Wally, chapter 3
Title: Wally
Chapter 3
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Reid's uncle Angus dies and that brings him to Oakdale. The title will be explained later in the story but I guess you figure out who Wally is....
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta
I sat down in the hot water and put my music on my I-phone. What was it today that so many guys got my attention? Wally had touched me and it had felt good, the bellboy Derek made it clear that he wanted to give me a massage for free if I allowed him and Noah offered to bring me coffee with a sandwich.
It was weird and uncomforting; I didn't want anything from them, I wanted peace but that was hard to find since my muscles were restless and my mind kept so busy that I got crazy.
What was going on inside of me that I couldn't relax anymore? Maybe this was a sign that Oakdale was not the place to be for me. Maybe I needed to go back to my apartment in Dallas where my old life was with my job and my stuff.
But thinking about it I knew it wouldn't get better there, it was something inside me that had started to move and it wouldn't be stopped, I had to accept that finally after all these years my emotions couldn't be stuffed away anymore, I had to find a way to cope with all the things that I was facing now, the loss of my uncle and my man.
Thinking about Andrew I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes and I didn't try to stop them this time, I let them roll over my cheeks into the tub for a long time, remembering our good times together, the first time we kissed, the way he wanted me to court him, the first time I saw him naked.....
I cried but it was also nice to dig up the pictures of him from my memory, the great time we had when we were together and to feel the love floating in my veins again. I had loved him but I didn't realize it enough when we were together, it was normal, we were in a routine.
But I recalled the time when we were driving in my Bentley and we had the sun on our faces, the wind in our hair. I had never seen him happier. It was a normal day but it was stuck in my brain somehow, and now it popped up. He had been healthy there or at least we thought so. Maybe the fucking cancer was already worming itself in his system, fighting and eating him from within. When he finally let me order an X-ray we knew that we had to enjoy the little time we had left.
I felt the panic of the moment we saw the X-ray again but I pushed it away, I closed my eyes and listened to the music of my phone. Now was not the time to let my grief pulverize me, I had to let it get to me in eatable pieces, little splinters so I could survive it.
I had never been thinking back since now, why was that? I wanted to relive the wonderful moments we had shared, it was not all bad, we were so happy, and of course we fought and had our differences but it was minor, my love for him was so strong that I didn't want to see him sad.
I let myself glide under water and listened to the distorted music. Maybe this was what I had felt after the diagnosis, that I was there but at the same time I was not, I registered my life but it was as if I wasn't really feeling something. Life just went on without me.
People say that grieving heals but I didn't feel it that way, I felt broken and lost and if my work wasn't important to me anymore, what then? If going back to Dallas wouldn't feel good, where would I find a home? And did I need one? Was it here in this little town, in the house I had inherited?
I had told Wally that I had had friends here when I went to high school, maybe I could try and find them. Maybe if I shared a history with someone I would feel better, stable or not.
I left the tub and dried myself with the soft towel of the hotel. Maybe this was what I had been missing my whole life, softness. I had been cruel to so many people, I didn't allow myself a life of luxury although I had the money. Maybe I needed to do what all these talk-shows I had been watching here said; you have to take good care of yourself, no one else is going to.
Wally did though, he was taking care of so many people. Why does he do that? He seemed young. He and Noah shared a history together from what I understood, was he into men? Would there be a gay person in this white bread community?
Maybe I could go to Wally’s tomorrow and learn from the owner how to take care of others, it was a skill I missed. Andrew had said it many times, that he loved me but that I had to think of his feelings too. I had never been able to crawl into other people's heads, my lack of social skills was already obvious in Kindergarten.
Andrew told me now and then what he expected of me, like buying a present for his birthday, even remembering the day was an issue. He asked me to buy him something on the date we had met. It was always a disaster for me when he demanded something because I had no idea what he wanted. I asked him to give me a list so I could buy an item off it but he refused that, laughing hard when I suggested that.
"If you listen to what I say on a day-to-day basis you will figure out what I like Reid", he said. He claimed my attention in a very lightly way. He had changed me because at some point I started to buy him books he would like even before it was Christmas. Yeah, we were a great match.
