Of the blend of feminine and masculine in slash
When reading about “feminized” male characters in “From Slash to the Mainstream: Female Writers and Gender Blending Men,” an article by Elizabeth Woledge, I suddenly realized that my attitude had changed. Some time ago the term “feminized” made my hackles rise; now I didn’t even stop to consider it.
“Feminizing” used to annoy me because it, I felt, implied that there were traits that are feminine in nature, and I really dislike that kind of thinking. It creates a divide between feminine and unfeminine, forcing a woman to choose to play a role (or try and fail) or reject it and, consequently, be rejected as a woman. My annoyance rose from a long personal battle with that: in other words, it was an issue for me. Now it seems that it’s not anymore. Now I think more along the lines of “feminized” referring to stereotypical feminine traits, and that a “feminized” man is a male character who has stereotypically feminine features.
The article “Female Writers and Gender Blending Men” articulates interestingly how feminizing male characters works in fiction (slash fics and mainstream fiction): the characters are depicted as having both feminine and masculine characteristics, and the characters’ relationship is like that too. Woledge says, “-- this intimacy between two men is more characteristic of the values we associate with female friendship --. -- all slash fiction and mainstream texts, both sexual and nonsexual, considered here depict interaction between men which is feminine rather than masculine in style.”
I think this is interesting and I like it, but I also had a sort of a snarky little voice inside my head that piped up when I was reading. That voice thought it was very suspicious that women want to write about men and yet about men who have feminine characteristics, and whose relationships and interaction is feminine rather than masculine. That voice reminded me of a fic I read a while ago and that had this hilarious line in it:
“He was the kind of boy who was always getting mistaken for a girl, which had bothered him more before he'd discovered that this didn't necessarily make him less attractive to actual girls. What this said about actual girls was something he had a theory about --.” (here)
The character never elaborated but I suspect that he wanted to claim that all girls are bisexual. In this occasion, my inner voice wanted to claim that too -- that women write slash because they would like to take their own close relationships further, but something is stopping them, be it fear or outside pressure or denial, and so they write about them switching the characters’ gender, so that they wouldn’t have to acknowledge what they’re doing.
That was my initial reaction. What came after that was curiosity: why are stories gender blending like that, actually? Would the ideal person be a woman in a man’s body, or a mix of masculine and feminine qualities? Or do women want to be like that themselves -- achieve a balance between their masculine and feminine sides and be accepted the way they are?
I like questions, and I like coming up with new things to consider and to ask, which is why it’s almost a shame to answer any of them; nevertheless, the last question made me give an unexpected answer. I said before that I dislike the kind of thinking that there are feminine and masculine personality traits: it feels confining and worrying, that people might have expectations of me based on my gender, and that they would offer me possibilities and challenges according to their own expectations instead of what I’m really like. In consequence, I’m constantly thinking about what I can do and how I can act, and I deliberately avoid stereotypically feminine behaviour. I know that it’s just as confining as trying to follow a predetermined role but I can’t help it. It’s like trying to constantly remind people that they can’t predict what I can do and what I like and what sort of a person I am, and I feel like one slip would bring the whole thing down, and they would go, “Ha! She was a typical woman after all!” and it all would have been in vain.
It’s exhausting to be constantly watching and regulating myself. It’s exhausting to think that all people, from strangers to family and friends, would deem me a certain type if I stop. Intellectually, I think I would love to know that I can be feminine (as it is defined in this context) without losing my “cred” -- to be vulnerable like that in front of another person without that changing their view of me, show another side of me without them thinking that’s all I am, and be loved as a whole. In that light, it doesn’t seem so strange that I would love to read about masculine male characters who have feminine traits and a relationship in which they’re received with understanding and love.
“Feminizing” used to annoy me because it, I felt, implied that there were traits that are feminine in nature, and I really dislike that kind of thinking. It creates a divide between feminine and unfeminine, forcing a woman to choose to play a role (or try and fail) or reject it and, consequently, be rejected as a woman. My annoyance rose from a long personal battle with that: in other words, it was an issue for me. Now it seems that it’s not anymore. Now I think more along the lines of “feminized” referring to stereotypical feminine traits, and that a “feminized” man is a male character who has stereotypically feminine features.
The article “Female Writers and Gender Blending Men” articulates interestingly how feminizing male characters works in fiction (slash fics and mainstream fiction): the characters are depicted as having both feminine and masculine characteristics, and the characters’ relationship is like that too. Woledge says, “-- this intimacy between two men is more characteristic of the values we associate with female friendship --. -- all slash fiction and mainstream texts, both sexual and nonsexual, considered here depict interaction between men which is feminine rather than masculine in style.”
I think this is interesting and I like it, but I also had a sort of a snarky little voice inside my head that piped up when I was reading. That voice thought it was very suspicious that women want to write about men and yet about men who have feminine characteristics, and whose relationships and interaction is feminine rather than masculine. That voice reminded me of a fic I read a while ago and that had this hilarious line in it:
“He was the kind of boy who was always getting mistaken for a girl, which had bothered him more before he'd discovered that this didn't necessarily make him less attractive to actual girls. What this said about actual girls was something he had a theory about --.” (here)
The character never elaborated but I suspect that he wanted to claim that all girls are bisexual. In this occasion, my inner voice wanted to claim that too -- that women write slash because they would like to take their own close relationships further, but something is stopping them, be it fear or outside pressure or denial, and so they write about them switching the characters’ gender, so that they wouldn’t have to acknowledge what they’re doing.
That was my initial reaction. What came after that was curiosity: why are stories gender blending like that, actually? Would the ideal person be a woman in a man’s body, or a mix of masculine and feminine qualities? Or do women want to be like that themselves -- achieve a balance between their masculine and feminine sides and be accepted the way they are?
I like questions, and I like coming up with new things to consider and to ask, which is why it’s almost a shame to answer any of them; nevertheless, the last question made me give an unexpected answer. I said before that I dislike the kind of thinking that there are feminine and masculine personality traits: it feels confining and worrying, that people might have expectations of me based on my gender, and that they would offer me possibilities and challenges according to their own expectations instead of what I’m really like. In consequence, I’m constantly thinking about what I can do and how I can act, and I deliberately avoid stereotypically feminine behaviour. I know that it’s just as confining as trying to follow a predetermined role but I can’t help it. It’s like trying to constantly remind people that they can’t predict what I can do and what I like and what sort of a person I am, and I feel like one slip would bring the whole thing down, and they would go, “Ha! She was a typical woman after all!” and it all would have been in vain.
It’s exhausting to be constantly watching and regulating myself. It’s exhausting to think that all people, from strangers to family and friends, would deem me a certain type if I stop. Intellectually, I think I would love to know that I can be feminine (as it is defined in this context) without losing my “cred” -- to be vulnerable like that in front of another person without that changing their view of me, show another side of me without them thinking that’s all I am, and be loved as a whole. In that light, it doesn’t seem so strange that I would love to read about masculine male characters who have feminine traits and a relationship in which they’re received with understanding and love.