Fallout [For professor_snark]

[patchdandshabby]

Remus spent the better part of three hours walking, playing scenes over and over in his head.  What had happened.  What he did wrong.  What he could have changed.

I'm done with you.

Every god damn Remus breaks my heart.

He couldn't get Sirius' voice out of his head.  Or the look in Severus' eyes when he said he needed time alone first.  He wasn't sure

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[professor_snark]

Severus had been pacing a hole in the floor, his mind racing. Black would no doubt ask Remus to choose, and despite everything, he knew Remus would choose Sirius over him. Why wouldn't he?

So he'd spent the last three hours steeling himself for Remus' ultimate rejection.

When he heard the knock on the door, he composed himself and answered it.

"You look like hell, Remus. Come in."

[patchdandshabby]

"It's nice to know the exterior matches the interior." He walked in, and not able to stand any longer collapsed on the sofa.

"I'd be immensely grateful for a cup of tea." He could use the hydration, the sugar and the comfort. "If it's not too much trouble."

[professor_snark]

"Of course."

Severus got Remus tea, making it disgustingly sweet, then poured himself a cup before returning to the couch. "You'll rot your teeth out," he warned, giving him the cup.

For a moment, they sat in silence, sipping tea.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

[patchdandshabby]

"I'm sure if my teeth were going to rot they would have done it by now." For all his objections, Snape made the tea just the way he liked it.

"I don't know what there is to say. I suppose I should have been ready for that, but..." But he'd been happy, and for once he'd selfishly wanted to just enjoy it.

[professor_snark]

"So you don't trust my potion making skills, Remus? Or is this a Marauders only occasion?" he asked lightly, trying to mask the hurt he felt. "It's a shame I never learned how to be come a rat or dog."

Shaking his head, he untangled himself and got to his feet. "Do you want more tea?"

Severus certainly wanted another cup. With perhaps a dash of whiskey thrown in for a kick.

[patchdandshabby]

"I don't trust me. And neither should you, not when it comes to the wolf. The potion drugs the monster, it doesn't kill it. Why to you think I always made sure I was inside a room that was inside a second room, both charmed to keep me in and everyone else out?" Except for that last night. Except for when he could have killed everyone that mattered to him.

"The wolf doesn't see other animals as meals. It sees humans that way." He reached into his pocket, taking out a chocolate bar almost without thinking about it. "No. Thank you."

[professor_snark]

"You win, Remus," Severus said quietly. "I'll stay outside the door and make sure nothing goes in or out. Don't worry, you'll be alone."

He returned to the couch with fresh cups of tea, Remus' prepared just as he liked it.

"Relax, Remus," he said, handing him his cup. "I'll stay away."

[patchdandshabby]

Remus looked down at the tea. he couldn't tell, from his voice, if Snape was upset or just resigned. "If anything happened, if something went wrong and I... I wouldn't be able to live with myself, Sev. It would be over."

[professor_snark]

Thank, Merlin, Remus wasn't in a rush. As Lupin's fingers worked down his body, Severus felt all the nervous tension melting away. Remus was alternating between relaxing him, and arousing him, and Severus was slowly losing his mind.

"Merlin, Remus," he moaned, another knot relaxing under his touch. "Where did you learn to do this?"

[patchdandshabby]

"I know from first hand experience how a massage can feel, what benefits it can bestow. I'm simply using that knowledge for a slightly different use." He didn't stop at Snape's waist, but kept moving lower, massaging the round curves of the pale white arse, fingers barely brushing against the tight pucker that was his eventual destination before moving lower still, paying special attention to the insides of his thighs.

[professor_snark]

"I can't tell if you're trying to relax me, or wish me to get so hard I can't think straight. Either way, if you stop, I may hex you."

And this, was not an idle threat.

No one had ever treated his body with such tenderness before. He wasn't sure how he had ever lived without it.

[patchdandshabby]

"Maybe I'm trying to do both." And succeeding, as far as he could tell. Despite Snape's threat his voice sounded almost lethargic, and when Remus moved his hand between Snape's body he could tell just how hard he was.

"Accio lube," he muttered, catching the flying bottle a moment latter. He bent down and kissed a shoulder blade. "I promise stopping is the last thing on my mind."