Still not enough, chapter 3
Series: Still not enough
Chapter: 3
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Luke had a nice New Years night with a client he can't get out of his head (Luke's POV).
Sequel of the Yule challenge 2015 entry: Not enough
Following slightly the FFF prompt of this week: Enchilada
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta and encouragement!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
"Darling, I’m so grateful that you don't forget your old grandmother", Lucinda exaggerated. She was still sharp as a knife and worked 12 hours a day. She knew me inside and out.
I hugged her and got my laptop out of my bag. Since a few weeks we worked together on Saturday mornings and I loved it, to sit across from her on her immense desk and brainstorm about the shipping business. She had so many wonderful ideas about management and sales and an out-of-the-box mind that Grimaldi shipping grew larger and larger. She also gave me tips and recommendations about hiring the best people so I didn't have to work so hard.
It's weird to say but I fell into a kind of black hole when I stopped working for my other job. I was used to work 24/7 and when I finally had my so-needed free weekends I kinda freaked. I was not used to sit on my couch and watch TV. I didn't have a hobby.
I noticed that I also didn't have friends and that was a weird thing. I was always surrounded by people I knew from school or just from the neighborhood I was raised, but I didn't stay in contact with them and I had no idea where they went.
I didn't visit Old Town much, afraid that a guy would recognize me from my gigolo-time. I didn't do it on purpose but I realized that I had separated my two worlds, Grimaldi shipping and Pretty ass they come (PATC) and there were no cross-overs. No one at PATC knew my real name and we never had contact but over the phone. A guy I had hired did the recruitment and things like that so I never knew the faces of the guys who were working for me.
And the work....it had been so long that I went out myself, to accommodate a client. I had lost my touch and my appetite when I had to listen to the needs of so many freaks. There were nice guys of course who had the decency to shower before I came but more and more guys saw me as a product they had paid for and could do with what they wanted.
At first it was flattering that I could earn so much money with my body but in fact I didn't need it, my dad and grandmother had given me so much money that I didn't need to work at all. I could have laid on a beach chair in the Caribbean all my life with a cocktail in my hand if I had wanted.
But I needed to prove that I could earn my own bread so I worked. And I loved it. But after New Year’s, when I definitely had stopped at PATC I felt useless. And my sensitive grandmother knew it, she called me my first free afternoon and asked me how I was holding up. I admitted that she had been right all along, that I wasn't made for free time, so she asked if I wanted to drink tea with her.
I laughed so hard my stomach hurt; tea, why did she ask me that, I hated tea. But it was just an invitation to come and visit her. And after that we always met in the weekends, and we talked about personal stuff and business things. I cherished these days with her because she saw right through me and didn't judge a thing I had done in my life.
Drinking her famous coffee I sat down in her comfortable leather chair and opened my laptop. We didn't have an agenda when we met; it was just a matter of getting inspired by each other. And she did, she gave her opinion on a vision I had written for the Maltese section of the shipping company and I looked at her as if she let water burn.
"Why didn't I think of that myself grandma?", I asked. "It's brilliant".
She nodded. "When you are in business as long as I am its easy", she said smiling. "And about your other project, I have been talking to a few doctors in New York about the foundation of your friend and they all loved the goal, can't you talk to Reid and ask him if he is willing to consider spreading his wings? It could go national Luke, international; the ground idea is so lovely. I want to talk to this guy, can't you arrange a meeting with him?".
I closed my eyes and sighed. "We have been over this grandma", I said. "He doesn't want to meet me so stop pushing the subject. But you are right; the basic philosophy behind the fund is brilliant. Steven says that Reid refuses to give the foundation his name; Reid doesn't want to get famous. Steven said that Reid thinks he is a little autistic and he wants to stay out of the headlights, he gets enough attention for his work as a neuro surgeon".
"But you don't agree?".
I sighed again. "Well, it's refreshing that Reid is so humble, we live in a world in which people can't wait to get their name and picture in flashing lights so him not wanting to be a figurehead is nice. He says that it's the work that counts, and I don't want to do anything he is not ready for, it's his business. Of course he understands it that if we get more money we can help more people but he is not willing to invest more time than he does now".
