Open your heart
Title: Open your heart
Series: Love hurts
Written by: Parishs
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Reid doesn't feel good (Reid's POV).
Prompt: Fun Fic Friday prompt of Open your heart (08-29-2014)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Warning: English is not my native language, unbeta-ed.
Previous chapter
It felt only natural what we did. Luke’s hesitation melted when he felt how loved he was, how devoted we were. While I slowly undressed him I kissed his neck and inhaled the scent that was familiar after our Dallas-adventure.
My wet fingers slowly circled around his hole and he inhaled deeply, waiting for me to make the move he so desperately needed, but he had to wait , till I was ready, I didn’t want him to come so quickly, we were going to enjoy him for as long as we could. Reg caressed his balls softly while he kissed the shiny head of his erection.
Luke’s goose bumps made me smile. He wanted this, I knew he did, but he didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want me to see how much he liked Reg. Loved.
He always said they were friends, but I saw it, and felt it, how their lives were intertwined. I saw the lust in Reg’s eyes when he looked at Luke, and god, I couldn’t blame him, I knew what Luke’s being could evoke in you. How his eyes could make you drop everything you were doing.
It sounded nice and horny, but in a way I was his slave, he could ask me anything and I would do it.
And that was scary. Not because Luke would order me around or ask me things I was uncomfortable with, but because he had an effect on me like this. I felt possessed and I hated it.
So maybe this whole thing with our little threesome was more a good thing for me than for Luke, although he shivered under my hands. He was so freaking horny, but he had to wait till I decided to go on.
Reg’s eyes asked mine for permission to take his throbbing cock in his mouth, but he also had to wait. This moment of power was something I needed, I needed grip on my life, my life with Luke. It was childish and stupid, I realized that, but somehow I needed to get my control back, the situation seemed to swallow me, blow me away, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of doubt and need, agony and anger. My jealousy about their easy way of interacting blurred my mind.
Luke turned his head and looked at me over my shoulder, but before he could say a word I leaned forward to kiss him. How could I find words for the feelings I had when I didn’t have a clue myself what was happening to me? I was fighting the green monster but invited Reg in our lovemaking. I wanted Luke for myself but I knew he would never be only mine.
His tongue couldn’t ground me, his fingers in my hair didn’t make me feel better. I needed to own him, make him feel what I needed from him, maybe he would get it before I got saw the light myself. Fingers slipped inside his body and he moaned in my mouth. I nodded to Reg and while he sensually took Luke’s throbbing cock in his mouth, I pressed my hardness inside my lover. He accepted my intrusion and started to rock with me, in the rhythm I dictated, showing me that he was mine.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket but I didn’t bother answering it, I knew who was calling me and I had no desire of speaking to him. He wouldn’t understand me. He would yell at me. He would end things with me when he heard where I was. How could a dream mess you up so terribly?
I got the attention of the barman. “Refill”, I said softly, knowing that he would be able to read my lips.
The dream I had last night knocked me off my feet. I don’t know how I did it, but I got a lot of work done in the office today while my head was throbbing. And when I had done everything on my list I walked outside, to my car, and drove to a place with no name, but with a bar.
The soft calling in the back of my head got so loud that I couldn’t resist it anymore, I needed to give in. Drink. So much that my thoughts and fears would subside. That the dream of our threesome would fade. That my doubts flew away.
It was weird that a dream could have such an effect on you, that it held you in its grip all day. That it revealed thoughts you didn’t know you had. I had never seen Reg as a possible threat, but after my dream I realized how jealous I really was. About their texting, Luke told him every aspect of his life, he even shared our day in bed with Reg. Reg knew everything about Luke and he cared about him, he had his back. He loved Luke.
And when I thought about it, it all made sense. Of course Luke had friends, he was a great guy. And of course it had been a long time since they had sex. But thoughts and feelings weren’t the same things. I felt left out.
Being with Luke would always mean that I had to share him with Reg and I didn’t know if I could do it. Or, maybe I did, the dream last night made it perfectly clear. If I wanted to continue with Luke, I had to accept Reg. And it made me a bitch, needing control, needing to know that I was more important than Reg. Or whatever. After so much booze I didn’t see it clearly anymore. I only felt the sting of losing.
I had asked him to open his heart to me, and he had been trying, he really forced himself to tell me things he wasn’t ready to tell yet. I sucked it out of him. Why? Why did I force him to be honest while I was covering my feelings in smoke? Why was it so important to me that he choose me? Only me?
Obviously my talk with Marc only made things worse. When I saw him, a tiny little flame was ignited, a dark flame. Marc had told me about his infidelity and although it shouldn’t bother me after all this time, it obviously did. And now it made that I needed proof from Luke, proof he would never give me, because he had told me how important Reg was to him. The only solution was to let him go, but god, that was no option. I didn’t see a way out, the air around me was dark. I felt like I was floating in a black hole.
