Comments | penumbra23: My Pygmalion Complex

penumbra23

My Pygmalion Complex

Jan 02, 2009 17:22

This perfectly describes why I write X-Files fanfic:

'And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones'

The Decemberists - The Engine Driver

Someday I will have rid Mulder and Scully from my bones. It will be a happy/devastating day. A blessing in disguise. Very sad ( Read more... )

Comments 38

frey_at_last January 3 2009, 03:25:41 UTC

My problem isn't living with Mulder and Scully, I think; just how intensely I live with them. I've been living with fictional people in one way or another since I could read, and I am very comfortable with that tension. Mulder and Scully are different because they never end. But I'm still at the stage/age where I think I'll grow out of those mental habits... And I hope I can find some way of growing out of those mental habits without growing out of my fictitious relationship entirely. :) If at some point in my adult life I could feel about The X-Files the way I feel about my favorite books - always there, always accessible, but not devouring - that would be about right.

penumbra23 January 3 2009, 23:04:09 UTC

Yes, the intensity, the degree to which I let them possess me is stronger than I've ever had with any fictional characters. I used to believe that immersing myself in other worlds was simply a product of youth, but now can vouch for the fact that it's not. I've begun reading biographies of writers and poets, and they all pretty much operated the same way - one of the common themes is the struggle of the writer versus family and society, something I go through on a daily basis. Time to write! Or, the unimaginable luxury, being paid to write!

The X-Files is too devouring. It's a weird thing. In a certain sense it will be a relief when it leaves me. I've grown up in tandem with Scully, and that experience has changed me forever.

leucocrystal January 3 2009, 03:44:44 UTC

I'm the exact same way about them. There have been other fictional characters that have done the same, but none that have infiltrated me so much as Mulder and Scully have. I honestly can't help but hope that day never comes. It's just something special that's both personal and shared; that can enrich things as long as it's in your mind. If it means a constant friendly layer in my life, I'll be happy to hold onto it while I build others above it.

I am not even making sense, but this post definitely speaks to me. I think it probably does for most of us.

penumbra23 January 3 2009, 23:12:14 UTC

You're making perfect sense. There's no doubt that part of the enrichment of the Mulder-Scully possession comes from our interaction as a community. It's really a beautiful experience, and it's slightly charming that it's instigated by the two biggest loners ever.

But it's like I see the world differently, because of Mulder. They've both taught me to weigh all the points, to expect magic; that there's always another side to the story.

It's nice to talk to you. I'm still sort of twitching from that David picspam!

leucocrystal January 3 2009, 23:21:38 UTC

Oh good, I'm glad! Heh, sometimes I wonder at whether I'm able to properly articulate anything that comes out of my head about these two. (This is probably why fic writing intimidates the hell out of me, and why I so rarely engage in it.) You're right though, these two loners drew us all in, and I love that so dearly!

I definitely see the world differently, because of Mulder. Sometimes I can even see a bit of himself in me, and though he might be fictional, that's somehow reassuring to me, because he's someone familiar.

It's always lovely to talk to you too! (Hee, I hope you've recovered.)

penumbra23 January 3 2009, 23:57:01 UTC

( ... )

Thread 7

marionravenwood January 3 2009, 08:41:43 UTC

I suppose it's different for me because I don't seem to be able to create anything, but I don't really think of it as something that needs to be rid from ones bones. I used to be sort of frightened by my level of obsession, but then I decided I didn't care. What does it hurt?

penumbra23 January 3 2009, 23:20:54 UTC

I'm glad to hear from you, as you've been so quiet lately.

I used to be sort of frightened by my level of obsession, but then I decided I didn't care. What does it hurt?

Mostly, it's just annoying to my family! Otherwise, I don't see that it hurts anything, although you could call it a major time-waster. The way I see it, if I wasn't wasting time on The X-Files, I'd be wasting it on something else.

memories_child January 3 2009, 11:03:35 UTC

This is how I feel about most of my writing, with the exception of Mulder and Scully. When I've got an idea for a story or a play I have to get it out. I have to write it down and see it coalescing on the page, but with Mulder and Scully the stories float around my head until they're ready to be written, and each one I write makes me want to write more.

I suppose one day it will change. One day I'll find my own characters who speak to me as much, and Mulder and Scully will cease to be the people I ring up at breakfast because I've had this incredible idea; the people I text heartbroken at midnight. They'll become the friends I think about often but visit once or twice a year. And much as I want to feel the way about my characters that I do about Mulder and Scully, I also hope that day never comes.

penumbra23 January 3 2009, 23:28:41 UTC

One day I'll find my own characters who speak to me as much

Yes, that's exactly what's at the bottom of it all, for me. Through no fault of their own, Mulder & Scully are always going to be someone else's characters. Oh, to invent people as fascinating as them!

But, like you, they float around in my head, and it will be sad day when Mulder & Scully stop floating around in my head.

memories_child January 4 2009, 10:29:31 UTC

Oh, to invent people as fascinating as them!

I think I could die a happy woman if I invented characters anything like Mulder and Scully!

That is the problem though; that they belong to someone else. It's such a shame because they live in my head like real people and I've only ever had one of my characters be like that with me (and I'm still waiting on an agent to think he's the best thing since sliced bread). Writing them is so easy because I know them so well.

And I suppose I won't know my own characters that well until I stop writing Mulder and Scully and start writing them. But there are so many stories I still have to tell with our dynamic duo in them.

amalnahurriyeh January 3 2009, 16:19:14 UTC

I asked my family for the XF DVD box set for Christmas. OK, my wife said, but get our roommate to chip in because it's expensive. So I called the roommate. OK, he said, but is it what you really want? I mean, aren't you just going to get bored with this X-Files thing pretty soon? I boggled at him ( ... )

penumbra23 January 4 2009, 00:11:20 UTC

OK, he said, but is it what you really want? I mean, aren't you just going to get bored with this X-Files thing pretty soon?

Non-Philes just seem like sad, clueless Muggles! Do you ever walk into the video store and then find yourself standing in front of the X-Files stuff, even though you have it all at home, because it's the only thing you feel like watching?

Yes, I do find myself resenting it a teeny bit, now and then, but it all seems like good practice for...something, although I'm not sure what. Maybe just understanding life. I have to work to balance it, to give my bookstore first priority, and the family, and the chores and the cats, and I need to get some exercise, and remember to eat something somewhere in there, and get books in the mail and do laundry, vacuum my 5,000 square feet, and by then the day is over, and THEN I get to write. I feel like I have to earn that time, by working hard all day. And then, yes, the pleasant brainsuck, the Mulder-Scully brainsuck, which is the best kind of all ( ... )