(J2/CW RPS AU fic) "Never Looked the Same" 2/2
Never Looked the Same 2/2
Jared/Jensen, CWRPS AU
NC-17, 12,900~ words (in two parts)
(Names are in no way associated with the real people.)
In which Jensen is a writer. He had a crush on Jared Padalecki when he was Jared's TA. Jared Padalecki is a Hollywood actor. He doesn't remember Jensen. That's okay, Jensen doesn't have a crush on him anymore and he can lie like a pro. He writes fiction, for god's sakes! This is gonna be easy.
When Jensen peers out into the driveway to look for Jared, he bursts out laughing.
Jared puts his hands on his hips and glares at him as soon as Jensen hits the lower ground, still laughing. But his eyes are twinkling, and he leans on the limousine, crossing his arms as he waits for Jensen to come down or die laughing, whichever comes first.
"My prom date actually splurged on the ride," Jensen teases as he draws closer. "Shouldn't I be getting a corsage right about now?"
"It's network-sponsored," Jared admits sheepishly, but he laughs. "Good thing they did because I wondered what kind of hotshot actor picks his date up without a limousine. You should be impressed!"
Jensen presses a kiss, lands at the side of his mouth. He runs a hand over Jared's chest, stroking Jared's arm as he pulls away. "I'm impressed," he whispers, making it clear it's not the only thing he's impressed with.
Jared swallows. "Good. Let's...yeah." He waves at the driver-a large, buff man who is decidedly looking elsewhere-and they get in.
As soon as the door closes, Jared tugs him closer until Jensen is practically sitting on his lap, and gives him a proper kiss-hand cupping Jensen's face, an arm around his waist to draw him closer. They make out for a while, soft and unhurried until Jensen slowly pulls away, eyes closed and a small smile tugging at his lips. "That was nice," he says faintly.
"I know you might think this is too soon," Jared confesses. "I usually wait a few days before I ask someone out again, but last night was..." He trails off, clears his throat. "Last night was good. Even if it didn't end the way I actually wanted." His eyes are dark as he says it.
"We can change that." Jensen shifts closer. His mind is short-circuiting at the way Jared strokes his back, and he keeps thinking, I'm not that nerdy guy Jared knew in college. Who the fuck am I? Because it's all good, and Jensen can see that Jared is seriously into this.
Jared's eyes lower to gaze at his mouth, but he seemingly shakes his head and draws away. "Got to get through this night first," he groans. "So, listen, the network party doesn't only have the cast from my show. All of my friends in the network know I'm dating someone non-business-someone who's not in the show business-so, you know, they can be kind of crazy, too."
"Ah." Jensen starts getting nervous. "Do I have to remember something? Anything?"
"Just be yourself." Jared kisses him, then frowns. "Well, okay, my manager is kind of crazy and stuff, and he has no brain-mouth filter. And his brain is a very scary place to be, so...I try not to go there."
"He's not some sleazy guy threatening to blackmail you, right?"
"Nah. He's also my best friend, so I lucked out-he's a cool guy. He's also scarily good at his job-he handles other people, not only me, but he's kind of honest about what he thinks? It's helped him a lot doing his job in LA. He flew in today, and we're going to meet with some of the producers later." Jared grins. "But don't worry, I won't leave you alone. Got to protect you from the sleazy underworld of Hollywood."
"My hero." Jensen laughs.
--
The limousine drops them off at a ritzy hotel, which makes Jensen nervous. He recognizes some of the actors and directors, some of them from Jared's show, but mostly Jensen only know in passing by reading the newspaper every day.
Jared introduces him to some of the members of the cast, around three of them already gathered by a table. "Hey, guys," he greets once they're within earshot. "This is Dean. Dean, these are my friends: Malik, Genevieve, Katie. Vin Diesel's around here somewhere..."
"Saw some pretty boy dressed in a pretty dress, and you know how Diesel gets," the brunette mentions. "Hi, I'm Genevieve."
"Hi," Jensen says, shaking her hand. He doesn't recognize Genevieve from the show, but he supposes she might be one of the characters he missed.
Genevieve must have read his mind; she smirks and says, "I'm one of the writers. Apparently, writers can go to one of these parties. Lucky me, huh?"
"That's because you're dating one of the producers," the other girl-who must be Katie-puts in. "Jared, he doesn't watch the show?"
"Not a lot," Jensen admits. "I'm one of those people who can't keep up with TV unless it's the History channel or the news."
"I like him already," Malik approves. "Grab some drinks, Dean. Jared can't stop talking about you. Every break from filming, he keeps telling us about this guy he met in the neighborhood he moved into."
"I do not!" Jared protests, blushing. "At least, not every break. Do I?"
Jensen grins at his embarrassed look. "I don't mind, but I think your friends do," he tells him.
"So, Dean," Genevieve says, leaning forward, "you say you write?"
"Poetry, songs, some short stories," Jensen says. Her piercing eyes make him want to squirm, but he forces himself to relax in Jared's arms. "I've published some books, but I make more profit from song-writing."
"Wait, Dean, as in Dean Smith?" Genevieve's eyes lighten and she leans forward excitedly. "Are you Dean Smith?"
Alarmed, Jensen turns to Jared, who's frowning, and Jensen shrugs.
Genevieve squeals. "I love your work! I read Lamentations of Hay Garden last year when it came out, I thought it was brilliant. Genuinely horrifying shit. Fucking awesome writing. Can I have your autograph?"
"Uh..." Jensen looks at Jared helplessly. "M-maybe-"
"Genevieve," Jared warns.
"Girl, remember what we talked about?" Katie teases, laying a hand on Genevieve's arm. "No fangirling in parties."
"I thought that only applies to fangirling actors and directors?" Malik wonders.
Genevieve pouts, but she points at Jensen. "Later, man, maybe I can talk to you? I want to pick that brains of yours apart. Blood, gore, everything."
"Thank you for that fairly graphic description that I will carry in my head," Jared groans. "Quick, Katie, change the topic!"
"Did anyone get the name of the boy Diesel was chasing after?" Katie asks obediently.
Despite the surprise fangirl, Jensen manages to relax. He and Genevieve hit it off, and before long everyone starts discussing horror films. Genevieve has apparently worked for some science fiction scripts a few years back, but found herself getting drawn to cop shows. "It has real-life horror," she tells Jensen, who nods.
Later, Jared excuses both of them, and the group breaks up so they can mingle.
"I thought you use a pseudonym when you publish your works," Jared asks Jensen in a low tone.
Jensen nods. "Yeah, I do."
