be something extraordinary like those. I hear my own harsh breath, I hear sloppy kisses, I hear friction of clothes and after that I think I can hear friction of skin. It becomes an annoying buzz all too soon, but I can do nothing about it because it’s inside my own head, and it won’t stop until he stops, until we stop. Then, when it ends, silence is so satisfying, so meaningful, although I start hearing soft melodies in the back of my head while holding him close, securely.
I’ve always knew the reason why silence strikes him so hard, defeats him so easily. There are certain feelings that are too extreme for him to voice them. With me he doesn’t have to try to be reasonable, coherent or eloquent, because I’m not there to judge him. With me, he can deal with his feelings the way he knows, not the way he thinks he should. He shares his silence with me knowing it won’t change what I think of him, no matter what he does when we’re like this.
One day I realize his silence is becoming my silence too. It begins sounding like love but I’m pretty sure I am the only one hearing it. When he comes to me one more time, even though I know I am not supposed to speak, as always, it seems incredibly more difficult to keep it inside, like nothing has ever been before.
This time is when I know he’s not as oblivious to the sounds of our silence as I’ve always assumed. He looks deep inside my eyes questioningly, so close that even with a sparse illumination I can see his glimmering orbs. I’m holding my breath in and I’m not really missing it, because my entire body is already numb. I don’t know what I should do, and if I should do anything at all. He’s always in the command. But I really want to tell him that what I feel for him is going beyond our friendship and our skin affair. However, breaking the silence is like breaking a vow, and I can’t.
“Don’t be afraid,” he says very low but not enough to be a whisper. I flinch, visibly, because it’s the first time it happens. “Don’t let my inaptness with words contaminate you.”
“I love you, Kibum,” I blurt like a balloon popping. My brain doesn’t even register my own words but my heart does so, increasing its beat rate to a painful level.
He kisses me. Just as deep and breathtaking as always, but right now it doesn’t feel the same as before. There is this one little detail that only now I’m aware of. The real reason behind his silence and his choice. It was not just any feeling that he couldn’t voice.
With this kiss, I realize he never knew how to say I Love You.