(Untitled)

[scorching_heat]

What is WRONG with this place? Everything is fake

Comments

[weeatbodies]

We couldn't agree with you more, at least about the fakeness--there's just something fundamentally wrong about a place where not a single plant or animal is alive. But since Timon hasn't actually done the job he's elected himself to do....

This place is called Paixao, and it's nowhere you would know. Some other world entirely, apparently. The people do look weird, and we suppose that's the way they establish their cultural unity, so to speak--if you haven't noticed, if you disregard their clothes, they look like clones of each other, with hair and eyes the exact same color. The clothes really don't seem to matter at all.

[hypnotistsnake]

Don't Timon and I count asss animal life, or were you jussst refering to naitive animalsss?

Yesss, me and Timon need to have a heart to heart about actually doing the job that'sss causssed our ssso called mayor to have a heart attack and a half.

Welcome to Paixssao by the way, my name isss Kaa.

[cowardly_hero]

What do you mean 'a heart to heart talk'? I'm doing my job perfectly here. It ain't my fault the mayor's all worked up over every little thing.

[hypnotistsnake]

Since you've been ssso busssy eating, sssleeping and chewing out the mayor, two new people have come in asssking the sssame quessstionsss. Ignore the mayor, it doesssn't do anyone any good for you to wassste time arguing with him. Jussst possst information.

[theblind_bandit]

OK, see, this is weird. You're talking about the place I know back home, which I thought was impossible since, until now, I thought I was the only one put out of there. Are you actually a bender?

[scorching_heat]

Uhm-! uh- where's "home"?

[theblind_bandit]

Home is where I live, in a little village called Gaoling. You sound like you actually know what a "bender" is, and if you do I'll at least know you're from around where I used to live. That being said, my name is Toph, but I doubt you know who I am at all.

[scorching_heat]

I'm uh Li, my family traveled a lot before I moved into Ba Sing Se...

[cowardly_hero]

Welcome to the loathsome, gruesome, and unsightly city of Paixao. My names Timon, the current mod and soon to be mayor of this place. I'll be here to answer any questions that the know it all, job moochin' weed hasn't... Eh, let's see now what?

-Oh! There are a bunch of hotels (Actua Are) around this place that you can get yourself a room in and cafe's to fill your stomach. You can find 'em all on your map.

[scorching_heat]

I didn't get a map, all I got was this... thing and some weird scrolls about the city's highlights.

Besides, I don't need a hotel, I just need to get back where I was.

[cowardly_hero]

They call it a 'journal'. Human technology, the one thing they got going for them. You can use this little guy to talk to anybody in the city. There's a map on it too if you just push the button on the side...

I like the way you think. Now if you can actually find a way outta this place, I'll be impressed. Yeah see, we're all stuck here. The big guy in charge of this ain't lettin' anybody leave so if I were you I'd start unpackin' and gettin' as settled in as possible.

[scorching_heat]

I guess you could call this a journal...

[isaacmustdie]

Of course there isn't any cultural unity. WE'RE ALL FROM DIFFERENT PLACES.

Haven't you figured that out YET?

[scorching_heat]

How would you expect I divine that without asking questions?

It's not like I look around at a bunch of golden-haired weirdos and think of that.

[weeatbodies]

The "golden-haired weirdos" are the natives. They're idiots; you might as well not bother with them. It's everyone who doesn't come from here originally that's worth talking to.

[isaacmustdie]

Well, sure, most of the golden-haired types belong to the same culture. They're from HERE, for crying out loud. But when you said "weird hair", I presumed you meant the wide variety of styles we "foreigners" (as the locals say) have-- owing to being of different species, cultures, and so forth.

[notaconvert]

So... cultural identity through clothing color. That's an interesting new twist. Does green and black signify rampant heroism, a lot of heavy weaponry and an affinity with alien devices? Beccause that's what my team generally wears, and I would say that description best describes us.

Also, if elemental and cultural identity are described through clothing color on your planet, do you have a color that might represent unimaginable wealth? I figure perhaps gold, but I realize that might be cliche. Purple, perhaps? What about fabric? Is silk wealthy, or do you have something better?

[scorching_heat]

Wealth isn't an element, but spider-worm silk was always the cloth of choice for those who could afford it.

and war heroes are traditionally rewarded with Platypus-Bear leathers.

[hypnotistsnake]

What prey tell, isss a Platypussss-Bear?

[scorching_heat]

you know like if you mixed an Armadillo-Bear with a Platypus-Wolf...