"But you publish under Dean Smith?" Jared asks. "Do you mean that's your pseudonym?"
Jensen's heart starts to pound. He starts to reply, but he's interrupted by one of the directors from Jared's show, who quickly strikes up a conversation about the upcoming Christmas hiatus. Apparently, Jensen learns, Jared is in her Christmas cards list-not an easy list to get into.
More and more people come up to them, and Jensen learns that, despite the reputation of the industry, everyone genuinely likes Jared. They heap praise for Jared's enthusiasm, and how he always takes the time to get to know even the lowliest writer, down to the PA who organizes his meetings. Jared only blushes, but he grins to show how proud he is of the people he worked with. So far, it's shaping up to be a great night.
Of course, it probably isn't going to last.
Jared catches the eye of someone by the bar, and he whispers to Jensen, "C'mon, I'm going to introduce you to my manager."
"Your best friend who has no brain-mouth filter?"
"That's the one!" Jared says cheerfully, and they near a blond guy, who squints as they approach. Jensen feels his heart starting to pound, and he tries to pull away. "Jared, Jared, I don't think-"
But it's too late. Jared puts his arm around Jensen, and makes him face the guy. "Hey, Dean, this is my manager, Chad Murray. Chad, this is-"
"Jensen! Jensen Ackles!" Chad interrupts, shooting Jared a questioning glance. "What a cool coincidence!" The tone in his voice is anything but, and there is confusion in his eyes.
Jensen is frozen in his spot, and he can see how Jared starts to connect the dots. "But your name is Dean Smith," he says slowly.
"No, he's Jensen Ackles," Chad puts in, bewildered. "I'd recognize those cock-sucking lips everywhere!"
Jesus Christ, the man is clearly insane, and Jensen should have known that when Jared said he went to LA with his best friend and that his manager is his best friend, they would be one and the same. He never counted on ever seeing Chad again.
"Nice to meet you, Chad," Jensen manages to say faintly.
"Hey, Jen, did you ever manage to get the beer stain out of the ceiling? Also, I still say it was all Mike's fault. I was even using a cup like you demanded!"
"Chad, can you excuse us for a minute? Jensen and I need to talk," Jared says tightly.
Chad blinks. "But Sravejo is asking about you, man. I got the itinerary for that summer project you wanted-"
"Chad," Jared barks, and Jensen jerks in his grip. "Just a minute. Please."
Chad holds up his hands. "Okay, but Sravejo waits for no actor, you know that! Nice meeting you again, Jensen. Do you still talk to Chris and Steve?"
"Chad!"
"Later, dudes!" Chad walks away with a jaunty wave.
They stand there awkwardly for a moment, not looking at each other. But Jensen can feel Jared's hold on his wrist tighten, more and more until Jensen can't help wincing. At the sound of his voice, Jared immediately drops his hold. His voice shakes with anger, saying, "What the fuck. Seriously, Dean. What the fuck?!"
"I was going to tell you," Jensen says quietly, then he realizes they're still in the middle of a party, with some people including journalists and photographers looking at them curiously. "Jared, please, let's do this privately."
Jared looks around, and some of the anger in his eyes fades. He nods, and he leads them through a series of rooms until they find themselves in an empty function hall.
As soon as Jensen closes the door, Jared starts pacing, running a hand through his hair. "Jesus, was this some kind of joke to you? A trick? Jesus, I fucking believed-" He stops.
"Jared," Jensen begs, trying to grab his hand, but Jared only draws away. "There's no-I wasn't trying to do anything. And I wanted to tell you so many times-"
"Then why didn't you?!" Jared explodes.
"Everything was going so well, and I didn't even plan for this charade to go on for so long." At Jared's stormy glare, Jensen spreads his arms. "Did you think it was actually fun for me?!"
"I don't know, Jensen, you tell me!"
"You didn't even remember who I am!" Jensen shouts. "You waltzed in that goddamn coffee shop and looked at me like I'm some new person you just met on the street-"
"You were just some person I met on the street!"
"I fucking blew you in a college party!" Jensen yells. "I spent half a year pining after you and then after I finally get to be with you, you run off to fucking LA!"
"So you came here to humiliate me?" Jared asks incredulously. "Is this why you're here?!"
"Grow up, Jared, it's not all about you," Jensen snaps, then sighs. "Look, obviously you didn't want me then...and that's cool, it's fine. I got over it eventually. Even helped me gain perspective and shit. And now I'm doing great-I was doing great."
"Yeah, until I came along and made you in a serial liar," Jared says bitterly.
Jensen shakes his head, turning away. Jared looks angry, but mostly he just look sad, and that's how Jensen is feeling at the moment.
"Jared-" Jensen tries to reach out, then tries not to feel hurt at the way Jared twitches away from him. "Okay. Look, I've had three years, and now I just want to apologize if I made you feel violated in any way years ago. I'm sorry I lied to you this time. It's my fault, and I obviously didn't think this through enough. I know it's not...it's not enough, and no amount of apologies are going to make it alright."
Then he takes a deep breath and looks down at his shoes. "I just thought...you know how you make up stories and you wish with everything that you have that you're everywhere but here? Man, that time three years ago, that's what I wanted, the kind of stories I made. And you know what? You ended up liking that guy Dean Smith-the one who wrote those stories, the one who ended up being happy with the dregs of Jensen Ackles' mistakes. So yeah, I didn't want you to know about my name and who I am during your past. But that's all there is. Everything else-this is me now, Jared. I'm sorry-I'm really fucking sorry for what I did. And that it's enough reason why you can't even like me now."
"Jensen," Jared says.
Jensen nods and looks away. "I'll take a cab," he announces. Jared calls him again, but Jensen is already slipping out of the room, through the throng of people, and down the elevator.
--
Jensen doesn't write for three days.
It's like that time three years ago-worrying if he overstepped some boundary with Jared, wondering if Jared will return the calls Jensen made to his dorm room. He sleeps a lot, gets up, diligently refuses to turn on the TV, and spends hours staring at his computer's blank screen.
After the third day, he starts writing: words flow into song lyrics, into poetry, into some kind of drama in his journal. His editor calls to tell him that he doesn't have to send anything in, since he has no overdue from that time he was overflowing with inspiration on-
Well, anyway, two songs are written in the span of two days, and just as Jensen has finished jotting down the lines of another poem, the doorbell rings.
Jensen takes his time opening it. The first few days, he was hoping Jared might call him, or even visit him, but there hadn't been anything. After some time, he realized that Jared probably thought this through and probably realized Jensen's not worth the trouble anyway.
