Comments | oxoniensis: Friday Night Lights ficlet: renewed in the spirit of your minds

oxoniensis

Friday Night Lights ficlet: renewed in the spirit of your minds

Oct 11, 2007 22:48

renewed in the spirit of your minds [Friday Night Lights, Lyla, Eric, Tami, gen/het, PG-13, 755 words, spoilers for 2x01.]

( He's gonna save her, oh yes He is. Save her from her sins and their sins and save her from the world. )

fandom: friday night lights, fiction: friday night lights, fiction

Comments 19

innie_darling October 11 2007, 22:23:05 UTC

That is a really smart pairing, either way - one girl with the weight of her whole life pressing her down and another girl newly born, waiting for life to start. Or two people calling on God to help them do what they feel they can't on their own. Beautiful!

oxoniensis October 11 2007, 23:04:47 UTC

Thank you so much! I had in mind the latter actually, but I love the thought of the contrast of the first. It was actually going to be a longer story, but somehow it wanted to stop here, so I let it. *g*

rachel_wilder October 11 2007, 22:39:25 UTC

Wonderful vignette. I love how you've painted this characters with your words, their thoughts...really nicely developed images.

oxoniensis October 11 2007, 23:05:39 UTC

Thank you so much - I tried to just let the confusion of thoughts come out on the page, so I'm really glad it worked for you.

(The comment has been removed)

oxoniensis October 11 2007, 23:06:00 UTC

Thank you! :-)

musesfool October 11 2007, 22:49:59 UTC

Oh, that's so lovely and heartbreaking.

oxoniensis October 11 2007, 23:06:39 UTC

Thank you so much!

devilc October 11 2007, 23:21:23 UTC

Grrrl,

You are reading my mind about what's going on with Lyla! I loved how you used word choice and sentance structure to really convey that whole jumbled desperation she's going through. Her world is spinning away and she's latching on to the one thing that promises to make it all perfect.

(And oh, how she's going to crash.)

As for Coach?

Oh the resigned heavyheartedness mixed with hope. He has no easy choices.

oxoniensis October 12 2007, 00:02:14 UTC

You just made me incredibly happy, because yes, that's exactly what I was wanting to convey with the mess of the sentences and tumbling thoughts. I feel so sad for her, because you feel she's grasping at something that will feel good and won't let her down, and she's hoping it will make everything better...

And argh, the situation with Eric and Tami is so sad, because you see it all the time, and such a struggle it is to keep going like that.