DW/BtVS: The Building Blocks of Good and Evil (12/20)
Title: The Building Blocks of Good and Evil
By: PatriciaTepes (AKA Patricia de Lioncourt @ fanfiction.net; PatriciaLouise @ TTH)
Chapter Title: Ninety-Nine Problems and a Bitch is One
Links to Other Chapters: ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN THIRTEEN FOURTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN NINETEEN TWENTY
Fandom: Darkwing Duck/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer:I do not own Darkwing Duck or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of their related characters. Darkwing Duck belongs to Disney, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon. Also, I don't own the images used in the art. All is done for fun, not profit.
Author's Note: Last chapter's title was inspired by Jessica Rabbit's famous line, "I'm not bad… I'm just drawn that way." I have always found that particular line of dialogue hilarious for some reason… and I have no idea why I thought of it when I was outlining that last chapter.
Chapter Twelve- Ninety-Nine Problems and a Bitch is One
The Ratcatcher had been abandoned several streets back. It had taken only two blocks of driving for Darkwing, Buffy, and Mindy to see that going on foot to fight the chaos developing in St. Canard was the only way.
The streets were filled with criminals… and not in the way that news reporters and politicians like to say. Literally. Every where the Mighty Mallard and the two slayers looked, there was some felon crashing into store fronts, terrorizing the populace, or setting fires. Half the city looked like it was burning, and it was the three of them against the world.
Huffing and puffing after his fifteenth or sixteenth put down of a villain, Darkwing had wiped his brow and turned to Buffy and Mindy.
"I don't usually ask for help, but… in light of the circumstances," he said.
Buffy and Mindy had already been assisting, when he would allow. The duck had a huge ego, that was for sure. But both girls only nodded when he had asked. Even Darkwing knew when to put the greater good in front of ego.
So the three had fought their way into the heart of downtown St. Canard, each one covering the other's back as they went. Darkwing, Buffy had to admit, impressed her. Without the aid of superpowers, he was still more than a match for the felons that came at him. And he was dedicated. The average citizen, playing at being the hero, might have given up several criminals ago. But not Darkwing. His bravado and witty banter was present at every take down, and except for the occasional breathers, he showed no sign of slowing.
And the same applied to Mindy. She was a well trained slayer, who knew how to quickly and efficiently dispatch her enemy. A lot of her fighting style reminded Buffy of Kendra-the first slayer, other than herself, that she had ever met-all business and no play.
"Mindy, watch out!" Darkwing shouted as a figure closed in on the girl.
Strong arms, feather white, enclosed themselves around St. Canard's resident slayer. Darkwing rushed to the girl's aid, but was stopped as a rather brutish canine, with a tattooed "Mom" on his left bicep, rushed at the Flapping Terror. Buffy ducked under her own, living attacker, kicking at the back of his knees, which sent him flailing to the ground. She was on her feet again in time to see Mindy free herself of the hold and flip her attacker over her shoulder to the ground. And Buffy stopped, eyes wide.
Fangs protruded from the duck's bill, and his eyes glowed red as he hissed up at Mindy. Mindy, however, did not look shaken in the least. Withdrawing a stake from the inside of her jacket, she came down upon the vampire duck, dusting him in one blow. Meanwhile, Darkwing put down his criminal, taking the liberty of subduing Buffy's attacker as well.
For the moment, they were felon-free as Mindy looked up at her fellow slayer.
"What's wrong? You act like you have never seen one of these before," she said, pointing to the now billowing dust.
"Ew," Darkwing said, watching the remains of the vampire swirl away.
Buffy shook her head, biting the inside of her bottom lip. "I-" she managed before bursting into laughter. Bending over, she placed her hands on her knees, shaking her head. Mindy and Darkwing looked down at her, exchanging looks of confusion.
"What?" Darkwing asked.
"I don't get it," Mindy said.
Buffy gasped, leaning back up and wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just… vampire ducks! I'm so sorry! I c-can't…"
"Is this a joke only funny to those from your dimension?" Darkwing said, a little harshly as he crossed his arms.
Buffy gasped again, smiling and nodding. Mindy rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. Can we take a break from the hilarity to discuss what the hell is going on around here?" she asked.
