Friday Night Lights ficlet: renewed in the spirit of your minds
renewed in the spirit of your minds [Friday Night Lights, Lyla, Eric, Tami, gen/het, PG-13, 755 words, spoilers for 2x01.]
renewed in the spirit of your minds
and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:23-24
Dip down and down, under running water, broad flat hand under the small of her back, holding her steady because eyes closed and it's easy to lose her balance unsteady on the river bed, and up again, exploding up into the air and she's baptized.
She's born again, the new Lyla Garrity, and she feels high, giddy-good full of wonder from all the smiles, proud smiles on righteous faces. Bursts up out of the water and she could fly away like a dove. Pure and new, and Jesus loves her and she loves everyone, sweet pure love, even her daddy, forgiveness pouring out of her like the water trickling down her body.
Perfect girl, la-la-la, pompoms and cheers and the town's favorite boy hanging off her arm, worthless meaningless, slutty girl, faithless girl, bare breasted sinning and fornicating and that's not Lyla anymore, none of that's her anymore because she's found God and He's gonna save her, oh yes He is. Save her from her sins and their sins and save her from the world.
Because God is love, sweet pure love, and she's been reborn and she should be love now too, in His image.
But there's a knot of sin inside her, big black knot and Lyla Garrity is not love. God is love but the perfect little Miss Garrity is hate and bitterness and she wants to hurt her father and punch the smugness out of Tim Riggins' face and beat up that little tattooing bitch who stole Jason from her.
She's got sin inside her and sin stains all over her and they don't wash away easy like the taste of Tim Riggins, and no onetime dip in a rushing river is enough to clean off all that sin.
Down on her knees, pressing her bare thin-skinned knees into the carpet, she prays. She prays for faith that everything will work out right, her family will heal, but she's not sure how that's gonna happen - sins done can't be undone after all, and her daddy's a sinner and her mama too. She prays for patience, but maybe God's not listening or maybe He wants to make her work for that one or something because she wakes up each morning and it's no easier to wait on Him. She prays for peace, but that doesn't come either.
So she holds her head high and maybe if she smiles perfect girl smiles all day and prays each night He'll take pity on her in the end and He'll give her peace and help her love and He'll clean out that sin because He can do anything.
*
He talks to her endlessly, nonsense words and new plays and silly secrets, gotta make sure she'll remember her daddy's voice in all the months he'll be away. He wraps her up in soft warm words like a quilt, and he's not sure if the comfort is more for Grace or for him. He breathes in her powdery baby scent, brushes back her fine hair and kisses her soft plump cheeks and tries to make perfect memories.
"Sugar," he calls her, and he's half hopin' Tami'll look around like old times, like she always did even if he was just asking for sugar in his coffee, that smile in her eyes that said she knew exactly what he meant but she'd turned around anyway. She doesn't look, stays standing back rigid and helpless in the kitchen, and he's not sure what he can do to make this right.
Grace murmurs, a sleepy burpy noise, little bubbles of unhappy sound, and Tami's there in an instant.
"She's hungry," she says, and he hadn't recognized the sound, out of practice or something and he feels like he's just neglected his little girl, holding her in his arms and not even knowing she was hungry. She latches onto Tami's breast straight away and he can't watch, too intimate and he's not invited, and he doesn't know how to tell Tami how precious she is to him when he's about to leave them. He doesn't want to make her cry again.
He can't breathe on the plane, tug of home a physical pain. Dillon dies away behind him and he wonders what goddamn crazy idea it was to think he could do this and he wishes he could just jump out the window and fall back to them.
Leans back and closes his eyes and he prays, for his girls, for his family, and he's just gotta hope God's listening.
//
Looking to fill in the last few hours before new Supernatural? I have eight spn_remix recs here, over on spnroundtable - mostly slash, a bit of het and gen.
renewed in the spirit of your minds
and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:23-24
Dip down and down, under running water, broad flat hand under the small of her back, holding her steady because eyes closed and it's easy to lose her balance unsteady on the river bed, and up again, exploding up into the air and she's baptized.
She's born again, the new Lyla Garrity, and she feels high, giddy-good full of wonder from all the smiles, proud smiles on righteous faces. Bursts up out of the water and she could fly away like a dove. Pure and new, and Jesus loves her and she loves everyone, sweet pure love, even her daddy, forgiveness pouring out of her like the water trickling down her body.
Perfect girl, la-la-la, pompoms and cheers and the town's favorite boy hanging off her arm, worthless meaningless, slutty girl, faithless girl, bare breasted sinning and fornicating and that's not Lyla anymore, none of that's her anymore because she's found God and He's gonna save her, oh yes He is. Save her from her sins and their sins and save her from the world.
Because God is love, sweet pure love, and she's been reborn and she should be love now too, in His image.
But there's a knot of sin inside her, big black knot and Lyla Garrity is not love. God is love but the perfect little Miss Garrity is hate and bitterness and she wants to hurt her father and punch the smugness out of Tim Riggins' face and beat up that little tattooing bitch who stole Jason from her.
She's got sin inside her and sin stains all over her and they don't wash away easy like the taste of Tim Riggins, and no onetime dip in a rushing river is enough to clean off all that sin.
Down on her knees, pressing her bare thin-skinned knees into the carpet, she prays. She prays for faith that everything will work out right, her family will heal, but she's not sure how that's gonna happen - sins done can't be undone after all, and her daddy's a sinner and her mama too. She prays for patience, but maybe God's not listening or maybe He wants to make her work for that one or something because she wakes up each morning and it's no easier to wait on Him. She prays for peace, but that doesn't come either.
So she holds her head high and maybe if she smiles perfect girl smiles all day and prays each night He'll take pity on her in the end and He'll give her peace and help her love and He'll clean out that sin because He can do anything.
*
He talks to her endlessly, nonsense words and new plays and silly secrets, gotta make sure she'll remember her daddy's voice in all the months he'll be away. He wraps her up in soft warm words like a quilt, and he's not sure if the comfort is more for Grace or for him. He breathes in her powdery baby scent, brushes back her fine hair and kisses her soft plump cheeks and tries to make perfect memories.
"Sugar," he calls her, and he's half hopin' Tami'll look around like old times, like she always did even if he was just asking for sugar in his coffee, that smile in her eyes that said she knew exactly what he meant but she'd turned around anyway. She doesn't look, stays standing back rigid and helpless in the kitchen, and he's not sure what he can do to make this right.
Grace murmurs, a sleepy burpy noise, little bubbles of unhappy sound, and Tami's there in an instant.
"She's hungry," she says, and he hadn't recognized the sound, out of practice or something and he feels like he's just neglected his little girl, holding her in his arms and not even knowing she was hungry. She latches onto Tami's breast straight away and he can't watch, too intimate and he's not invited, and he doesn't know how to tell Tami how precious she is to him when he's about to leave them. He doesn't want to make her cry again.
He can't breathe on the plane, tug of home a physical pain. Dillon dies away behind him and he wonders what goddamn crazy idea it was to think he could do this and he wishes he could just jump out the window and fall back to them.
Leans back and closes his eyes and he prays, for his girls, for his family, and he's just gotta hope God's listening.
//
Looking to fill in the last few hours before new Supernatural? I have eight spn_remix recs here, over on spnroundtable - mostly slash, a bit of het and gen.