But with losing him I also lost my sparring partner. The last few years I had become moody again and everyone accepted that of me because I had LOST my partner, I wasn't to blame; they understood that I was sad and not listening. But it wasn't because I was grieving it was because the old me, had returned.
And I didn't want to be around that person anymore, I wanted to learn how to be nice and patient. I wanted to learn how to flirt back when guys winked at me. Maybe I needed to invite Derek into my room and let him give me the promised massage with the so called happy end I suppose, Derek's eyebrow curled up when he made the suggestion. I didn't think much of it when he said it but thinking back I think he flirted with me.
It would be weird to let another man touch me, I think I would compare every move with Andrew's and that was not a good idea, Andrew had been good to me, he knew exactly what I needed. What if a guy wanted things I was not into? I growled and shook my head, I had to stop this overthinking or I would never have sex again.
I didn't miss it, the years after his death, he took the physical element with him in his grave. I never looked at guys to see if I could do them and looking back that was weird because we had sex every day, at least once a day and we did it everywhere, even in filthy toilets at the hospital when we were horny.
But when he was diagnosed we became careful, afraid to worn out his fragile body, to break a bone. And after he had gone I had never thought about it again.
But here in this dump it came back, the need to be held, to let go, to stop thinking for a minute. Here the fresh air opened my heart and my eyes and made me aware of my body again, the neglected form in which I lived.
How would Andrew have done it if I’d been the one who passed away? Would he be as devastated as I was, would he be alone for three years or would he have a boyfriend sooner? I noticed that the idea of him with someone else didn't scare me anymore, like it had done when he was alive.
I was a jealous partner, I have to admit that, whenever a nice guy looked too long at him I felt my insides shrink and I would warp an arm around Andrew's shoulder to define our relationship. It always made him laugh when I was like that; he once said that it was special that I was so into him that I wanted him exclusively. I never needed anything else than him.
But now I had to shape my new life in a form that was mine and I had to figure out from scratch what that meant. I would start thinking tomorrow, after a good night's sleep.
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When I parked my car on the driveway of my new house I saw the garage, the territory I wasn't allowed when I was young because I was clumsy. Angus did own a lot of expensive tools and after the day I almost amputated my leg with a chainsaw he forbid me to even open the door. I was furious back then but now I could see that he wanted to protect me from myself.
I walked to the door and opened it with one of the keys from the keyring. The smell of oil came my way when I entered the neath space. On the walls were well-organized little boxes with nails and rings and on the shelves he kept his machines.
Suddenly a flashback made that I had to sit down: my dad did have the exact same garage, with the same collection of screws in chocolate boxes and wood in all kind of sizes. I grabbed a hammer and held it in my hand; with this piece of equipment he had made so many things. I saw his initials on the bottom of the orange painted handle: AO. My dad had done the same, with different initials of course but he also painted the handles orange.
What was I to do with all this? I couldn't keep it but I wondered if Wally would come and get it. Maybe I could bring it to him and ask if he could use it.
I Googled his organization for the address, cursing because the service here was so bad, but finally I knew where I had to go. I put as many machines in my car as possible and drove in the direction my navigation system lead me.
I looked around when I was driving and saw a rather nice village with a lot of farms and large woods. I grew up here for years but I never saw it, the landscape in all its glory, I only sat inside reading but man, what a waste. The snow made everything softer and the sun reflected on the frozen pond where people were ice-skating. I had never done that.
It could have made me sad but it didn't, I enjoyed it now while I drove to Wally’s. When I arrived there I saw a little community with houses and a shop. It was all very modern and clean, not something you expect from a thrift shop.
When I opened the shop-door a little bell tinkled to announce my presence. A young man came my way and greeted me. For a minute I didn't know what to say.
"Is Wally here?", I asked, "I have a lot of tools in my car and I wanted to ask him if he can use them.
The guy smiled; ¨ oh yes we can always use them in our workplace, I'll look for Wally and he can decide what he wants with it".
