[Thread] They have issues

[spongetastic]

Who: Pete peterelli and Chris nottwiceblessed
What: They both have some... issues. Yeah
When: after this
Where: teh roof
Rating: A is for Angst/Avoidance/Awkwardness

Comments

[nottwiceblessed]

Chris sat on the edge of the roof, legs crossed and his arm propped up on his knee. He looked on at the town that was still awash with rainbow, though by now the colors were muted as the townsfolk had at least given an effort to try and wash their buildings off. The early morning sunrise only added to the effect of the pale colors.

Honestly, his mind couldn't be further from the problems of the town or even the extremely artist problem of the Castle.

He just couldn't reconcile that after all he had learned, all he had done, all he'd striven to accomplish... Was that really all that he could do? Just make the most of it until it was over? It seemed like such a cheap way to end things.

[spongetastic]

Peter was doing two things that would be considered very rude: spying and eavesdropping. Though he convinced himself that it wasn't really a bad thing. Chris was his friend, and finding out what was wrong with his friend was the first step to helping take care of the problem.

The initial plan was to invisibly sit next to Chris and keep him company. But that idea was out the window. Chris would probably sense him anyway. Besides... this was the first time Peter would really get to talk to him since getting his memory back. The first time Chris would meet the real Peter. He had to say something.

"Chris." He said the name quietly to not startle the other. Just loud enough for him to know he wasn't alone. He moved into sight, determinedly holding his head up despite the desire to drop his gaze.

[nottwiceblessed]

The sound of his name broke Chris out of his reverie. He tilted his head in the direction of the voice and saw Peter standing there. He couldn't help the light frown that came with seeing him. What was he doing up here?

"Hey," he greeted back carefully, turning half-way to show that Peter now had his attention. While he would really rather Peter didn't but him right now, Chris realized it was probably not the best idea to say so. The man had just recovered his memories after three weeks of complete amnesia, and if he still had his lingering distrust of Claire, Chris couldn't really turn him away in good conscience. So, he asked, "What's up?"

[spongetastic]

The frown really didn't help Peter's own mood very much. Of course Chris wouldn't be happy to see him. But he was here now and he wouldn't go away unless Chris asked.

"I thought you could use company... Obviously I was wrong," he said. "You don't have to tell me what's really wrong if you don't want to. I just... I wanted to talk to you." He paused, wishing he had pockets or something. He ended up taking a seat next to Chris. But Peter didn't really know how to begin to deal with this in a gentle way. He could tell Chris wasn't up for a blunt confrontation.

"It bothers you that I care so much about you, doesn't it?" he asked. "I know you can take care of yourself, but... Claire's indestructable, and that doesn't stop me from wanting to protect her." Peter wasn't making eye contact now but at least he was getting something out. "It's because of you that I didn't lose my mind when I had amnesia, so... how could I not care?"

[nottwiceblessed]

Chris opened his mouth to say something, then sighed. Shaking his head, he tried to get his thoughts in order.

Why did it bother him that people cared about him here? Before, it was that Chris knew that sooner or later one of them was going to disappear and, even if they did return, they'd never remember each other like they used to. Now... it was more than that. If Chris left... he would die and quite possibly be erased from the time stream if he really did change the future. Which meant that if he was ever brought back to the Castle, he wouldn't even be himselfOn the other hand, something that Hamlet had told him when he had taken over Chris's room kept him from closing off completely. It was also the thing people were telling him now that he had learned of his eventual fate. To make the most of the time he had, since no one ever knew what would happen in a place like Paradisa

[spongetastic]

He already swore to himself that he would not under any circumstances read Chris's mind. It was an invasion of privacy that he was very sure Chris would not appreciate. But that promise was getting to be very hard to stick to. He was dying to know what was going through the other man's head.

He knew Chris would answer the way he did, but that still didn't mean Peter was happy about it. Feeling annoyed, he rose to his feet, turning away from the half-Whitelighter. How would Chris know what he thought? He closed his eyes, rubbing his temples to try calming himself a bit.

"You don't have to explain," he said. "I know why. I don't have to read your mind to know." Of course, the reason Peter assumed wasn't what was really going through Chris's head. He didn't want to put any damage on this friendship but he couldn't just ignore how he felt, either.

"I understand... You have to protect yourself. But I'm not Wyatt, and I would never hurt you." Ah, there it was. The thing he suspected ever since he heard the name from Chris's child self.

[nottwiceblessed]

The reminder of Peter's telepathy prompted Chris to stiffen ever so slightly, however Peter's next statement both assured him that the other man was no where in his mind and startled him, throwing him completely off balance.

"What?" he asked, incredulous that Peter would think to bring his brother into the conversation. "Wyatt has nothing to do with this," he assured bitterly, frowning. "Why do you think I would think you'd hurt me?" He shook his head and gave Peter an almost-angry, confused look.

It didn't make sense. How did Peter get from being concerned that Chris wouldn't let himself admit he cared to Wyatt? And why did he automatically assume that Wyatt had hurt him, and that he had to assure Chris that he also wouldn't? Not that it wasn't true, there were plenty of times Wyatt had been out for his blood, the most recent of which was too fuzzy to properly recall (and he didn't want to think what that might imply), but... how could Peter have possibly made the connection?

[spongetastic]

It was too bad Chris wasn't spending time in Peter's head or this would've all made sense. Peter had taken suspicious comments and strung them all together to come to the completely wrong conclusion. His fingers twitched; the Spongey part of him was raging, wanting to hurt.

"Then I don't remind you of Wyatt? And my powers don't frighten you at all? Don't lie to me, Chris. I know that's why you didn't tell me about him." If Chris was almost-angry, Peter was full-out angry. "You thought I might be like him." If he was right or not was anyone's guess. But that had been his conclusion, and the anger from that conclusion was still there.

"I wish you had trusted me enough to tell me about him. I thought you were right, you know. I still think you are a little... because I really could've hurt you."

[nottwiceblessed]

Chris vaulted up from his sitting position and paced away, pausing when he was a fair distance away from the edge to whirl around and point at Peter for a moment before lowering his hand. "I am not afraid of Wyatt!" he said, now on the defensive. "And I'm not afraid of you, either."

This was too much. That Peter would accuse Chris of holding him up against Wyatt and comparing? Spreading his arms out and frowning widely, he continued with, "You only have one thing in common with him and it turns out it's not even remotely similar!" He raised his brows in challenge. "You know what that is? The amount of powers you have. That's it."

He brought his arms back down and turned away, taking a few more steps as he tried to calm down and think. "And another thing," he said, half-turning so he could give Peter a hard stare. "I didn't tell you about Wyatt because I never tell anyone about Wyatt. Maybe when I was eight, things were different, but it's not the same now. I'm not the same

[spongetastic]

Well... that was what he got for coming to the wrong conclusion. Which only made Peter feel worse about the whole thing.

"So I was wrong." He turned away, unconsciously turning invisible so Chris wouldn't have to look at him. "That's just how I felt. You were all I had, so... even the slightest hint that there was something wrong scared me. My first memories here was everyone thinking I was a living bomb. I made the wrong connections in my mind."

It still wasn't a good excuse. He knew that. It was just a part of himself he'd have to deal with.

"It wasn't really me. It was... it was a dark part of me, who thought all those things. I'm really sorry." And then he was quiet, so Chris could just pretend he had left if that made things easier. He quietly listened, hoping Chris would think him not completely beyond forgiveness.