So maybe he isn't expecting it's Jared when he opens, the door, but his heart still breaks a little when he sees it's Steve and Danneel.
"Hey," he says dully, throwing the door open to let them in.
Once inside, Danneel gives him a hug, then presses a warm mug into his hands. "Coffee, made by yours truly." She stares at his eyes. "Shit, he really did a number on you, didn't he?"
"You should see how he looks like," Jensen jokes, but it only falls flat.
"So," Steve says, "Danneel says the best thing to do is to eat ice-cream and watch extremely violent movies, but Chris and I vetoed it, considering that a) I don't secretly have a vagina, and b) I want-"
"-the chance to say 'I told you so', I know," Jensen finishes.
Steve's eyes soften, and he shoulder checks Jensen as they shuffle into the living room where Jensen has been camping out. "Not that," he admonishes. "Although, yeah, you knew it was gonna happen, but the guy was also a prick. I never liked him."
"Yes, you did!" Danneel exclaims. "You said he was alright. You said he was funny!"
"I also said he was a cool kid three years ago, and he still broke Jensen's heart then," Steve points out. He turns to Jensen, his voice turning gentle. "So he hasn't called."
Jensen shakes his head, laughing deprecatingly. "I guess I was the only one emotionally invested in all of this."
Steve and Danneel wince.
"Still, I understand," Jensen goes on. "I mean-LA, man! What're the odds of meeting the guy rejected there, much less have him play you-"
"You didn't play him-"
"Yeah, I did," Jensen interrupts, slouching on the couch. "I mean, he never really liked Jensen Ackles, even before. Why would he even want Dean Smith? Especially when he learns he's actually Jensen Ackles."
Danneel grabs his hand and squeezes it tight. "Sweetie, if he never wanted you, it's his loss. You're cool and amazing, whoever you are. And I can honestly say that even if I didn't know you three years ago, I would date you. If you had a vagina."
"Thanks," Jensen says, and is surprised to find that he means it.
They sit silently for a while, until Steve leans forward and announces brightly, "So, you have any ice-cream in your freezer?"
Jensen laughs, feels like he's about to cry. "Yeah. Yeah, there's still one left."
--
Steve leaves at around early evening, saying he has a gig that night. Jensen and Danneel cook dinner, talking about Jensen's new songs, the old woman customer in the coffee shop who tells Danneel she needs an extra shot every morning ever since her daughter came by to visit, and Misha's latest book acquisitions. Danneel doesn't mention Jared again, although she does let drop that Jared has visited the shop once to buy coffee and Danneel had made someone else serve him.
When Danneel finally leaves, Jensen heaves a sigh and goes back to his computer, determined to at least make a blog entry when the doorbell rings again. He looks at the corner of the room, realizes that Danneel has left her jacket, and sighs as he opens the door.
"I swear, you're going to freeze the next time-" And he stops because there's Jared, standing in his hall, looking sheepish.
They stare at each other silently until Jared clears his throat. "Hey."
"Hey." Jensen stares at him.
Jared nods, peering over his shoulder. "Can I...?" He indicates to the door, and Jensen throws it open so he can follow.
Once they enter the living room, Jensen notices how Jared regards the photographs on the walls and on his desk. He crosses his arms and lets Jared-of course, he would want to know what he missed. But it still feels a bit like being cross-sectioned, and Jensen is quick to slip into a defensive mode.
Finally, Jared shakes his head, laughing softly. "I don't know how I missed it."
Jensen has been expecting this. "Got rid of the glasses, cut my hair and let it bleach with the sun, and got more freckles. I worked out, enough that I filled out. I got a little taller, although I won't ever be as big as a Sasquatch like you. Also, I started wearing shirts instead of those goddamn button-downs."
Jared stares at him, then at the photos again. "You talk differently, too," he mentions.
"I lost my accent, but not all of it," Jensen says dismissively. "It's not a big deal."
"If you talked the way you did before, I think I might have known," Jared tells him. "Or at least figured out that something was up."
Jensen gives him a weak smile. "I'll make sure to remember that," he intones.
Jared visibly hesitates, then says, "I got a call from Chris. Actually, Chris called Mike, who called Chad, who told me that I'm a dick."
"So everyone knows about this?" Jensen gawks.
"Just Mike, and I'm trying to apologize here, so hush." Jared starts pacing, the same way he did just a few nights before. "So yeah, they think I'm a dick, and even Chad thinks I'm a dick, so I guess it's kind of a consensus."
"Chad also thinks Istanbul is just another name for Indonesia," Jensen reminds him awkwardly.
It feels weird saying that because it's something Chad told Jensen when Mike first introduced Chad to them. Jensen had been charmed-that is, he quickly escaped to his room with a blatant lie and started avoiding Chad like a plague. Saying it now, though, makes it feel like those two worlds are colliding too fast for them to keep up.
Jared looks like he's having the same epiphany, and there's another awkward moment between them before Jared goes on, "So it got me thinking, how did I even miss you're Jensen Ackles, when you're the reason I moved to LA in the first place?"
"Oh." What else is there to say about that? Jensen had entertained the thought, but he's managed to convince himself not to be that narcissistic. But now, that Jared is actually admitting it... "You moved because you wanted to, Jared, don't pin that on me."
"What? Wait, no, you don't understand. I told you..." Jared sighs. "I told you I was having personal problems that year, right?" At Jensen's nod, Jared goes on, "I had a girlfriend."
"FUck," Jensen spits out and spins around, ready to grab a drink.
But Jared grabs his hand, pulls him back. "No listen, I had a girlfriend that time. She was smart, sweet, and pretty much everything to me. And then I met Jensen Ackles-you-and you were amazing and shy and so goddamn hot, and you liked hanging out with me even when I asked the stupidest questions just so I can go to your office every week. Sandy and I were already having problems before I met you, and then I just...I realized..." He stops, looks away.
Jensen starts stroking Jared's wrist, willing him to continue. "You realized," he prompts.
"I was so fucking into you," Jared says softly. "When Sandy and I broke up, she told me she hopes that everything goes well for me, because many places in Texas still don't accept gay men as well. And I am. Gay. I maybe freaked out a little bit."
"Shit," Jensen swears. "Did she..."
Jared shakes his head. "She meant it in a good way, and I guess she was afraid for me because she could see how I was always...you were all I talked about, and even my parents were asking me if I was going to invite you during break because...and Chad. Chad was so fucking insufferable that he made me go to all the parties Tom and Mike were in because he said sometimes you went with them." He pauses. "And one night, you did. Go out with them. That was..."