He walked into the back of the shop and I walked around to see what they were selling. It was weird to see the old couch of Angus standing there and my teenage bed. It was unbelievable what a huge variety of stuff they had displayed. Suddenly I saw some ice hockey skates and I looked if they were my size. They were. Maybe this was a sign, that I should buy them and try the nice pond I had seen.
"Hey", I heard behind me and recognized the deep voice of the owner.
"Hi", I said, "how much for the skates?".
"You have to ask Ethan, he is the one who decides what things cost", Wally smiled.
The young boy behind him beamed with pride. "Ten bucks", he said.
That seemed a reasonable price so I grabbed my wallet out of the pocket of my jeans but Wally stopped me. \
"You have to haggle", he whispered. I saw the twinkle in his eyes, green sparkles in nice brown.
"I'll give you 8", I said with a heavy heart, I wanted to somehow spoil the kid.
"9", the boy said resolute.
"Sold", I said and gave him a hand.
While he put the skates in a bag Wally patted my arm. "That's nice of you Reid", he said softly. "Ethan has to learn how to manage the store and everyone here haggles so he has to learn that, to be in control and show people that they can't play with him. Did you see how proud he was when you sealed the deal?".
I nodded. "I have never done this before, it felt so weird to pinch money from him but I understand that this is a learning environment for the kids, I wasn't prepared for that.
I was cleaning up the garage and found all these tools so I wanted to ask if you can use them, otherwise I'll throw them away. Can you look at it for a minute, it's in my car".
He followed me and I opened the back door to show him what I got. He whistled between his teeth and looked at me if I was serious. "That's a lot Reid, and it's expensive stuff, how much do you want for it?".
I smiled at him. "I don't want any money for it, I am glad when you can use it. It was weird to sit in the garage today and touch the machines; I wasn't allowed to do that when I lived here. And that was for the better. Have you ever been in the garage when Angus was alive?".
Wally nodded. "Yes, I have repaired his chair a few times, it was so old that it was falling apart but he didn't want to spend money on himself anymore, he knew that he was dying so it wasn't worth it he said. I offered to bring him a chair from our shop but he didn't want that, so every time the nasty thing broke down again he asked to hammer a few extra nails in it".
"So you brought him food and helped him with his household", I said.
"Yeah as much as we could, he paid us well Reid so he wasn't a charity case. And he was always interested in the volunteer who helped him, he knew their names even though he was blind at the end, he recognized them because of their scent or voice. No that we talk about him I remember that he has talked about a nephew a few times, that must have been you".
"Yes I was the only family member he had", I said softly. "Do you remember what he said about me?".
Wally tried to relive the conversation. "He was positive about you; I know that he was so proud of you because you had finished Harvard. I have read him a few articles you had written but we both didn't have a clue what the subject was, let alone what the conclusion meant. But he didn't care".
I didn't know what to say, I just wished I had come here when Angus was alive and I could have rewritten my past. I felt a hand on my arm and bit my lip to prevent the tears from falling.
"Hey Reid, it's okay to be sad, about what you have lost, it's natural to be a little confused when someone dies especially when your memory about the person is not good. Angus has doubted his whole life why he was so strict with you; he regretted it more than anything. He wanted to raise you in the spirit of your parents but he knew he had failed. He often warned me to love my kids to death if I ever came that far".
"Do you have kids?", I asked.
Wally laughed. "Yes I have a lot of kids", he said smiling. "I consider all the members of Wally’s as my kids, the runaways at least. I feel responsible for them and they know they can depend on me; I will never disappoint them deliberately. Do you want a tour on the property; we can get a cup of coffee in the kitchen if you want".
His hand burned a hole in my shirt. "Do you have a beer, I asked?
Wally shook his head. "No we don't, it's a drug-free environment, no weed or alcohol is accepted. Most kids have used themselves or have parents who are abusers so we have to set a zero-tolerance rule".
"You have a lot of rules", I said as I walked with the guy with the cap to the main building.