"Language," Darkwing said before he could stop. Then, with a shrug, he added, "Sorry. Habit."
"I'm not a kid! Just because I'm eighteen, doesn't mean that you can treat me like one!" Mindy said, crossing her own arms.
"You remind me of Gosalyn, sorry," he said, waving his hands dismissively.
Mindy dropped her arms at that, nodding only. Buffy, finally back in control of her fit of laughter, nodded.
"Mindy's right, though. Is St. Canard usually this full of criminals?" she asked.
"Nope. This is a record. In fact, a few of the ones we've taken out I know for a fact were incarcerated. It's like someone let out an entire prison's worth of criminals."
"Is that something Negaduck would do?" Mindy asked.
"Heh. Is my costume purple?" Darkwing scoffed.
"Hold that thought," Buffy said, pointing behind Mindy.
Where there had been only one attacking vampire, there were now six, coming fast and right at the three of them. Mindy and Buffy both stepped forward, with Mindy handing Buffy a stake, and tossing another one to Darkwing. But Buffy shoved Darkwing behind her.
"Let us handle these guys," she said as the Masked Mallard peeked out from behind her.
The two lost no time in engaging their enemy. Buffy and Mindy each slayed the first ones that came to them, easily, with the others being a bit more dodgy. Buffy ducked, punched, kicked, and stabbed. The two vampires-another duck and a dog-were obviously new to their powers, and were easy, in the long run, to kill. As soon as Buffy had dusted the three that had come at her, she turned to see Mindy struggling with the two-both heavy-set ducks-that were left for her. Darkwing moved to help her, but Buffy shouted a quick, "I've got it."
She pulled away the one that had latched himself onto Mindy's back, beating him to the ground and ramming the stake into his heart. Mindy was then knocked into her as the other landed a hard right hook into her beak. The vampire turned his attention away from the two slayers, his eyes falling upon Darkwing-who, despite a small gulp, readied himself for a fight. But Mindy untangled herself at the last minute, tackling the vampire and dusting him. Darkwing sighed and reached out a hand to help her to her feet, which she accepted with a smile.
"Thanks," she said, turning around to Buffy.
"Don't mention it," she said, wiping the dust from her jeans.
"You know, having two slayers around isn't so bad. I wish there were more of us," Mindy said.
Buffy frowned, saying nothing. After all, was it really her place to tell her everything that had transpired in her world? And who was to say that the decision Buffy had made would be the correct one for this dimension? She had already caused enough trouble by falling into St. Canard.
Darkwing scratched his head underneath his hat. "What the heck's going on around here? I've been the hero for this town for years now, and I've never seen anything remotely like that!"
Buffy blinked, a sinking feeling in her stomach. "Mindy… do you think that something's up with the Hellmouth?"
Mindy's eyes grew wide. "Oh, no… that's a possibility… maybe an even bigger one with Negaduck and NegaBuffy running loose."
Buffy shook her head. "All right. I'll go deal with it. I have a lot of experience with Hellmouths, trust me. I'll take Darkwing, since he knows St. Canard. Can you handle things here?"
Mindy nodded. "He's taken out the worse of the normals. I can handle the vamps, no problem."
"Now wait a minute," Darkwing said, "we're not leaving her here by herself!"
A growl in the distance drew the attention of the three of them, as another set of vampires began to walk out of the woodwork. Mindy shook her head.
"I'm equipped to deal with these things. Seriously. You go with Buffy. I'll be fine, promise."
Darkwing did not look in the least bit convinced, but sighed in defeat.
"Fine. Where's this Hellmouth at?"
"St. Canard P.S. 4," Mindy said. "Now go!"
Darkwing nodded, waving at Buffy to follow. They were several blocks away from Mindy, with Darkwing leading Buffy around corner after corner, when the Mighty Masked Mallard finally sighed in disgust.
"I can't believe it," he huffed, finally stopping as a long, linear school building came into view. "I just can't believe it."
"What is it?" Buffy asked.
"P.S. 4 is Gosalyn's school," he said, pointing to it.
Buffy laughed, shaking her head. Darkwing raised a brow, glaring up at her.
"I don't find anything funny about this," he said.
