fuck

[pangeasplit]

mom, i am so sorry. i have just been reading backwards, and i know that i fucked up royally for a long time. i never meant to bring that into your house. im sorry. i didnt think you or the boys would ever notice. i was stupid. i know i can never make it up to you, but i can try. i am going to do something good with my life. no more dating assholes

Comments

[kayarjee]

I'll always be proud of you, no matter what. You've come so far in such short time. Since I met you, you have changed so much. You have pulled a complete 180 degree turn. Your mindset has changed from, "Hey, I'm depressed and want to run away, so lets get drunk, steal from cars, and screw!" to "I can't wait to make something of my life in the Navy. I don't feel like getting drunk because it makes me depressed, I flat out refuse to steal because it would ruin everything I've worked for were I caught (not only that, its wrong), and I think we should act a little less like horny teenagers for a while so we don't ruin our relationship." You've gotten a job for the sole fact that the family needs help with bills, you've put up with homelife for a long time without actually snapping and killing everyone, and you've actually made me a happy person. I'm so proud of you, you have no idea

[anne_ann_anne]

emily, babe. you need to learn something i learned a long time ago. and this is not a hit on your mom, its true for everyone. no matter how hard you try, you cannot make people proud. and you know what? that's a good thing. because in the long run, it's just going to be you and god. and thats all that will matter. so try concentrating more on making yourself proud, and less on others, aight. i love you so much. you are the coolest chick i have ever met in my life. and you have changed so much since i met you.(for the better). i love you kid. take care of yourself.

[chrkuc]

Em, you're being too hard on yourself. Your mom should be incredibly proud of you. You have made incredible impacts on peoples lives. People care about, turn to you for support. Now you have joined the Navy; something I could never do. There is a point in everyones life where they realize that it's time to grow up. You have reached it. There can only be good things ahead for you. They might not seem that way, but everything that will happen will be for your benefit. I'm also really glad that you found a person you can care about. Hold onto him. Try and keep in touch. Good luck!

Now slip inside yourSelf, and be fully who you want to be

[reality]

Now internalize this, to make it real.

And make it so you'll be proud of you, first and foremost (everyone else in your life is more of a 'can you please doublecheck this for me?' kind of person, by design).

It's always good to have the target inside. You are with you 24 hours a day, 365 days a week. You're there when you're sleeping, you're there when you're awake, you're there with your hand wherever your hand is going to be, even when you poop.

It's you inside you... it's you who sees with your eyes, hears with your ears, touches with your fingers, and tastes with your mouth.

*You*, have high standards for yourself. You judge you, you make you happy.

It's more instantaneous when your you and your targets for being are all inside yourself. That's where you live after all. Make you an enjoyable place.

Create love... for all, and for all, a good bright,
~ R

Re: Now slip inside yourSelf, and be fully who you want to be

[pangeasplit]

i never thought about it that way.
thank you...

[reality]

btw, how long you been in florida? and where the heck is that? i'm in coral springs, but don't know much about where places are here.

[pangeasplit]

i live in the panhandle of florida, right where the little red star is on this map.
cantonment
ive been here for almost six months. i arrived on thanksgiving day at about cusk, just in time to eat dinner with my fathers family. you live here in florida too? i thought you lived in california... anyway, i have been quite well, and it is rather nice to hear from you. if you go to the meetups, maybe (if you actually are in florida) you could come to a cantonment meetup, and we could shake hands and talk. that would be rather nice. you give me inspiration and a lot of hope sometimes. it would be nice to meet you. well, i hope to hear from you soon, and i shall take my leave now.