Wally smiled again and I saw it again, the green sparkles in his eyes, highlighted by the winter sun. He was so special, this humble guy, although he tried very hard to look shabby.
"Well, we try to explain to our guests that the rules we have are not really rules but normal ways to interact, that they need to adjust to some social standards if they want to make it in life. Most of our kids don't have a very high EQ but they learn fast".
We walked into a nice warm house and Wally showed me the kitchen where he introduced me to the pupils who were present. He grabbed us a cup of coffee and sat down on an empty chair, after he had offered me one.
"So guys, this is Doctor Oliver, he is living here for a few weeks and maybe he is going to move here. He is a brain surgeon".
Most of the kids nodded to me.
"I want to be a doctor too", a blond girl said.
Why, Reid asked?
"I want to help people getting better, why did you want to become one?".
That was a hard question. I couldn't answer her that I wanted to leave the house fast enough and do the most difficult study that Harvard had to offer to challenge myself, to use my brain to the fullest and become the best in something. Looking back it was very selfish, I had never thought about healing people.
"No idea", I said softly. "But it's a nice job if you hate people, you make such long hours that you don't have a life and the patients never get better, they all die eventually".
"So Ethel, what doctor Oliver is saying that it's the best job you can get but that you may have to sacrifice a little", Wally said to the girl. "I know you can do it and we are going to work hard to get you into a scholarship somewhere, maybe even in Oakdale if you want to".
The green sparkles send daggers at me. Then his eyes lit up. "Maybe if Doctor Oliver stays in Oakdale he can help you with your math; that would be great. We are going to grab every straw honey, well figure something out".
"Maybe the doctor can help me as well with my math", a very tall guy said.
My first reflex was to stand up, walk away and never come back. I didn't like people depending on me because I could never live up to their expectations, I always screwed up and I didn't want these kids to be more disappointed in life than they already were.
But I stayed and enjoyed my coffee. "I haven't decided where I am going to live guys, so don't get your hopes up, besides I am a lousy teacher, I don't have patience. But I hope you all succeed in life, Wally is supporting you as good as he can so ....".
So, what? I was a coward, I didn't want to promise anyone anything, I wanted to plan my life as I saw fit. No one’s happiness was going to lie on my shoulders, I couldn't do it.
"Come on Reid, let's go to your car and we'll bring the equipment to the shop. And you guys, go and make your homework, Maddie is coming soon so she'll check how hard you have worked. Don't disappoint her because you know how she is".
I emptied my mug and walked with Wally to my car; I assume you don't have kids", he smirked.
"Was it that obvious?", I asked, "I always feel so awkward around them but they seemed nice. I just don't want to give them hope when I don't know what I am going to do, that's all".
"That's all?", he asked and smiled at me. God I liked his eyes.
"No, of course not, I am a loner Wally; I can't have people depending on me because it makes me restless. I don't know how you do it; run an institution like this with people counting on you. Doesn't it keep you awake at night? What's in it for you?".
"Maybe we should have dinner, are you free tonight? I always leave at 8 pm so I have a sort of a life for myself. Maybe I can explain a bit of my life and why I made the choices I made. And I am curious to your choices".
"I am on an absence leave so I have all the time in the world", I said. "Maybe we can get a table at the Lakeview where I have a room".
Wally smirked. "The bridal suite", he said teasingly. "And what do we call this, a date?
"Absolutely not", I said and looked at him if he was serious. "Or do you consider it as such?
"I just wanted to be sure", he said, "because maybe my ex is going to be there and I don't want to throw salt in the wound. If you wanted to be with me romantically I would suggest another diner".
"We can go anywhere Wally so tell me what you want; I don't want it to be awkward between you and him".
Wally shook his head and looked a bit confused. "Nah, we are grown-ups and he is my ex, we have to learn to be around each other in our new setting. He already has a new boyfriend so I shouldn't make a fuss about it.
It's just weird sometimes; you know when you see the person you’ve lain in bed with in bed with someone else. He came out of the closet for me so I kinda owe him something".
That was a lot of information I couldn't digest right away.
"Tell me all about it tonight, say around half past 8?".
