sister: do you wanna go to bed?
dad: huh?
sister: do you want to go to bed?
dad: why?
sister: just wondering.
dad: how much?


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1.)

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i wonder how many times i can listen to this Locomotive To The Groin album.

reasons to smoke

1. people that smoke obviously don't care about their health/appearance. let them smoke.
2. smoking makes you look cool.
3. smoke smells really good.
4. THEY DON'T PUT DDT IN CIGARETTES. DDT IS ILLEGAL IN THE UNITED STATES ( Read more... )

dad: do you want anything from trader joe's? like jerky?
me: yeah.

[all except me go to costco]

mom: awww. i forgot to get your jerky
me: oh, dang.

[i go back inside]
[then i got back outside]

dad: mom forgot your jerky.

and it's not even like they're that old. they're like, 40, give or take a few years.

me: dude. i want some donuts.
dad: do you want me to go get some?
me: yeah.
dad: what kind do you want?
me: chocolate sticks.
dad: ok.

[dad goes to donut store]

dad: man. they were LOADED with maple sticks.
me: ...

( the houdini )

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