[DCU] In a World Without You, Part 3
Title: In a World Without You (3/5)
Fandom: DC Universe
Characters/Pairings: Tim/Kon, Tim/OFC
Rating: R
Spoilers: None, unless you have no idea what happens in Infinite Crisis.
Warnings: Dark themes, lots of angst, mentions of character death, language, psychological/emotional unbalances and mature sexual content.
Word Count: 2169 (for this part)
Summary: After Kon's death, Tim copes in the only way he knows how: ... he doesn't.
Notes: I thought this would be a 4 part story, but the ending exploded into a monster of a finale, so I had to split it in half again lol. It is complete, so expect five parts now, along with an epilogue. Enjoy!
Previous chapters: Part 1 | Part 2
“Let’s get out of here,” said Kon unexpectedly, his eyes staring out the barn window.
“It’s the middle of the night, Kon. And you haven’t recovered from what happened yet,” said Tim, standing up from the sofa and walking to where Kon was standing. “Besides where would we go?”
Kon shrugged. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But let’s just go. I’m fine, really,” he said when Tim began to look unsure. “Look, I won’t exert myself if that’s what you’re worried about. We could take Pa’s truck and just drive for miles… just the two of us.” He glanced sideways at Tim, smiling sheepishly. “I know it sounds silly… but I just want to get away from here for a bit. We may never get this chance ever again, and I… I just want to spend it with you. For however long.”
Tim slipped his hand into Kon’s, intertwining them together; his smile soft.
“I want to be with you too,” he said, and felt the squeeze of his fingers as his answer.
000
Tim moaned; the sounds bouncing off the walls and echoing back at him.
His back was digging against the wall of a building in the most painful, uncomfortable way possible, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, let alone think straight, at the moment.
The man he left the bar with had pushed him into the corner and was undoing several buttons of his shirt, exposing Tim from the neck down. Tim shivered, but whether it was from the cool night air sweeping past his skin or because the guy seemed to know exactly where each and everyone of Tim’s sensitive spots were, Tim wasn’t sure. All he knew was, the intimacy, the heat and the desperation, it made him feel… alive again. He wanted more.
“You feel so good,” the man said, as he hoisted Tim off the ground and settled him atop a pile of empty boxes.
Tim didn’t think twice about wrapping his legs around the man’s waist and rutted his hips in that irresistible way that made the man lurch forward and moan. The man’s hand journeyed from Tim’s chest and down, down, down until they stopped at the garter of his pants, his fingers poised at the zipper.
“Can I?” he murmured from between the juncture of his neck and shoulder, and the question made Tim think back to that dark summer’s night, cropped fields and a red truck parked miles from the nearest sign of civilization. He remembered a pair of big, warm hands at his waist, dragging his pants down slowly, and the combination of wet and heat coming down between his thighs.
Tim barely heard himself whisper a fainted, “Yes” from somewhere, before his pants and underwear were yanked down to his ankles and his legs were being spread wide apart.
The man was on his knees at once, his big hands tight on Tim’s thighs and hips, trying to keep them from jerking too much. His head bobbed up and down as he sucked relentlessly on Tim’s cock.
“Oh, fuck,” Tim cursed, his hands and fingers digging into the man’s neck and shoulders as he tried to move his hips. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck…”
It felt so good. So fucking good.
In the distance, he was back at that open field, with Kon’s mouth on him and Tim’s hands in his hair, urging him on.
The man’s blue eyes looked up at him, gleaming and darkening as they watched Tim fall apart, and the familiarity of it made Tim moan even louder.
“Tim…”
“Oh, god, I… I…” Tim shut his eyes as the memories washed over him, along with the pleasure.
Kon was impatiently fumbling for the buttons of his jeans, barely able to get them off before giving up halfway and just fucking into Tim like he couldn’t suppress himself anymore.
“You’re mine,” Kon’s voice growled in his ear. “Mine, mine, mine.” Each possessive word enunciated with every vicious thrust.
“Yours,” Tim whispered in agreement, and came; Kon’s name falling from his lips before he could stop himself.
000
“Did you have to kiss him?” said Kon, looking irritated.
Tim was filing the last of his research back into the archives and was only half-listening. “Hmm?” he said absently.
Kon’s eyes narrowed. “I said: did you have to kiss that dude back there?” he said, crossing his arms.
“I was undercover,” Tim explained for what felt like the one hundredth time that night. “If I didn’t do that, our suspect would have gotten away with murder. Besides, it wasn’t real.”
“Well, it looked pretty real from where I was watching,” Kon grumbled. “You definitely looked like you were enjoying yourself.”
Now it was Tim’s turn to look annoyed. “What the hell is your problem, Kon?” he demanded. “Ever since we got back from the station, you’ve been acting like a total jackass.”
Kon scowled. “Problem? I don’t have a problem,” he said sarcastically. “What sort of problem could I possibly have with watching you shove your tongue down some other guy’s throat? I don’t have a fucking problem, no siree.”
He turned his back on Tim, who could only blink at Kon in disbelief.
Tim moved around to face Kon, who had his eyes trained at the wall, like he wanted to burn holes in it with his heat vision.
“Kon,” he said slowly, “are you… are you jealous?”
He watched as Kon’s jaw tensed, and knew right away that he was right on target. Maybe on some other occasion, he would have laughed at the silliness of the situation, but right now, all Tim could feel was his heart beating a million miles per minute.
“Kon,” he said, and when Kon still refused to look at him, Tim reached over to cup his face, bringing Kon’s eyes back on him. They were weary and tired, as if bracing for the moment when Tim would call him out on his foolishness. Tim did no such thing.
Instead, he took one of Kon’s large hands and placed it over his chest.