"Deal", he said.
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Reid's uncle Angus dies and that brings him to Oakdale. The title will be explained later in the story but I guess you figure out who Wally is....
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta
I sat down in the hot water and put my music on my I-phone. What was it today that so many guys got my attention? Wally had touched me and it had felt good, the bellboy Derek made it clear that he wanted to give me a massage for free if I allowed him and Noah offered to bring me coffee with a sandwich.
It was weird and uncomforting; I didn't want anything from them, I wanted peace but that was hard to find since my muscles were restless and my mind kept so busy that I got crazy.
What was going on inside of me that I couldn't relax anymore? Maybe this was a sign that Oakdale was not the place to be for me. Maybe I needed to go back to my apartment in Dallas where my old life was with my job and my stuff.
But thinking about it I knew it wouldn't get better there, it was something inside me that had started to move and it wouldn't be stopped, I had to accept that finally after all these years my emotions couldn't be stuffed away anymore, I had to find a way to cope with all the things that I was facing now, the loss of my uncle and my man.
Thinking about Andrew I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes and I didn't try to stop them this time, I let them roll over my cheeks into the tub for a long time, remembering our good times together, the first time we kissed, the way he wanted me to court him, the first time I saw him naked.....
I cried but it was also nice to dig up the pictures of him from my memory, the great time we had when we were together and to feel the love floating in my veins again. I had loved him but I didn't realize it enough when we were together, it was normal, we were in a routine.
But I recalled the time when we were driving in my Bentley and we had the sun on our faces, the wind in our hair. I had never seen him happier. It was a normal day but it was stuck in my brain somehow, and now it popped up. He had been healthy there or at least we thought so. Maybe the fucking cancer was already worming itself in his system, fighting and eating him from within. When he finally let me order an X-ray we knew that we had to enjoy the little time we had left.
I felt the panic of the moment we saw the X-ray again but I pushed it away, I closed my eyes and listened to the music of my phone. Now was not the time to let my grief pulverize me, I had to let it get to me in eatable pieces, little splinters so I could survive it.
I had never been thinking back since now, why was that? I wanted to relive the wonderful moments we had shared, it was not all bad, we were so happy, and of course we fought and had our differences but it was minor, my love for him was so strong that I didn't want to see him sad.
I let myself glide under water and listened to the distorted music. Maybe this was what I had felt after the diagnosis, that I was there but at the same time I was not, I registered my life but it was as if I wasn't really feeling something. Life just went on without me.
People say that grieving heals but I didn't feel it that way, I felt broken and lost and if my work wasn't important to me anymore, what then? If going back to Dallas wouldn't feel good, where would I find a home? And did I need one? Was it here in this little town, in the house I had inherited?
I had told Wally that I had had friends here when I went to high school, maybe I could try and find them. Maybe if I shared a history with someone I would feel better, stable or not.
I left the tub and dried myself with the soft towel of the hotel. Maybe this was what I had been missing my whole life, softness. I had been cruel to so many people, I didn't allow myself a life of luxury although I had the money. Maybe I needed to do what all these talk-shows I had been watching here said; you have to take good care of yourself, no one else is going to.
Wally did though, he was taking care of so many people. Why does he do that? He seemed young. He and Noah shared a history together from what I understood, was he into men? Would there be a gay person in this white bread community?
Maybe I could go to Wally’s tomorrow and learn from the owner how to take care of others, it was a skill I missed. Andrew had said it many times, that he loved me but that I had to think of his feelings too. I had never been able to crawl into other people's heads, my lack of social skills was already obvious in Kindergarten.
Andrew told me now and then what he expected of me, like buying a present for his birthday, even remembering the day was an issue. He asked me to buy him something on the date we had met. It was always a disaster for me when he demanded something because I had no idea what he wanted. I asked him to give me a list so I could buy an item off it but he refused that, laughing hard when I suggested that.
"If you listen to what I say on a day-to-day basis you will figure out what I like Reid", he said. He claimed my attention in a very lightly way. He had changed me because at some point I started to buy him books he would like even before it was Christmas. Yeah, we were a great match.
