Fresh start: chapter 25
Series: Fresh start
Chapter: 25
Written by: Parishs
Rating: nc-17
Summary: Reid is a neuro surgeon in Dallas with a burn out who tries to figure out what life is really about (Reid's POV).
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
Usually my man took control when we were together but this time he let me undress him and watched when I got rid of my clothes. The sadness was still there but I saw in his eyes that slowly he allowed himself to believe in a good ending with me.
I walked him backwards to the car and made him sit in the back. He hesitantly raised his arms and touched my skin. I shivered although the sun was burning on my back.
"I have missed you so freaking much Reid", he said and let his fingers slide down on my body until he reached my cock. He licked his lips while he started to stoke me slowly. I heard a moan escape my mouth while I tried to stand still, it took all my willpower not to sit on his lap and fuck him to an orgasm.
We never did slowly before but it was good, so good to let him set the pace. Although it was tantalizingly slow what he did it felt safe to be in his hands, and I knew he only wanted what was working for me.
I had to grab the roof of the car when he pulled me closer and took my cock in his mouth. He looked at me while he circled his tongue around the head, touching my balls in the meantime. God he was so good at this, hollowing his cheeks until I almost fell off the edge, then he slowed down and simply touched my inner thighs while he let my cock rest on his tongue. His eyes got that naughty look when he played with me and when I pushed my cock in his mouth to make him continue he panted, showing me how much pleasing me turned him on.
It was weird to lay naked in each other's arms in the back of my car but I didn't want to move, I wanted to enjoy the guy I had missed so much. I was so glad that he believed me when I spoke from the heart in his grandmother's house. That he somehow forced himself out of the situation he had been in.
"Hey", he said and caressed my cheek. "What's about the frown? I thought you would be happy right now".
I looked into his eyes and nodded. "Yes Luke I am the happiest person on earth laying here, but being with you sometimes makes me doubt. Am I doing what's best for you or am I just selfish here?".
He backed away a little and frowned too. "You have doubts about me? About us?".
I shook my head and smiled. "No you bastard, what's wrong with you that you ask me that? Of course I have no doubts about us; you are the best thing that has ever happened to me!
But I am not sure about what you need Luke, I have kidnapped you away from your family to come and live with me but can I do that now you are confused? I presume that you didn't want to live with your mother but it's a bit cocky to assume that you want to be with me.
I don't want to put any pressure on your shoulders you know, if you want to go back to your office or live with your grandma that's fine by me. Listen to me babbling, I don't know myself when I talk like this, I have always been very sure of myself but with you the world seems uncertain".
He sat up a bit and leaned on his elbow. "Reid, look at me, you don't have to decide things for me; I have been capable of making my own decisions my whole life so stop worrying about that.
When I was at my mother's house I guess I fell back into an old pattern, a mental state I have been in when I was with Noah. I let them control my life and I ....i don't know, they somehow made that I started to doubt about you and me.
In a way it was easy to let them take care of everything, I was so weak when my mother brought me back home. I was a bitch to them all day but I didn't do anything to change it, it's strange that I can fall back into a routine I have been for years which I hated and which I escaped when Noah ended our relationship. Maybe I need to start seeing a therapist to explain why I am like this in his presence".
I caressed his lip with my finger and he sucked it into his mouth. While biting on my nail he looked intensely at me.
It was wonderful to hear him talk about his past but it made my heart sink that he was suffering while looking back in time. This beautiful guy should have been spoiled and loved. Someone should have asked what he needed.
But maybe he didn't know before, maybe he accepted his life as it was even if it meant living in his office. It was so sad that even though he had more than enough money he wasn't able to create a life for himself that suited him. I was so glad that he felt good with me; it was a privilege to see that he slowly opened up to me about his family. About what was going on in his head?
"Don't be so hard on yourself Luke", I said. "You needed help with everything and your mother and Noah gave you that. Your concentration and focus were gone too so you were in no position to know what you needed.
But now you have recovered you can start to think for yourself again and I ask you: what do you want? Do you want to come home with me or shall I bring you somewhere? You don't insult me when you want to be alone for a while, I can get it that you need time to figure things out".
"Have I told you lately that I love you?", Luke said while a tear rolled down his cheek. "I have called you godsend a while ago but it's true, you are everything I need.
You want to support me but also challenge me to think for myself. You don't judge my mother and Noah even though you can't stand them. I can learn so much from you baby, you keep being positive and I need that, that someone shows me that my mom does what she does with good intentions, I couldn't see it that way anymore, I was sulking all day trying to sabotage their planning".
"Don't make me a saint Luke; my intentions are selfish because I want to be with you. And you are right, I can't stand them but I also realize that if I am going to be your boyfriend for as long as we live I am going to see her again, on the luncheon and on funerals, weddings and god knows what festivities your family comes up with.
And Noah too, he is still a part of your life so I have to learn to deal with him. It's going to be hard work for me as well Luke to be nice to them but I hope that we are going to strong together. Jeez I do sound like a self-indulging celebrity therapist".
"No you don't Reid; you are showing me that there are more sides on a medal than I have ever thought of. I have been sarcastic and defensive for years and it stressed me so much that it made me ill.
Not that my brain tumor was the result of that, or maybe it was, but it was eating me from the inside, the anger and frustration. I have blamed my mother and Noah for everything that went wrong in my life. I despised their hovering but in a way I let them do that, I didn't really end things with Noah because it was easy that he took care of things I didn't like to do myself".
I shivered and sat up. "Now let's talk about something positive, I have you back in my life and I am happy. What are you going to do?".
He kissed me and started to look for his clothes. "Let's go home", he said.
"And that is where, I asked?
"Your new farm if you will have me", he said and smiled shyly.
