Aw, love you, too. <3 I wonder why things are never easy, huh? Seems like even if you're in the 'right place at the right time' things still tend to go wrong. -___-;
But at least you're in Japan bb, still living your dream, using the language, learning and working and gettin' 'er done. You haven't given up and I can't tell you how much I admire you for that. I'm really proud to be able to say that I know someone who has worked as hard for what you have as you.
Yeah, see the thing is, that I just don't really feel like I'm doing what I really want to anymore. Sure, I'm here, but I'm having such a tough time, it's really all that I can do to keep myself here. And I keep deluding myself, thinking that once school is over and that I get ~~A REAL JOB~~ that the feelings will go away and that I won't be like this anymore, when I know that's crap. ;___; So it sucks. Even though I'm here, I'm not happy like I'm supposed to be. I guess the difference is that, unlike most people here, if I fail, I have nothing to go back to, so that's what's scaring me into just going ahead. ;_; There is no turning back. And I also tend to fizzle out right at the end. I'm never able to keep the pace and keep at it until the end, so I'm worried that I'm just going to completely burn out and be unable to do what I have to do to even graduate.
Hate to break it to you, but life isn't going to suddenly get to a point where you achieve perfect happiness. It's not like that. It's unrealistic to believe that it's a possibility. All you can do is keep working at it, try to stay mindful and "in the moment" as much as you can, and in between the crap stuff, motivate yourself with the things you enjoy doing, so as to make the bad stuff easier to tolerate
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I wonder why things are never easy, huh? Seems like even if you're in the 'right place at the right time' things still tend to go wrong. -___-;
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So it sucks. Even though I'm here, I'm not happy like I'm supposed to be. I guess the difference is that, unlike most people here, if I fail, I have nothing to go back to, so that's what's scaring me into just going ahead. ;_; There is no turning back.
And I also tend to fizzle out right at the end. I'm never able to keep the pace and keep at it until the end, so I'm worried that I'm just going to completely burn out and be unable to do what I have to do to even graduate.
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