"Yeah," Jensen utters, nodding.
He's told himself otherwise, but he clearly remembers how Jared had flirted, had leaned closer to make sure he can tell Jensen everything to his ear, and how Jensen had been so drunk with happiness that when Jared pulled him into the bathroom, the latch to the door had barely settled before he pushed Jared against the door, fell on his knees, and started nuzzling Jared's crotch like a whore.
Jared looks away, and Jensen immediately pulls his hand away. Finally, he clears his throat, and goes on hoarsely, "So yeah, I'm a dick. And maybe you didn't help any when you lied about being who you are, but I think I may have had some hand into it. So...you know, I'm sorry."
Jared falls silent, making Jensen fidget on his seat. Finally, he looks up to find Jared's eyeing him with some trepidation, which makes him break into a smile. "It's fine, Jared. The truth is, I got over it after a while. Can't say it wasn't easy, but time helped. Moving away also helped. I didn't go to LA because of you-I got a contract for writing songs shortly after you left so, you know, it was an opportunity.
"But when I saw you again when you again in the coffee shop, I thought I might as well-you know, get to know you more." Jensen takes a deep breath and takes the plunge. After all, if Jared doesn't want to be with Jensen the same way Jensen wants to be with him, then at least Jensen manages to clear the air. Make sure there's no more misunderstanding. "And the person you are now makes me realize that I am way more interested than I previously thought."
"So you're saying...you still like me," Jared puts in slowly.
"I got over you years ago, Jared. It's just..." Jensen shrugs and explains shyly, "I fell in love all over again."
Jared stares at him, then drops his head with a shy grin. "Y'know," he drawls in an audible Texan accent, tracing a pattern on the couch, "if this were a movie, we'd be kissing right about now."
"Yeah?" Jensen tries not to let his hopes up, but the pounding of his heart threatens to drown out silly logic. "Um...yeah, come to think of it, if it were a book, or even a short story, there would be some inane lines about the magic of conversation and getting over a conflict, so I guess-"
"Jensen," Jared says amusedly, and for a moment Jensen sees that young college boy he fell in love with lurking behind Jared's eyes, "I'm saying we can kiss."
Jensen stops, feels himself turning red. "Oh, well then, I'll just-" He leans forward.
This time, Jared meets him halfway.
--
Jensen hates mornings, but when he rolls over the next day and realizes Jared is still on his bed, he finds himself stretching lazily, observing the man next to him. Removing his contacts in the middle of the night certainly made the view blurry, but Jensen solves the problem by shifting closer.
Jared has certainly grown up beautifully with his long muscled legs and tight ass that fits right into Jensen's palms. Jensen eyes Jared's dick: thick and long, entirely proportional to the large frame, especially during the morning when. Jensen's mouth waters just thinking about it as he scoots over, remembering how it felt in his hands just last night. How Jared had moaned while Jensen jacked him off slowly, watching Jared's face. How Jensen had come just after Jared did.
He gives Jared's cock a tentative lick, smiling when Jared twitches in his sleep. Slowly, sleepily, he slinks lower, presses his face into the V of Jared's legs. Above him, Jared gives another moan, shifting over Jensen's sheets. Jensen puts a hand at the inside of Jared's thigh; it has an instantaneous effect. Jared stops, sinks back into the mattress and tangle of blankets.
Smiling, Jensen laps at Jared's dick, root to tip in one instant-earning an other moan. It makes Jensen's heart beat faster, makes him wanton with need. He sucks the tip into his mouth, sliding down-unhurriedly, leisurely-the velvet skin tickling his tongue. The blurt of precum slides paints the insides of his cheeks, over his lips. Jared moans again, but Jensen can hear the tone of awareness, the way Jared rouses as he thrusts deeper into Jensen's throat.
It makes Jensen suck harder before returning to his usual languid pace.
"Jesus," Jared moans. "Oh my g-god, Jensen."
Jensen feels Jared's eyes on him, and it makes him shyer. But he's not that guy anymore, and he's not about to let this opportunity pass, so he slides down again, brings up his hand to wrap around the base of Jared's cock where his mouth can't reach.
"Oh god," Jared pants. "Jen, Jenny-" Jared massages Jensen's head. "Yes, god, your fucking lips, should've known-oh god, should've known it was-it was you. Wanna see your eyes, can I...?"
Jensen obeys quickly, meeting Jared's eyes as he continues. The vision is blurry, but what he can make out-Jared's face as he pants and tries not to thrust too much into Jensen's mouth, the way his biceps bulge, straining to massage Jensen's head before fisting the sheets-makes him hard that he ends up humping the mattress. And when Jared gasps, "Jensen, I'm-gonna-" Jensen ignores him, sucks harder as his hand continues to jack off the base of Jared's cock until Jared cums with a shout, practically arching his back.
Jensen pulls back quickly, but not fast enough that some liquid lands in his mouth and on his jaw, spilling into his hands.
He's still licking up the stray ones that land on Jared's thighs when Jared finally comes down from his high and basks in the attention before groaning. "Get up here," he demands.
Jensen quickly complies, groaning when Jared wraps his hand over his raging hard-on. Jensen buries his face into Jared's neck, now unaccountably shy. "Like that," he pants, thrusting into the heat of Jared's fingers. "Yeah-Jared-"
"Look so beautiful," Jared whispers into his ear. "Shy, too-even now, you try to hide it but I fucking love it. Fucking love that you're so confident-fucking sexy, but still shy-when it comes to-I remember-"
"Jesus," Jensen groans into Jared's neck, spilling into his hand.
They bask in the afterglow for a few moments, and Jared starts stroking Jensen's back, the part that makes him squirmy.
"So," Jared says conversationally, his voice still hoarse from sex and sleepiness, "I know we're trying to move forward, not let our past get in the way, but. I gotta tell you. I always thought those glasses made you look hot, man. If you'd blown me after our first date, I might have figured out things sooner."
"Mmm," Jensen says, then quickly pulls back incredulously. "What...really? I got contacts because of you!"
Jared frowns. "What do you mean? I never said anything about your glasses...did I?" he goes on uncertainly.
Jensen gives him a mock punch on the arm. "I thought I looked kind of nerdy," he muttered in chagrin.
"In case you didn't know," Jared says sleepily, "I'm kind of into that thing, so lucky you."
"Hmm." Jensen thinks of that day when Jared Padalecki walks into the shop, seeing him after all those years and finally being here, in his arms. Three years ago, Jensen would never have thought of that. "Yeah," he agrees softly as Jared's arm wraps around him to pull him closer. "Lucky me."
end
--
Part 1
Jared/Jensen, CWRPS AU
NC-17, 12,900~ words (in two parts)
(Names are in no way associated with the real people.)