"Maybe we can make a new foundation based on his idea but increase the amount of hospitals. If we take the lead in this it can help so many people. And I get it that you are a bit hesitant to see him again Luke", she said while looking at me.
I felt my face reddening. "You get what?", I asked.
"I understand that you separate work and pleasure. Reid was work and you are afraid that he will become more".
I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. For my grandma life was always so simple, it was black and white but for me ...the older I got the more grey nuances I saw.
And Reid was every shade of grey. I wanted to help him and I wanted to speak to him but I understood his point of view, and I got it that he asked more of me than I could give. And he got it that I couldn't answer to that.
"You know our impasse grandmother", I said with my eyes still closed. I couldn't look at her because she saw what I didn't want to know.
"It's not wrong to spend time with friends Luke", she said softly.
"I know", I answered. "But he is not a friend and he doesn't want to be one either. He thinks he knows me and he likes me too much".
"But what is there not to like honey?", she asked. "You are smart and funny and I certainly understand that he thinks you are sexy. Maybe you got off on the wrong foot but why are you so stubborn? He knows that you were a rent boy and he doesn't mind, he wants more and I can't see what the problem is here. Maybe it's time for you to start thinking about a relationship".
"I am not ready for that, you know me, I can't do it anymore".
"But you don't have to lose yourself when you are starting something with him", she said and looked intently at me. "Why is it so hard for you to admit that you need someone? You are talking about him every week but you still think that he was just a client".
I nodded. "Yes he was my last one, but I can't give him what he needs and I don't want to get his hopes up by seeing him. This is his call and I respect that".
She didn't let go. "But you liked being with him, right?".
"Yes I did, and that's frightening. Maybe this is not a normal topic to discuss with your grandmother but I don't want to be forced into sex again, ever, and Reid can't live without it so it will always be a thing that stands between us. If I start seeing him I can read in his eyes what he needs. I can't disappoint him grandma".
She nodded. "I love you Luke and I am not going to push the subject again, promise".
NEXT CHAPTER
Chapter: 3
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Luke had a nice New Years night with a client he can't get out of his head (Luke's POV).
Sequel of the Yule challenge 2015 entry: Not enough
Following slightly the FFF prompt of this week: Enchilada
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta and encouragement!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
"Darling, I’m so grateful that you don't forget your old grandmother", Lucinda exaggerated. She was still sharp as a knife and worked 12 hours a day. She knew me inside and out.
I hugged her and got my laptop out of my bag. Since a few weeks we worked together on Saturday mornings and I loved it, to sit across from her on her immense desk and brainstorm about the shipping business. She had so many wonderful ideas about management and sales and an out-of-the-box mind that Grimaldi shipping grew larger and larger. She also gave me tips and recommendations about hiring the best people so I didn't have to work so hard.
It's weird to say but I fell into a kind of black hole when I stopped working for my other job. I was used to work 24/7 and when I finally had my so-needed free weekends I kinda freaked. I was not used to sit on my couch and watch TV. I didn't have a hobby.
I noticed that I also didn't have friends and that was a weird thing. I was always surrounded by people I knew from school or just from the neighborhood I was raised, but I didn't stay in contact with them and I had no idea where they went.
I didn't visit Old Town much, afraid that a guy would recognize me from my gigolo-time. I didn't do it on purpose but I realized that I had separated my two worlds, Grimaldi shipping and Pretty ass they come (PATC) and there were no cross-overs. No one at PATC knew my real name and we never had contact but over the phone. A guy I had hired did the recruitment and things like that so I never knew the faces of the guys who were working for me.
And the work....it had been so long that I went out myself, to accommodate a client. I had lost my touch and my appetite when I had to listen to the needs of so many freaks. There were nice guys of course who had the decency to shower before I came but more and more guys saw me as a product they had paid for and could do with what they wanted.
At first it was flattering that I could earn so much money with my body but in fact I didn't need it, my dad and grandmother had given me so much money that I didn't need to work at all. I could have laid on a beach chair in the Caribbean all my life with a cocktail in my hand if I had wanted.