NEXT CHAPTER
Chapter: 25
Written by: Parishs
Rating: nc-17
Summary: Reid is a neuro surgeon in Dallas with a burn out who tries to figure out what life is really about (Reid's POV).
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
Usually my man took control when we were together but this time he let me undress him and watched when I got rid of my clothes. The sadness was still there but I saw in his eyes that slowly he allowed himself to believe in a good ending with me.
I walked him backwards to the car and made him sit in the back. He hesitantly raised his arms and touched my skin. I shivered although the sun was burning on my back.
"I have missed you so freaking much Reid", he said and let his fingers slide down on my body until he reached my cock. He licked his lips while he started to stoke me slowly. I heard a moan escape my mouth while I tried to stand still, it took all my willpower not to sit on his lap and fuck him to an orgasm.
We never did slowly before but it was good, so good to let him set the pace. Although it was tantalizingly slow what he did it felt safe to be in his hands, and I knew he only wanted what was working for me.
I had to grab the roof of the car when he pulled me closer and took my cock in his mouth. He looked at me while he circled his tongue around the head, touching my balls in the meantime. God he was so good at this, hollowing his cheeks until I almost fell off the edge, then he slowed down and simply touched my inner thighs while he let my cock rest on his tongue. His eyes got that naughty look when he played with me and when I pushed my cock in his mouth to make him continue he panted, showing me how much pleasing me turned him on.
It was weird to lay naked in each other's arms in the back of my car but I didn't want to move, I wanted to enjoy the guy I had missed so much. I was so glad that he believed me when I spoke from the heart in his grandmother's house. That he somehow forced himself out of the situation he had been in.
"Hey", he said and caressed my cheek. "What's about the frown? I thought you would be happy right now".
I looked into his eyes and nodded. "Yes Luke I am the happiest person on earth laying here, but being with you sometimes makes me doubt. Am I doing what's best for you or am I just selfish here?".
He backed away a little and frowned too. "You have doubts about me? About us?".
I shook my head and smiled. "No you bastard, what's wrong with you that you ask me that? Of course I have no doubts about us; you are the best thing that has ever happened to me!
But I am not sure about what you need Luke, I have kidnapped you away from your family to come and live with me but can I do that now you are confused? I presume that you didn't want to live with your mother but it's a bit cocky to assume that you want to be with me.
I don't want to put any pressure on your shoulders you know, if you want to go back to your office or live with your grandma that's fine by me. Listen to me babbling, I don't know myself when I talk like this, I have always been very sure of myself but with you the world seems uncertain".
He sat up a bit and leaned on his elbow. "Reid, look at me, you don't have to decide things for me; I have been capable of making my own decisions my whole life so stop worrying about that.
When I was at my mother's house I guess I fell back into an old pattern, a mental state I have been in when I was with Noah. I let them control my life and I ....i don't know, they somehow made that I started to doubt about you and me.
In a way it was easy to let them take care of everything, I was so weak when my mother brought me back home. I was a bitch to them all day but I didn't do anything to change it, it's strange that I can fall back into a routine I have been for years which I hated and which I escaped when Noah ended our relationship. Maybe I need to start seeing a therapist to explain why I am like this in his presence".
I caressed his lip with my finger and he sucked it into his mouth. While biting on my nail he looked intensely at me.
It was wonderful to hear him talk about his past but it made my heart sink that he was suffering while looking back in time. This beautiful guy should have been spoiled and loved. Someone should have asked what he needed.
But maybe he didn't know before, maybe he accepted his life as it was even if it meant living in his office. It was so sad that even though he had more than enough money he wasn't able to create a life for himself that suited him. I was so glad that he felt good with me; it was a privilege to see that he slowly opened up to me about his family. About what was going on in his head?
"Don't be so hard on yourself Luke", I said. "You needed help with everything and your mother and Noah gave you that. Your concentration and focus were gone too so you were in no position to know what you needed.
But now you have recovered you can start to think for yourself again and I ask you: what do you want? Do you want to come home with me or shall I bring you somewhere? You don't insult me when you want to be alone for a while, I can get it that you need time to figure things out".
"Have I told you lately that I love you?", Luke said while a tear rolled down his cheek. "I have called you godsend a while ago but it's true, you are everything I need.
You want to support me but also challenge me to think for myself. You don't judge my mother and Noah even though you can't stand them. I can learn so much from you baby, you keep being positive and I need that, that someone shows me that my mom does what she does with good intentions, I couldn't see it that way anymore, I was sulking all day trying to sabotage their planning".
"Don't make me a saint Luke; my intentions are selfish because I want to be with you. And you are right, I can't stand them but I also realize that if I am going to be your boyfriend for as long as we live I am going to see her again, on the luncheon and on funerals, weddings and god knows what festivities your family comes up with.
And Noah too, he is still a part of your life so I have to learn to deal with him. It's going to be hard work for me as well Luke to be nice to them but I hope that we are going to strong together. Jeez I do sound like a self-indulging celebrity therapist".
"No you don't Reid; you are showing me that there are more sides on a medal than I have ever thought of. I have been sarcastic and defensive for years and it stressed me so much that it made me ill.
Not that my brain tumor was the result of that, or maybe it was, but it was eating me from the inside, the anger and frustration. I have blamed my mother and Noah for everything that went wrong in my life. I despised their hovering but in a way I let them do that, I didn't really end things with Noah because it was easy that he took care of things I didn't like to do myself".
I shivered and sat up. "Now let's talk about something positive, I have you back in my life and I am happy. What are you going to do?".
He kissed me and started to look for his clothes. "Let's go home", he said.
"And that is where, I asked?
"Your new farm if you will have me", he said and smiled shyly.
NEXT CHAPTER