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It's been a while.
Here we go again. Live journal: the place I retreat to in fits of angst and rolling waves of sadness. I feel like the lone member of a once populated town. A solider stationed, guarding what once was. All that's left is a house built of electronic pages of bullshit sadness and insecurity on a thin foundation of time passed ( Read more... ) -
depression.
I'm 100% sure I'm depressed ( Read more... ) -
Mom
Since the end of March when she got sick for the last time, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to say. I can write anthologies about heart break, but faced with the seriously devastating, I have resorted to delusion, then distraction. I am now ready to challenge the trajectory of the last few months with counterbalanced strength. I'm ready to ( Read more... ) -
Lo-Fang Confusing Happiness
I had to break the code... go mad ( Read more... ) -
Best Coast
I want to be somebody else.
Sick of myself and how I feel.
Don't recognize who I see in the morning.
Used to be so clear.
And now I'm waking up to strangers with their shadows on my face.
So quickly I remember what it felt like to be in this place... -
sometimes good girls do bad things.
Halloween. I rushed home from class and threw off my heels, lit candles and tidied up. I fixed my hair and make up and made a gin and tonic. Then Alex and Scott were here. We drank beers and chatted skiing and my dad's photographs on the walls. A picture with Alisa. Music he likes. Chugged our drinks and headed out. Boys were drunk running ahead to ( Read more... ) -
First One Night Stand 10/17/13
On Thursday I got outta teaching and met up with some fellow grad students...our professor offered to take us drinking, but he and some of the older grad students were done before I was done teaching. So I met up with them when I finished teaching, and there were only a few classmates left ( Read more... ) -
30 Days (I need your help!)
Today marks one month until I go back to Santa Cruz. There are a number of things I would still like to do with my remaining time at home, however working and carlessness don't make all these things easy. So from now until I move I am going to do one productive thing per day, however large or small, until my move date so that I have no remaining ( Read more... ) -
flashing lights. bright white. tear streaked face. cold stone sleeping place.
Everything you've known.
Everything you've seen.
Everything you've loved.
Everything you've been
And everywhere you walk
Every song you sing
Everytime you wake
it haunts you once again.
Joshua James - FM Radio -
Bayside - Tortures of the Damned
I hate myself more than I ever let on ( Read more... )