[HM. Serious time.] You know, when Clark and I first got together here, he was from a year in my future, and back home for me, he'd seemed to make it clear that he was never gonna be over Lana.
And when we got together here, even though he knew we were together in the future of our own world, he never told me. And from the time he's from we... well, we weren't together anymore. We'd broken up.
And he still went forward with things here. I think he saw it as a second chance, or maybe it was the fact that there weren't any secrets between us finally.
Knowing that we were both likely to forget anything that happened here didn't change my mind about wanting to be with him though. Even if we were never going to be together back home, I still wanted to be with him any moment that I could.
I don't know how you couldn't, if you love somebody. It wasn't always easy, though.
But if you let yourself be with him and love him and get attached, then how are you supposed to handle when he inevitably disappears? Or how is he supposed to handle when you do? I mean, it's Paradisa, it's going to happen someday, it's not like we can pretend it won't. If you really put that much of yourself into someone, then what are you left with when they disappear? They'd take a part of you with them.
It doesn't work that way, Claire. Just because he goes, doesn't mean he 'disappears'. He'd still be here with me, and I know he'd feel the same way. He's always going to be in my heart, which I know sounds a lot like a Phil Collins song and/or Hallmark card, but ... they're Hallmark cards for a reason. It's true.
Sure I'd miss him, but I'd at least have the memory that he loved me, while I was here. If anything, that would help pull me through.
You're right. It is pretty Hallmark. I wish I could buy into that, but I just ... I don't understand how you can say that. How do you know you'll pull through after putting so much of yourself into your relationship with him? How can you be that certain that you don't even worry about that stuff? Memories aren't the same. And most of the time, they hurt even worse than if you'd never known them at all.
girly filter;supertorsoFebruary 27 2011, 23:20:49 UTC
Losing people is something I'm terrified of. I've lost a lot in my life, my family, my planet, and I've got a lot of trouble keeping friends for some reason. But even though I've lost so much, I still can't let go of the people I care about.
The way I see it, separation is a sad inevitability. Even if none of us ever got sent home or we could all go visit and live in whatever universes we wanted to, eventually death happens. And I'm Kryptonian. So long as I'm under a yellow sun, my cells won't die and I'll age very, very slowly. It's likely that if my job doesn't kill me, I'm going to out-live every one of my human friends.
But I would rather have a few years, or hell, even a few months of happiness with someone than never have any time with them at all. It'll hurt really, really bad once they're gone, but you learn to move on. And when they're gone, you've still got all the happy memories of the two of you together to cling to.
The fear is always there, but the desire for a chance to be happy, even for a short time, outweighs the
[ there's a pause because claire has to acknowledge that whoa kara actually ... really gets it better than anyone, doesn't she? losing family. trouble keeping friends. acknowledging that you're probably going to outlive everyone you meet. ]
But you can be happy without being with them. I mean, there are other ways that wouldn't involve letting something like that happen where you'd have to lose part of yourself if they disappeared, right? There has to be some kind of middle ground between ... hermitage and opening yourself to just get crushed when the castle gets fickle.
There's not. [ her voice gets a little quiet and a little sad. ] You can try and keep people at arms length all you want, letting them in a little but never to close. In the end, either they'll get sick of it, you'll figure out that it's just as lonely, if not worse, than having no people close to you at all or some combination of the two.
Oddly enough, I have no clue how I do it. I know that this place is pretty crazy. I dated someone before Sam, too... which was, too much too fast.
I have a therapist, I live in the city about half of the time, and Sam was my best friend here before I actually considered dating him.
[exhales] It's never easy though. Here or back home. Also, it's odd just rambling this to you. If you want to meet for coffee or some light dusting and sweeping? [she's half-joking half-serious]
We can talk about this if you want. You can talk to Sam, too. I mean, he's actually had someone leave on him - Max, who we work with, she dated Dean. He's been here twice since the one she was seeing.
I'm surprised anyone could tolerate Dean long enough to date him. The guy's a grade-A jerk. But I guess that's a conversation for another time ... if you want, we could go get coffee. I could come into town and we could go to the Wildcat or whatever that shop is that Jilly works at?
Dean's... [there's no real easy way to explain anything about Dean] he's got a lot going on back home. The few times he's been here before, he was from an earlier point in his life. It's a bit complicated, but I'm pretty sure that goes with out saying.
The Wildcat is good or I can just see about coming in a few hours early to a shift. Get a bit of overlap.
