Fic: Etiquette (Valentines #5)
Title: Etiquette
Author: Pepper
Rating: G
Season: One
Related SG-1 Episode(s): None
Featured Character(s): Teal'c, Jack, Sam, Daniel
Pairing(s): Sam/Jack
Summary: Teal'c reflects on the situation.
A/N: For Lennie - by request! I felt I'd neglected Teal'c, so this is his take. And it's true about the fork, or so I heard.
Series: Intruder Alert / Sweet, Cute, Tacky / Days Of Wine And Roses / Unprofessional / Etiquette / Four's Company / The Wrong Man / The Kirk Syndrome / White. Silk. Underwear. / Slow Evolution / Settling In / Necking
---
Teal'c was unfamiliar with many Tau'ri customs. Some had been easy to assimilate, with the assistance of his team-mates and - as he was now coming to think of them - friends. Military custom had been the easiest, for a Jaffa who had spent longer than a Tau'ri lifetime in military service to his (false) god. Social customs were more complex. The Tau'ri society had many rules to govern their behavior that they themselves seemed aware of on a purely instinctual level. Colonel O'Neill had given him a book of etiquette, which he had read, but it seemed that whenever he followed those rules, inevitably someone would give him a look of surprise, as if he were getting it wrong.
He had discussed this apparent discrepancy with Colonel O'Neill, who explained that many of the rules of etiquette were merely guidelines, and that some of them did not apply in a modern and politically correct society. The holding open of doors for females, for instance, might be considered offensive. Or it might not. It all depended on the situation and the female - so said Colonel O'Neill. Or there was the eating of jell-o with a fork, which the book stated was the proper way to do it, but which had been remarked critically upon by both their team-mates when the Colonel did so.
It was indeed confusing.
He had also spoken to Daniel Jackson and Captain Carter about this difficult problem. Daniel Jackson had talked at length about the "evolution of social structure" and the "development of pack behavior" - from which Teal'c had inferred that Daniel Jackson did not himself fully understood the practical application of Tau'ri social skills.
Captain Carter had smiled and told him that he would "pick it up eventually", and that he just needed to spend some time observing how Tau'ri interacted amongst themselves in a social setting. Upon her advice, Teal'c had spent some time in the commissary, observing the Tau'ri at rest. However, he found that doing so appeared to make them nervous. Captain Carter had explained that reaction, too. She said that the act of observation itself changed the subject being observed. She went on to say that she thought his behavior was "just fine".
Teal'c had come to the conclusion that none of his team-mates had any helpful suggestions to give. Perhaps they were socially inept. It seemed a fair assumption to make, given the small amount of time they devoted to their lives outside Cheyenne Mountain. He had not said as much to them, however - feeling proud of the fact that he had at least learnt something.
Now, whenever an opportunity arose to observe Tau'ri in a relaxed atmosphere, he took it eagerly. This was partly to increase his understanding, but also partly because the cold grey walls of the mountain were becoming distinctly over-familiar.
This afternoon, he had received a phonecall from Colonel O'Neill, inviting him to dine at a restaurant in Colorado Springs with the team. He had accepted. At nineteen hundred hours, he met with Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter and traveled with them to the car park twenty-eight floors above the Stargate. Together they awaited Daniel Jackson. Teal'c observed the others, silently. Both his team-mates were acting strangely - as though they were completely unaware of each others' presence, and at the same time both acutely aware when the other was looking in their direction.
"So, Teal'c, how's the, uh, the kel'no'reeming going?" asked Colonel O'Neill. Teal'c slowly looked at the Colonel. He got the impression that the Colonel might be blushing, but it was hard to tell as the sun had set nearly two hours before, and the light provided by the electric lamps was unhelpful. Teal'c felt a pang of homesickness, remembering the gentle light of torches in the warm Chulakian night. He would have to speak to Daniel Jackson about acquiring some more candles.
"My kel'no'reeming is proceeding as normal, Colonel O'Neill," he replied.
The Colonel nodded. "Good," he said. He sounded distracted. This was probably because Captain Carter was looking oddly at him, and he was pretending to be unaware of it.
There was a pause. Teal'c was not uncomfortable. But it seemed the other two were. They shifted, and shuffled their feet constantly. This was unusual in Captain Carter, certainly. Less so in Colonel O'Neill, who, when not on the field of battle, was prone to constant restless movement. Teal'c began to wonder if something had occurred. "Has something occurred of which I am unaware, Colonel O'Neill?"
Both of them looked in his direction. He noticed that, when their gaze chanced to meet, they both looked away quickly. "What? No. Nothing's happened, Teal'c," said Colonel O'Neill - nervously? Yes, definitely nervously. "Why d'you ask?"
"You are both nervous," explained Teal'c.
Again, their eyes met and slid away. It seemed to be involuntary. "Nervous? Us? We're not nervous. Why would we be nervous?" said Colonel O'Neill, nervously.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Teal'c," added Captain Carter. Nervously.
"Me neither."
"I'm not nervous."
"Nor am I."
"Not at all nervous."
"No."
Teal'c had let his glance swing from one to the other as they nervously bounced the conversation between them. Feeling they had made his point for him, he clasped his hands behind his back, tipped his head back, and regarded the sky calmly. "I see," he said.
There was a nervous silence.
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late!" called Daniel Jackson, as he approached.
Teal'c distinctly heard Captain Carter mutter: "Oh, thank god."
Teal'c smiled: for once he was not puzzled by Tau'ri behavior. Some things were universal, it seemed. He was reminded of his own state of chaos when preparing to ask Drey'auc to be his sim'ka. Yes, Tau'ri behavior might be alien - but it was not entirely unfamiliar.
---
TBC