attempt number seventeen ♓ (written)
( private )
When my parents got divorced, on their paperwork they cited the reasoning as "irreconcilable differences." I guess that's supposed to be the nice way of explaining what my dad did to our family, but I didn't really understand it until now. I always figured they'd fight it out and get over it like they always did, not just call it quits for good.
Honestly? I still kind of feel responsible for it. But at least now I understand a little better. Sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone, when you have different ideas of how to protect them, you can't just pretend it'll still work.
Does that make me my dad in all of this? Am I really that screwed up for just wanting to account for the worst case scenario and protect us both from it? I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
The worst part is not being able to shake this guilty feeling that I messed up somehow.
( close girl friends; lois, steph, cassie, kara, jo )
I know some of you guys are seeing guys here who either aren't from where you're from or you aren't with them there or ... whatever. Or that your boyfriend has showed up and disappeared like there's a revolving door at the front of the castle. Or --
I guess what I want to know is just ... how do you do it? I mean, aren't you scared of what'll happen if one of you vanishes and leaves the other behind and you lose them, or worse: if he comes back and doesn't remember you at all?
Not that I want to put you on the spot or anything, I just don't get it. Nothing's certain here. How can you put your feelings on the line like that and not be scared to death?
When my parents got divorced, on their paperwork they cited the reasoning as "irreconcilable differences." I guess that's supposed to be the nice way of explaining what my dad did to our family, but I didn't really understand it until now. I always figured they'd fight it out and get over it like they always did, not just call it quits for good.
Honestly? I still kind of feel responsible for it. But at least now I understand a little better. Sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone, when you have different ideas of how to protect them, you can't just pretend it'll still work.
Does that make me my dad in all of this? Am I really that screwed up for just wanting to account for the worst case scenario and protect us both from it? I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
The worst part is not being able to shake this guilty feeling that I messed up somehow.
( close girl friends; lois, steph, cassie, kara, jo )
I know some of you guys are seeing guys here who either aren't from where you're from or you aren't with them there or ... whatever. Or that your boyfriend has showed up and disappeared like there's a revolving door at the front of the castle. Or --
I guess what I want to know is just ... how do you do it? I mean, aren't you scared of what'll happen if one of you vanishes and leaves the other behind and you lose them, or worse: if he comes back and doesn't remember you at all?
Not that I want to put you on the spot or anything, I just don't get it. Nothing's certain here. How can you put your feelings on the line like that and not be scared to death?