I'd definitely rather go into town. I'm having that ... need to get out of the castle itch. Things are too cloistered here. I feel like I can't breathe.
I'm not exactly in the dating scene much nowadays, but I'll give this a go since... I've had a few conversations about this recently.
Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, right? I try not to think about what might happen down the road, but I'm a live in the moment kind of gal. It's not fair to me or anyone else if I second guess my friendships or relationships.
People can disappear at any time here, but people can disappear at any time at home, too.
stephanieautophoenixFebruary 28 2011, 04:03:56 UTC
I included you on the filter because I wanted to hear what you had to say, current relationship status or not. You're my friend so ... your opinion counts.
But, I mean, who decided that it was better to love and lose anyway? Some old guy who's been dead for over a hundred years. It just feels kind of masochistic to constantly, willingly set yourself up for failure like this.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's brave of the others to do it. And sometimes you really can't help it... For instance, it's not like it would be any more helpful for Clark and Lois to stay apart when they already love each other. It wouldn't hurt any less if one of them left.
But if you aren't already involved, the key is just...not to let anyone get that close, I suppose. For the others, it's going to be hard no matter what path they take.
It seems kind of lonely, doesn't it? I mean, yeah, there's a middle ground, you don't have to hermit yourself, but if you keep everyone around you from mattering that much so that you don't get hurt ... [ hrnngh ]
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And when we got together here, even though he knew we were together in the future of our own world, he never told me. And from the time he's from we... well, we weren't together anymore. We'd broken up.
And he still went forward with things here. I think he saw it as a second chance, or maybe it was the fact that there weren't any secrets between us finally.
Knowing that we were both likely to forget anything that happened here didn't change my mind about wanting to be with him though. Even if we were never going to be together back home, I still wanted to be with him any moment that I could.
I don't know how you couldn't, if you love somebody. It wasn't always easy, though.
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Sure I'd miss him, but I'd at least have the memory that he loved me, while I was here. If anything, that would help pull me through.
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The way I see it, separation is a sad inevitability. Even if none of us ever got sent home or we could all go visit and live in whatever universes we wanted to, eventually death happens. And I'm Kryptonian. So long as I'm under a yellow sun, my cells won't die and I'll age very, very slowly. It's likely that if my job doesn't kill me, I'm going to out-live every one of my human friends.
But I would rather have a few years, or hell, even a few months of happiness with someone than never have any time with them at all. It'll hurt really, really bad once they're gone, but you learn to move on. And when they're gone, you've still got all the happy memories of the two of you together to cling to.
The fear is always there, but the desire for a chance to be happy, even for a short time, outweighs the
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But you can be happy without being with them. I mean, there are other ways that wouldn't involve letting something like that happen where you'd have to lose part of yourself if they disappeared, right? There has to be some kind of middle ground between ... hermitage and opening yourself to just get crushed when the castle gets fickle.
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I have a therapist, I live in the city about half of the time, and Sam was my best friend here before I actually considered dating him.
[exhales] It's never easy though. Here or back home. Also, it's odd just rambling this to you. If you want to meet for coffee or some light dusting and sweeping? [she's half-joking half-serious]
We can talk about this if you want. You can talk to Sam, too. I mean, he's actually had someone leave on him - Max, who we work with, she dated Dean. He's been here twice since the one she was seeing.
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Dean's... [there's no real easy way to explain anything about Dean] he's got a lot going on back home. The few times he's been here before, he was from an earlier point in his life. It's a bit complicated, but I'm pretty sure that goes with out saying.
The Wildcat is good or I can just see about coming in a few hours early to a shift. Get a bit of overlap.
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So, I'll meet you at the Wildcat in like twenty?
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Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, right? I try not to think about what might happen down the road, but I'm a live in the moment kind of gal. It's not fair to me or anyone else if I second guess my friendships or relationships.
People can disappear at any time here, but people can disappear at any time at home, too.
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But, I mean, who decided that it was better to love and lose anyway? Some old guy who's been dead for over a hundred years. It just feels kind of masochistic to constantly, willingly set yourself up for failure like this.
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[ ooc; SOB I am so sorry for the late. ;; Got caught up in family shenanigans. ]
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I think you're the first person to actually understand and agree with me.
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But if you aren't already involved, the key is just...not to let anyone get that close, I suppose. For the others, it's going to be hard no matter what path they take.
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