But with losing him I also lost my sparring partner. The last few years I had become moody again and everyone accepted that of me because I had LOST my partner, I wasn't to blame; they understood that I was sad and not listening. But it wasn't because I was grieving it was because the old me, had returned.
And I didn't want to be around that person anymore, I wanted to learn how to be nice and patient. I wanted to learn how to flirt back when guys winked at me. Maybe I needed to invite Derek into my room and let him give me the promised massage with the so called happy end I suppose, Derek's eyebrow curled up when he made the suggestion. I didn't think much of it when he said it but thinking back I think he flirted with me.
It would be weird to let another man touch me, I think I would compare every move with Andrew's and that was not a good idea, Andrew had been good to me, he knew exactly what I needed. What if a guy wanted things I was not into? I growled and shook my head, I had to stop this overthinking or I would never have sex again.
I didn't miss it, the years after his death, he took the physical element with him in his grave. I never looked at guys to see if I could do them and looking back that was weird because we had sex every day, at least once a day and we did it everywhere, even in filthy toilets at the hospital when we were horny.
But when he was diagnosed we became careful, afraid to worn out his fragile body, to break a bone. And after he had gone I had never thought about it again.
But here in this dump it came back, the need to be held, to let go, to stop thinking for a minute. Here the fresh air opened my heart and my eyes and made me aware of my body again, the neglected form in which I lived.
How would Andrew have done it if I’d been the one who passed away? Would he be as devastated as I was, would he be alone for three years or would he have a boyfriend sooner? I noticed that the idea of him with someone else didn't scare me anymore, like it had done when he was alive.
I was a jealous partner, I have to admit that, whenever a nice guy looked too long at him I felt my insides shrink and I would warp an arm around Andrew's shoulder to define our relationship. It always made him laugh when I was like that; he once said that it was special that I was so into him that I wanted him exclusively. I never needed anything else than him.
But now I had to shape my new life in a form that was mine and I had to figure out from scratch what that meant. I would start thinking tomorrow, after a good night's sleep.
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When I parked my car on the driveway of my new house I saw the garage, the territory I wasn't allowed when I was young because I was clumsy. Angus did own a lot of expensive tools and after the day I almost amputated my leg with a chainsaw he forbid me to even open the door. I was furious back then but now I could see that he wanted to protect me from myself.
I walked to the door and opened it with one of the keys from the keyring. The smell of oil came my way when I entered the neath space. On the walls were well-organized little boxes with nails and rings and on the shelves he kept his machines.
Suddenly a flashback made that I had to sit down: my dad did have the exact same garage, with the same collection of screws in chocolate boxes and wood in all kind of sizes. I grabbed a hammer and held it in my hand; with this piece of equipment he had made so many things. I saw his initials on the bottom of the orange painted handle: AO. My dad had done the same, with different initials of course but he also painted the handles orange.
What was I to do with all this? I couldn't keep it but I wondered if Wally would come and get it. Maybe I could bring it to him and ask if he could use it.
I Googled his organization for the address, cursing because the service here was so bad, but finally I knew where I had to go. I put as many machines in my car as possible and drove in the direction my navigation system lead me.
I looked around when I was driving and saw a rather nice village with a lot of farms and large woods. I grew up here for years but I never saw it, the landscape in all its glory, I only sat inside reading but man, what a waste. The snow made everything softer and the sun reflected on the frozen pond where people were ice-skating. I had never done that.
It could have made me sad but it didn't, I enjoyed it now while I drove to Wally’s. When I arrived there I saw a little community with houses and a shop. It was all very modern and clean, not something you expect from a thrift shop.
When I opened the shop-door a little bell tinkled to announce my presence. A young man came my way and greeted me. For a minute I didn't know what to say.
"Is Wally here?", I asked, "I have a lot of tools in my car and I wanted to ask him if he can use them.
The guy smiled; ¨ oh yes we can always use them in our workplace, I'll look for Wally and he can decide what he wants with it".