"Sorry. It really isn't. It's just… I just got hit by a nasty case of nostalgia. It's a long story. Let's go!"
The two ran directly to the front doors, finding them blasted open. Darkwing shook his head, muttering, "Negaduck," as they ran to the end of the hall and stopped.
There were three different, darkened school halls to choose from. Darkwing glanced up each locker filled corridor before finally sighing.
"How do we know where to look?" he asked.
"Library or basement. Just trust me on this one," she said.
Darkwing nodded. "Basement's this way, I think," he pointed.
The two crossed the hall, Buffy's sneakers squeaking on the polished floor, and came to a stop in front of a pine door that clearly announced itself as the entrance to the school's basement. With a deep breath, Darkwing pulled it open, and the two started down the unlit stairs.
They had neared the bottom when they stopped, Darkwing pulling Buffy off to the side behind a pair of lockers that had been ripped from the walls and discarded. They peeked out from either side as Negaduck and NegaBuffy stood with their backs to them before a large seal, located on a bit of wall that looked like it had been busted through only recently. The seal looked scarily similar to the one that Buffy knew as the entrance to the Hellmouth in her own world, a goat with its tongue out in an upside down star. She shook her head.
"Not good," she whispered to Darkwing.
"What are they doing?" he murmured back.
Buffy did not answer. Instead, she made herself focus in on the two villains. NegaBuffy was chanting a spell of some sort, holding up both of her hands, almost in praise, before the Hellmouth. Negaduck had his arms crossed and looked fairly bored.
"Oh, yeah, NegaBuff, this place is a riot," he said, rolling his eyes.
NegaBuffy's chanting stopped abruptly, and nothing happened. She tilted her head upwards, looking more than a little disappointed.
"Well, this was a giant waste of time. Why don't we just crack this puppy open?" Negaduck said, tapping the seal.
Suddenly, a little white light flashed above the two and a single sheet of well-worn parchment paper floated down before NegaBuffy, who grabbed it eagerly.
"All in due time. We have what we came for."
"How did you know that would be here?" Negaduck asked.
"The Watchers in my world, in their desperation to keep it from us, had hidden it in a similar place. Now, let's go," she said, turning.
In unison, both Darkwing and Buffy stepped out into their paths. They stopped, shaking their heads.
"Give it up, Negaduck. The game's over," Darkwing said, withdrawing his gas gun.
Negaduck pulled back his cape, his hand reaching into it, when NegaBuffy stopped him.
"Later. We have bigger fish to fry," she said.
"Oh, they don't come much bigger than us," Buffy said.
Negaduck sighed. "I hate to run, but the chick's right. Places to go, people to kill. See ya!"
From his cape, he withdrew a lit bomb. Buffy shook her head.
"This dimension is crazy!" she shouted as both she and Darkwing leapt out of the way.
Negaduck chucked the bomb in their direction as he and NegaBuffy made their escape up the stairs. Darkwing deftly caught the bomb, looking from left to right in a panic.
"What are you doing?" Buffy shouted at him.
At the last moment, he shoved the bomb inside of the lockers, slamming the door. The metal structures took all of the blast. Buffy sighed.
"I won't look a gift horse in the mouth… no matter what I think about that," she said, pointing at the lockers.
"I find that's best. Let's go!" Darkwing shouted.
The two bounded up the stairs and out of the school, only to realize that their doppelgangers were long gone. Buffy swore, kicking at the ground while Darkwing only groaned.
"What do you think that paper was?" Buffy asked.
"I don't know… but I have a bad feeling about it," Darkwing replied.
End Notes: How was that? I'm so sorry that the majority of this fic seems to be talking, but I have a lot of characters here that are all demanding a say in things. Also, the idea of the list comes to me from a Buffy novel I read once called Pretty Maids All in a Row. I think I've put my own spin on it here, but it's heavily inspired by that novel. Oh, also, can anyone guess where the title of this chapter comes from?
Fun Fact: I threw a Halloween Party two years ago, which included a costume contest. The winner of said contest was a friend of mine from Japan who had sewn her own costume… a vampire duck. So, although she may never read this fic, I thought of her as I wrote for the first appearance of a vampire duck in this chapter.