But I needed to prove that I could earn my own bread so I worked. And I loved it. But after New Year’s, when I definitely had stopped at PATC I felt useless. And my sensitive grandmother knew it, she called me my first free afternoon and asked me how I was holding up. I admitted that she had been right all along, that I wasn't made for free time, so she asked if I wanted to drink tea with her.
I laughed so hard my stomach hurt; tea, why did she ask me that, I hated tea. But it was just an invitation to come and visit her. And after that we always met in the weekends, and we talked about personal stuff and business things. I cherished these days with her because she saw right through me and didn't judge a thing I had done in my life.
Drinking her famous coffee I sat down in her comfortable leather chair and opened my laptop. We didn't have an agenda when we met; it was just a matter of getting inspired by each other. And she did, she gave her opinion on a vision I had written for the Maltese section of the shipping company and I looked at her as if she let water burn.
"Why didn't I think of that myself grandma?", I asked. "It's brilliant".
She nodded. "When you are in business as long as I am its easy", she said smiling. "And about your other project, I have been talking to a few doctors in New York about the foundation of your friend and they all loved the goal, can't you talk to Reid and ask him if he is willing to consider spreading his wings? It could go national Luke, international; the ground idea is so lovely. I want to talk to this guy, can't you arrange a meeting with him?".
I closed my eyes and sighed. "We have been over this grandma", I said. "He doesn't want to meet me so stop pushing the subject. But you are right; the basic philosophy behind the fund is brilliant. Steven says that Reid refuses to give the foundation his name; Reid doesn't want to get famous. Steven said that Reid thinks he is a little autistic and he wants to stay out of the headlights, he gets enough attention for his work as a neuro surgeon".
"But you don't agree?".
I sighed again. "Well, it's refreshing that Reid is so humble, we live in a world in which people can't wait to get their name and picture in flashing lights so him not wanting to be a figurehead is nice. He says that it's the work that counts, and I don't want to do anything he is not ready for, it's his business. Of course he understands it that if we get more money we can help more people but he is not willing to invest more time than he does now".
"Maybe we can make a new foundation based on his idea but increase the amount of hospitals. If we take the lead in this it can help so many people. And I get it that you are a bit hesitant to see him again Luke", she said while looking at me.
I felt my face reddening. "You get what?", I asked.
"I understand that you separate work and pleasure. Reid was work and you are afraid that he will become more".
I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. For my grandma life was always so simple, it was black and white but for me ...the older I got the more grey nuances I saw.
And Reid was every shade of grey. I wanted to help him and I wanted to speak to him but I understood his point of view, and I got it that he asked more of me than I could give. And he got it that I couldn't answer to that.
"You know our impasse grandmother", I said with my eyes still closed. I couldn't look at her because she saw what I didn't want to know.
"It's not wrong to spend time with friends Luke", she said softly.
"I know", I answered. "But he is not a friend and he doesn't want to be one either. He thinks he knows me and he likes me too much".
"But what is there not to like honey?", she asked. "You are smart and funny and I certainly understand that he thinks you are sexy. Maybe you got off on the wrong foot but why are you so stubborn? He knows that you were a rent boy and he doesn't mind, he wants more and I can't see what the problem is here. Maybe it's time for you to start thinking about a relationship".
"I am not ready for that, you know me, I can't do it anymore".
"But you don't have to lose yourself when you are starting something with him", she said and looked intently at me. "Why is it so hard for you to admit that you need someone? You are talking about him every week but you still think that he was just a client".
I nodded. "Yes he was my last one, but I can't give him what he needs and I don't want to get his hopes up by seeing him. This is his call and I respect that".
She didn't let go. "But you liked being with him, right?".
"Yes I did, and that's frightening. Maybe this is not a normal topic to discuss with your grandmother but I don't want to be forced into sex again, ever, and Reid can't live without it so it will always be a thing that stands between us. If I start seeing him I can read in his eyes what he needs. I can't disappoint him grandma".
She nodded. "I love you Luke and I am not going to push the subject again, promise".
NEXT CHAPTER