He walked into the back of the shop and I walked around to see what they were selling. It was weird to see the old couch of Angus standing there and my teenage bed. It was unbelievable what a huge variety of stuff they had displayed. Suddenly I saw some ice hockey skates and I looked if they were my size. They were. Maybe this was a sign, that I should buy them and try the nice pond I had seen.
"Hey", I heard behind me and recognized the deep voice of the owner.
"Hi", I said, "how much for the skates?".
"You have to ask Ethan, he is the one who decides what things cost", Wally smiled.
The young boy behind him beamed with pride. "Ten bucks", he said.
That seemed a reasonable price so I grabbed my wallet out of the pocket of my jeans but Wally stopped me. \
"You have to haggle", he whispered. I saw the twinkle in his eyes, green sparkles in nice brown.
"I'll give you 8", I said with a heavy heart, I wanted to somehow spoil the kid.
"9", the boy said resolute.
"Sold", I said and gave him a hand.
While he put the skates in a bag Wally patted my arm. "That's nice of you Reid", he said softly. "Ethan has to learn how to manage the store and everyone here haggles so he has to learn that, to be in control and show people that they can't play with him. Did you see how proud he was when you sealed the deal?".
I nodded. "I have never done this before, it felt so weird to pinch money from him but I understand that this is a learning environment for the kids, I wasn't prepared for that.
I was cleaning up the garage and found all these tools so I wanted to ask if you can use them, otherwise I'll throw them away. Can you look at it for a minute, it's in my car".
He followed me and I opened the back door to show him what I got. He whistled between his teeth and looked at me if I was serious. "That's a lot Reid, and it's expensive stuff, how much do you want for it?".
I smiled at him. "I don't want any money for it, I am glad when you can use it. It was weird to sit in the garage today and touch the machines; I wasn't allowed to do that when I lived here. And that was for the better. Have you ever been in the garage when Angus was alive?".
Wally nodded. "Yes, I have repaired his chair a few times, it was so old that it was falling apart but he didn't want to spend money on himself anymore, he knew that he was dying so it wasn't worth it he said. I offered to bring him a chair from our shop but he didn't want that, so every time the nasty thing broke down again he asked to hammer a few extra nails in it".
"So you brought him food and helped him with his household", I said.
"Yeah as much as we could, he paid us well Reid so he wasn't a charity case. And he was always interested in the volunteer who helped him, he knew their names even though he was blind at the end, he recognized them because of their scent or voice. No that we talk about him I remember that he has talked about a nephew a few times, that must have been you".
"Yes I was the only family member he had", I said softly. "Do you remember what he said about me?".
Wally tried to relive the conversation. "He was positive about you; I know that he was so proud of you because you had finished Harvard. I have read him a few articles you had written but we both didn't have a clue what the subject was, let alone what the conclusion meant. But he didn't care".
I didn't know what to say, I just wished I had come here when Angus was alive and I could have rewritten my past. I felt a hand on my arm and bit my lip to prevent the tears from falling.
"Hey Reid, it's okay to be sad, about what you have lost, it's natural to be a little confused when someone dies especially when your memory about the person is not good. Angus has doubted his whole life why he was so strict with you; he regretted it more than anything. He wanted to raise you in the spirit of your parents but he knew he had failed. He often warned me to love my kids to death if I ever came that far".
"Do you have kids?", I asked.
Wally laughed. "Yes I have a lot of kids", he said smiling. "I consider all the members of Wally’s as my kids, the runaways at least. I feel responsible for them and they know they can depend on me; I will never disappoint them deliberately. Do you want a tour on the property; we can get a cup of coffee in the kitchen if you want".
His hand burned a hole in my shirt. "Do you have a beer, I asked?
Wally shook his head. "No we don't, it's a drug-free environment, no weed or alcohol is accepted. Most kids have used themselves or have parents who are abusers so we have to set a zero-tolerance rule".
"You have a lot of rules", I said as I walked with the guy with the cap to the main building.
Wally smiled again and I saw it again, the green sparkles in his eyes, highlighted by the winter sun. He was so special, this humble guy, although he tried very hard to look shabby.