In which Jensen is a writer. He had a crush on Jared Padalecki when he was Jared's TA. Jared Padalecki is a Hollywood actor. He doesn't remember Jensen. That's okay, Jensen doesn't have a crush on him anymore and he can lie like a pro. He writes fiction, for god's sakes! This is gonna be easy.
When Jensen peers out into the driveway to look for Jared, he bursts out laughing.
Jared puts his hands on his hips and glares at him as soon as Jensen hits the lower ground, still laughing. But his eyes are twinkling, and he leans on the limousine, crossing his arms as he waits for Jensen to come down or die laughing, whichever comes first.
"My prom date actually splurged on the ride," Jensen teases as he draws closer. "Shouldn't I be getting a corsage right about now?"
"It's network-sponsored," Jared admits sheepishly, but he laughs. "Good thing they did because I wondered what kind of hotshot actor picks his date up without a limousine. You should be impressed!"
Jensen presses a kiss, lands at the side of his mouth. He runs a hand over Jared's chest, stroking Jared's arm as he pulls away. "I'm impressed," he whispers, making it clear it's not the only thing he's impressed with.
Jared swallows. "Good. Let's...yeah." He waves at the driver-a large, buff man who is decidedly looking elsewhere-and they get in.
As soon as the door closes, Jared tugs him closer until Jensen is practically sitting on his lap, and gives him a proper kiss-hand cupping Jensen's face, an arm around his waist to draw him closer. They make out for a while, soft and unhurried until Jensen slowly pulls away, eyes closed and a small smile tugging at his lips. "That was nice," he says faintly.
"I know you might think this is too soon," Jared confesses. "I usually wait a few days before I ask someone out again, but last night was..." He trails off, clears his throat. "Last night was good. Even if it didn't end the way I actually wanted." His eyes are dark as he says it.
"We can change that." Jensen shifts closer. His mind is short-circuiting at the way Jared strokes his back, and he keeps thinking, I'm not that nerdy guy Jared knew in college. Who the fuck am I? Because it's all good, and Jensen can see that Jared is seriously into this.
Jared's eyes lower to gaze at his mouth, but he seemingly shakes his head and draws away. "Got to get through this night first," he groans. "So, listen, the network party doesn't only have the cast from my show. All of my friends in the network know I'm dating someone non-business-someone who's not in the show business-so, you know, they can be kind of crazy, too."
"Ah." Jensen starts getting nervous. "Do I have to remember something? Anything?"
"Just be yourself." Jared kisses him, then frowns. "Well, okay, my manager is kind of crazy and stuff, and he has no brain-mouth filter. And his brain is a very scary place to be, so...I try not to go there."
"He's not some sleazy guy threatening to blackmail you, right?"
"Nah. He's also my best friend, so I lucked out-he's a cool guy. He's also scarily good at his job-he handles other people, not only me, but he's kind of honest about what he thinks? It's helped him a lot doing his job in LA. He flew in today, and we're going to meet with some of the producers later." Jared grins. "But don't worry, I won't leave you alone. Got to protect you from the sleazy underworld of Hollywood."
"My hero." Jensen laughs.
--
The limousine drops them off at a ritzy hotel, which makes Jensen nervous. He recognizes some of the actors and directors, some of them from Jared's show, but mostly Jensen only know in passing by reading the newspaper every day.
Jared introduces him to some of the members of the cast, around three of them already gathered by a table. "Hey, guys," he greets once they're within earshot. "This is Dean. Dean, these are my friends: Malik, Genevieve, Katie. Vin Diesel's around here somewhere..."
"Saw some pretty boy dressed in a pretty dress, and you know how Diesel gets," the brunette mentions. "Hi, I'm Genevieve."
"Hi," Jensen says, shaking her hand. He doesn't recognize Genevieve from the show, but he supposes she might be one of the characters he missed.
Genevieve must have read his mind; she smirks and says, "I'm one of the writers. Apparently, writers can go to one of these parties. Lucky me, huh?"
"That's because you're dating one of the producers," the other girl-who must be Katie-puts in. "Jared, he doesn't watch the show?"
"Not a lot," Jensen admits. "I'm one of those people who can't keep up with TV unless it's the History channel or the news."
"I like him already," Malik approves. "Grab some drinks, Dean. Jared can't stop talking about you. Every break from filming, he keeps telling us about this guy he met in the neighborhood he moved into."
"I do not!" Jared protests, blushing. "At least, not every break. Do I?"
Jensen grins at his embarrassed look. "I don't mind, but I think your friends do," he tells him.
"So, Dean," Genevieve says, leaning forward, "you say you write?"
"Poetry, songs, some short stories," Jensen says. Her piercing eyes make him want to squirm, but he forces himself to relax in Jared's arms. "I've published some books, but I make more profit from song-writing."
"Wait, Dean, as in Dean Smith?" Genevieve's eyes lighten and she leans forward excitedly. "Are you Dean Smith?"
Alarmed, Jensen turns to Jared, who's frowning, and Jensen shrugs.
Genevieve squeals. "I love your work! I read Lamentations of Hay Garden last year when it came out, I thought it was brilliant. Genuinely horrifying shit. Fucking awesome writing. Can I have your autograph?"
"Uh..." Jensen looks at Jared helplessly. "M-maybe-"
"Genevieve," Jared warns.
"Girl, remember what we talked about?" Katie teases, laying a hand on Genevieve's arm. "No fangirling in parties."
"I thought that only applies to fangirling actors and directors?" Malik wonders.
Genevieve pouts, but she points at Jensen. "Later, man, maybe I can talk to you? I want to pick that brains of yours apart. Blood, gore, everything."
"Thank you for that fairly graphic description that I will carry in my head," Jared groans. "Quick, Katie, change the topic!"
"Did anyone get the name of the boy Diesel was chasing after?" Katie asks obediently.
Despite the surprise fangirl, Jensen manages to relax. He and Genevieve hit it off, and before long everyone starts discussing horror films. Genevieve has apparently worked for some science fiction scripts a few years back, but found herself getting drawn to cop shows. "It has real-life horror," she tells Jensen, who nods.
Later, Jared excuses both of them, and the group breaks up so they can mingle.
"I thought you use a pseudonym when you publish your works," Jared asks Jensen in a low tone.
Jensen nods. "Yeah, I do."
"But you publish under Dean Smith?" Jared asks. "Do you mean that's your pseudonym?"