“What do you feel,” he said finally, looking at Kon’s face for an answer.
Kon didn’t speak for a moment, his brow furrowed slightly in mild confusion, before saying, “Your heart.”
Tim nodded. “And what’s it doing?” he said.
“Beating,” said Kon, frowning as he looked closer at where his hand was resting. “Pretty fast, I might add.”
Tim nodded again. “Yes,” he said and looked at his feet. “That’s how it always gets when I’m around you.”
He could feel his cheeks burning and he just knew Kon was openly staring at him now, but he forced himself to go on.
“I… kissed that guy,” Tim admitted, stepping towards him, “but it wasn’t like how you thought it was.” He met Kon’s eyes again, determined. “My heart didn’t beat like this when I was with him.” He took another breath, another step until they were chest to chest; Kon’s hand smashed in between them. “It never beats that way for anyone else, but… but you.”
Kon’s didn’t-couldn’t say a word, but his face, his eyes and the formation of his smile on his lips said everything Tim needed to know.
He leaned forward, his forehead touching Tim’s, the tips of their noses barely brushing. Kon sighed, content, and Tim closed his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in the thumping of Kon’s heart beating steady and loud beneath his palms.
000
When it was over, they both sat there for a long moment, unmoving and trying to catch their breaths. The man pressed his cheek along Tim’s pliant legs and smiled up at him.
“That was awesome,” he said, nuzzling the tip of his nose against his thigh.
Tim was too spent to say anything just yet, but he brushed the tips of his fingers along the man’s cheek, which was all the answer he seemed to need. The man got up off the ground and crowded into Tim’s space again, pulling Tim into a tight embrace.
Tim’s nose was filled with the man’s scent; of spices, wind and a soap Tim didn’t recognize. And it was so strange how different it was from a few moment’s ago, where Tim could have sworn he smelt exactly like Kon.
“Do you want to go to my place?” the man murmured, pressing a light kiss along the side of Tim’s neck, making him sigh and cling tighter because the action was just so familiar. “I can make you feel good again…”
His hand wandered back down to Tim’s legs. Tim jerked and gasped.
Yes. Oh god, yes, yes, Kon, Tim thought desperately.
“What are you doing, Tim?”
Tim’s heart leapt into his throat as his eyes flew open. He stared out into the dark, long and hard, but couldn’t find what he was looking for.
“Kon…” he murmured, starting to shake. Pieces of reality were starting to mold themselves back together; each one making Tim sicker and sicker by the second.
“Kon?” said the man, and it was like the first time Tim noticed he was there. “Who’s Kon?”
Tim could not answer. But the longer he stared looking at this man, the more conscious of things Tim became, like the way the guy’s hands were big, especially in the way they engulfed Tim’s slender and smaller ones, but they did not exude the same warmth… the same fire that always set his skin ablaze with every touch. The man was tall, broad along the shoulders and built around his chest and arms, however, they failed to bring any kind of security or comfort that Tim always felt when he was being held by another.
The man was remarkably handsome and so was his smile, but they did not make Tim’s heart pick up speed, did not make him catch his breath, in a way that only Kon’s smile could make him come undone. And when the man kissed him, it didn’t evoke the same hunger, the same level of desperation in Tim that he knew he could only feel from someone else.
Someone… who was longer here to do all of those things.
This was wrong, Tim thought. The feeling of nausea doubled. This was all wrong. This man was wrong. He wasn’t… he wasn’t…
“C’mon, let’s get out of here…” said the man, his hand at Tim’s waist and Tim felt his skin crawl in the most unpleasant way.
He jerked back. “I… I can’t,” he said. And from beneath the street light, Tim could clearly see that this man didn’t look anything like Kon at all, save for the eyes. They were the same dark, swirling blue as Kon’s, except they never once looked at Tim like Tim meant everything-meant the entire world-to him. He did not look at Tim like he loved him.
Now Tim really felt like he was going to be sick.
“This was… I didn’t mean… This was a mistake,” he said, pulling his clothes back on and backing away. The man didn’t say anything and Tim couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes. “Sorry,” he said, because it was the only thing he could say, and ran off into the streets, not once daring to look back.
000
“I love you,” said Kon as they lay at the back of the truck, satiated and completely spent. Kon was leaning against his hand, his other running along the length of Tim’s arms and his back, just watching him.
Tim looked up and met Kon’s eyes, which swirled dark and blue beneath the moonlight, but also with something else, something soft, like wonder… and love. No one had ever looked that way at Tim before, like he was something special. It made Tim stop breathing again.
Still keeping his eyes on him, Kon took one of Tim’s hand in his own and kissed the center of his palm in the gentlest, sweetest way that made Tim’s heart squeeze so badly he thought he might burst.
“I love you,” he said again. “Always have, always will.” And Tim knew Kon always meant it.
With his free hand, Tim reached out and swept his fingers along Kon’s cheek.
“I love you too,” he said, smiling. “Always.”
000
Tim leaned into the porcelain bowl and threw up. He was shivering violently now; his face thin and pale. He could barely stop the feeling of disgust and guilt that were threatening to overwhelm him.
“Tim… I love you…”
“I’m sorry,” he gasped, squeezing his eyes tight. Tears started to pour down from his eyes. “Oh, God, Kon. I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! Kon!”
But he did not hear Kon’s voice, not tonight.
“Kon, please,” he whispered, curling himself into a ball at the corner of the bathroom. “Kon… I miss you so much. Just… please.”
Silence.
“Kon, Kon, Kon!” Tim sobbed. “Kon, I’m so sorry. Kon!”
And all throughout the night, Tim heard nothing else but the break of his own tears.
Part 4