"Well, we try to explain to our guests that the rules we have are not really rules but normal ways to interact, that they need to adjust to some social standards if they want to make it in life. Most of our kids don't have a very high EQ but they learn fast".
We walked into a nice warm house and Wally showed me the kitchen where he introduced me to the pupils who were present. He grabbed us a cup of coffee and sat down on an empty chair, after he had offered me one.
"So guys, this is Doctor Oliver, he is living here for a few weeks and maybe he is going to move here. He is a brain surgeon".
Most of the kids nodded to me.
"I want to be a doctor too", a blond girl said.
Why, Reid asked?
"I want to help people getting better, why did you want to become one?".
That was a hard question. I couldn't answer her that I wanted to leave the house fast enough and do the most difficult study that Harvard had to offer to challenge myself, to use my brain to the fullest and become the best in something. Looking back it was very selfish, I had never thought about healing people.
"No idea", I said softly. "But it's a nice job if you hate people, you make such long hours that you don't have a life and the patients never get better, they all die eventually".
"So Ethel, what doctor Oliver is saying that it's the best job you can get but that you may have to sacrifice a little", Wally said to the girl. "I know you can do it and we are going to work hard to get you into a scholarship somewhere, maybe even in Oakdale if you want to".
The green sparkles send daggers at me. Then his eyes lit up. "Maybe if Doctor Oliver stays in Oakdale he can help you with your math; that would be great. We are going to grab every straw honey, well figure something out".
"Maybe the doctor can help me as well with my math", a very tall guy said.
My first reflex was to stand up, walk away and never come back. I didn't like people depending on me because I could never live up to their expectations, I always screwed up and I didn't want these kids to be more disappointed in life than they already were.
But I stayed and enjoyed my coffee. "I haven't decided where I am going to live guys, so don't get your hopes up, besides I am a lousy teacher, I don't have patience. But I hope you all succeed in life, Wally is supporting you as good as he can so ....".
So, what? I was a coward, I didn't want to promise anyone anything, I wanted to plan my life as I saw fit. No one’s happiness was going to lie on my shoulders, I couldn't do it.
"Come on Reid, let's go to your car and we'll bring the equipment to the shop. And you guys, go and make your homework, Maddie is coming soon so she'll check how hard you have worked. Don't disappoint her because you know how she is".
I emptied my mug and walked with Wally to my car; I assume you don't have kids", he smirked.
"Was it that obvious?", I asked, "I always feel so awkward around them but they seemed nice. I just don't want to give them hope when I don't know what I am going to do, that's all".
"That's all?", he asked and smiled at me. God I liked his eyes.
"No, of course not, I am a loner Wally; I can't have people depending on me because it makes me restless. I don't know how you do it; run an institution like this with people counting on you. Doesn't it keep you awake at night? What's in it for you?".
"Maybe we should have dinner, are you free tonight? I always leave at 8 pm so I have a sort of a life for myself. Maybe I can explain a bit of my life and why I made the choices I made. And I am curious to your choices".
"I am on an absence leave so I have all the time in the world", I said. "Maybe we can get a table at the Lakeview where I have a room".
Wally smirked. "The bridal suite", he said teasingly. "And what do we call this, a date?
"Absolutely not", I said and looked at him if he was serious. "Or do you consider it as such?
"I just wanted to be sure", he said, "because maybe my ex is going to be there and I don't want to throw salt in the wound. If you wanted to be with me romantically I would suggest another diner".
"We can go anywhere Wally so tell me what you want; I don't want it to be awkward between you and him".
Wally shook his head and looked a bit confused. "Nah, we are grown-ups and he is my ex, we have to learn to be around each other in our new setting. He already has a new boyfriend so I shouldn't make a fuss about it.
It's just weird sometimes; you know when you see the person you’ve lain in bed with in bed with someone else. He came out of the closet for me so I kinda owe him something".
That was a lot of information I couldn't digest right away.
"Tell me all about it tonight, say around half past 8?".
"Deal", he said.
Chapter 4