Jensen's heart starts to pound. He starts to reply, but he's interrupted by one of the directors from Jared's show, who quickly strikes up a conversation about the upcoming Christmas hiatus. Apparently, Jensen learns, Jared is in her Christmas cards list-not an easy list to get into.
More and more people come up to them, and Jensen learns that, despite the reputation of the industry, everyone genuinely likes Jared. They heap praise for Jared's enthusiasm, and how he always takes the time to get to know even the lowliest writer, down to the PA who organizes his meetings. Jared only blushes, but he grins to show how proud he is of the people he worked with. So far, it's shaping up to be a great night.
Of course, it probably isn't going to last.
Jared catches the eye of someone by the bar, and he whispers to Jensen, "C'mon, I'm going to introduce you to my manager."
"Your best friend who has no brain-mouth filter?"
"That's the one!" Jared says cheerfully, and they near a blond guy, who squints as they approach. Jensen feels his heart starting to pound, and he tries to pull away. "Jared, Jared, I don't think-"
But it's too late. Jared puts his arm around Jensen, and makes him face the guy. "Hey, Dean, this is my manager, Chad Murray. Chad, this is-"
"Jensen! Jensen Ackles!" Chad interrupts, shooting Jared a questioning glance. "What a cool coincidence!" The tone in his voice is anything but, and there is confusion in his eyes.
Jensen is frozen in his spot, and he can see how Jared starts to connect the dots. "But your name is Dean Smith," he says slowly.
"No, he's Jensen Ackles," Chad puts in, bewildered. "I'd recognize those cock-sucking lips everywhere!"
Jesus Christ, the man is clearly insane, and Jensen should have known that when Jared said he went to LA with his best friend and that his manager is his best friend, they would be one and the same. He never counted on ever seeing Chad again.
"Nice to meet you, Chad," Jensen manages to say faintly.
"Hey, Jen, did you ever manage to get the beer stain out of the ceiling? Also, I still say it was all Mike's fault. I was even using a cup like you demanded!"
"Chad, can you excuse us for a minute? Jensen and I need to talk," Jared says tightly.
Chad blinks. "But Sravejo is asking about you, man. I got the itinerary for that summer project you wanted-"
"Chad," Jared barks, and Jensen jerks in his grip. "Just a minute. Please."
Chad holds up his hands. "Okay, but Sravejo waits for no actor, you know that! Nice meeting you again, Jensen. Do you still talk to Chris and Steve?"
"Chad!"
"Later, dudes!" Chad walks away with a jaunty wave.
They stand there awkwardly for a moment, not looking at each other. But Jensen can feel Jared's hold on his wrist tighten, more and more until Jensen can't help wincing. At the sound of his voice, Jared immediately drops his hold. His voice shakes with anger, saying, "What the fuck. Seriously, Dean. What the fuck?!"
"I was going to tell you," Jensen says quietly, then he realizes they're still in the middle of a party, with some people including journalists and photographers looking at them curiously. "Jared, please, let's do this privately."
Jared looks around, and some of the anger in his eyes fades. He nods, and he leads them through a series of rooms until they find themselves in an empty function hall.
As soon as Jensen closes the door, Jared starts pacing, running a hand through his hair. "Jesus, was this some kind of joke to you? A trick? Jesus, I fucking believed-" He stops.
"Jared," Jensen begs, trying to grab his hand, but Jared only draws away. "There's no-I wasn't trying to do anything. And I wanted to tell you so many times-"
"Then why didn't you?!" Jared explodes.
"Everything was going so well, and I didn't even plan for this charade to go on for so long." At Jared's stormy glare, Jensen spreads his arms. "Did you think it was actually fun for me?!"
"I don't know, Jensen, you tell me!"
"You didn't even remember who I am!" Jensen shouts. "You waltzed in that goddamn coffee shop and looked at me like I'm some new person you just met on the street-"
"You were just some person I met on the street!"
"I fucking blew you in a college party!" Jensen yells. "I spent half a year pining after you and then after I finally get to be with you, you run off to fucking LA!"
"So you came here to humiliate me?" Jared asks incredulously. "Is this why you're here?!"
"Grow up, Jared, it's not all about you," Jensen snaps, then sighs. "Look, obviously you didn't want me then...and that's cool, it's fine. I got over it eventually. Even helped me gain perspective and shit. And now I'm doing great-I was doing great."
"Yeah, until I came along and made you in a serial liar," Jared says bitterly.
Jensen shakes his head, turning away. Jared looks angry, but mostly he just look sad, and that's how Jensen is feeling at the moment.
"Jared-" Jensen tries to reach out, then tries not to feel hurt at the way Jared twitches away from him. "Okay. Look, I've had three years, and now I just want to apologize if I made you feel violated in any way years ago. I'm sorry I lied to you this time. It's my fault, and I obviously didn't think this through enough. I know it's not...it's not enough, and no amount of apologies are going to make it alright."
Then he takes a deep breath and looks down at his shoes. "I just thought...you know how you make up stories and you wish with everything that you have that you're everywhere but here? Man, that time three years ago, that's what I wanted, the kind of stories I made. And you know what? You ended up liking that guy Dean Smith-the one who wrote those stories, the one who ended up being happy with the dregs of Jensen Ackles' mistakes. So yeah, I didn't want you to know about my name and who I am during your past. But that's all there is. Everything else-this is me now, Jared. I'm sorry-I'm really fucking sorry for what I did. And that it's enough reason why you can't even like me now."
"Jensen," Jared says.
Jensen nods and looks away. "I'll take a cab," he announces. Jared calls him again, but Jensen is already slipping out of the room, through the throng of people, and down the elevator.
--
Jensen doesn't write for three days.
It's like that time three years ago-worrying if he overstepped some boundary with Jared, wondering if Jared will return the calls Jensen made to his dorm room. He sleeps a lot, gets up, diligently refuses to turn on the TV, and spends hours staring at his computer's blank screen.
After the third day, he starts writing: words flow into song lyrics, into poetry, into some kind of drama in his journal. His editor calls to tell him that he doesn't have to send anything in, since he has no overdue from that time he was overflowing with inspiration on-
Well, anyway, two songs are written in the span of two days, and just as Jensen has finished jotting down the lines of another poem, the doorbell rings.
Jensen takes his time opening it. The first few days, he was hoping Jared might call him, or even visit him, but there hadn't been anything. After some time, he realized that Jared probably thought this through and probably realized Jensen's not worth the trouble anyway.