Next chapter
Series: Love hurts
Written by: Parishs
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Reid doesn't feel good (Reid's POV).
Prompt: Fun Fic Friday prompt of Open your heart (08-29-2014)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Warning: English is not my native language, unbeta-ed.
Previous chapter
It felt only natural what we did. Luke’s hesitation melted when he felt how loved he was, how devoted we were. While I slowly undressed him I kissed his neck and inhaled the scent that was familiar after our Dallas-adventure.
My wet fingers slowly circled around his hole and he inhaled deeply, waiting for me to make the move he so desperately needed, but he had to wait , till I was ready, I didn’t want him to come so quickly, we were going to enjoy him for as long as we could. Reg caressed his balls softly while he kissed the shiny head of his erection.
Luke’s goose bumps made me smile. He wanted this, I knew he did, but he didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want me to see how much he liked Reg. Loved.
He always said they were friends, but I saw it, and felt it, how their lives were intertwined. I saw the lust in Reg’s eyes when he looked at Luke, and god, I couldn’t blame him, I knew what Luke’s being could evoke in you. How his eyes could make you drop everything you were doing.
It sounded nice and horny, but in a way I was his slave, he could ask me anything and I would do it.
And that was scary. Not because Luke would order me around or ask me things I was uncomfortable with, but because he had an effect on me like this. I felt possessed and I hated it.
So maybe this whole thing with our little threesome was more a good thing for me than for Luke, although he shivered under my hands. He was so freaking horny, but he had to wait till I decided to go on.
Reg’s eyes asked mine for permission to take his throbbing cock in his mouth, but he also had to wait. This moment of power was something I needed, I needed grip on my life, my life with Luke. It was childish and stupid, I realized that, but somehow I needed to get my control back, the situation seemed to swallow me, blow me away, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of doubt and need, agony and anger. My jealousy about their easy way of interacting blurred my mind.
Luke turned his head and looked at me over my shoulder, but before he could say a word I leaned forward to kiss him. How could I find words for the feelings I had when I didn’t have a clue myself what was happening to me? I was fighting the green monster but invited Reg in our lovemaking. I wanted Luke for myself but I knew he would never be only mine.
His tongue couldn’t ground me, his fingers in my hair didn’t make me feel better. I needed to own him, make him feel what I needed from him, maybe he would get it before I got saw the light myself. Fingers slipped inside his body and he moaned in my mouth. I nodded to Reg and while he sensually took Luke’s throbbing cock in his mouth, I pressed my hardness inside my lover. He accepted my intrusion and started to rock with me, in the rhythm I dictated, showing me that he was mine.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket but I didn’t bother answering it, I knew who was calling me and I had no desire of speaking to him. He wouldn’t understand me. He would yell at me. He would end things with me when he heard where I was. How could a dream mess you up so terribly?
I got the attention of the barman. “Refill”, I said softly, knowing that he would be able to read my lips.
The dream I had last night knocked me off my feet. I don’t know how I did it, but I got a lot of work done in the office today while my head was throbbing. And when I had done everything on my list I walked outside, to my car, and drove to a place with no name, but with a bar.
The soft calling in the back of my head got so loud that I couldn’t resist it anymore, I needed to give in. Drink. So much that my thoughts and fears would subside. That the dream of our threesome would fade. That my doubts flew away.
It was weird that a dream could have such an effect on you, that it held you in its grip all day. That it revealed thoughts you didn’t know you had. I had never seen Reg as a possible threat, but after my dream I realized how jealous I really was. About their texting, Luke told him every aspect of his life, he even shared our day in bed with Reg. Reg knew everything about Luke and he cared about him, he had his back. He loved Luke.
And when I thought about it, it all made sense. Of course Luke had friends, he was a great guy. And of course it had been a long time since they had sex. But thoughts and feelings weren’t the same things. I felt left out.
Being with Luke would always mean that I had to share him with Reg and I didn’t know if I could do it. Or, maybe I did, the dream last night made it perfectly clear. If I wanted to continue with Luke, I had to accept Reg. And it made me a bitch, needing control, needing to know that I was more important than Reg. Or whatever. After so much booze I didn’t see it clearly anymore. I only felt the sting of losing.
I had asked him to open his heart to me, and he had been trying, he really forced himself to tell me things he wasn’t ready to tell yet. I sucked it out of him. Why? Why did I force him to be honest while I was covering my feelings in smoke? Why was it so important to me that he choose me? Only me?
Obviously my talk with Marc only made things worse. When I saw him, a tiny little flame was ignited, a dark flame. Marc had told me about his infidelity and although it shouldn’t bother me after all this time, it obviously did. And now it made that I needed proof from Luke, proof he would never give me, because he had told me how important Reg was to him. The only solution was to let him go, but god, that was no option. I didn’t see a way out, the air around me was dark. I felt like I was floating in a black hole.
Next chapter