for the price of a coke or a smoke

[parkergray]

If I come across one more fic featuring Hermione and her almost-hysteria over losing her virginity, I will cut someone.

Seriously.

THIRTEEN-YEAR OLDS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO WRITE ABOUT SEX.

At least have some knowledge of what you're writing about. It's helpful to have, at least, kissed someone before writing about sex. Or making out. Or

Comments

[annearchy]

You know she ran out and got every book she could get her hands on the first time she got a funny feeling down there.

So, if nothing else, she's going to be intellectually prepared for it.

Word. I just wrote her researching oral sex before doing it on Harry. The girl is nothing if not prepared...and, um, just as horny as he is ;)

[parkergray]

Exactly!

Putting all the other stuff, this is Hermione. The girl who never goes into any situation unprepared.

And even if she did, if they just looked at each other one day and realized, then fucked right then, it wouldn't matter.

So, she's either going to be totally prepared, or transported by passion (to borrow a truly horrible phrase from some romance novel, I'm sure), so the point's moot.

Plus, I really think there should be an...experience limit.

I mean, I've written about stuff I've never done (seeing as I've written slash, and last I checked, I don't have a penis *g*), but it's painfully obvious when someone has no idea what they're talking about.

*shudders*

[annearchy]

I know what you mean. I've written smut about things *I* haven't done and I'm married!! :)) Seriously, though, one of the worst fics I ever read had a big disclaimer at the top (I should have recognized this is as a red flag), "NOTE: the author is a virgin." Well, the smut was pretty much all Tab A and Slot B, and worse yet, when Harry and Hermione had just finished shagging, most of the Weasley brothers (including Ron) showed up, and Harry proceed to brag to them about how he'd just nailed Hermione *sporks self* I kid you not. The mind boggles.

[parkergray]

Oh holy heysus.

I'm so glad I missed that one.

The mind boggles.

Seriously.

And I'm not saying that you can't imagine or wonder or think you know - but you need to have at least some knowledge of desire. And mechanics.

And not just mechanics, but why you'd want to do that with someone.

I don't know.

I never wrote anything until my senior year of college, my virginity was a quite a thing of the past.

But, shit. At least try. Try and write from your character's perspective, not your own. Especially when you're twelve and your character is 25. Kthx.

[meegzi31]

Bender! Bwahahahahaaa, I love you. Btw, AMEN. ;)

[parkergray]

Hee.

Danke.

Re: icon by association

[parkergray]

I remember how just hearing Judd Nelson say it to Molly Ringwald made my cheeks flush.

Oh, holy shit, yeah.

I'm getting all flusterated just thinking about it.

And maybe, but jesus, it was terrible. And if you're writing to get over or around or whatever, your own hang-ups, don't do it with my beloved characters.

Write your own.

I mean, it's bad enough that it's tripe that wouldn't even make it as a Harlequin, they've got to drag my characters into it?

That makes it bad and OOC.

Begging the question, will the madness never end?

Re: icon by association

[anonymous]

Honey, Harry and Hermione aren't your characters. They're JKR's characters. You can criticise bad smut all you want, but as a fanfiction writer, I don't think you're any position to tell people to write their own characters.

[parkergray]

It wasn't even that, man.

It wasn't a 'I can't believe I did that, omgomg' type of thing - she was this wilting flower that was, like, terrified of Harry. Of Harry - her best friend, and, in the fic, husband. And he was all, 'I'm going to make you my wife tonight. In. Every. Way.' and she was all, 'Oh, Harry. I'm going to shy away from you and act like a wilting flower and over-all absolute moron and get away from me with that throbbing member.'

God. It was wretched.

I have no problem with morning-after panic. Especially if it's coming off a swept-of-your-feet, can't remember your own name night of passion.

Then? It's acceptable. *g*

[jonoki]

I think I know what fic you're talking about, and well, I totally agree with you.

Another thing that kinda gets me is when they are both like 27+ and only been with like 3 people their entire lives up until that point. I could see that for Hermione's character I guess, but for Harry... I mean I'm a guy and only 21, and well, not gonna venture into the TMI range here, but geez, he has to have a sex drive. Not saying he would sleep with anything that walks, but well, the way most people describe him as extremely handsome and you know he's rich, he's gotta get all kinds of action. :P

[parkergray]

Okay, I'm going to refrain from being completely snarky, but you sort-of missed part of the point.

Women have sex, too. We like it. We want it.

And Hermione wants it just as much as Harry does.

Sure, there are some girls who are more scared of it than others, but there are also guys who are scared.

It's a two-way street, dude.

And this antiquated notion that only guys have sex drives, that only guys are supposed to sleep around and sow their oats before they settle down makes me gnash my teeth.

Anyway.

Yeah, the fic out there is scary. You might know the one I specifically mentioned, but there are so many others. It's frightening.

[jonoki]

nonono, I was just saying, that I could *sort of* see that for Hermione's character. Like being more into her job/studies and being in a more committed relationship before having the sex. Therefor not having slept with as many people in a later stage of her life. Not saying shes scared of it, just saying it might not be as important to her.

[parkergray]

But I see Harry as the same way, if not more so.

This is a kid who's first kiss was with someone who was still weeping over her dead boyfriend. Someone who didn't get said kiss until she laid it on him, and only then it was after wanting her for years and not doing anything about it.

Plus, you know that he thinks anyone he's with it is going to get hurt, so.

I see Harry as being more...apprehensive than she is.

Hermione's is pragmatic, if nothing else. And I can see her being, 'Well, this is the next step. Are we ready? Do we have protection and do we know the right charms? When would you like to do it? Should we pencil it in for Wednesday or...'

While I feel like Harry's going to be a bit scared.