So maybe he isn't expecting it's Jared when he opens, the door, but his heart still breaks a little when he sees it's Steve and Danneel.
"Hey," he says dully, throwing the door open to let them in.
Once inside, Danneel gives him a hug, then presses a warm mug into his hands. "Coffee, made by yours truly." She stares at his eyes. "Shit, he really did a number on you, didn't he?"
"You should see how he looks like," Jensen jokes, but it only falls flat.
"So," Steve says, "Danneel says the best thing to do is to eat ice-cream and watch extremely violent movies, but Chris and I vetoed it, considering that a) I don't secretly have a vagina, and b) I want-"
"-the chance to say 'I told you so', I know," Jensen finishes.
Steve's eyes soften, and he shoulder checks Jensen as they shuffle into the living room where Jensen has been camping out. "Not that," he admonishes. "Although, yeah, you knew it was gonna happen, but the guy was also a prick. I never liked him."
"Yes, you did!" Danneel exclaims. "You said he was alright. You said he was funny!"
"I also said he was a cool kid three years ago, and he still broke Jensen's heart then," Steve points out. He turns to Jensen, his voice turning gentle. "So he hasn't called."
Jensen shakes his head, laughing deprecatingly. "I guess I was the only one emotionally invested in all of this."
Steve and Danneel wince.
"Still, I understand," Jensen goes on. "I mean-LA, man! What're the odds of meeting the guy rejected there, much less have him play you-"
"You didn't play him-"
"Yeah, I did," Jensen interrupts, slouching on the couch. "I mean, he never really liked Jensen Ackles, even before. Why would he even want Dean Smith? Especially when he learns he's actually Jensen Ackles."
Danneel grabs his hand and squeezes it tight. "Sweetie, if he never wanted you, it's his loss. You're cool and amazing, whoever you are. And I can honestly say that even if I didn't know you three years ago, I would date you. If you had a vagina."
"Thanks," Jensen says, and is surprised to find that he means it.
They sit silently for a while, until Steve leans forward and announces brightly, "So, you have any ice-cream in your freezer?"
Jensen laughs, feels like he's about to cry. "Yeah. Yeah, there's still one left."
--
Steve leaves at around early evening, saying he has a gig that night. Jensen and Danneel cook dinner, talking about Jensen's new songs, the old woman customer in the coffee shop who tells Danneel she needs an extra shot every morning ever since her daughter came by to visit, and Misha's latest book acquisitions. Danneel doesn't mention Jared again, although she does let drop that Jared has visited the shop once to buy coffee and Danneel had made someone else serve him.
When Danneel finally leaves, Jensen heaves a sigh and goes back to his computer, determined to at least make a blog entry when the doorbell rings again. He looks at the corner of the room, realizes that Danneel has left her jacket, and sighs as he opens the door.
"I swear, you're going to freeze the next time-" And he stops because there's Jared, standing in his hall, looking sheepish.
They stare at each other silently until Jared clears his throat. "Hey."
"Hey." Jensen stares at him.
Jared nods, peering over his shoulder. "Can I...?" He indicates to the door, and Jensen throws it open so he can follow.
Once they enter the living room, Jensen notices how Jared regards the photographs on the walls and on his desk. He crosses his arms and lets Jared-of course, he would want to know what he missed. But it still feels a bit like being cross-sectioned, and Jensen is quick to slip into a defensive mode.
Finally, Jared shakes his head, laughing softly. "I don't know how I missed it."
Jensen has been expecting this. "Got rid of the glasses, cut my hair and let it bleach with the sun, and got more freckles. I worked out, enough that I filled out. I got a little taller, although I won't ever be as big as a Sasquatch like you. Also, I started wearing shirts instead of those goddamn button-downs."
Jared stares at him, then at the photos again. "You talk differently, too," he mentions.
"I lost my accent, but not all of it," Jensen says dismissively. "It's not a big deal."
"If you talked the way you did before, I think I might have known," Jared tells him. "Or at least figured out that something was up."
Jensen gives him a weak smile. "I'll make sure to remember that," he intones.
Jared visibly hesitates, then says, "I got a call from Chris. Actually, Chris called Mike, who called Chad, who told me that I'm a dick."
"So everyone knows about this?" Jensen gawks.
"Just Mike, and I'm trying to apologize here, so hush." Jared starts pacing, the same way he did just a few nights before. "So yeah, they think I'm a dick, and even Chad thinks I'm a dick, so I guess it's kind of a consensus."
"Chad also thinks Istanbul is just another name for Indonesia," Jensen reminds him awkwardly.
It feels weird saying that because it's something Chad told Jensen when Mike first introduced Chad to them. Jensen had been charmed-that is, he quickly escaped to his room with a blatant lie and started avoiding Chad like a plague. Saying it now, though, makes it feel like those two worlds are colliding too fast for them to keep up.
Jared looks like he's having the same epiphany, and there's another awkward moment between them before Jared goes on, "So it got me thinking, how did I even miss you're Jensen Ackles, when you're the reason I moved to LA in the first place?"
"Oh." What else is there to say about that? Jensen had entertained the thought, but he's managed to convince himself not to be that narcissistic. But now, that Jared is actually admitting it... "You moved because you wanted to, Jared, don't pin that on me."
"What? Wait, no, you don't understand. I told you..." Jared sighs. "I told you I was having personal problems that year, right?" At Jensen's nod, Jared goes on, "I had a girlfriend."
"FUck," Jensen spits out and spins around, ready to grab a drink.
But Jared grabs his hand, pulls him back. "No listen, I had a girlfriend that time. She was smart, sweet, and pretty much everything to me. And then I met Jensen Ackles-you-and you were amazing and shy and so goddamn hot, and you liked hanging out with me even when I asked the stupidest questions just so I can go to your office every week. Sandy and I were already having problems before I met you, and then I just...I realized..." He stops, looks away.
Jensen starts stroking Jared's wrist, willing him to continue. "You realized," he prompts.
"I was so fucking into you," Jared says softly. "When Sandy and I broke up, she told me she hopes that everything goes well for me, because many places in Texas still don't accept gay men as well. And I am. Gay. I maybe freaked out a little bit."
"Shit," Jensen swears. "Did she..."
Jared shakes his head. "She meant it in a good way, and I guess she was afraid for me because she could see how I was always...you were all I talked about, and even my parents were asking me if I was going to invite you during break because...and Chad. Chad was so fucking insufferable that he made me go to all the parties Tom and Mike were in because he said sometimes you went with them." He pauses. "And one night, you did. Go out with them. That was..."
"Yeah," Jensen utters, nodding.
He's told himself otherwise, but he clearly remembers how Jared had flirted, had leaned closer to make sure he can tell Jensen everything to his ear, and how Jensen had been so drunk with happiness that when Jared pulled him into the bathroom, the latch to the door had barely settled before he pushed Jared against the door, fell on his knees, and started nuzzling Jared's crotch like a whore.
Jared looks away, and Jensen immediately pulls his hand away. Finally, he clears his throat, and goes on hoarsely, "So yeah, I'm a dick. And maybe you didn't help any when you lied about being who you are, but I think I may have had some hand into it. So...you know, I'm sorry."
Jared falls silent, making Jensen fidget on his seat. Finally, he looks up to find Jared's eyeing him with some trepidation, which makes him break into a smile. "It's fine, Jared. The truth is, I got over it after a while. Can't say it wasn't easy, but time helped. Moving away also helped. I didn't go to LA because of you-I got a contract for writing songs shortly after you left so, you know, it was an opportunity.
"But when I saw you again when you again in the coffee shop, I thought I might as well-you know, get to know you more." Jensen takes a deep breath and takes the plunge. After all, if Jared doesn't want to be with Jensen the same way Jensen wants to be with him, then at least Jensen manages to clear the air. Make sure there's no more misunderstanding. "And the person you are now makes me realize that I am way more interested than I previously thought."
"So you're saying...you still like me," Jared puts in slowly.
"I got over you years ago, Jared. It's just..." Jensen shrugs and explains shyly, "I fell in love all over again."
Jared stares at him, then drops his head with a shy grin. "Y'know," he drawls in an audible Texan accent, tracing a pattern on the couch, "if this were a movie, we'd be kissing right about now."
"Yeah?" Jensen tries not to let his hopes up, but the pounding of his heart threatens to drown out silly logic. "Um...yeah, come to think of it, if it were a book, or even a short story, there would be some inane lines about the magic of conversation and getting over a conflict, so I guess-"
"Jensen," Jared says amusedly, and for a moment Jensen sees that young college boy he fell in love with lurking behind Jared's eyes, "I'm saying we can kiss."
Jensen stops, feels himself turning red. "Oh, well then, I'll just-" He leans forward.
This time, Jared meets him halfway.
--
Jensen hates mornings, but when he rolls over the next day and realizes Jared is still on his bed, he finds himself stretching lazily, observing the man next to him. Removing his contacts in the middle of the night certainly made the view blurry, but Jensen solves the problem by shifting closer.
Jared has certainly grown up beautifully with his long muscled legs and tight ass that fits right into Jensen's palms. Jensen eyes Jared's dick: thick and long, entirely proportional to the large frame, especially during the morning when. Jensen's mouth waters just thinking about it as he scoots over, remembering how it felt in his hands just last night. How Jared had moaned while Jensen jacked him off slowly, watching Jared's face. How Jensen had come just after Jared did.
He gives Jared's cock a tentative lick, smiling when Jared twitches in his sleep. Slowly, sleepily, he slinks lower, presses his face into the V of Jared's legs. Above him, Jared gives another moan, shifting over Jensen's sheets. Jensen puts a hand at the inside of Jared's thigh; it has an instantaneous effect. Jared stops, sinks back into the mattress and tangle of blankets.
Smiling, Jensen laps at Jared's dick, root to tip in one instant-earning an other moan. It makes Jensen's heart beat faster, makes him wanton with need. He sucks the tip into his mouth, sliding down-unhurriedly, leisurely-the velvet skin tickling his tongue. The blurt of precum slides paints the insides of his cheeks, over his lips. Jared moans again, but Jensen can hear the tone of awareness, the way Jared rouses as he thrusts deeper into Jensen's throat.
It makes Jensen suck harder before returning to his usual languid pace.
"Jesus," Jared moans. "Oh my g-god, Jensen."
Jensen feels Jared's eyes on him, and it makes him shyer. But he's not that guy anymore, and he's not about to let this opportunity pass, so he slides down again, brings up his hand to wrap around the base of Jared's cock where his mouth can't reach.
"Oh god," Jared pants. "Jen, Jenny-" Jared massages Jensen's head. "Yes, god, your fucking lips, should've known-oh god, should've known it was-it was you. Wanna see your eyes, can I...?"
Jensen obeys quickly, meeting Jared's eyes as he continues. The vision is blurry, but what he can make out-Jared's face as he pants and tries not to thrust too much into Jensen's mouth, the way his biceps bulge, straining to massage Jensen's head before fisting the sheets-makes him hard that he ends up humping the mattress. And when Jared gasps, "Jensen, I'm-gonna-" Jensen ignores him, sucks harder as his hand continues to jack off the base of Jared's cock until Jared cums with a shout, practically arching his back.
Jensen pulls back quickly, but not fast enough that some liquid lands in his mouth and on his jaw, spilling into his hands.
He's still licking up the stray ones that land on Jared's thighs when Jared finally comes down from his high and basks in the attention before groaning. "Get up here," he demands.
Jensen quickly complies, groaning when Jared wraps his hand over his raging hard-on. Jensen buries his face into Jared's neck, now unaccountably shy. "Like that," he pants, thrusting into the heat of Jared's fingers. "Yeah-Jared-"
"Look so beautiful," Jared whispers into his ear. "Shy, too-even now, you try to hide it but I fucking love it. Fucking love that you're so confident-fucking sexy, but still shy-when it comes to-I remember-"
"Jesus," Jensen groans into Jared's neck, spilling into his hand.
They bask in the afterglow for a few moments, and Jared starts stroking Jensen's back, the part that makes him squirmy.
"So," Jared says conversationally, his voice still hoarse from sex and sleepiness, "I know we're trying to move forward, not let our past get in the way, but. I gotta tell you. I always thought those glasses made you look hot, man. If you'd blown me after our first date, I might have figured out things sooner."
"Mmm," Jensen says, then quickly pulls back incredulously. "What...really? I got contacts because of you!"
Jared frowns. "What do you mean? I never said anything about your glasses...did I?" he goes on uncertainly.
Jensen gives him a mock punch on the arm. "I thought I looked kind of nerdy," he muttered in chagrin.
"In case you didn't know," Jared says sleepily, "I'm kind of into that thing, so lucky you."
"Hmm." Jensen thinks of that day when Jared Padalecki walks into the shop, seeing him after all those years and finally being here, in his arms. Three years ago, Jensen would never have thought of that. "Yeah," he agrees softly as Jared's arm wraps around him to pull him closer. "Lucky me."
end
--
Part 1